Chapter 1: cute story....sweet !

ohhh~ so great

Cute ^^

<3 HUSWIFE!!! :DD

yeah its my first story and thank you for pointing out what went wrong in my story... 0936daph I will try to improve it in my next story.. thanks... i f you have time.. it would be nice if you read my second story.. the tittle is The more you hate The more you love... thank you

so its your first story right ? hmm i love the story but i do find some problems (pls don hate me )...one when your focusing in a Korean characters make sure your making them as korean not other nationality ... if your using english name make sure u have a corresponding korean name for it or else it would look like you made them korean-american ... two when typing check your grammar at least try fixing obvious problems ... three when you make action as part of the dialogue make sure to use *(action)* example::::( wrong way :pout i love you) (right way : *pout* i love u ) lastly don be afraid to different i see some parts that you are holding back .... makin' the story a bit lame then you make it good the flow becomes uh? no sense at all (sorry but i know you will improve more) consistency <br />
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:) dont lose hope every new writer start with this type of stuff ... u will get use of this neh? bye... thanks gomawo salamat arigato xie xie

i started writing again i already post it the tittle is The more you hate the more you love.. please have time to read it.. thanks again<br />
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okay,, i'll wait for it!

it's my first story so i think your comments and ideas will improve my next stories..<br />