Hi again.. Yes I'm back.. First of all, I wanna say thanks to some of the readers that have given me some courageous.. I don’t mind criticism, I really do.. In fact, it makes me think while I was in my deep thought.. To be truth, I still need more time to completely healed.. Please give me some..
Well, I'm trying to get my feet back to the ground, so I was thinking of some story but sorry if it's still lame..
I know some authors and readers not affected by the news and even turn to ship xxxstal now.. Good for you then, but sorry I’m not..
I will never like or even ship xxxstal.. Never.. I’m not even Krystal fans, but I love Kryber interactions.. I'm here for Amber Joshepine Liu..
Call me childish, lame or even delulu.. As you want.. I am who I am.. I’m happy to be myself..
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Amber POV
It’s been a month since I left Seoul, each day my friends keep calling me, Victoria unnie, Luna, Eric, Henry, Ailee, but not her. Sigh. They would ask how am I doing, when I will get back and so on. "Hey, I smell something burnt," Jackie's voice startled me. Crap, my dish. Sigh. "Just have lunch outside, okay? You've lock yourself since you come anyway," my sister said while patting my shoulder. I nodded, when I'm about wash the burn pan, she grabs it from my hand. "Let me do the dish, you can change your clothed," she said. I nodded again.
I was putting my clothes to the laundry bag when my phone rang. I took the phone and look at the screen, no name. Who is it, i wonder. "Hello," I greet. No one answer till my third greet. I just hear a sob. Okay, it's kinda spooky now, but it's noon. No ghost pranking at noon, right? Gulp. "Amber," it's her. How can I forget her beautiful voice that I used to hear every morning. "Hey," "How are you?" she asked. "Good. How about you?" I replied. "I'm screwed. I can't sleep well, I lose my weight, I'm barely eating. I missed you so much," her voice sounds so weak. The truth is I'm not good either. My mom keep nagging on me say that I become skinnier and looked like a zombie. We keep silent for minutes until my sister approaching my door. She raise her brows and I put a finger tell her to wait. She seems knows who was on the phone. She leave downstairs before I continued on my phone, "Krys, sorry but I need to go," I said. "Amber, when will you come back here?" "I don't know. Sorry but I really need to go. Bye," I hang up the phone before she says anything more. I turned it off and burst on my tears, I missed her but I can't let myself drown on my feeling toward her again.

Krystal POV
"Amber! No! Please!" I yell at the phone. I try to dial again but the phone is turned off. I cry myself loud. She must be hate me now. "Soojung, what is it?" my mom come to my bed in a rush. She caressed my hair, "She hates me. Amber hates me, mom," I sob. "No. Amber isn't hate you, dear. She wouldn't  do that," my mom said while I cry on her embrace. "She'll be back. Don't worry, just give her some time, okay? Your sister gonna get her back," she added. I was shock at my mom's word, "What?" "Yes, Jessica went to L.A on Friday. She was gonna tell you but you lock yourself at your room," my mom said.

Amber POV
I’m going downstairs after wash my face and look fresher. "Jackie," I call my sister but I can't find her anywhere. I found a note on the fridge,

Am, I'm starving. You should go by yourself to get lunch, okay?

Sigh. What a sister I have. But I decide to go the near place to get my lunch, too lazy to cook. I stop at a cafe near my place and get inside. I make my order and wait while turn on my mp3, I listened to an old song, K.Will - Left Heart. Sigh. Who know that a song that I used to sang on my audition is gonna related to my current situation.

How can you smile?
Because I still can’t breathe
How can you be happy?
When everything is still so awkward for me
Her eyes, that always said she can’t live without me
How can she see someone else?

The left side of my heart hurts so much
As it gets crushed by something
Every time I breathe
When I think of you, when I hear something about you
For a long time, my heart was in so much pain
But thinking about it again
I wouldn’t want it differently

It was a good thing
Yes, a good thing
When I think about it once more
You are still my girl
It feel like you are still my girl
How am I going to forget about you?

I get home about minutes for dinner time. Oh man, my mom gonna scold me. Sigh. I open the door and hear chuckles at the kitchen. "I'm home," "Amber, you have a guest," Jackie said from the kitchen. I approach the kitchen and widen my eyes in shocked, "Unnie," I whisper. "Hey Am," Jessica greet me with a smile. "You're just in time, dear. Let's get dinner," my dad say while put his hand on my shoulder.
“When did you arrive?” I start the conversation. "Yesterday," she answered. I nodded. “How are you, Am?” Jessica asks me when we both on the back terrace. "As you can see, I'm still alive," I joked. She nudges at my upper arm. Then the silent comes. It's a bit awkward but what can I do, she's my guest. "She missed you. She barely eats and sleeps," Jessica turns to me and says but I keep silent with my head down. Sigh.  "Why? I thought she's happy now with..." "No she's not happy since you left," she cut me. "Her smile never reaches to her eyes. She locked herself on her bedroom for days without eat," she added. Sigh. "It makes my family frustrated. My dad broke into her bedroom on the third days and found her on the floor, unconscious," she said with a sad voice. "We took her to hospital and discharged on the fifth days. She's okay, but she still barely eats before i decide to come. I promised her to take you back," she says again. Sigh.
"Amber, let's go back to Seoul," "Give me more time to think,"

Krystal POV
My phone rang. I look at the screen, it was him. I reject it. It beeps on some minutes,

From : xxx
Hey, let's hang out.

To : xxx
No thanks. I prefer at home with my family.

From : xxx
Why?

To : xxx
Just feel like it.

I throw my phone to my bed and heading downstairs. "Sweetheart, you're awake," my dad calls me at the couch. I approach him and sit beside him. I hug his waist and leaned my head on his shoulder. He seems know that I don't feel well. "Sweetheart, I know you've been stress about the news and about Amber leave to the States," he said and I start to sob. He my back and sigh. "She'll be back," he said. "What should I do, dad? She hates me," I said between my sob. "She's not. Trust me. She loves you too much to hates you. Besides, your sister is going to take her back here. She promised," he said. "What should I do when she's back?" "Just follow your heart," he said and kissed my forehead.

My phone is beeping, it’s a message. Let's hope it's not him again. I sigh in relief, it's Jessica.

From : My Unnie
Baby sist, I'm coming back tomorrow. I bring a big presents for you. Keke.

To : My Unnie
I'll be waiting for my big presents, unnie.

From : My Unnie
Okay, I will let you know as soon as I've landed.

I put my phone on my bed table and grinning like an idiot. But suddenly I feel a bit afraid. I'm afraid that she's gonna reject to meet me. I'm gonna meet her, no matter what.

Amber POV
Here I am, again, at the Incheon airport. Jessica keeps coming to my house for couple days. Thanks to her and my family, they assure me to get me back here.

Flashback
"Baobei (Dear), I know you still hurt, but don't you feel hurt more since you know she's longing for you and she's not in a good condition?" my mom said.
"Just listen to your heart, Amber," its my dad.
End of flashback

"Amber," she pat my shoulder, get me back to reality. "The plane is landed perfectly. Let's go," she said. I can see a lot of camera on us. Yes, me and Jessica, it's such an unusual scene. "I wonder, will there be our picture on the news tomorrow?" Jessica whispering at me while we’re walking. I just smile. I hope not, I don't like 'drama' on my life.
"So, you wanna go home first or straight to my place?" she asked. I hesitate and she can see it. Can I face Krystal now? "Maybe you should head home. When you feel better, you can come to her, okay?" she said. I nodded.
I sit myself on the couch as soon as I arrived. Sigh. I miss Jackjack but I think he will be okay for couple more days at Ailee's place.
I grab my towel and heading to shower before take a nap after my long trip. I closed my eyes and snuggled to my pillow but I can't sleep. Sigh. I hear my doorbell rang, wonder who is it. I walk lazily to the door and widen my eyes in surprised. She’s not greeting me at all, just running to hug my neck immediately when I open my door. She cries out loud on my shoulder. I freeze on my spot. I can smell her scent, which I've been longing for couple months. Sigh. I close my door and carry her to my couch. She keeps her hand on my neck, not planning to let me go, I guess. I put her on my lap while I sit on my couch. I'm her back softly till she stops her cry.
She pulled herself from the hug and staring at me. None of us start a conversation. We just look at each other in the eyes. She looks so pale and miserable. "Have you eat?" I asked while tuck her hair behind her ear. She shook. Sigh. "I'll make something to eat, okay?" I said but she shook then buried her face to my neck again. "When was your last meal?" I asked. "Monday, I guess," she whispers. "Are you nuts? It's Thursday. You've been skipped your meal for 3 days," I said in a bit harsh tone. Sigh. I rubbed my temples, "Sorry for yelling but you seriously need to eat. Look at you," I said while look at her. Her eyes meet mine. "You look so pale, just like a vampire," I say while caress her cheek. "But I'm still beautiful," she tries to joke. I scrunch my nose, "Vampire is beautiful you know. Look at Kristen Stewart.," she added. "You're gonna eat or I'll be back to L.A? Your choice," I said. I know that my threat gonna work on her. She whines and I find it so cute. "I still wanna hugging for couple minutes, please," she whines on me. Sigh. I kissed her forehead before lean on the headrest.

Krystal POV
Amber forced me to eat even I say I don't the appetite. We're on her dining table, "Krys, eat it up," she said. I just play with my utensils with a pout. I hear she sigh then try to feed me with hers, "Aaah," she push the meat to my mouth. I shook. She rise from her seat and move beside me. "Aaaaah," she feed me while make a face. I chuckle at her, "Don't make that face," I said before put the meat inside my mouth. She is going to get back to her place before, I hold her hand and leaned my head on her shoulder, "Why are you so spoiled today?" she asked. "Because I miss you," I said. "Can I stay over?" I asked. "Only if you finish you meals," "Only if you fed me. Aaah," Within minutes, my plate all clean.

I open the door soon as I finished my bath. She's typing something on her phone with a smile, "Who is it?" I asked. "It's just Henry," she replied. I crawled to her bed and sit beside her while leaned on her shoulder. I take a peek on her screen, they're chat alot. Sigh. "What?" she asked while turned to me. I shook. “Is Henry still mad at me?” I asked. "No idea but it's better you stay away from him. Just for a while," she said. My phone rang all of sudden, I take it and look at the screen. Sigh. Such a mood crusher. I reject it but a message pop on the screen in seconds.

From : xxx
What are you doing? Let's hang out.

To : xxx
Just relaxing. No, I wanna get sleep.

Amber slip out the bed with sour face. I think she saw who’s sent the message. Crap. "Amber," I try to call her, but she walking out the bedroom.

Amber POV
It's just a message, Amber. Sigh. But why I feel so annoyed. I grab a soda from the fridge and sit on my couch while turn on the TV. "Amber," Krystal is following me and sit beside me. She sigh, "Am. I didn't do anything. You can see his messages," she hand me her phone. I shook, "Your phone is your privacy," I said in a bit cold tone. She lean on my shoulder, "Don't get mad. I won't go with him in voluntary," "I know," I replied. "But will you promise not to upset when the company asked me to?" "Yeah. You can't reject when the company has ordered you, right?" I said. She nodded. I grab her hand and lead her back to my bedroom.
"Am," she call me while snuggling to my neck. "Hmm?" "You won't leave me again, right?" she asked. "No. I'll stand behind you. You can always turn to me when you need me," I said. "Stay with me. I can't get through this without you," she said. She pulls herself from my neck and I turn my head and peck her lips. She furrows her brows, "Just a peck?" she whined. I smile then kiss her lips softly. "Go to sleep now," I said. "Good night, Am. I love you," "Good night and I love you too, Krys. Forever,"

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Lame isn't it? I can’t really make a happy ending story.. *sigh*