Chasing Pavements for You and only for You.

Staring out the window of my friends apartment was giving me a mellow feeling. My mind was blank as I was watching the clouds roll on by. It was early in the morning, everything was quiet, something I treasure nowadays. I couldn't sleep at all last night, not with my phone blinking at the missed calls and texts from ____. Soon after the 50^th missed call, my friend took my phone and locked it in her desk drawer, but I'm pretty sure it was not only for my good but so she didn't have to keep hearing the same ringtone over and over again.

Moving from my spot, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a muffin. Nibbling on the treat, I was on deep thought. I know I should push ___ out of my mind,but I couldn't help but wonder if all the miss calls and texts were a sign from somewhere that he does truly care for me. Shaking my head and placing the muffin on the table, I scoffed at the thought.

“ ____ doesn't care. He probably wants something,before going back to her” I thought smiling bitterly.

“-----....maybe you should take a walk” My friend said rubbing her eyes giving me a tired yawn. “ Relax abit, ___ isn't going to chase after you,” ignoring my glare she continue speaking,” -----, I know what you're thinking. Your thinking your love life might be like that little cartoon thing you saw on the web...but in reality, ____ isn't going to see he truly loves you, if he has little miss thing on speed dial” She said handing my jacket and a pair of sunglasses. “ Now take a jog” She said pushing me out the door while lending me her Ipod.

Putting the hoodie on and turn on the ipod, I was softly singing along to the song while heading to Hans River.

“Should I just give up or Should I just keep chasing pavements?”

___ POV

-last night-

I was sitting in the studio, working on a song for ***** newest album. I was almost finish as some of the dancers and the members wanted to go out. Biting my lip, I was debating if I should go or not. As if on que, ----- texted me asking when I was coming home.

To: ____

From: Jagiya<3

“ Ya!! When are you coming over?! It's almost 10! You better have a good reason for not leaving yet....and SHE better not be the reason your late! D: Jerk.

I chuckled at her text, knowing she was still mad about what happen. Sighing quietly, I was scolding my self for treating her so wrong. I don't deserve her at all. I know what I was doing, cheating on her,treating her like crap,but I couldn't stop. It was as if acting like this whenever I had a girlfriend was a taboo. Tighten my grip on my phone as the one person came to thought. ~~~~ face appeared in my head. I never felt so hurt and betrayed by a girl then her. After finding out she cheated on me and used me for my fame, I deem any other girl like that and just became a cruel player. It was until I met -----, I tried to changed. I notice she would do little things,as if she was hiding the fact she was worried about me not being healthy to her standing by my side during something bad. I tried to avoid doing the same acts on -----,but in that one night....I-I couldn't avoid her flirting actions. Alcohol, the flirting actions,and having ----- on my mind wasn't good. After that two hours in an unknown room, I couldn't believe what I have done. I hated myself, as I walked to -----'s house. I confess everything,I felt so happy that she didn't leave me and forgive me. A few days after that night, I could help but feel the urges of what I used to do. Step by step, I started falling into my old taboo's, hating myself even more. She deserves someone better the way I don't deserve her.

Sending a text explaining how I was still going to be late, as soon as I send the text I got one back. I frown at it, I hate how she can pick up my taboos very fast. Such a cunning girlfriend. After sending the reply, I bit my lip for lying to her again. This has to stop.

“ Ne~ ___, are we gonna go to the newest club?” A high-pitch voice said draping their arms around me. I had a small frown as I rolled my eyes,shrugging the arms off.

“ You can go So-Ri, I'm not in the mood to go” I said texting -----. “ Why can't you leave me the hell alone woman!” I thought as I felt So-Ri playing with my hair as I could feel her glaring at my phone.

“ Texting ----? ____, why are you still playing games with her, you have something better, more y, and probably amazing in-” I cut her off,getting annoyed.

“ Better then ----? Tch you're nothing,but an annoying little girl who can't tell when someone wants you gone. Face it So-Ri, I'm done with you. So leave me alone” I said coldly as I grabbed my things and left the studio. Sighing I started heading towards -----

apartment.

Once I reached her house, something felt weird, setting my things down and looked around. Some things were tossed all over the place in -----'s room. A wave of panic crossed my mind thinking her place was robbed and something happen to her. Until I notice something shine on -----'s bed. It was her promise ring. I froze at the spot I was standing at, just shocked. ----- couldn't have left me. Slowly walking towards her desk picking up her ring,and the letter that was under it. Skimming the letter, my wides widen as I almost dropped the ring. I couldn't believe what was happening. Reading the letter thoroughly, I could hear -----'s voice, as if she was talking to me in person. I could feel the pain and tiredness in her voice.

Dear _____,

I take it you're now finally reading this, I should probably be grateful you even bother coming to my apartment to see me. Your also probably wondering why I'm not here...it's because..I'm not. What I mean is....I'm leaving Seoul,leaving Korea. I'll come back,but as a new person. A new person that is over you, for good. ____, I truly do love you, I might still love you even if I tried to get over you, but I need to,no, I have to. Our relationship isn't healthy for either of us. I'm getting tired of the same old. Sometimes I wonder if you even love me, cause if you do...why..why are you doing this?! Why are you treating me as if I'm your love, when you have someone else waiting in your bed when you leave me? The first few times I ignore it, only because I didn't know if I have the guts to let you go, but now...it's not the matter if I can or can't, all that matters is I need to leave and let you go. I'm sorry that I can't do this to your face,but I knew if I tried leaving when your here, I wouldn't. Your free to have So-Ri or who ever you want now. This is good-bye. I love you.

From,

------- ------

I didn't have to look at a mirror to know that tears were falling. I lost her. I lost ------....probably for good now. Putting the letter and ring back on the desk. I gripped the sides of the desk, in anger and sorrow. How could I been so stupid! I lost someone that important to me and it was my ing fault! My breathing was becoming more short as I was taking deep breaths.

“ Arugh!!!!” I shouted grabbing the chair throwing it somewhere. I couldn't care if I was destroying everything, It didn't matter. She wasn't coming back. I was blind in a fit of rage for myself as I threw,toss,tore anything I can get my hands on. “ How can you leave me --------! How! I loved you!!!” I shouted to no one as I punched the mirror on the dresser, ignoring the pain and bleeding wound on my hand. Falling to my knees, clutching my head as I cried. This has to be my weakest state I've ever been in.

“ ------....come back...please” I whispered as I hear my members running in. They must have followed me.

“ Hyung! Hyung!” One of them said in a panic as they stopped to see the room. “ Hyung....”.

“What?” I snapped at them,glaring. I wasn't paying attention to them, until I felt hands on my shoulder. Looking up, I notice the concern expression as I watched their lips moved. “ What?” I asked closing my eyes.

“ You need to stop ------..... If you truly love her...Stop her” He said as he frowned at my bitter smirk.

“ How? It's oblivious that she doesn't need me. She. Left. Me” I said laughing bitter. “ Probably for the best too, since I can have any other girl now, I'll forget her soon enough...just like how she's gonna forget me” I said as I was on the floor,feeling a pain in my cheek. Looking at the member who punch me. I couldn't believe the anger I saw in him as the other were holding him back.

“ You Pabo! Why are you acting like this?! No wonder ------ is leaving your sorry ! I still can't believe she stayed with you for this long! If your like this cause of your last ex, then Hyung... your a ing child! Face it, your ruining your own life! Your ex may have caused you to be this,but it's your own choice to even go along with it after a few weeks!” He shouted getting free from the others and tackled me. The two of was were wrestling and fighting as the others tried to stop us.

When they pulled us apart I can't help but glared. Why is he so worried and acting up.

“ Why the hell do you care?! She was my girlfriend!” I shouted as he had the coldest look.

“ I care because I was inlove with her! I had the chance to get her last two months! Wanna know why I couldn't? Not only did I respect you, but she decline my offer to be with me! She said even though you act like an and everything, She's willing to wait and hope that you change and return to your normal self! Now look how that went! I should have asked her out before you ever did!” He shouted as I was speechles. I couldn't believe what I heard. ----- had the chance to cheat on me or leave me for him...but she didn't, only because she loved me.

I became quiet as I moved to the bed and sat down. I had to recollect my thoughts. Having my head down trying to calm down, I gave a sigh as I tried to block everything,but when I did...I couldn't let her out of my head. After what seem like hours, I looked at them.

“ I know...I know... She could be better off with you...but even so...would she be happy?” I asked staring at him,before he could speak I cut him off, “ She might be,but I'm not losing her, I'm not going to give her up. I'll stop ----- from leaving, I don't care if the world knows. If it means I have to run or chase after her to the freaking airport and confessing everything....I'll do it” I said standing up. There no turning back, this was the last chance to get her. I'm not going to screw it up. I'm not going to lose -----, even if it kills me. “ Where is ------” I said staring at my friends who bit their lips.

-end of flashback of last night-

I was talking a walk by Hans river, thinking about ---- and what I would say to her. I was dressed normal and only had a beanie,glasses,and a jacket. Letting a sigh out, I turned my glaze to my left,hearing jogging. I knew it would be fans, since most of them were at Lotte world with the random fan signing that I made my group do. I was about to hid until I saw the familiar figure.

Myeyes widen at the sight. It was ------. It seems she was shocked too as I grabbed her arm to keep her from running off. Pulling her into a tight hug, I didn't care she was calling me names or trying to break free. I just wanted to hold her, making sure she was still her.

“ Jagiya....” I said softly, feeling her tense up. She stop speaking,only turning her energy to breaking free from me. “ Don't leave me....please, just hear me out.” I said hugging her tighter.

“ N-No ____, I'm not listening to you! Please! Just let me go!” She cried as I felt me heart breaking.

Reader's POV

I couldn't believe I had to run into ____. I had to get out of here, I had to leave. I wouldn't listen to his reasons or anything. I would have gotten away, if he didn't grabbed my arm and pulled me into his arms. I could smell his cologne as I notice his hand bandaged up. “ What did he do?” I thought as I was trying to push him off.

“ ____! Let go of me!” I shouted trying to get free, as he kept his grip and told me I should listen to his reasons and everything.

Lies, it could be lies!” I thought feeling tears coming as I stopped pushing him because I was growing tired.

I closed my eyes as I spoke.

“ Tell me your reasons or lies, or what ever.....just...just hurry” I said giving myself one more chance to hear him out, after that...I'll pick to stay or leave. It's my choice if I should keep chasing him or give up.

“Everyone has choices, mine is to figure out if I should stay...or leave you”

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Just read Chap 6 for the last author note c:

Reposted

Enjoy

-SayuriNoona