"Steam out of his nose in 3... 2... 1..."

 

"Chen, don't you have anything better to do?" Luhan tore his eyes away and momentarily postponed murdering someone in his head to look at the unique pair of grins that never fails to pull him out of his daze.

 

"Admit it, Lu-ge. You enjoy the comments." Chen answered with a grin. 

 

"I think I found the reason for the steam engine in his nose." Yixing said, pointing at Minseok while a classmate from the Dance class was trying to treat him to lunch.

 

"It's been more than a week! It should've died down a bit but it's getting worse!" he complained and tried to pull his hair out.

 

"You know, Lu-ge..." Yixing started as him and his brother settle in their usual seat. The separate table setup thankfully only stayed for one day. The second day when Luhan didn't answer Minseok when he asked if he can join the table, and when the other again made way to an empty table, a bunch of students called him and told him that he can join their tables instead. That got Luhan standing up and telling Minseok to sit in their table.

 

"... you can't expect it to die down if Minseok-hyung doesn't meet anyone to formally reject them." Yixing finished.

 

"Or accept them." Chen added. The youngest of the three stared at the oldest and sure enough, cue in the glare. "I'm just stating the facts. You can't keep Minseok-hyung waiting for long."

 

"I know that... I know that, I just need some time to sort out my own feelings." Lu Han answered in surrender. Actually, what he had been trying to do this past week is convincing himself to see Minseok as a friend, a best friend even. But as he lied on his bed each night, telling himself that Minseok is a friend like some sort of mantra, all his stupid heart would do is beat erratically as images of Minseok flooded his mind. Lu Han still found the same attraction to his smiles, to his eyes, the gracefulness in his movements, his voice... everything that he fell in love with before.

 

Luhan watched as the other boy left after Minseok had determinedly refused his offer. He still loved the way Minseok will stare at the display of desserts and the way he will point at the cakes. He still loved how Minseok will comb the imaginary length of hair behind his ears. Come to think of it, he had kept his hair long all these years so it isn't a surprise that Minseok had gotten that little habit, but it looked cute in Luhan's eyes.

 

Minseok made his way to the table, throwing Luhan a wary look before slowly sinking on the seat around the end of the table. He had stopped sitting next to Luhan after revealing about his gender, knowing full well how his best friend hates close proximity with guys. Luhan had appreciated that greatly, at first. Now, he's just really craving the presence next to him. They had always been together, right next to each other. Now he feels so alone.

 

Something white was peeking from Minseok's pocket and even without asking what it is, Luhan knows that it's another letter from an admirer. They just seem to multiply each day and they bug Minseok to no end.

 

"Luhan, are you okay?" a soft voice asked. 

 

Luhan really hated it, how Minseok started calling him Luhan instead of the usual Lu. The way he would clench his hand as if stopping himself from reaching out and holding Luhan's hand as he asked that question. The way his eyes looked so guarded and wary. Luhan hated everything. But what he hates the most is the way he would flinch every time Minseok will forget that he can't touch Luhan like before. There's nothing he hates the most than his own self.

 

He gave a lazy smile to Minseok's direction and that was the entirety of their lunchbreak conversation.

 

~*~

 

That afternoon, as Luhan stood next to Minseok's locker waiting for him to finish up his class so they can leave together, a boy approached his position and gave him a questioning look before proceeding to his destination. As it appears, the boy's target is none other than Minseok's locker and slipping a small note inside it. It infuriates him how everyone are still trying to get Minseok for themselves but as he is right now, he has no claim over him whatsoever. 

 

He had finally decided that he couldn't make Minseok wait this long. A lot of people will just continue to bother him if he doesn't start rejecting or - as Chen says - starts accepting the confessions. They need to have this talk and he needs to set Minseok free. It's not right to keep Minseok to himself when he can't even take care of him. He can't keep Minseok prisoner by using his feelings and his guilt over lying to Luhan all these years. He can't do that to him anymore. He needs to end this so they can both move on and get on with their lives.

 

A few minutes later, he can make out Chen, Yixing and Minseok's figures from the distance. Yixing had decided to wait for them right outside their classroom while Luhan opted to wait near the lockers. Minseok looked so relax speaking with Yixing and Chen but as soon as he saw Luhan his expression suddenly became guarded and his shoulders instantly tensed. It just made Luhan's resolve stronger. He needed to free Minseok.

 

"Minseok. Are you free?" he asked as soon as the three were near. Minseok gave him a wary glance, eyeing his locker that was just beside where Luhan is standing. He sent an unasked favor from Luhan to move away so he can retrieve his things from the small compartment. Luhan released a sigh before moving a few steps away.

 

"I'm free... Do you want to talk now?" he asked, not meeting Luhan's eyes but his shoulders remained tense.

 

"Yeah... let's do that." Luhan smiled but even he can feel that it's strained. Everything about them had been strained and awkward and it's suffocating.

 

"Might these unnoticed audience ask where this long-awaited talk will take place?"

 

Luhan and Minseok looked to their side at the same time, only now realizing that they have totally forgotten that they have other company beside each other. Chen was giving them an amused grin while Yixing was just standing quietly behind the younger twin. 

 

The twins realizing that the two had forgotten that they had a question hanging between them further elaborated what the question meant.

 

"Minseok-hyung's cousin, Heechul-seonsaeng will be home in less than an hour. Lu-ge's place will need a train ride." Yixing laid out for them.

 

"You can't scream at each other, or cry or confess or whatever in a restaurant. Ah hah what are you supposed to do?" Chen grinned and put in much emphasis into his words.

 

Luhan and Minseok looked at each other, understanding the problem the twins have explained and they both mentally sighed. Luhan was starting to think of other options when Yixing casually handed him a set of keys.

 

"Ah, Chen. I think I forgot where I put our house keys. Maybe Lu-ge can help us look for them?"

 

"Yeah. You guys can message us if you find our house keys. We'll just be around our classmate's place. Maybe we misplaced the keys there." Chen added.

 

Before the both of them can thank the twins, they were already waving back at them and leaving them alone.

 

"Why am I friends with them again?" Luhan asked.

 

"Cause they're one of the nicest people around." Minseok answered casually, a normal exchange between them finally.

 

"Yeah. You're right." A real smile finally found its way on Luhan's face.

 

~*~

 

"You were so afraid of our male teacher back then that I couldn't tell you that I was a boy as well. A lot of people had already mistook me for a girl because of my long hair, but you looked really happy playing with me."

 

Luhan can remember what Minseok was talking about. It was true that he was honestly terrified of their male teacher back when they first met and almost all the boys in class was trying to be his friend. But at that time was when the heights of his fears towards erts are at its peak and he can't really interact with the male population normally. It was his luck that he found this quiet girl smiling at him, which was Minseok.

 

"I wanted to tell you but you were totally avoiding the other boys. You don't want them touching you and you can't really play with the others. I was scared that you will stop playing with me too if you find out."

 

Thinking about it, he had been a difficult kid and Minseok was his only friend. He was so thankful to Minseok about it, but now knowing that his friend had made all these sacrifices for him made him feel more thankful than ever.

 

"Then I... I started liking you. And I have been so afraid of you hating me for it. I was so scared that you will stop being my friend if you find out. That you will hate me and avoid me. I was selfish. I liked that I was the only boy that you ever touched. That can stand so close to you. I liked it so much and I'm so sorry." 

 

Minseok's voice was starting to break and Luhan wanted to comfort him. To take his hand, to hug him and rub soothing circles onto his back but his stupid phobia is getting in the way. The only thing he can do is to comfort him with his words.

 

"Minseok. It's okay. If there is anyone who should apologize, it's me. I pushed you to do it."

 

"No! I did it because I was selfish!"

 

"Minseok, please listen to me." he begged. He couldn't take it that Minseok is trying to claim fault to everything when they obviously both contributed to this. "I'm thankful, that you did this to remain as my friend. I would've been alone otherwise. I can't exactly blame you now for lying because what you said is true. I might've stopped playing with you and we might not have became friends if I knew that you were a guy."

 

"But I liked you! As something more than a friend!' Minseok said, as if it was a grave mistake to develop feelings like this for someone and Luhan mentally flinched at the thought. Both because a guy was liking him and the thought that Minseok loves him back. It was a complicated set of emotions he can't very well sort out for now.

 

"I like you, too. That is if you can still remember my lame confession." Luhan said, a chuckle naturally bubbling up from inside him. 

 

Minseok smiled at the thought. They were talking normally. The awkwardness was disappearing and their walls are slowly crumbling. This is okay. They can be friends again. They can only be friends again.

 

"Thanks, Luhan."

 

"Stop that." Luhan cut in.

 

"Stop what?"

 

"Stop calling me Luhan. It feels like we're strangers or something." he complained. He was expecting Minseok to just smile and agree but all Minseok did was give him a soft glance as he shook his head.

 

"I'm sorry. Can you allow me that? I need it to remind myself that I can't fall for you anymore. I won't try to touch you, or get closer to you than more than necessary. I will keep my distance like all your other friends. I won't consider myself as someone special in your life anymore." Minseok said in that broken tone. "I will stay as your friend forever."

 

Luhan felt his heart break hearing that from Minseok. It felt worse than receiving a rejection. True, he had all the intention to tell Minseok that they should just be friends because what he wanted was to free Minseok from him. But now that he's hearing it directly from Minseok, it felt more like he's hurting him more.

 

"Are you going to fall in love with someone else?" Luhan asked, but now that he had voiced out the question, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer to that.

 

Minseok released a shaky breath. "...I honestly don't know. I mean I've been in love with you for the past... I don't know... seven years?"

 

It was Luhan's turn to release a shaky breath. He wasn't supposed to speak his mind but his own voice was betraying him. "I wanted to let you go. I wanted to tell you to find someone else, someone who can hold you and hug you and kiss you. Someone who can sit next to you. Someone who can freaking hold your hand when you need it. I wanted to tell you that but I ing can't say it! I want you to stay in love with me! I want to be the one to be next to you when you need it! I want to be the one to hold you and hug you and kiss you! I want to be that someone Minseok..." Luhan heaved, he can feel his shoulders shaking with the outburst. "I wanted to be that someone but right now I can't! I can't even touch the tips of your fingers much less hug you or kiss you. But I can't even imagine you being in someone else's arms. I loved you for too long for that to change in just this one week. My ing heart is ignoring the fact that you're a guy! But my ing body is minding it so much! I can't ing ---"

 

A sharp flick to his forehead halted him from his self debate over himself and he glanced up at Minseok's guilty face just in time to see him withdrawing his right hand and hiding it behind his back.

 

"I.. I'm sorry. I just moved out of reflex. I'm so sorry. You were cursing a lot and I'm really sorry."

 

Luhan's look softened and he can finally speak in a normal tone again. "I wanted you to flick my forehead whenever I will start cursing again. I want to put my arm around your shoulder again without it being awkward or hard for the both of us. I want it to be like that but I know it will take a long time before I can even touch the tips of your fingers. I can't make you stay with me for that long. It will be unfair for you. I can't make you wait that long. It will be selfish of me to do that."

 

"Lu."

 

The familiar nickname made him search Minseok's eyes and all he saw was happiness. "I have been selfish for ten years, I think it's only fair that I give you time to be selfish, too."

 

"What do you mean?" Luhan asked, keeping his eyes on Minseok's.

 

"What I mean is..." Minseok approached again and grabbed the ends of Luhan's long sleeve shirt, "I'm willing to hold your sleeves like this until you can hold my hand. I'm willing to yell at you when you start cursing until I can flick your forehead again. I will make do with words of comfort until you can hug me." Minseok smiled that wonderful smile before saying the rest of his words. "I will be satisfied with an "I love you" until you can give me a kiss."

 

The hair on Luhan's arms are standing on ends with the close proximity but he can  take this much, for now. "I will need a lot of practice."

 

"And I will be here to help you." Minseok smiled wider at him and Luhan can't find it in him to regret the way their conversation went. He was just happy. "Just don't take ten years before you can touch the tips of my fingers." Minseok joked.

 

"I wont! I mean I want to kiss you and touch you and have with ---"

 

They both turned beet red that very instant and Luhan internally cursed. It appears to be that his mouth-to-brain filter was broken beyond repair at the moment and he just wanted to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment.

 

"Can we pretend I didn't say that?"

 

"I'll pretend I didn't hear it."

 

~*~

 

"I won't! I mean I want to kiss you and touch you and have with ---"

 

"CHEN! For the love of god! Stop it!" Luhan screamed his lungs out at the maniacally laughing figure across him. He couldn't believe the twins left a recorder in their house. No. He should've known it but at that time, he was so stressed about his talk with Minseok to even consider why they so kindly offered their home to be the place where they talk.

 

Chen had been replaying that clip whenever he gets the chance and Luhan never fails to blow his fuse. Yixing being equally guilty as Chen couldn't really get mad at Luhan for going ballistic every time the particular clip is played.

 

"Oh come on Lu-ge! This is gold! Aren't you glad we have everything on tape? We can document your love story like this!" Chen emphasized before replaying the clip again.

 

"I won't! I mean I want to kiss you and touch you and have with ---"

 

"CHEN!" 

 

Chen had started running away from Luhan's reach while Yixing who's holding a laugh excused himself to get a glass of water even if an entire glass full is sitting on his tray.

 

Meanwhile, Minseok was just quietly going a bright shade of red next to Luhan and despeartely fanning at his face to maybe return the color of his face.

 

"Why am I friends with them again?" Luhan asked Minseok as he sank back on his seat.

 

"... honestly, I don't even know why I'm friends with them either."

 

------------------------------------

Excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I haven't beta this yet.

Akira: I have held off the ending for so long and I'm very sorry for that. I hope the ending was worth the long wait TT^TT 

 

Subscribes and Upvotes are very much appreciated but I hope you will leave me Comments :) *hugs and kisses to all those who stayed witth me in this story*

 

P.S. Do you want an Epilogue for White Lies?

 

If you want to chew me out or be friends or anything, follow me or message me on my twitter account *hugs and kisses to all that i'll meet on twitter* @Natsumae026