After dinner, Hank and Floss invited us to sit with them downstairs around the fire. I thought they had more trash to burn, but was pleasantly surprised when Hank lit a fire using actual logs from a dead tree Taeyeon had cut down earlier in the day.

“So, Jessica,” Hank began, “What’d you think of dinner?”

I smiled. “It was…interesting. When Taeyeon said we were having pie for dinner, I thought I’d died and went to heaven.”

“I didn’t say pie, I said Frito pie. You have selective hearing,” Taeyeon said.

The memory of Floss slicing down the side of a grab bag of corn chips, then adding canned chili, grated cheese, and diced onions was comical. Taeyeon had handed me a spoon and the meal-in-a-bag and said, “Don’t make that face. Try it. You’ll see.” He’s lucky I’m adventurous, and I’m lucky it tasted better than it looked.

“I’ll never look at a bag of Fritos the same way,” I told them.

Floss reached into a paper bag she had brought with her from the house. “Ready for dessert?”

“Is it pie?” I asked, making them chuckle.

“Roasted marshmallows,” Floss said, turning her attention to her husband. “Hank, we need some utensils.”

“I’m on it,” he responded.

Hank walked around, his eyes searching the ground, until he found four long, thin branches. He returned to his chair, flipped open his pocketknife, and scraped the bark off the end of each stick. Then he passed them out.

Taeyeon put a large marshmallow on the end of my stick for me. “You know how to do it?”

“Is there a trick to it?”

“Depends on how you want it. Slightly warm or scorching hot?”

I leaned toward him and whispered, “Are we still talking about marshmallows?”

He grinned as he turned his marshmallow in the flame, caught it on fire, then brought it to his lips to blow it out. “With you? Somehow I doubt it.”

A while later, Hank and Floss retreated upstairs, leaving Taeyeon and I to finish off the bag of marshmallows.

I held my stick out over the fire and watched the flames the underside until a hot flash caught hold and wilted my marshmallow into a black, boiling blob. Quickly, I vanquished the flame with my breath, but continued to blow on it to cool it down. Taeyeon watched as I pulled the blackened marshmallow off the end of my stick, held it between two fingers, and took a bite. It was hot and gooey on the inside and melted onto my fingers. I the white ooze from my sticky lips.

He watched. He waited. Hell, I think he jotted down mental notes. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Taeyeon asked, uncomfortably readjusting his sitting position.

“Mmmm.” The sound effect was more for him than the marshmallow. “Uh-huh.”

His smile melted me, as if he had skewered me and held me over an open flame. “Keep poking the bear, and one day the bear is going to poke back,” he warned.

“I’m counting on it.”

With a giggle, I rose to throw my stick into the fire and caught a glimpse of something in the back pasture. Hundreds of emerald-green twinkling lights danced around a wooded-themed ballroom made up of shadowy trees and glistening pond algae. I watched in amazement as the uninvited guests danced around the forest floor uninterrupted.

“Ready to go inside?” Taeyeon asked.

“Not yet. Just a few more minutes. I’m watching the fireflies light up the pasture. They’re different from the ones in the Midwest.”

“Southerners usually call them lightning bugs.”

“Well, it comes to my attention your lightning bugs have asses that glow green, whereas our fireflies glow yellow. Strange, huh?”

“I’d rather have your attention elsewhere at the moment.” Taeyeon grabbed my waist and pulled me into his lap.

“Well, well. What brought this on? You’re awfully playful tonight. I should fight with you more often.”

He tightened his grip and rested his head against mine. “I’ve wanted to hold you like this for a while now. Is that all right?”

“Just an observation. I’m not complaining.”

The fire dwindled on its own, though I barely noticed anything other than Taeyeon holding me in his arms, my hair lightly between his fingers. It should’ve been pleasant. It was pleasant. But part of me wanted him to stop, and I didn’t know why. Then it hit me.

My vision blurred, misting over with sorrow. I turned my head away to keep him from seeing the tears, but it was too late. He placed one finger under my chin, gently coaxing my face back to his. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t talk. I didn’t even try to, which worried Taeyeon more. I buried my face into his shoulder. Sobs exploded from my chest, shaking me from the inside out.

Alarmed by my sudden crying jag, Taeyeon’s body tensed under mine. He held me, rubbing my back with gentle, soothing hands. “Jessica…?”

I clutched at his shoulders, holding myself closer, as I got myself under control. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Taeyeon pushed a strand of my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. “Tell me why you’re upset. Is it about earlier?”

If I could’ve folded myself up small enough, I would’ve crawled into his pocket to hide from the embarrassment. I blew out a deep breath. “No. It’s…how you’re holding me. It reminded me of…someone else.”

Hurt and anger flashed in his eyes. “Who?”

“The last man who held me…” I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice even. “He wrapped me in his arms and had these big hands that across the back of my hair…”

“I don’t want to hear about you with some other guy.”

“No, you don’t understand, Taeyeon. He was a grown man, and I was only fourteen.”

“Fourteen? Are you saying he —”

“Oh God, no! Nothing like that. Nothing ual about it.”

Taeyeon was confused. “What, then?”

“He was the policeman who told me my parents died.” A tear squeezed out and rolled down my cheek.

“Jessica—”

“Wait. Let me finish.” I in a deep breath to maintain control of the pressure building in my chest. “That policeman showed me compassion and kindness, letting me cry until I thought I’d die myself. He never asked me to stop, or be brave, or anything else I imagine you’d tell a young girl who had lost her parents. He wrapped his arms around me and didn’t let go. I had no one else, Taeyeon, but he didn’t let go. He promised everything would be okay, and I believed him. Then Child Protective Services showed up and practically tore me from his arms. But no matter what, he wouldn’t let go. Another officer held him down and pried his fingers off my wrists. They shoved me in a car, kicking and screaming. He fought to get to me, but they drove me away.”

“He was a friend of your parents?”

“No.”

“Had you ever met him before?”

“No.”

“Jessica, did you even know his name?”

“No, Taeyeon.”

His eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t understand. Why did he not want to let go? You were strangers.”

I cleared my throat and looked directly into Taeyeon’s eyes. “The night I met you, I felt something. A connection between us.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too. But what does it have to do with—”

“When that policeman came to talk to me, we had an instant connection. I didn’t know what it was at the time. His partner held him down as they yanked me away. He kept telling him ‘She’s not your daughter.’ I remembered hearing about a cop’s daughter who died a few weeks before. She was close to my age, but I don’t believe we went to the same school. Afterward, I knew why he’d reacted the way he did and why I felt connected to him. We both were grieving for the family we’d lost.”

Taeyeon shook his head in disgust. “Just to have him ripped away, too. Jesus. No wonder you have a hard time trusting people.”

“I didn’t want to ever let anybody else get close to me again. Somehow, Yul and Sunny snuck under my radar. Still, I kept them at arm’s length. They asked me to move in with them, but I couldn’t. I’m afraid to let them in, though they’re my best friends. It’s why I couldn’t say good-bye. I can’t stand the thought of losing anybody else, including you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

It was now time to fess up to the embarrassing part, the part I never thought I’d have to explain to anybody. “I know it’s going to sound stupid, but there’s a reason I keep forcing the issue.”

Taeyeon looked at me with an intrigued expression.

“I wanted it to be , and only , between us. Keeps it impersonal, allows me to stay detached, and…”

“Easier to walk away?” Taeyeon guessed.

I nodded. “I don’t sleep with just anyone. In fact, there haven’t been many. I can still count them on one hand,” I said, giving him a weak smile.

Taeyeon smiled back. “That doesn’t matter to me.”

“Well, it matters to me,” I said, sitting up straighter in his lap, with a tight laugh. “I bet you can’t count your partners on one hand.”

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow.

“Two hands?”

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