You blinked a couple of times, trying to gather your brain together. Was this what Jungkook had been talking about? About Namjoon not being the way you remembered him? Sure you thought he’d be different but that he’d actually didn’t know who you were was not something you were prepared for. You coughed. Suga patted your back.

“You’ll have to forgive our little monster over there. Since he’s been here he got a whole new life and he sort of accepted it, and then the memories slowly fade out. But since you’re part of our world now he’ll soon remember you!” He seemed just a little too happy about that. You glanced down at your cup and then back to Namjoon.

“When do you think he’ll remember me..?” You asked, watching Namjoon dig into some cookies. Suga sighed and shrugged, taking the seat beside you.

“As soon as your memories have faded.” You sent him a glare. Suga raised an eyebrow and nudged the tea towards you. “No need to look so angry. I didn’t make the rules. Normally people come to this place to forget about their troubles, why would they want to remember a life that was only sad?”

“I didn’t come here to forget..” You let your words die off and glanced at Namjoon. Suga nodded in response to the words you hadn’t said. Namjoon came here to forget. Was his life that painful? No one had known, you hadn’t noticed it. Maybe he was lonely in school. Maybe he felt pressured to do well all the time? At the same time the wheels in your head started turning. If he came here to forget, maybe he could return to the real world if he remembered? “How can I make him remember?”

Suga almost dropped his teacup and patted his chest, though he wasn’t coughing. He seemed to be choking on air. Once he’d finished catching his breath he sent you a glare, checking to see if Namjoon hadn’t heard what you’d just said.

“He came here to forget about all that. He choose to forget about that, why do you want to make him remember?” He crossed his arms, “what makes you think he would want to go back to where you came from? Isn’t it better for you two to stay here? This is a nice place. This world is good to people like you.”

And yet there was something. You sought for it, a sliver of evidence. There was a reason to bring Namjoon back. After all, you were here because of him. If you came here to bring him back then you had a reason. Then it hit you. For a moment your eyes went wide and you turned to face Suga again. He was tapping his foot at you.

“He said “see you tomorrow” to me, the day before he came here. He wasn’t planning on never seeing me again.” Suga seemed only mildly impressed. He took a sip of his tea and seemed to be avoiding answering you as long as he could, because he kept taking sips until his cup was empty.

“That.. It might just be because you were coming here. He knew you were coming here in your dreams, too.” But his voice sounded dry. You knew Suga himself didn’t believe these words either. You blew against a rebellious strand of hair that was stuck in your face.

“Then why did he say I would see him the next day? He knew what I was going through, and he knew I wasn’t as tired as him during the day. Namjoon was planning on coming to school the next day.” Suga refused to answer you for a while, busying himself with tea and cupcakes. In the meantime Namjoon made his way over, planting a chair between yours and Suga’s.

“You still haven’t told me your name.” His smile was a lot brighter than you remembered, but at the same time it seemed empty. Were you being stupid about this? After all, how well could you possibly have known him in the couple of days before he disappeared? Still you felt like a part of Namjoon was missing here. Maybe this was just a dream version of Namjoon.

You sighed and took the cupcake he offered you, looking over it. Chocolate flavor. Like the chocolate milk he’d given you. You were sure that was still in your schoolbag somewhere. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought and placed it down on your plate. Namjoon seemed to be studying you.

“Do I know you?” He asked cautiously, “I can’t remember your face but I feel like this isn’t the first time I’m seeing you.” Perhaps there was hope after all? You smiled at him and shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m Areum. I’ve been here a couple of times before. Usually Jungkook takes me here.” Maybe that would at least ring a bell with him? Namjoon nodded thoughtfully and glanced at the path leading back to the meadows where Jungkook was. You turned back to look at the path as well. Stupid cat.

“Areum..” He muttered. The bland smile disappeared from his face and he seemed to turn more serious, leaning his head on his hand. “I don’t know.. I feel like I can almost reach it, you know? But it’s just out of my reach.” His fingers clenched into a fist. Then it fell flat on his lap. No use, you thought, he can’t remember. Just then he turned back to you, a strange fire ignited in his eyes.

“But I want to.. I want to remember Areum. It feels like there is something missing inside here. I can’t help but feel like you’re the key to it..” Suddenly he grabbed hold of his temples, groaning. “Headache.. Must have had too much sugar. I’m going to lie down for a bit if you don’t mind.” He got up and staggered. You’d almost jumped up to help him, but Suga was faster than you were.

With one glance back at you, it didn’t seem quite as mad, Suga led Namjoon into his house. It was not very big but you knew that it was bigger on the inside. Did Namjoon live with Suga in his dreams? He’d written things about it in his dream journal. Most of your dreams hadn’t been that domestic.

Several minutes later Suga came back out of his house. Before speaking to you he poured himself another cup of tea and sipped from it. You could read the inner conflict on his face. Finally he placed his cup down, got up and turned to you. He took a deep breath as if to say something, but ended up inhaling and exhaling a couple more times before addressing you.

“So, he’s not doing very well.. I guess.. Maybe you’re right. I just don’t understand. He loves being here, but usually people don’t come to live here when they don’t actually want to, you know? Just like you.. You say you don’t want to forget.. So.. Maybe there is something going on. I don’t know what it is Areum. It doesn’t feel good, and I don’t want my friend to suffer.” He bit his lip and glanced at his table of plenty. Of course, he was Namjoon’s friend. Just because you came here in your dreams didn’t mean that these people weren’t real, did it? They felt real..

“He’ll be better when he remembers everything Suga. Your friend is in those memories. He wrote about you in his dream journal, Suga. I’m sure he wants to remember all the adventures you had. There were so many, right?” You asked. Suga said nothing, but nodded. You could see his shoulders starting to shake.

“I’m not going to take him away, I promise.” You stepped closer to him, gently patting his back, “I know he loves it here. Namjoon just needs to make that choice for himself. No matter what he chooses, he won’t leave his friends behind. You know he won’t, right?” Now Suga was outright sobbing.

Without saying a word he sat down and covered his face. Not a sound came from his lips, but you could see the tears flowing through his fingers. You didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t the Suga you met in your dreams. Then again, this wasn’t the same place you visited in your dreams either. In this world something was off. Maybe restoring Namjoon’s memories wouldn’t fix everything, but it would be a start.

“I-I did this.. Areum.. I did this to my friend.” He choked through his tears. “I gave him this..” His hand trembled as it reached out and picked up a small yellow bottle. Honey Juice potion. Suga sat up and looked at you, not bothering to wipe his tears.

“I gave him this when he came here. I-it’s supposed to give people strength. H-he was so tired but.. N-Namjoon came here more often when I did.. I swear I didn’t mean to make him forget everything..” He swallowed, trying to keep his voice even. “And I gave it to you, too.. I didn’t know it would make him forget.. I’m sorry..”

You wanted to be mad with him for a split second, but when you saw Suga shrivelling up you knew he was sincere. He never meant to hurt anyone with this. Without hesitating for a second you stepped closer to him and pulled him into a gentle hug. As you rubbed his back Suga slowly stopped shaking, eventually wiping his tears. His cheeks flushed red slightly as he stepped back from you.

“Thank you.. If you still want to help Namjoon, I think you should go to the duke. He knows about antidotes. He’s also Namjoon’s friend so I’m sure that he’ll want to help.” He coughed and went through his table, seemingly looking for something. Then he turned the knob on one of his teapots. It gave off a sound that was oddly like an old-fashioned phone call.

“Jimin?” As Suga haphazardly tried to explain things to the man on the other side of the teapot telephone, images of Jimin flashed you by. In your memory he was a fidgety guy who was rather easily spooked and always in a hurry. You mostly recalled the fluffy white ears on his head. Suddenly Suga motioned for you and pointed very hard at the teapot. You approached him with caution.

“So.. Areum.. I called Jimin and he will help you recover Namjoon’s memory, but he’s always been a rules kind of guy. You know?” He looked quite nervous. You crossed your arms. There was probably something you needed to do in return for Jimin.

“Which rules do I have to follow then?” Suga seemed even less comfortable and muttered something so quietly you couldn’t hear it. You coughed and gave him as stern a look as you could.

“You have.. He wants you to accept a new name. Everyone who comes here gets a new name. But you have to be careful! The names are part of forgetting your past and you have to make sure you don’t forget your old name or else you can never return to your own world.” He swallowed once, suddenly looking very tired and a lot older. “I forgot my real name. Now I can’t remember anything.”

Was everyone here someone who had been taken from their world? You tried to think of something to encourage Suga, but couldn’t. Then he smiled once more, picking up a cup of tea and taking a sip from it.

“If you get the chance, please bring me back my name Alice.” He said, before tossing the teacup over his shoulder. Unexpectedly it didn’t shatter into pieces. Instead you only heard a soft thud, as if something covered in wool hit against the earth.

“Now now, Suga, we don’t want any littering!”