Everything grey, everything black and menacing had melted away. It was lulled to sleep by snow fallen in December, frozen by winter winds of January and blizzards of February. Everything that could be detested, everything that was smothering and slowly air out of one’s lungs was crushed into dust and blown away by first spring breezes. The monotone and dull surroundings suddenly were filled with green sprouts, the car noises and human interactions lost to chirping birds. The absolute, pastel green, juicy and soft light coming from fresh bloomed leaves rained upon the streets and even the concrete seemed to be alive. Spring had won over the nothingness of the winter for the first time in years not only in the labyrinth like city but in the endless voids in TaekWoon’s heart and soul as well.

The pitch black abysses he had feared so much had turned into blooming walleys, all colors of the world fighting away the nothingness and his demons. The holes in his heart would take longer to heal, but they were no longer dark menacing places. They were a part of him, a part that stole his voice away whenever he wanted to speak of them, yet even then they weren’t hated, but accepted and loved by the pure light now shining in TaekWoon’s life - HongBin.

His heart sang along with the bird songs coming from the wide open windows, his once empty canyons blooming like daffodils in the sun all from having a single angel in his life. Every night he fell asleep with the celestial being in his arms, his warmth being all he needed, and each morning he woke up to meet two most beautiful eyes greeting him. Each and every day had become bearable - daydreams of their bodies becoming one, their arms holding each other close pushing him through. All returns home were small celebrations and he could swear he had never been happier.

Lazy afternoons filled with small stolen kisses, touches so simple yet more than just skin deep - fingertips dancing on skin whilst playing with strings of one’s heart, creating most beautiful music. The surprising enjoyment of games TaekWoon didn’t know he could ever find captivating; words from books he could never imagine he would touch playing through his ears as the voice he adored read them aloud. The room filling laughter over movies he didn’t even consider watching accompanied with steaming hot mugs of fresh coffee and kisses that made the scolding drink ice cold in comparison. All wrapped in the scent of a summer day right after rain, enveloping TaekWoon in cocoon he didn’t want to leave. He was thrown from torment of nothingness, the spirit-breaking loneliness he didn’t even want to admit to the profusion of everything he thought he had lost forever. The more he received, the more he gave back, the more he knew he wouldn’t be able to have it any other way afterwards. His naive hope had become reality, the angel he subconsciously had waited for, prayed for, was here and a heavenly vision, a dream of happiness had become reality.

Like the prime of summer, that sneaked up on them in blinding rays of sun and heat breaking through the grand window, rays of sun playing in the white feathers where the pink petals of blooming cherries had been stuck in spring, snuck back concerns and fears. A dark corner appeared in the blooming valleys of TaekWoon’s heart the first time he found a feather on the floor. Unlike the blinding vividness from the first meeting, first time he saw the grand white wings on other’s back, it looked not less than dead, ripped away from all that had given it energy and life. Gravely, it wasn’t the last one and probably not the first one either.

More and more of the used to be white, silky wonders appeared here and there. The blinding light that came from within them faded away more and more, and even though they desperately tried to feed on late July sun just like they once did with fireworks, they couldn’t manage. They had become beige grey, the shone they had gone and even though HongBin waved it off as nothing, topic change now becoming his strong point, the darkness grew stronger inside of TaekWoon. He knew every detail about HongBin - each inch of his body he had explored and engraved in his mind and heart for eternity - so each change was too obvious, too painful to see and impossible to ignore.

Along with fading summer more signs that disturbed TaekWoon appeared - from the shining stars fading in his gaze, to his skin losing the light healthy glow it possessed. Above all HongBin began to have naps. At first they were mostly taken when TaekWoon was at work, but soon they slipped into morning hours around the time the raven hair woke up or on weekends. HongBin almost too desperately tried to claim it was only taking on a human habit, but how weak and drained the angel had become couldn’t slip past no one. The upcoming autumn promised to be rough, a battle against an enemy TaekWoon didn’t know and HongBin didn’t want to reveal, pleading TaekWoon not to ask.

It must have been something horrible, no other explanation made sense. Why else would the angel so desperately plead and beg for TaekWoon not to ask? Why else would he hold on to the human during the naps as he was afraid he would be torn away from TaekWoon? This enemy, this invisible force, this intruder in the dream they both were living together was most definitely more menacing than any demon - coming from hell on the labyrinth of the city - and regretfully, TaekWoon felt weak against it.

When the fever like attacks began, HongBin’s body shaking like the this year around dull, mud yellow leaves on the darkening branches of the trees, TaekWoon no longer allowed it to be waved off. The green valleys within him had withered and each day had come from a summer idyll to autumn anxiety.

“I think it’s because I haven’t been flying for a long time,” HongBin spoke in half whisper, his head resting on TaekWoon’s lap, his body covered with a blanket as much as the wings allowed. He was sleeping more and more each day, but it didn’t seem that it gave any results in the regenerating process he pointed out once. His body was more ware of any breeze, any possible cold and even more than ever before TaekWoon felt helpless. He couldn’t deny it, he couldn’t lie to himself and hide the reality - HongBin was slipping away from him.

TaekWoon didn’t know why or how, but his angel, his sanctuary was fading before his eyes, slipping through his hands like sand and no matter how he would try to hold on to it, it wouldn’t help. The silly winged man he was now holding didn’t tell TaekWoon what was going on for one simple reason - he didn’t want to hurt him,the reality of loss breaking the last bits of dream they still had lingering in the air. But for how long?

TaekWoon gently run his fingers through the brown locks, swallowing back a lump in his throat as he saw a pair of feathers falling on the floor next to the bed. His angel was slowly fading away and he couldn’t do anything. Their shared moments - from a smile to a smirk, from a laugh to a moan - played before TaekWoon’s eyes as the man in his lap yet again began to slowly drift into sleep. A new crack - deeper, darker and more devastating than any from before threatened to open any second and this time there wouldn’t be anyone to fill it in. This time TaekWoon would have no help, no hope and he would allow the dark to consume him.

“Would… would flying help?” TaekWoon stammered out, his voice gone, only a weird echo coming from his lips. His hands shook and he hoped HongBin didn’t notice it.

“Maybe. It’s not like I can test it,” the winged man replied quietly, his voice barely there and TaekWoon could hear his heart cracking in his chest. The sand of ti