“Feby! Wake up now. You are gonna be late. Febrina Prima! You better wake up right now, or else I gonna splash you with a cold water!”

How come my life would be disaster? It like a bomb suddenly attack me and I’m dying right now. Today is my first day going to school after moves out to Seoul. Mom get a job here so we have to followed her. Even if I can stay in Indonesia, mom never allowed me stay by myself. Imagine it. Me? Seoul? How come? I wanna kill myself right now or run away? It not a good idea. Sigh~ it just waste of my energy to protest with my mom. Just follow the flow.

**

Okay Feby, just act normal. Don’t nervous. It simple. Just come in the class, introduce yourself and take a sit. Just act normal!

“Fuhh~ okay I can do it! Fighting!”

“Everyone, today we have a transfer student from Indonesia, please be nice with her.” I can hear the teacher voice from out of the class. Okay, now, it my turn. I take a steps slowly come in to the class. I can see  most of the student not pay attention.

“Hello, I’m Febrina Prima, you can call me Feby. I’m from Indonesia. Please take care of me.”  I try to not make it obvious that I’m nervous right now. After I finished it, they give some applause and continue pay attention to the teacher.

“Because of Feby can’t speak Korean very well, I hope you will take care of her. Now, Feby, you may take a sit at the back.”

“Thank you, Miss”  I walk away to the back where there’s a empty seat. At the back I can saw very well the student.

“Hey Feby, I’m Kim Jiyeon, how nice we can be friend. You look so pretty. Whatever you needed just ask me okay? Please be comfortable.”  I get a respond from a girl who sit in front of me.Then, she gives me a smile before turn back to the teacher. Uh?! Is he sleeping in the middle of learning? I turn to a guy who are in a sweet dream at my right side with his head turn to me. Suddenly the teacher yell that make me wanna scream too because of too surprised.

“Ya Kim Taehyung! Pay attention in my class. If you not interested just leave!”

He slowly open his eyes and look at me. He smile. “Sorry Miss~”

**

It break time now, I suddenly become a statue here. I rather being alone than being than get involve in that crowd. In Seoul the culture is far away different from Indonesia. The girls with their girly fashion also they are truly pretty. But just look at me, you can tell that I’m just a simple girl with no make up. I just don’t like that stuff. I’m also not a talkative person. It just me, who always being alone. In my previous school they give me a nickname “Frost” because of my cold personality.

“Hi Feby. You not going to cafeteria? I’m hungry. Do you wanna join me?” Jiyeon suddenly come towards me.

“It okay, you can go. I’m prefer to be here. I’m not going” I give her an expressionless in my face.

“No!  You must company me. Please or else I would die because of hunger. Let’s go!” she pulled me really hard that I think my hand gonna be cut off.

“Woah~ what the menu today? I hope it’ll be tasty” she really loud.

“You can go, I’ll wait here.” I’m standing waiting Jiyeon buy her meal.

“Let’s go Feby.” Jiyeon pulled me to go at the field. Field? Why field? What have here? What we gonna do here? With the crowds full of female student. And screaming.. My head pain. I hate crowds.

“Feby-ah, do you see the guy in the middle, there. The one who laughing right now.”

“He is our classmate right? The one who sit beside me.”

“Yeah~ handsome right? If you can see right now, all of the crowds here is his fan. He is popular in this school. Ahh~ I’m falling in love with him.”

“Hmm.. okay I understand but why we were here? Can you explain? Why can’t we just back to the classroom?”

“What else? We gonna watch they are playing soccer.”

“Soccer? I’m not interested. You should watch it by yourself. I’m going back to the classroom”

“Hey Feby! Wait!” I heard Jiyeon calling me behind. But suddenly I feel like something hard falling on my head. Buuk!

“Auch! What was that!”

“Feby! Are you alright?”

I feels my head could breaks and my brain will fall out. Spinning~ I can guess, there is a star surrounding on my head now. It really painful, I wanna pass out. Who are really moron throw the ball here? And it hit at my head? A ball? How…?

“Feby, are you alright? You look awful. Let me take you to the teacher for treatment. It so bad.” Yeah, you should. I could die right now. It really pain, I can’t even stand up. At there, all student just looking at me, they are not even help me at all. Glad I have Jiyeon. I should thank her.

She brought me to the treatment room for me to rest. But just for a moment. Then she left me alone because of the schedule class. I have an excuse for skip today. I’m lying down with ice on my head.

**

“Dad! Don’t leave me dad!” I’m crying to see my dad leaving with anger. Why? Why he left his family? Doesn’t he love his family?

~~

“Hey! Madam you should pay you husband debt! Or else we have to kill your daughter!” I saw my mom kneeling so they can release my sister who still 9 months years old. I’m hiding behind the cupboard, watching and listening to the situation. I couldn’t stand with my mom tears every night. Since then, I always take care of my sister, Sarah. I’m the one who always do the house work. While mom, worked every day to pay the debt. I can’t stand with this life. I hate my father! He abandoned us and left us with those trashy debt. A useless father. Never appeared since he left me when I’m still 4 years old. How could he? I’m crying every time I see my mom and Sarah. I’m suffering because of him. From now on, I can’t believe any other man. Because of him, I fear of falling in love…