I stepped into the bungalow. The grains of sand were still there on my feet; I brushed them off before entering. The weather was hotter than I had thought and my skin had become tanned quickly. Thank God it didn’t burn. I took off my shades and cap, putting them on the table as I walked to the kitchen. On the kitchen bar, I saw the little red light on the telephone was blinking – which meant voicemail. Who would have known that I was living in—oh.

Him.

Who else? He’s the one who reserved the bungalow for me,. Of course he knew I was here. Two voice mails, the screen displayed. I pressed the ‘play’ button on the phone.

Hey my Baby-Bae, how is your holiday? I bet it’s fun staying there, right? Bali is just wonderful, isn’t it? I remember that I went there with Joonyoung and it was incredible! You should go to the club also, that one near Kuta, but I forgot the name. I will text you the name of the club and please, party hard. You know… I miss you already but I can’t see you. How about we meet in Singapore? I have a meeting there…

Beep.

I pressed the end button on the phone without listening till the end, and I ignored the second voice mail. Keep the bull for yourself. I stared at the yellow icon at the corner of my smartphone screen. Kakao Talk.

I touched the icon and read the sender’s name. It’s him again.

Baby-Bae~ xoxoxo

Baby-Bae, you’re so busy enjoying the beach, huh? I just want to hear your voice~

Can’t you send me a voicemail or a video of you at beach?

Baby-Bae

Baby-Bae

Baby-Bae

Baby-Bae

Baby-Bae love you so much I could die. Can’t wait to see you in Singapore!

I booked it for you Bali-Singapore and we could fly to Busan after that. Together!

After the last text, I found that he sent me a video. He started the video with a pouting mouth, as if he wanted to kiss me. Then he walked farther away from the camera and waved to me.

“Baby-Bae! Here I was eating the kimchi jjigae you made for me and I’ve been exercising! You’re right, my abs is disappearing while yours is still the same as before. Just wait, if we meet again, you could feel the hard abs of mine and… You know, the other hard thing…” he smirked coyly. “If you know what I mean.”

Then it ended. The video froze at the sight of him pouting his lips. The lips that I knew by heart –the softness, the redness, the moistness, the thickness, every inch of it. I touched the frozen video right at the pouting lips, but the video was replayed instead. This time, I didn’t care what he was saying. Rather, I focused on how his lips were moving.

His lips still made my heart skip a beat… but then I felt my heart squeezing and thousands thorns pricking it. I held my phone, hoping that the pain in my chest would slowly fade away every time I tightened my grip. But it didn’t work, the pain became stronger and stronger, and soon I couldn’t breathe. My knees couldn’t hold my weight anymore and as I collapsed to the ground, my tears running down my cheeks.

I cried a river that evening.

No matter how often he said he loved me, I couldn’t believe him anymore. My heart was broken and nothing in this world could make it the same as before. I covered my face for a while, trying to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Instead, the tears were streaming down my cheeks. When I wiped the tears with my fingers, I felt a friction against my skin. I saw my hand and realized that something shiny was still on my finger,  reflecting the light.

A diamond ring.

Our symbol of love.

A love that I doubted if it’s still there in our heart.

***

It’s Friday night in summer and he casually picked me up after work. I was stoned when I found him standing in front of the building and holding a bouquet of red roses.

While slowly approaching him, I rubbed my eyes. I just couldn’t believe he had come and brought　my favorite flower – a bouquet of that. It’s usually me who brings him bouquets of flowers, which later withered in the vase at our home without him keeping it. When he saw that I was nearing him, he waved his hands eagerly, making the petals fell down. I chuckled, but then realized that I shouldn’t chuckle.

I was supposed to be mad at him, considering what he had done to me. Some scenarios were in my mind, where I became the antagonist one. Maybe I could take the bouquet then put it to the nearest trash bin. No, it had to be more cruel, Bae. Maybe you could snatch the bouquet, throw it on the ground, and step on it, then leave him without looking back.

But then his hug and the soft peck on my cheek blew the scenarios in my mind. He fixed the hem of my suit and gave me the bouquet while smiling at me.

“You must be tired, Baby-Bae. Let me take　your bag.” He snatched the bag from me. I just complied with his act. Why were you so good to me if this was a lie?

He then put his hand around my hip, led me to walk to the nearest bus station. I stared at the man beside me. He’s slightly taller than me and dyed his hair platinum blonde. A smile always plastered on his face, without fail. Was that just a façade to cover all your lies to me?

“Don’t stare at me like that, Baby-Bae. I may die if you keep staring with those sharp eyes.” He said without looking at me.

I turned my head, focusing my mind again to the pedestrian walk. Realizing that I had a bouquet in my hands, I brought it on my nose and inhaled the refreshing scent.

“You like the red rose, Baby-Bae?” Now he’s observing my face.

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