Two weeks later and Hye Su and Yonghwa were still on a dating high. They were in love and they were deliriously happy.  Yonghwa was back at his music and HyeSu was working from home as a freelance writer, while also continuing her therapy, things were going so well, at least for the time being.

“Blue eyes, you want to go catch a movie later?” Yonghwa asked from the doorway of HyeSu’s office. HyeSu looked up from her computer and turned to look at her boyfriend. She smiled happily and nodded. “Yes. I just have to finish this last little bit of this article and then we will go.”

“Awesome, I gotta make a few phone calls and we will leave in an hour, sound good?” Yonghwa walked over to her and kissed the top of her head.

“Yes.” Hye Su went back to work and Yonghwa left the room. HyeSu worked at typing up the rest of her article and as she did, her phone buzzed with a text message. Hye Su grabbed her phone and looked down.

HyeSu, it’s JiYong. Can we talk? Please call me. HyeSu looked at the message and set the phone down then picked it up again. She stared at it for a while going back and forth as to whether or not to call him. Maybe it would be a final bit of closure, she thought. Hye Su’s finger hovered over the call button for a few moments. And before she knew it, against her better judgment, Hye Su was calling JiYong.

 “Hye Su, thank you for calling me.” JIYong said.

“What did you need to talk to me about?” Hye Su said, forcing herself to stay focused on getting the talk over with as quickly as she could.

“Are you better?” JiYong had been concerned since the night of Hye Su’s suicide attempt.

“Much better. Is that all you needed?” Hye Su asked, she was still unaware that he had ever showed up at the hospital. As far as she knew, he had never come.

“Yes. I just needed to know you were ok. That night was like a horror to me Hye Su. I thought for sure I had caused you to do what you did, it breaks my heart that I could hurt you the way I did.” JiYong was truly saddened by the words he had spewed that night and his heart had hurt ever since then.

“Is that why you never came to see me at the hospital.” Hye Su asked. “If you were so concerned how could you not even check on me just once? Here we are a month later and suddenly you care.”

“I did come to the hospital! I was there, but left before I got to see you.”

“What? But, but Yonghwa and MinSeo both said you never showed up. According to them you didn’t even know I had hurt myself.” HyeSu was shocked to hear that JiYong had come to see her, but was confused as to why her two friends would lie to her.

“Ah. So they stuck with that story?” JiYong sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“Hye Su, I came, but when I heard about what happened and realized it was my fault, I left. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore and I didn’t want you to wake up to see someone that had hurt you so bad standing over your bed. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to you, not after the horrible things I had said to you that made you end up there in the first place.” JiYong sighed as Hye Su began to tear up. “Hye Su, I love you, I will always love you, but I realized that night that I was not good for you and no matter how much I loved you, it would never be enough. I left to let you live happily. Of course I thought MinSeo and Yonghwa would at least tell you I was there, but I guess they chose not to.”

“But why, why wouldn’t they tell me?”

“Probably to save you from me. They aren’t exactly my biggest fans ya know? I am sure in their minds, the best thing was to just make it seem like I wasn’t there and I didn’t care. Perhaps it was help you to get the clean break from me you needed. Whatever their reasoning, I am sure they didn’t do it to hurt you but to help you.”

“But they are supposed to be my best friends, how could they lie to me? Even if it was to spare me.” Hye Su went from sad to mad in an instant.

“I don’t know, but listen to me, don’t be angry at them. I know them enough to know they only did what they felt was best.” JiYong’s voice was reassuring. “I don’t plan to come back into your life like I was before, I just wanted to make sure you were ok now. Even after all this, I do care about you, I always will. I have to go.” Hye Su sat silent on her end of the phone attempting to make sense of everything she had just heard from JiYong. JiYong could tell Hye Su was upset. He’d known her long enough to know the truth behind her silence. “Hye Su, listen to me please. I know you a upset, but I know those two, they didn’t do it out of malice. I believe they were trying to be helpful, in their own way.”

“It’s still not ok JiYong, even if it might have hurt me then I would have gotten over it in my therapy, now I have to deal with this lie. How am I supposed to do that?” Hye Su was angry, but also sort of understood the reasoning behind the lie.

“Hye Su, I know you. You will get over it fast. One of the things I love the most about you is your ability to understand others and forgive them. You ooze that, so even if you are upset right now, which is ok, you will work through it and go back to being their friend. And some day, when you are able to you will do that with me too. When you’re ready. It’ll be easier with them, because what they did was far less terrible than what I did, but I know you will be ok in the long run and you will remain their friend.”

Hye Su smiled a bit. She was thankful to hear his voice and thankful that he had come to see her, even if he left. “Jiyong, thank you for calling me. Thank you for explaining your side. I don’t think I can keep talking to you right now. I have far too many wounds and scars from you, but I will always treasure this conversation we had. You are some villain like I could have easily made you out to be. You’re a good person. I hear Yonghwa calling, I better go.”

“Take care of yourself Hye Su. When you’re ready I will be here.” JiYong said smiling on his side of the phone. He finally felt a sense of peace, knowing that Hye Su was safe and healing.  Hye Su said goodbye and hung up her phone. She stood to grab her stuff but then remembered that Yonghwa had lied to her. She was upset because of all people, she never thought he would lie to her, even to protect her. She headed out of her room and walked down the hall to their living room.

“Ready to go blue eyes?” Yonghwa said standing up from the couch to find Hye Su staring at him, blank faced.

“You.”

Yonghwa walked over to Hye Su and looked at her worried. “What’s wrong?”

“You lied to me.” Hye Su pushed Yonghwa’s hands off her arms. “You told me JiYong had never come to the hospital that night.” She backed a bit as Yonghwa’s face became shocked.

“How did you…what are you…did, did JiYong contact you?” Yonghwa felt his heart sink. A little white lie was coming back to haunt him.

“He just called me. He said he was there but left before he got to see me, that he did that for my own good but that he assumed you two would tell me.” Hye Su looked at Yonghwa with red teary eyes. “How could you lie to me Yonghwa? Of all people how could you do that to me?” Hye Su stepped back a little more and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Was it because you wanted me to be with you and not him? Did you lie so you could win me over?”

“No! Absolutely not.” Yonghwa walked towards Hye Su only to have her back up more.

“Stop it, don’t come close to me right now.” Hye Su said, putting out a hand to stop him.

“I did it because I wanted to protect you. I love you, I hate to see you hurting. I read the text you sent MinSeo and then Jiyong explained everything and I made the decision to not tell you he was there. I watched him walk away and that pissed me off so much, because for someone who was supposed to be so in love with you, I didn’t understand why he’d just accept defeat and walk away. I truly thought it was the right decision at that time.” Yonghwa stood defeated as he watched Hye Su cry from her spot that seemed so far from him. In the back of his mind, he prayed that their love and trust in each other would help them overcome this obstacle, but he was scared.  Hye Su looked at Yonghwa and sighed.

“I need a little space, I am gonna go to my room.” Hye Su turned around and headed back to her room. Yonghwa ran his hands through his hair and followed sitting outside her room. He wanted to be with her, but he respected her need for space. As he sat outside her door he repeated loudly enough for her to hear, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Hye Su sat on her bed and listened to the repeated apology of Yonghwa. She knew deep down that he didn’t mean anything by it, but was still hurt nonetheless.

She hugged her legs to her chest and held the teddy bear from Yonghwa. She looked at it a while and then began talking to it. “You didn’t do it to hurt me, right?” She looked at the bear and moved it to make it seem as if it was shaking its head no. “You didn’t do it to win me, right?” Again she took the bear and made it say no. “You did it to protect me because you love me that much, right?” She made the bear nod it’s head yes. “You did it out of love, right?” The bear again nodded it’s head yes. “I know. I know why you did it.” She smiled at the bear and hugged it close to her, causing it to play the recorded voice inside. “Mr Lips loves Blue Eyes so much.” Hye Su’s eyes widened and she squeezed it again. “I love you so much,” it said. Hye Su smiled as she squeezed it over and over again. After a few rounds with the bear, Hye Su stood up and headed towards her door, she opened it slowly to find Yonghwa laying on the floor outside of it, asleep. Hye Su knelt down beside him and carefully moved the hair out of his face. She smiled as she took in his facial features. As she stared YongHwa woke up and saw her looking at him. He sat up and took his hand to caress Hye Su’s cheek.

“Are you still mad?” He asked. Hye Su grabbed Yonghwa’s hand and held it in hers. She smiled and shook her head no. Yonghwa took a sigh of relief and squeezed her hand. “I’m…”

“No, don’t say that. Just listen to me ok?” Hye Su said suddenly interrupting him. Yonghwa looked at her confused, but shut his mouth. “Blue eyes loves Mr Lips so much too.” She smiled then continued. “I understand why you lied to me. I know you did it to protect me and I appreciate that, but please don’t ever do it again, ok?” Yonghwa didn’t speak just nodded his head yes. “I need you to know that I am strong enough to handle things. At that time, even in my suicidal state, I was strong enough and you know why, because you were there with me. In all the times that I was at my weakest you were there with me, loving me so loudly that others would have been deaf. Your love has been my source of strength and it wasn’t until tonight that I realized that. You’ve told me over and over in my life that you would be with me always and that you cared for me deeply. You even multiple times that you loved me, yet I never realized just what you meant by that.” Hye Su scooted close to Yonghwa and smiled widely. “Jung Yonghwa, I love that you know me better than I know myself. I love your facial expressions. I love the way you say my name. I love your smile. I love that you want to talk to me and tell me things and that you want me to tell you things. I love that you protect me, even with white lies. I love that I can count on you. I love that we have been so close for so long and that you have never once left my side. I love the way you get me and allow me to be me. I love that you love me without any conditions. I love that you will put your life on hold to be with me. I love that you saw me at my worst and never once stopped loving me. You’ve loved me so loud for so long that it was almost deafening. At the end of the day, you are the person I want by my side, you are the person I want to have be with me on my darkest days. You are the person I want to tell my fears to, the person I want to smile and laugh with. You are the only person that I could never live without. It’s taken me years to get here and yet you’ve waited. You’ve waited and loved me until I could finally come to this point and look you in the eyes.” Hye Su grabbed Yonghwa’s face in her hands and stared in his eyes. “I love you. I love you so much that I can’t think of anyone else. I love that you are my best friend, my savior, my light. I love you so much, Jung Yonghwa. I love you so so much. Blue eyes loves Mr Lips.” Hye Su smiled then kissed Yonghwa.

Yonghwa had waited 20 years for that moment with Hye Su. To hear her confession of love towards him was incredible. To be kissing the one person that he wanted to kiss every day was perfect. He could hear her love. It was worth the wait, to finally be loved so loudly in return.