Before you lived the life of an idol as Red Velvet's Wendy, you were Son Seungwan and you pretty much lived a relatively ordinary life. Well, kind of.

At the pre-teen tender age of twelve, you moved to North America to study abroad, spending some time in Minnesota for middle school, before going to high school in Toronto, Canada. It was exciting, you don't doubt this, but you were away from your family for two years until you were fourteen and they moved to Canada two years later to be with you.

(You don't realize that this was basically practice for when you're forced to be away from them indefinitely a few years later when you're signed to SM Entertainment.)

You take on the name Wendy Shon during your time in North America, leading the life of a regular teenager. You played sports (golf and soccer); you were an active member of music clubs (show choir); you even dabbled a bit in the theater department (and by dabble, you mean you ended up as the lead in one of the school productions). Your family was practically picture-perfect: a proud mother and father of two daughters who excelled in whatever they did. You won't deny that your family is well-off, though you are modest about it (and very thankful for everything you have). And like any other teen, you had your own insecurities; being a little on the chubby side didn't help with this but people never bothered you about it and you were happy.

Everything was normal.

—

Never in your life would you ever think that your voice would end up being your kryptonite, even if it was an unconscious thought. Your voice was what enabled you to express yourself in ways that simply speaking wouldn't allow because it just didn't cut it; because singing conveyed everything in you — your struggles, your pain, your happiness — it was everything. What would you be without your voice? It's what made you stand out. To the world, you're the tiny girl with the big voice; the girl who performed like a professional with over ten years of experience; the girl who packed her feelings into every lyric that escaped her lips. You and your voice, together you were one.

When it came to singing, you loved it with every fiber of your being.

The way it makes you feel, to lose yourself in the powerful lyrics that told stories and spoke of everything from heartbreak to friendship. It was so special, the feeling, that if someone asked you to explain it, you wouldn't be able to. You just know it was a feeling you always wanted to feel. And when you close your eyes as you imagine an audience in front of you, you sing your own story, putting your emotions into every one.

So when you were seventeen, you decided to audition at Cube Entertainment's Global Auditions in Canada. It took some convincing to get your parents to let you go but eventually you got their permission. You made it to the final round but you didn't make it.

(You look back and wonder if it was a blessing in disguise or a curse in its own right.)

A year later, you never would have thought that 2012 would end up being the start to your big break. SM Entertainment was holding their own global auditions and this time you were a year older, more mature. You auditioned and you passed. The agents told you to pack, that you'll be moving to Korea to begin training. In the midst of your excitement, you forgot that you'd be away from your family again, this time for an indefinite amount of time. You didn't remember this fact until the company's casting agents came to pick you up from your house to depart to the airport and you bid your goodbyes to your family without looking back.

(Your parents thought it was because you were looking towards your future, but you knew, deep down, that if you looked back, you never would've been able to leave.)

—

When the plane landed in Korea, you were awakened by the fact that you haven't stepped foot in the country since you were twelve. There was a lot to catch up on, a lot to learn. But you were determined; this was your start.

The jet lag didn't keep you from waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day — your first day of training. You met the other trainees, some who might become your band mates one day (that is, if you would even debut but you didn't let this insecurity sway you). And without knowing it, you really did meet your future band mates:

Kang Seulgi, a '94-liner like you ("Hey! We're only born eleven days apart!") who resembled a teddy bear but had the stage charisma of a true performer. She was a long-time trainee, having been in the company for five years so far, in contrast to your one day there.

Park Sooyoung, a young trainee about five months prior to your entrance. (Despite her age, she towered you by at least three inches which didn't seem like much until those three inches became five and that's when you really started to feel short.)

Kim Yerim, an even younger girl who, age wise, was five years your junior but was your senior in the company. (Oh, the irony.)

And finally, Bae Joohyun, one of the oldest, if not the oldest, of the female trainees. She stood out to you with her quiet demeanor and goddess-like beauty and you never doubted that God took his time with her.

—

You ended up training for only two years before debuting, and you thank your voice for allowing you the luck of only having a short training period compared to others. So when the dance instructor held you and Sooyoung back from your dance lesson one day, you were confused. She led you both to one of the many conference rooms, where Joohyun and Seulgi were already waiting. It turned out that the company was preparing a new girl group — and the four of you were going to be the members. A smile never left your face that day and many tears were shed among the other three, especially Joohyun and Seulgi, who held onto each other, sobbing tears of joy knowing that their years of self-doubt and exhaustion were over. The four of you were finally going to debut. Things couldn't get any better after that day.

—

If you had to be honest, you knew how messy your debut was. It was in the midst of multiple scandals within the company, which made all the negative attention pour onto your new group, named Red Velvet (which, unfortunately, got caught in a scandal as well). Netizens were commenting left and right, calling the group a cover-up to distract the attention away from the lawsuits the company was facing. But the four of you were determined to not your chances go to waste — you trained hard for this; you all did.

The days leading up to your debut were a blur, yet somehow you remember every detail. The nervousness you felt, the eagerness, the butterflies in your stomach, the worry of the group’s success, the late nights spent wide awake when you should’ve been sleeping for your upcoming schedules — you felt and experienced it all, but not alone, thankfully, for you had three other pairs of hands to keep you grounded and reassured.

One pair, specifically, never left your side, always entwined in yours.

But you were too busy dealing with all of your emotions to notice.

—

On the hot summer day of August 1, 2014, you stood, clad in your casual attire but with a large sign bearing your name pinned to your shirt, before the large platform as different staff and crew managers set up the stage — your debut stage. You could feel the eyes of some fans already seated in the audience, ears perking up when the familiar sound of African beats sound from the speakers, the sound manager doing a test run of the background track.

You close your eyes and let the feeling settle in you. That feeling of being at the broadcasting center, like many senior artists before you, getting ready for their own performances, when this would only be your first. For a moment, it’s only you and the music, a song of happiness flowing through you.

But then a hand slides into yours, warm and familiar.

Your moment is not broken, but rather, it simply gets a new addition and you welcome it with open arms.

—

You smile widely throughout your very first official performance, a derpy expression showing here and there if one caught it.

Your members laugh at this when the four of you watch the performance again for monitoring, or learning purposes as the company would put it. Body cringing at your slip up, you frown at how expressive you were, brain sure that it wasn’t what the media instructors meant when they said to express the lyrics with your face.

And then you feel a weight on your shoulders and a soft laugh, so you turn slightly to see Joohyun resting one hand and her head on you, smiling that gummy smile that made you smile too.

Maybe being expressive wasn’t such a bad thing.

(You later see the memes of you on Twitter and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how amazing your fans are.)

—

You meant it completely and wholeheartedly when you said electricity would flow through you with one touch from Joohyun. It confused, yet amazed you, how someone could have that affect. How she could press her fingers into the small of your back and you could feel the tension slipping away. It worries you how desperate you sometimes feel when she’s not near, not by your side like she always so often is, clinging onto you like a koala to a tree (a very short tree). For someone who loves skinship so much, you wonder why she picked you out of the whole group to stick by.

After all, Joohyun knew Seulgi the longest. Sooyoung was the youngest and the youngest always deserves the most care. (Later, when Yerim comes along, you know for sure the girl deserved it, especially.)

So why you?

Your thoughts dissipate the moment her hands find its way into yours again like it’s meant to.

It’s always your hand that you want her to hold most, because then you don’t feel like falling.

But even if you did, you knew she’d catch you.

—

Joohyun’s touch was like magic. Others would probably awe at this. (Sooyoung would just gag.)

You didn’t care; it was true.

It was reassurance in a physical form. If you could find a way to bottle the magic, you would. But then you shake your head at this because you never want to take the magic away from Joohyun.

It wouldn’t be fair.

It wouldn’t be the same.

—

“When I said I’d give all my love to you, I meant it, you know.”

Joohyun rests her head on your shoulders, sighing in content. You nod at her comment, but your eyes are focused on her hand entwined in yours. Like it always is.

Like it’s meant to be.

A/N: Ah~ I finally finished! I didn't feel like writing my essay so I thought of finishing this! I hope it met your expectations and I'm sorry if it didn't. I'm also sorry for the long wait. But thank you for the support you've shown both to me and the story. Please continue supporting the girls and all of their endeavors. See you next time! I have some new stuff coming out! Be sure to check it out! This has been fox914, signing off!