The guys managed to keep Jackson so by chance nothing had been broken, burnt, or flooded. I cooked and we talked about everything and anything... Well, Jackson mostly talked about himself, himself, and himself, but we get used to it, after a while. I didn't talk to Bambam and Mark but could feel insistent glares on me and saw all the not fluctuating attempts of seduction from the younger on the older.

I said another time goodbye to my friends and closed the door with relief. I went to the kitchen to do the dishes, sure that I wouldn't do it tomorrow.

I just finished and turned around to go to my room. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Mark in front of me, leaning on the kitchen counter, probably waiting for me to finish my duty. I put a hand on my heart, under the shock, and exclaimed:

“God, Mark! Don't scare me like this! You could have at least told me you were here! Since where are you there?”

“I dunno, fifteen minutes?” he answered.

“Fifteen minutes?! Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because I wanted to see you acting normally.”

I frowned.

“I mean...” he continued, “I feel like all you do is calculated. You try not to do too much, not to show what you really think, you don't want Bambam to get hurt or something, and to show Jackson he's right on whatever he's right. Will I really know you someday?”

I sighed, knowing it was true.

“It's not like I'm like this with only you. I'm like this with everybody, sometimes even with myself, but how did you notice? You examine me all day long or something?” I asked, joking.

He shrugged his shoulders.

“I like watching beautiful things.” He simply said.

Oh my God... I coughed slightly and turned my head to hide my blushing.

“That's it!” He exclaimed.

I frowned and gave him a confused look.

“That is what I was talking about. Each time you're embarrassed by something you cough and hide it, acting like you didn't hear anything! Act more naturally, for God's sake!”

“Oh yeah? And how exactly do you want me to do that?!”

“Don't do anything! Just let yourself be and you'll be even more honest, trust me.”

I frowned again and glared at him furiously.

“Yes! That's it!” he said with relief.

I rolled my eyes.

“You know, some people don't like to show their feelings to everybody.” I replied.

“It's not what I ask. I don't even ask you anything, it's just an advice! When you're with somebody and in a little group, just be yourself. Or else, you'll get dumped again and again... Boys or girls.”

I opened wide eyes, cheeks as red as tomatoes, but didn't have the time to say a single thing that he had left, probably making his way to his bedroom.

I sighed and collapsed on the couch. I thought of this discussion a bit more and finally took my phone to call someone. I didn't have to wait much for the interlocutor to answer.

“Hello?” the voice said.

“JB...” I just replied.

He hesitated a bit but eventually answered:

“Come, I'm waiting for you.”

That was always the same thing. He acted like he hesitated but always accepted to let me come and take refuge at his home. We always did it when I needed some advices or when I felt down, needing my best friend's presence. I opened the window and exited the flat before closing it behind me. Why did I not use the door? Because JB lives only two floors upper and it was faster than the elevator. I forgot to tell you he lived in the same building as me? Well, now I did.

I wasn't afraid to meet the neighbors between our floors cause they were used to it since we were doing it for two years now. I opened my friend's window and entered the apartment to make my way to his bedroom where I know he was waiting for me. When he saw me come inside his room he lifted his blanket for me to come with him in his bed, which I did. I rested my head on his torso and he wrapped his arms around me. He stayed a moment like this, wordlessly.

My relationship with JB was different than the others. We knew each other since forever and there was more than friendship between us. We were more like a chosen family and I cherished this.

I decided to break the silence:

“Is that a problem that I hide what I really feel?” I asked.

“Why do you only ask it now?”

I put my head in the crook of his neck.

“Someone has reflected me on it”

“Is that someone Mark?”

I didn't answer and he sighed.

“What did he say?”

“That he wished I could be more honest.”

“And you'll change just for him? Like this? Although we were like this since forever?”

I blushed.

“No, not just for him. It's just... He said if I continued this way, nobody would want to be with me. Boys or girls, he added.”

He sighed.

“I won't lie to you, nobody likes someone whom seems “false”... Well, I can't really help you with this cause I don't really know this “false JinYoung” since I know you by heart. But...

'Cause there's a “but”...

“I think,” he began, “that when it begins to be serious you get scared and hide behind something that isn't your real self.”

I frowned but he placed a hand on my mouth.

“No, Jin', it's been a long time since I wanted to say this to you. You've never had a serious relationship and I think that's because of it. Each time you realize it's going too far you run away and end up all alone. I wanted you to find out by yourself but I don't want you to screw up things with Mark... So I'm gonna tell you something, between best buddies. To be sincere with the others, you gotta be sincere with yourself first.”

I looked at him, confused.

“You gotta admit the fact that you're gay.”

I opened wide eyes and removed myself from his embrace.

“I'm not!”

He sighed and lifted himself on his elbows to face me.

“That was exactly what I was talking about.”

I frowned and was about to make my way back to my apartment but he grabbed my wrist. I sighed and gave up, sitting on the bed again. I know I'm not gay. I let him continue.

“First, you don't have any gentle movements with your girlfriends. A little kiss in the morning, another one to say goodbye or when they asked for, no holding hands, no cuddles, you see them mostly in public places and you don't have or rarely. Is that normal for a normally constituted young man? I don't think so.”

I blushed. Well, that wasn't false... What was wrong with that?! Okay, I didn't like cuddling. But that doesn't mean anything!

“It's not my fault if I don't like cuddling, you know?”

“Fine. But in that case can you tell me what we were doing a few minutes ago? I'll tell you, Jin'. We were cuddling.”

I made a scowled face.

“And so what? You're my best friend, it's not the same thing. And you weren't complaining, by the way...”

“I didn't say I was complaining. But the difference, sir, is that I am gay.”

“Oh, yeah... That's true. Fine! I like cuddling with you and not with my girlfriends BUT I do not agree with the “” thing! It's not because I'm not a obsessed that that means I'm gay!”

“Come on, Jin'... Straight after your first time you broke with the girl and came at me almost crying, horrified by what you just did.”

I blushed at the memory.

“I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk of it anymore!”

I sighed, disappointed.

“Look, JB... I swear I'm not gay. Maybe I do not feel so much desire for women, but I do not desire men either!”

He frowned, annoyed, and he almost scared me with his glare. Perhaps I should have realized what was going on and run away so I could have escaped from him. I didn't even have the time to react that he tackled me on the bed and sat on my pelvis. Why do I feel like it's going to take a wrong turn...?

He imprisoned my wrists beside my head and my breath sped up.

“Jae'...? What are you doing? You're scaring me...”

“You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you... I'm just helping you realize something.”

I opened wide eyes as he rubbed his... his... his thing on mine. What the hell is going on?! He released the pressure on my wrists and freed me as his hands made their way under my shirt to my pectorals. I shivered and my face flushed with embarrassment. I didn't know what to think of, my mind confused by my best friend's gestures. My brain just left me when he bent down and put his lips on mine. Two guys a day it's too much.

Something inside of me shouted to push him away but another to let him do whatever he was doing... I chose the way of easiness and kissed him back as he continued to caress my torso. I froze when I felt his hands making their way downer. Many thought crossed my mind at this moment, as “please continue” or “Oh my God” but one of them was stronger.

I opened wide and pushed my friend away with all my strength, surprising him, as I shouted:

“Okay! Stop it, I admit it, fine? I. AM. GAY. So please stop it.”

He had a surprised look.

“Already? It was easier than I thought, you aren't saying it just for me to stop it, right?”

Tears were making their way to my eyes and I buried my face in my hands to hide it.

JB put his in my back to take me in his arms.

“Hey, I wasn't going to do it all the way, you know? Don't cry...”

I shook my head in negation and lifted my head up to look at him in the eyes.

“That's not it, Jae'...” I began, “I thought... I thought...”

I sighed with frustration and buried my face in his torso.

He slowly passed a hand in my hair and waited. I breathed in and continue.

“When you were... caressing me, I first thought it was good but... then a part of me was telling me that I only should do it... with Mark.” I said with embarrassment.

I felt like my head was going to explode with embarrassment.

He burst out laughing and collapsed on the bed, still holding me in his arms.

“It was about time! Problem resolved! Tomorrow you'll see Mark and confess to him so that you could live happily together and have many babies!”

I sighed.

“We're both men, JB, so we can't have any babies... And by the way, it's not that simple.”

“Of course it is!”

“Of course it's not!”

“Why?!”

I sighed and played with the tip of my shirt.

“Because, JB...”

“It has something to do with your discussion with Bambam.”

It wasn't a question.

I told him all that happened during my talk with Bambam. He sighed when I finished.

“Don't tell me you're going to throw Mark away because of Kunpimook. Please.”

I did a sulking face.

“That's not what I said... Just, I feel a bit guilty to Bambam when I'm with Mark. Put yourself in his shoes!”

“And so what? You're going to forbid yourself to be in a relationship with someone you like because of him? I'm gonna tell you something: Bam'll be rejected even if you don't do anything.”

“You don't know!”

“Yes I do! You're the only one who's blind.”

“Still, that's not the only reason...”

“How's that?”

“Well... I might have made a bet with Jackson.”

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You made a bet with Jackson-stupid-Wang?”

I nodded.

“And may I know the terms of the bet?”

“He bet that Mark and I will be together in less than six months, I bet the contrary.”

“What the Hell was going on in your silly mind to bet something this stupid?!”

“I was pretty sure I wasn't gay, you know?”

He stared a moment at me and sighed.

“Fine. Tomorrow, before seeing Mark, you'll call Jackson and tell him he has won the freaking bet. Problem resolved.”

“What?! No way! I'm not becoming his slave for a month!”

“You should've think about it twice.”

“No, I told you. At worst, I'll just have to wait six month. It's not that long.”

“I could've told you the same thing, but unfortunately I'm pretty pissed off of the or whatever it is between the two of you. One day you're practically glued to each other, and the other you argue and you come and squat my home.”

“Hey, you said you didn't complain!”

“And I'm not complaining. But six months!”

I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“Whatever, it's not like I am in love with him or anything. It's only lust for the moment, so I think I can handle. I'll see how much longer I can bear and if I'm beginning to feel something more – which, between us, I don't think will happen – I'll tell Jackson and ask him to review the terms of the contract. I can wait.”

He sighed.

I stood up and went to his wardrobe.

“I'm borrowing a pajama.”

“Mmmh...”

During the shower I thought of all that just happened. And God... I kissed JB. We almost did more. I blushed at the memory. I never thought that would happen one day. Not that it was disgusting or else... It's just weird, I think.

When I got out of the bathroom JB was already asleep. I smiled and went to bed with him. As I lied down he took me in his arms so that my back was against his torso, still sleeping, as if it was natural.

Tomorrow will be a long day.

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I do not own the gif.

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Hi everyone ! Here's the fourth chapter ! AGAIN many things happened, right ? I'm sorry, I promise that it'll calm down in two or three chapters :3 

By the way,

Thanks to all my suscribers and upvotes ! You guys make me so happy for my first fanfiction *go hide herself with embarrasment*

Don't forget to comment what you thought of this chapter !

(And welcome to the new readers ! Feel free to suscribe and upvote :D)