Oh baby, we both know the truth
If it were the real me and you,
This wouldn't be the right thing to do

Now the room is all hazy, we're too lost in the fumes
I feel like it's just me and you,
Yeah we got nothing to lose

Even if it's moving too fast,
Baby, we should take it too far

Will you take me to nirvana?
I don't think this will last
But you're here in my arms
 

It was through a haze that I first noticed his eyes. Their darkness seemed oddly grounded in the surrounding chaos. Probably a false impression. Because we were all sharing a joint, preceded and followed by countless. None of us was their usual self anymore and it made me feel secure somehow.

Just a friend of a friend, that’s what he was at the time. I didn’t even know his full name, just what he was called by the people in the room. And the room was full of thick fog and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. His eyes were truly mesmerising. And his thick lips. The way they folded as he sometimes whispered into his friend’s ear.

But we weren’t that ed yet. So I pretended to be sober and followed the lazy conversation about people I didn’t really know.

But I couldn’t keep my hooded eyes off him. I remembered telling my friend just a day ago that there is no such thing as natural beauty as she was whining about her puffy cheeks in front of the mirror by the bed. How wrong I had been. Never had I thought someone could look that beautiful. There was some unbearable coolness about him, which just made me want him to lean towards me.

I decided to go and find something to eat. The haze made everything so slow and after a long inspection of cupboards I concluded that the only food that would be manageable to make at this moment would be popcorn.

I leaned on the wall and closed my eyes, the hum of the microwave leading me into a slight trance. So the moment I opened my eyes to a soft sigh and the breath-taking face of my newest infatuation, I wasn’t sure if maybe I was just dreaming.

I don’t think we have met before. His voice was breathy and lazy. It sent shivers down my spine.

It was then that the popcorn started popping and I remember feeling like it really meant something now, this moment we were sharing.

Meaningless words spilled from our lips while our eyes were fixed. We were both searching for something. Something, anything. I wasn’t sure if he felt the tension too or if it was just me.

The popcorn was ready and I put another one in as I assumed that others were just as hungry.

Strands of his dark hair danced around his face as he moved and came to rest leaning on my shoulder.

I hope you don’t mind. I just want to be close to someone right now. His voice was barely a whisper against my skin.

No, I didn’t mind at all. I brushed through his hair as an answer. It was soft like silk and I felt like falling. So I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweet scent, intoxicated.

We took the popcorn to the living room, but this time we sat down next to each other. The conversation was dying. He lied down on the ground with his head on my lap and my fingers were drawn to the bare skin on his shoulder. They danced around as our eyes locked, everything becoming still in the haze surrounding us. I felt his fingertips on my face as he was pulling me closer. And I was falling, falling.

*

What are we actually doing? His voice is muffled by the skin of my neck.

I don’t know. His hair smells like citrus. Does it matter?

I don’t know. He turns to look at me and I get lost in his eyes. For once they are not red or hooded. He looks beautiful. I tell him that and he intertwines his fingers with mine.

And then his lips are on mine and I’m falling. He pushes me back on the bed and lies of top of me. He brings our interlaced hands above my head and I feel breathless.

His every bite makes breath hitch in my throat. His every kiss on my neck makes me whisper out things I hadn’t planned to say. His every touch leaves goose bumps on my skin although I’ve never felt this hot in my life. It’s almost unbearable.

I don’t know what love is. The words fall into silence.

Me neither. His breath is hot. Does it matter?

Will you take me to nirvana?
I don't think this will last
But you're here in my arms