HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And I'm very sorry for not updating for three months. I actually had to rewrite this chapter three times, because I was never satisfied with the outcome. I don't know when I will have time to write the next one as exams are coming up, but let's stay hopeful!

Also thank you everyone for the comments, they really help a lot and gave me strength to continue. Knowing that there are people out there who are curious about my story makes me really happy! <3

About the news of Running Man and these two loves, I'm very saddaned, but even that can't make me stop writing. I love SpartAce, even if RM ends. I have other SpartAce fic ideas as well, but only after this one is over. :)

Anyway. 9th is here, hope you enjoy!

Day emerged into night, Moon stole the place of the Sun, stars blinked on the violet coloured sky here and there. Little touches of orange painted the sides of skyscrapers in the distance. The warm sunbeams her cheeks, while the flower scented breeze combed a stray lock of black hair behind her ears.

And she just stood there, her hands in her jacket pockets, her black facemask pushed down to her chin revealing her , makeupless face. A sigh escaped her lips as her eyes closed down. The weather was so nice today. Her previous fatigue almost disappeared as she got out of her van and stopped in front of her block of flats. She was so devastated, though not physically this time, but emotionally. She spent the past one or two weeks filming her drama day and night, which was fun, she enjoyed the challenges of the job, her co-stars were all very friendly, but when she wasn’t on set, she practically had time only to sleep. Almost all the time she was among people, yet felt somehow lonely.

She took out her phone from her bag and stared at the black unlocked screen, her reflection meeting her eyes. Without a second thought, she searched up Dong Wook’s number in her phone. The actor was busy nowadays with a new drama of his as well, but she still hoped they could talk, or maybe meet up. She suddenly was desperate for human connection of any form. The line was off though. His phone was probably turned off. With a sigh, Ji Hyo made her way to the front door when her phone suddenly started to vibrate. Curious, she held it up and saw a new message on KakaoTalk. It came from Kwang Soo. He sent her a picture of his hand holding a portion of ice cream – probably strawberry flavoured, since it was pink – and he also added "A new place opened in my area, had to try out. Here, have some, noona."

Ji Hyo smiled at the picture and chuckled a little. She was touched that the maknae thought of her.

"I’m jelous! It must’ve been nice. Eat up!" she replied.

She slid the phone to her pocket, but soon it started to ring. Bewildered she stopped in her tracks again, almost reaching the front door to check her phone.

"Wow, you answered right away!" Came the male voice from the other end of the line.

"Well, good evening to you too" smiled the woman, heading towards the building again. "You called to tell me that?" She nodded to the receptionist in greeting and made her way to the elevators.

"No, I was just surprised" replied Kwang Soo. "You finished filming for today? Kind of early, huh?"

Her dongsaeng knew well enough that filming can last up until dawn sometimes, especially if they had to shoot night scenes. She just sighed in agreement. "Yes. You could say that. It was only eight hours today. I counted the breaks in too."

"Are you tired?" he asked, his tone slightly nonchalant. She could tell he was doing something else too, while on the phone. Was it work? Or something just to pass the time? Maybe the latter if he had time to go to eat ice cream.

"Hm" she got out of the elevator on her floor. Stopping before her door, she leaned her back on the wall, glancing down at her feet. "Not that much."

"That’s uh- that’s good." There was something off in his voice, Ji Hyo could tell. He was just really not there in mind, but still wanted to talk. Was he lonely too, desperate to hear human voice?

Oh wait, what day was it? She held the phone away from her ears and looked at the date bewildered. She counted a bit in her head and realized what might have been the cause of her dongsaengs low mood.

"Kwang Soo-yah… how… how was your date?" She didn’t want to be too straightforward in case it teared up wounds, their maknae was quite unlucky with women. She remembered that two days before he had a rendezvous with a friend of a friend, just his type. Young, short, cute, with long dark hair, fringe, doe eyes, even humorous. She was an actress, but barely got even supporting roles in dramas, she still have things to learn, but had a good heart. This was what he told her before their meet up.

The silence at the other end of the phone was a good enough answer. He’s still single. It ended before it even could’ve started.

"I’m sorry, Kwang Soo-yah" she murmured.

"I was so sure this time, noona… I thought…" He practically whispered, not having the power to talk any louder than that, or else he would start crying. The tears might have started falling by now, and Ji Hyo had the unbearable urge to hug him.

"It will be okay, Kwang Soo-yah, I promise" She told him in a soothing voice, the best she could muster. "You have the warmest heart. Just be patient."

"It’s easy for you" replied the man in a bitter tone. She heard glass bumping in the distance, then a little pause before he spoke up again, sounding a little breathless. "Men are practically lining up for you."

"What man would leave his woman alone like this…"

She quickly squeezed her eyes shut in order to get that memory out of her mind. Right… men.

Kwang Soo is quite unlucky and isn’t able to keep kind girls. Ji Hyo is unlucky because she cant keep the bad boy away. The are a hell of a pair.

"Kwang Soo-yah" she said and opened her eyes. "Have you been drinking?" She was sure of it. Their maknae had the habit of becoming impulsive after rejections and turning to unhealthy coping strategies, like drinking too much. It didn’t last long, after a few days he would be back to normal – or at least was able to act like it -, but that first few days… Ji Hyo was always worried about him.

"Just a bit" the man replied after a pregnant few seconds.

"How much?" She asked trying to sound neutral, but there was some edge in her voice.

"I’m an adult, mom" the replied chuckling.

"Lee Kwang Soo" Ji Hyo warned him.

"Ah, geez, okay" he sighed. "Why so serious… Just one bottle, okay? One bottle of soju. I didn’t even had more in my house. So I went out to get more and passed by that cute little ice cream shop I told you about on my way back. I had to try it out…"

Ji Hyo pulled the phone away from her ears for a little while. Her eyes wandered off to the empty floor. The dull sound of the elevator moving up and down, and the noise of the TV in someone’s apartment entered her ears, but nothing else. Life looked still, such contrast to the turmoil in her own mind and Kwang Soo’s heart.

She held the phone up again, and with her other hand she started to massage her nose bride. She felt the stress building up in her system.

"Don’t drink too much, okay? Leave some for your noona, too."

"Who?" Asked Kwang Soo, his voice sounding genuine.

"Me" Answered Ji Hyo slightly annoyed. "I’m going to your house and I will drink with you. So leave some for me."

"Ah, you don’t have to…" Ji Hyo quickly interrupted him.

"I’m going."

Before she could even enter her own home, she made her way back to the elevators, ready to go to Kwang Soo’s place as soon as possible.

"How about you buy some beer on your way here?" Asked the giraffe and Ji Hyo ended the phone call in an instant.

"Yah, this kid" She sighed.

She could have called someone, anyone who lives near to their giant, or has more free time. But she wanted to go. She felt somehow selfish, but she needed Kwang Soo’s company, too, even if she denied it. It would be a great distraction.

~*~

Soft ash fell from the tip of his cigarette. He watched nonchalantly as it reached the ground a second later dissolving to nothingness on the concrete.

"Don’t even start" Dong Hoon warned his friend without even looking up. He knew Jong Kook was coming. He recognized his heavy, but even steps. Besides, the muscular man was always punctual, it was about time for him to arrive.

"I wouldn’t" chuckled Jong Kook, pretending to be hurt by even the assumption.

"Yes, you would" smiled Dong Hoon and turned his head to look at him, inhaling more smoke then exhaling it. "Nagging is your favourite game. But I don’t want to hear it now."

"Yah, Dong Hoon-ah" sighed the man and stood next to the shorty, leaning on the wall of the restaurant too. "If you can’t quit your unhealthy and potentionally deadly habit, that’s none of my business."

A quiet swear left his lips along with the smoke.

Jong Kook just laughed it off. A small bickering was harmless.

"Let’s go in" told him Dong Hoon, after throwing the cigarette into the bin. Jong Kook followed him silently, as they entered the restaurant. The smell of oil, spices and alcohol entered his nostrils right away, he gulped down some saliva.

These foods might be a bit unhealthy, but smelled damn good regardless.

They made their way to the back of the restaurant to a small, separated room where Dong Hoon would bring his friends and his employees would share a few drinks after work every once in a while.

Jong Kook sat down on one of the pillows and rested his right elbow on the table. Dong Hoon joined him shortly with a bottle of beer in one hand and a mineral water in the other. Jong Kook took the water and drank the half of it in two big gulps while Haha only opened his beer.

"What?" the muscular man asked with a smile on his face.

"Nothing" After getting a taste of his beer, Dong Hoon spoke up. "How was your interview today?"

Jong Kook took his time answering, but in the end admitted the sad truth. "Boring like hell. I like the buzz around Turbo again, but the questions are always the same. ’How does it feel to be back to the industry as an idol again?’ and stuff like that. Just like in the nineties… You would think they would be more creative after twenty years…"

Dong Hoon just smiled at his complaining and drank his beer.

Jong Kook told him more about his days, then Dong Hoon shared stories about his son and the hours flew by quickly. However there was a certain moment, when they were out of words. The silence wasn’t awkward at all, thoughts just washed over them. Dong Hoon watched his friend as he let his guard down – even without the help of alcohol -, his face revealing his true emotions. Jong Kook furrowed his brows, nails knocking lightly on the table. He was nervous, but Dong Hoon knew all too well it wasn’t because of some amateur interviewer.

The memory of a night one and a half week ago came to his mind. They went out drinking too, but not just the two of them. Suk Jin, Ji Hyo and Kwang Soo joined them too, the latter two became stoned quickly, making himself and the tiger having to take care of them. Dong Hoon was no fool, he knew something was going on. Ji Hyo behaved in a weird manner and Jong Kook was protective of her, more so than other times.

When their taxi cab arrived and the actress climbed into the backseat, Jong Kook grabbed the elbow of the reggae singer, a bit more harshly than he intended.

"The hell…?"Dong Hoon looked back at him using a tone he would never use in a sober state. He quickly regained his composure and shaked his head to get the anger out of his mind.

"Sorry" told him Jong Kook in a barely audible tone. "I just wanted to ask you to…" The second part of his sentence just seemed overly sentimental in his mind, it took him several seconds to get himself and really say it aloud. "Just take care of her, okay? Be gentle."

Dong Hoon looked deeply in his eyes, then smiled at his hyung, knowing.

"That sounded funny" he chuckled. "You are talking as if we will spend the night together." Jong Kook blushed lightly. "Did you forget" the short man patted his arm lightly a few times. "I’m already married, and a father of a son. I’m Dream’s father, hyung. I can’t cheat. Not that I would."

"Aigoo, don’t twist my words" sighed the Jong Kook. "Take care of her. Just be nice."

"When am I rude?" asked Dong Hoon seriously despite his drunken state. "It’s our Ji Hyo. Of course I will be nice to her."

Jong Kook just nodded, averting his gaze. Why did he even assume that Haha would treat her bad? Everyone adored the actress, they treated her like family, a daughter or sister they never had. He glanced at the woman who was already asleep in the back seat, eyes closed. Ji Hyo wrapped her arms around herself, maybe she was just cold, but she just looked somehow vulnerable. The man watched her intetnly with a pathetic look on his face, meanwhile Dong Hoon eyed the man intently, a gentle smile appearing on his lips. "I will make sure she sleeps well in her bed" He told the other man and patted his arm gently again. "You take care of that dummy too" refering to Kwang Soo in Jong Kook’s car, in a similarly unconscious state.

"Of course" Jong Kook nodded, and they parted their ways. 

Dong Hoon sat down next to Ji Hyo and glanced at her face, still, but tense. He told the adress to the driver, then looked at his hyung’s car. There was something he didn’t knew, but Jong Kook’s response to this occurence was more telling. At least, about himself. He turned his head back to his female friend and sighed. „Jong Kook will be ruined.”

He had that look on his face again.

"Hyung" he said, his tone low. Jong Kook glanced up at him, his face returning to neutral. He took another sip of his beer as if it would gave him courage and asked. "What do you think about Ji Hyo."

The other man lifter his eyebrows and opened his mouth to answer, but at first no words left his lips. "About Ji Hyo? In what sense?"

"Any sense" told him Dong Hoon and drank a bit again, almost emptying his bottle.

"She is a dear friend. A family member. Like she is for all of us." He replied without much thinking. "But why are you asking that?"

"General curiosity." He said briefly then finished his beer. He stood up to go and get another one, but Jong Kook stopped him with his words before he would be able to exit the room.

"Is there something I don’t know?" started the muscular man. "Dong Hoon-ah" he urged him, because he hated talking to people’s backs. "That was kind of sudden." The reggae singer turned his head, face not betraying any feeling he had. "You asked specifically about Ji Hyo, why." It was a question, but his tone sounded more like a statement, demanding.

"Ahh, jinjaaa…" sighed Dong Hoon and left the room. Jong Kook almos stood up to follow him, but decided to stay on his rear and wait. The shorty came back soon, with another beer in hand. His pace was unbearable slow as he walked back to his place and sat down, taking his time opening the bottle and drinking a bit.

After five minutes of silence, Jong Kook burst. "Will you tell me what was that?"

Dong Hoon looked him in the eyes, orbs dark, deep. "I’m just worried." he answered, almost not loud enough for his friend to hear.

Jong Kook straightened his back and eyed him suspiciously. "What? Why?" Before his dongsaeng could even spoke up, he started shaking his head. "Wait, you think I’m… oh, god, this again. We talked about this already. Ji Hyo is just a friend."

"You had many ’friends’" said Dong Hoon. "I just don’t want you to get hurt."

Jong Kook was speachless. Years ago, he sat down with his friend and had this exact same conversation. Dong Hoon thought there was something going on between them because he behaved almost too comfortable around the actress, more comfortably than around any women. But then again, on the show, they all grew close, just because she was a woman and he was straight, of course it didn’t mean something had to be between them… But then Dong Hoon never brought it up again. The next week Ji Hyo dropped the news about his new boyfriend, Baek Chang Joo.

Baek Chang Joo… He looked at the bottle of water in his hand.

"Why again, why now?" He asked. "Is it because of last week?" Dong Hoon didn’t reply, but he knew he was right.

He sighed. How could he out Ji Hyo, when all he’d got about this whole issue were suspicions as well?

"Dong Hoon-ah… you misunderstood it…" He said, averting his gaze. No, he wasn’t nervous. He was full of rage. Rage he didn’t want to direct to Dong Hoon, or anyone, but that one person who was responsible for Ji Hyo’s present state. She put on a strong mask, but regardless, he knew the truth, he saw the real Ji Hyo underneath. She was no damsel in distress, not in need of anyone saving her. No, he wasn’t about to save her like a prince in shining armor either. He just wanted to make that man suffer for ever laying his hands on her.

"Hyung, you don’t have to be a…" Started Dong Hoon again, but his friend’s words quickly made him stop.

"I’m not in love, Dong Hoon-ah…" He looked up, eyes burning with more fury than ever. "I’m angry."

~*~

Empty bottles, glasses, snack bags and potato chips crumbs littered the tables and ground. Ji Hyo stood by the window and glanced out to the skyscrapers illuminated by the moon and army of street lamps. In the background the low sound of the radio was responsible trying to get their thoughts elsewhere. It, at the least, was helpful for Kwang Soo. He spent the last ten minutes singing along to songs while lying on the ground with his limbs spread out. It was better then the one hour he spent crying on her shoulder. Not that she minded it, but Ji Hyo was really regretful of the fact that she couldn’t really do much to help him. She was just there. Drank one bottle of soju then stopped herself. She had work to do next morning. In fact, Kwang Soo too, though it was his last concern.

She glanced at the maknae and a bitter smile appeared on her lips. He was so admirable. Despite multiple rejections, he always looked ahead and tried again. After every one of them, he his wounds, but soon get himself together and looked for another girl, worthy of his attention and love.

Her love was never rejected, however she had to turn down boys through her life. She doesn’t know what does it feels like, but suddenly, she was afraid of it, nervous even.

She thought about Jong Kook. She never imagined what would be like to confess her feelings for him as she never wanted to do so. But now, as her feelings grew stronger and stronger with every day passing by, she imagined unintentionally his response. It seemed unlikely of him returning her love. He didn’t see her as a woman, more like a sister. She imagined him rejecting her.

How would she react? Would she cry like Kwang Soo? Drank enough bottles of alcohol to pass out? Would she feel anything at all?

Her arms circled her body and she looked out the window again.

She practically could see his sad face. He hated hurting others. He would be so regretful about it, that he wouldn’t even know how should he behave in front her after that. Their relationship would change, rapidly.

A sigh escaped her lips. She stepped to the table and reached for her glass and finished it off, one-shot. Even though her glass was still half full with beer.

Kwang Soo stopped singing – or more like mumbling – and looked at her, brushing the stray drops off her chin with the back of her hand.

"What’s your reason?" he asked, his words slurred, almost ununderstandable.

Ji Hyo furrowed her brows. "Pardon?"

"I drank today, because my love life is a total failure. But whats your reason?"

"I wanted to save you a headache." replied the woman and sat down.

Kwang Soo sat up and looked her deeply in the eyes. "That’s bull." He swore without the blink of an eye.

Ji Hyo was quite surprised, not really knowing what to say.

"You look sad. I don’t like that" Kwang Soo murmured.

She smiled at his honesty and reached out to caress his face lightly. "You have a tender heart. But let noona take care of you now, okay?" She got up and made her way towards the kitchen. "I will get you some water."

She opened the counter and looked through the fridge to find mineral water, spilling the content to a glass. Halfway through though her hands started to tremble and she had to put the bottle down. She took a few deep breaths and looked up to stop the tears from even forming.

"Not now…"

She willed herself to continue and go back to Kwang Soo. She had to help him. He needed it, she didn’t. It was not the right time.

Puting a neutral expression on her face, she grabbed the glass and went back. Kwang Soo was lying on the ground again, singing along to a song. She made him sit up and helped to finish off the water. "Good boy, drink up" she told him smiling a little. "You don’t want a horrible hungover tomorrow, right?"

"No" he shook his head and give her back the empty glass. She brushed her hand through his hair, like a mother would do to her son.

"Good. I will bring another glass. You should stay well hydrated."

She stood up and her heels. The maknae mumbled a ’thank you’ after her, but she didn’t turn back. Couldn’t. Little drops of water flashed on her cheeks illuminated by the faint moonlight. Filling up his glass again, her left hand covered in order to muffle her silent sobs. The plastic bottle cracked loudly under the pressure of her fingers, so she put it down. Glancing back over her shoulder, she looked at the moon. The reflection of the orb appeared in her eyes, her tears glinting like falling stars on her pale skin.