Hi there! New chapter is up, hope you like it. Maybe the length of it makes up for the delay. It’s actually the second longest chapter after the sixth one.

Also don't know why I didn't do it before, but if you are the type of person to listen to music while reading then I highly recommend the And July mini album by Heize for this chapter. The vibe matches the one I tried to creat in this chapter.

Earthy smell entered her nosetrills. As cars passed by, their tires scattered water from the puddles on the side of the road, nearly wetting her skinny jeans. The rain stopped around an hour ago, but it still gave her the perfect excuse to cover up her body with a big, hooded raincoat and baseball cap, pulled all the way down into her face. She glanced around. Nobody really payed attention to her. Her eyes get caught on the door next to her so she hurriedly looked away.

She tapped the single cigarette inside her jacket pocket. No, she didn’t want to light it up. She actually didn’t even have a lighter for the record. But for an anxious moment the thought ran through her mind whether if it helped her at all. The famous calming effect of smoking reached her as well, since many friends of hers, even her Running Man co-stars, shared that addiction. And god, she needed to calm down right now. She needed something becuase just standing there on the street hiding behind her white facemask, simple baseball cap and baggy jacket didn’t help. She made sure not to cause any stir by hiding every part of her body that would gave away her true identity. Looking unattracktive helped a lot as always. But being noticed by Dispatch was her least concern.

The woman looked down and pulled her hand out glancing at the cigarette resting on her palm. Her skin looked sickeningly white, almost similar to the paper the tobacco was wrapped up in. She actually felt phisically sick on the verge of throwing up. Standing next to smelly and dirty trash bin in this case was honestly intentional.

She pulled out her phone from her other pocket and looked at the time desplayed on the screen.

One hour and seventeen minutes. Seventyseven minutes. That is how much time had passed since she got out of the cab in Anyang and stopped right in front of his house not daring to enter. Even though she knew the code and he always told them to come over whenever they had time and he was at home too – and this time he was practically the prisoner of his apartment -, but she couldn’t find the strength to go in. Partly she hoped if she waited long enough, it would be too late to disturb him and she had to go home afterall. Though it was still very early for that thinking and she didn’t really wanted milling around there for any more hours feeling all anxious and on edge.

She was dead tired for that.

No, she was tired in general.

She needed more rest than the averange people daily to function well and the events of the past two weeks didn’t help much with that. During the day she was occupied with work, but at night her thoughts didn’t leave her alone and she spent at least six hours out of eigth thiking about her troubles instead of sleeping despite being drained.

In the distance the sound of ambulance sirens entered her ears. Glancing up she saw it approaching fast and when the vehicle passed her, the noise grew deafening for her sensitive state. Insomnia did some interesting things to her. Everything was just too damn loud, blidingly light and irritating for her body, tearing her skin. The image of red and blue lights burnt into her retina. She squeezed her eyelids thight, but still couldn’t shut the sight completely out.

The ambulance.

Paramedics rushing around the vehicle and urging people to move away. The patient can’t breath like that, they said. Please, everyone step back! They kneeled down next to him and checked his vitals and asked questions. He was able to answer them well-detailed, though in short, brief sentences. It’s a good sign, they said.

One of them got the gurney out of the car and helped him stand up on his good leg and get onto it. She saw him sitting on the gurney looking puzzled but still in pain. He glanced around the people gathered at the back of the ambulance and mumbled something she couldn’t hear. Don’t worry about that! Get well soon! someone said. He probably said sorry that he couldn’t continue filming, Ji Hyo concluded.

Ji Hyo opened her eyes. The ambulance was already far far away, out of her hearing range. She glanced around the street and the soft looking puddles, not really searching for anything. She shivered, the cold started to creep right through to her bones now, but she didn’t care about that. Her mind was elsewhere drifting off to another scene.

She didn’t remember much after he fell, honestly. It was a weird haze of people and voices around her. Someone said that according to the paramedics he didn’t broke his leg, but they were worried about toring the ligament and renewing older injuries. The production halted and soon she found herself pushed into a car. Someone asked if she wanted to visit him in the hospital. They all agreed to go. She did too. Who’s van was it, she didn’t have any idea. But not soon enough thanks to the heavy traffic they arrived to the hospital and asked about him. The doctors were still examining him, a nurse said. The boys let out a frustrated sigh. She glanced from face to face, lost. She didn’t understood the sentences even though they were in korean.

She felt…

Weird.

Out of space.

They were in the waiting room then. Ji Hyo couldn’t recall how they got there, but at one point she saw Kwang Soo crouching down in front of her with sad eyes and pulled a white surgical mask to her face, the same type he – and apparently the others too – wore. A vain attempt to cover up their faces somehow. Standing up the maknae patted her shoulders and sat down on her other side as one spot was already taken by Gary.

"It sure takes long" the young man tried to small talk with her, exept she wasn’t the right parter for that. She couldn’t even utter one word, let alone whole sentenses.

She knew it would happen. Not like this and not today, but she expected it. Weeks ago Jong Kook complaied a lot about ankle pains too after a highly physical race. She knew at some point the man would strain his body bad enough to end up with a bigger injury, but rushing to the hospital was beyong anything she could imagine. And it left her speechless.

"It " muttered Gary on her left. "He is in the middle of his Turbo comeback."

Turbo?

Ji Hyo turned her head towards the rapper and frowned.

"That is what makes you worried?" she asked in a low tone speaking for the first time in hours. "His comeback?"

"I’m worried about his health too of course" added Gary in defence, looking a bit annoyed that she would even think of such a thing about him. "But how could I not think about his activities too? He worked damn hard for that comeback and waited years. And this could ruin that."

 She huffed, not really believing what she just heard. Who cares about that now? Yes, it’s unfortunate and could be bad for his career. But the thought that he was constantly in pain but still pushed himself on a day to day basis until he practically broke his body was more important than any of that. More important than Running Man or Turbo even if these were things Jong Kook loved. His career or his life? It’s not the same.  

The actress was about to get into an argument about that topic when a nurse aproached with some papers in her hand. Jae Suk stood up instantly the others following him soon and he spoke to the nurse in a hushed tone to protect both Jong Kook and their privacy.

Ji Hyo remembered how happy she was when the nurse told them that it was a sprained ankle and he didn’t tore his ligaments completely. Combined with a slight bruise to his side from the fall he still have to rest for at least two weeks, but he should be fine if he takes care of himself. Yes, the nurse nodded, he can go home anytime he wants. Smiling from ear to ear under the mask Ji Hyo and the other members followed the nurse to the private room of their friend. She remembered seeing the man even with a cast on his left leg made her just so happy. His somewhat weary but genuine smile gave her strength.

"What are you doing here. You shouldn’t have come." he said in a light tone after the door was closed.

"You dummy" scolded him Jae Suk practically toring off the face mask of his ears. "Don’t ever do that again. You scared the hell out of us."

All six of them took their places on either side of his bed and started talking about how worried they were and how glad they are that he didn’t broke anything to say the least. Ji Hyo on the other hand stayed silent again, only staring at the man exhausted. Seeing him up close was enough.

But it seemed like the others noticed her behavioud and wanted her to express her feelings more properly. Dong Hoon who stood next to her nudged her and turned to his hyung in midsentence. "Right, Ji Hyo? Tell him how stupid he was. Tell him how upset you were too!"

Opening her lips she tried to come up with something proper, but it was a hard task. How could she tell him or any of them that? She was beyond upset! More than a friend should be which is not the right thing to express in that moment. Her reaction was totally improfessional. And she hated that. Looking at the muscular man’s face, she blushed in embarassment.

Jong Kook didn’t seem to notice her obvious puzzlement and after a small chuckle he spoke up. "I bet she was."

"All of us were" added Jae Suk. She turned to the comedian and saw alert in his eyes which she didn’t understand then, but made perfect sense a mere minute later. While she was out mentally, the other members were discussing a lot of things. Among many was her behaviour.

"Yes, but she was a mess" grinned Kwang Soo. "You should be touched, Hyung, by how worried she looked. She wouldn’t speak us for hours and would only stare ahead."

Uncomfortable thrill ran through her body and turned to Jong Kook. She really didn’t want him to know. He watched their maknae speaking with a frown.

"Kwang Soo-yah" started speaking Jae Suk again trying to come up with something to avert the topic to somewhere else, but the one thing he didn’t expect was Suk Jin to blurt out the truth in the next moment. Well, truth for Ji Hyo and himself, a mere joke for the others.

"No wonder she likes you." The oldest member said laughing wholeheartedly.

Everyone glanced surprised either at the grinning Suk Jin or the confused Ji Hyo.

"Will you stop?" told him Jae Suk while hitting the older male playfully on the shoulder. "Don’t just talk stuff as you please!"

"Why? What’s wrong?" asked the older one rubbing the sore spot with his hand, looking dumbfounded.

"Stop it" murmured Ji Hyo looking annoyed.

Sometimes she thought about what would it be like to be more comfortable with Jong Kook. To be able to confess. But others blurting it out in front of everyone as something to joke about, something unbelievable for them that may never happen just made her heart ache.

"Ah, seriously" shook his head Suk Jin. "You don’t have to be so worked up!"

Jong Kook glanced around looking a little bit puzzled. His friends seemed to laugh it off as nothing, but he thought the comment was weird. The way Jae Suk glanced at Ji Hyo right away and how the actress blushed instantly, raised red flags in his mind. What was going on? Her faced betrayed no emotion, but Jong Kook could see her through. Something was off about her behaviour.

An hour later when the six friends decided they would go home and leave Jong Kook to his mother’s care, who was on her way to the hospital to tend to his maknae son, Ji Hyo stayed in the room, while the others left still laughing at a horrible joke Kwang Soo just said and not really paying attention to their female friend.

Ji Hyo closed the door, then turned around slowly, biting down on her lower lip. Jong Kook arched and eyebrow questioningly.

"About what Suk Jin oppa said eariler…" she started, but her voice betrayed her. She took a step closer, eyes glued to the ground.

"Yes, Ji Hyo?" the muscular man urged her kindly.

"I…" she glanced up, gaping. His eyes radiated understanding, but they were somehow empty, cold. No excitement could be found there. "I don’t…" she blurted out, after all. Upon seeing Jong Kook’s frown, she corrected herself. "I don’t want this to be awkward."

The man eyed her for a moment, then nodded with a smile. "That’s okay. Suk Jin hyung was just joking. I get that."

"Right…" she showed her best smile.

Something broke in her then. She heard it, felt it, saw it. The pain was tactile. The funny thing about it was that at the same time, her smile only grew wider as if nothing happened.

"So, are we okay then?" Her voice seemed completely normal to her ears. As her whole self split in half, one in charge of not giving away the other one’s feelings, while the other one was drowning deeper and deeper in emotions she never knew could exist.

"Of course" he continued and patted lightly on her lower arm. "It’s good we discuss it, but it’s nothing to worry about. You are a really dear friend for me and I don’t want things to get awkward either."

She nodded, flashing a huge grin. "I bet you don’t need another dating scandal, right?" Jong Kook just chuckled at that and Ji Hyo soon waved at him and told her greetings. The others were waiting for her already.

She left urgently and ran after the boys, getting her face mask, sun glasses and baseball cap on, grateful that they also hid the hurt on her face.

You are a really dear friend…

He doesn’t like you.

She could really say it was anything new, but it still broke her heart regardless. It was the first time the topic came up between them, even if it wasn’t intended, and up until now at least she had some hopes. She wasn’t delusional, but helding onto silly dreams felt so good.

That is why she wanted to gave up on him. There was no chance for the two of them.

The boys asked about her when she reached the parking lot. Her manager was already there.

"Where were you, noona?"

"Washroom" she said quickly, surprised how collected and calm her voice sounded.

"Okay folks" spoke up Jae Suk. "It was an unfortunate day, but we will get past this. Go home for today. Tomorrow we will discuss everything."

The members bid their farewells and got into their own cars and vans.

As soon as she felt the plush seat under her rear, she teared the glasses away and brushed away a few unshead tears watching the hospital building as his manager drove away. She felt her purse buzz and getting it out, Jae Suk’s name appeared on the screen.

No – she thought. She just can’t. She switched the phone off and threw it back where it was.

Another car passed by way over the speed limit, splashing dirty water onto her shoes and dragging out of her thoughts forcefully. She shook her head and looked around the street, then down at the fruit basked next to her feet. Oh, right.

She can’t just stand there forever, but couldn’t will herself to move.

That conversation in the hospital room was the last one they had with the singer. The other five members and several of Jong Kook’s other friends already visited him. Two weeks passed and he was in a much better condition now. Next week he would come back to Running man, and Ji Hyo realized that she never even called the man or wrote him on KakaoTalk either. She even avoided checking their running man group chat. She really didn’t want to be that person who doesn’t give a about a great friend in need and didn’t want her relationship with the man to turn out like this.

But she needed time, damnit. Needed time to forget.

Before her brain could react, she reached down with her left hand to grab the basked and pulled out her phone from her pocket with her right. Without thinking she dialed his number and held the phone against her ear. Her heart pounded so loudly, it slowly blocked out the noise of the street and the light beeping from the other end of the line.

Every second ticked by awfully slowly, and she waited with her breath held back. Just as her lungs started to ache for oxygen, he picked up.

"Yes? Ji Hyo-yah?"

She gaped, not being able to form comprehend words and only blurted out a soft ’Oppa’.

"Hi" the man greeted her again. "I thought you disappeared. You were busy with work?"

"Uh" she tried to get her brain to work. "Yes. Yes, I was." C’mon, Ji Hyo. Think! Goddamn it… "I was… we were filming at the countryside for days recently."

"Really?" he asked. She could hear the sound of television in the backround. He was at home for sure. "How was it?"

Ji Hyo froze. His voice was just so sweet. He didn’t go down on for not calling him sooner even though he needed the help regarding his injury. And now he is asking about her time. Any other person would be angry at her behavior and maybe even go as far as call her selfcentered.

Maybe she was.

"Oppa, I’m here" she blurted out suddenly.

"Where?" came the surprised tone from the other end of the line.

"In front of your house, I mean. I called to let you know I came."

"Really? Okay, come on in then. See you."

Ji Hyo mumbled a see you back and quickly shut the phone off. Her heart was racing so hard, she was afraid of having a heart attack. Guilt ate her up bit by bit. He was always so kind with her. Why can’t she be the same friend. She felt as if she is using him and giving nothing in return. After a few moments of breathing slowly to steady her anxious state, she made her way towards the building. He lived on the eights floor, the ride on the elevator felt really long. Eyeing her dishaveld form in the mirror was no help for her anxiety. Crazy, tangled hair sticking out under her still wet cap, a white mask halfway down to her chin, and wrinkled clothes under her raincoat that needed to be ironed. Her face was in a similar state. White skin, dark circles and red nose from the cold. Even for her own eyes, she looked awful. Not the best impression to make after two weeks.

If he did’t love you yet, he won’t now – she laughed bitterly at her own remark.

Arriving to his door, she was ready dial the code, but to her biggest surprise, the door opened, revealing a smiling Jong Kook, standing tall on both of his feet. His hair was dishaveled and down to his eyes, covering his forhead, giving him a youthful look. His clothes were lose and comfortable, but still complemented his muscular form. Ji Hyo started to believe that the man only had clothes that were at least a bit thight on him.

"Long time no see" he said and leaned in to hug her.

She accepted the gesture, but as soon as his arms circled her smaller form, she wanted to pull away.

"Oppa, my clothes are wet." To be honest, painfully wet. The cold creeped though her skin and flesh and bit into her bones. She couldn’t help but shiver a little.

"It’s okay" he chuckled, but let her go and stepped away from the doorframe, to let her in.

She stepped into the apartment. It looked a bit cleaner then it usually does, but then again, he was a man of order.

"You know, my mother comes here daily." he said, chuckling upon seeing her expression. "She didn’t want me to move around too much. Or at all to be honest."

"Nice of her" she said, then glanced at him. "But Oppa, this is awfully clean. I don’t even want to go in any further."

"Don’t worry" he said, pulling her coat off of her, hanging it next to his on the wall.

"I brought this for you" she said, grabbing the fruit basket and handing it to him.

"Thank you!" He flashed a warm eye smile and took it, carrying it to the dining table…

…next to another nicely wrapped fruit basket.

Ji Hyo gaped and glanced away. She really should’ve thought about it more.

"Don’t worry about it either" calmed her Jong Kook, knowing all too well that she would feel weird about the situation. "Jae Suk Hyung, Dong Hoon and Kwang Soo all brought me the same kind of powdered tea. I appreaciate the thought and will eat and drink everything gladly. Now that I mention it, I was about to drink some. Would you like a cup too?"

"Uh, yes, thank you" she nodded, stepping next to him. "But don’t you want me to do…"

"Oh please!" he cut in, walkint to his kettle filling it with water. "You know that I love my mother, but I felt so bored and worked up having to sit still all day. Normally I work out a lot too, but she wouldn’t let me. I’m happy to move my muscles. My doctor also said that I can, now. Please, have a seat. I will be there in a minute."

Ji Hyo nodded and walked to the living room area. She choose to sit down on the couch and glanced at the TV which showed a weekly korean talk show of some sort. She also saw a book on the coffee table, still marked in the middle to read.

"And how are you?" His voice stole her attention and she glanced up. He was standing with his back to her. As she could hear it, he was cutting something on a cutting board. Probably fruits.

"I should be the one asking that."

The man glanced at her over his shoulder questioningly. "Boring story, really. Both my ankle and ligaments are healed. My mother just fought her way into SBS to stop me from coming back sooner to Running Man. So I sit home all day, and she comes here to make sure of it."

"She was right to do so" Ji Hyo added, one hand in her lap cracking the knuckles of the other in nervousness. She was glad that they could still talk normally even thought she pretty much avoided him for two weeks straight after the scary injury. Isn’t he even a tiny bit angry at her?

"She is worrying over nothing" he shook his head and turned back to cutting the fruits. "But then again, mothers are like that."

"You did gave us a scare though, oppa" she added, staring a hole into his back. Every muscle flexed and unflexed as he worked with the knife.

"It wasn’t so bad" he chuckled. "I walked out of the hospital on my own three days later. They took the cast off by the weekend too. I’m fine."

She thought about the many times his legs or back hurt. Remembered how afraid she was that some day the pain will be unbearable and he injures himself. She thought back how petrified she was that the day of the fall made her feel her fears came true.

Neither of them said anything after that, but the sound of the kettle filled the silence. He poured the boiled water into a nice little jug and placed a tea bag into it. Placing everything onto a tray, along with a bowl filled with little pieces of apple, orange and banana. He sat down next to her, his big form weighing down the couch heavily.

He reached for the remote control to switch the TV off, then glanced at his friend. His searching gaze seemed so kind as always. Nothing seemed off. He was normal.

"Oppa" she started, her voice low, almost a whisper.

"Yeah?" he answered as an encouragement and reached for a piece of apple.

"Your injury" Ji Hyo continued, for the first time not only meeting, but searching for his eyes. When he looked back at her, softly chewing on the fruit, he raised and eyebrow. "Is it related to…" How could she word it without being disrespectful and questioning his masculinity? She already knew that by now, since not only held she the sole female member position in Running Man, but others times while working, she was surronded by men. Men were fragile and sensitive, they get hurt easily just as women. She didn’t want that with Jong Kook even though he surely had thick skin. His sensitivity was about his condition, his weakness, about him being the strongest, or if can’t, being strong at all. Working out saved his life and helped him with body contidion and spine. But maybe it was too much for him.

"Is it connected to" she tried again "to your other chronic pains?"

He eyed her for a second or two, then smiled a little. "It’s nice of you that you are worring about me, but it was just a miscounted step. I was too reckless with that jump, I admit."

He seemed honest, but there was a weird gleam in his eyes, that Ji Hyo just couldn’t let go.

"I understand that" She started fidgeting in her seat, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by his presence. How could she ask such a thing when he radiated energy and power even by seeted on a couch? She didn’t want it come off wrong. "But that time about a month ago" He seemed to tense up at that and wrinkled his forhead with a slight frown. "Your ankle ached then too. Same ankle." Her gaze was searching, not letting him hide, although reassuring at the same time.

"Wow" he chuckled a little and scratched the back of his head. "You are about to became the next Detective Kook. You can definitely put things together. Okay, I won’t lie" he said, although his smile was bitter. "My leg do hurts sometimes, others times it’s my back or knee. But you all know that. I… won’t say it didn’t affect it. The fall may hurt more because of this, that it would hurt any of you in the same situation. But they are unrelated regardless."

Ji Hyo just nodded, but was not entirely convinced. However she saw that this topic made Jong Kook tense and she didn’t want to cause him any bad feelings, especially since he was recovering from an injury.

"I see… just… Just take care of yourself."

"I will" he smiled gently and patted her on the shoulder. "Thank you, Ji Hyo-yah" She just returned the smile. "So, what have you been up to recently?"

His question surprised her a little bit as it was such a sudden turn of conversation. "Nothing interesting" she answered nonchalantly with a smile and picked up a peace of apple. "We had a lot of outdoor scenes, so I wasn’t really much in Seoul. Last week I came home only to film Running Man. This week I’ve been home only since yesterday." This may be the reason she couldn’t visit him, but not an excuse to not contact the man at all during the time. She waited for him to express that, except he did not. Much of the opposite, actually.

He looked concerened suddenly, frowning deeply. She escaped his gaze by grabbing her teacup and brought it to her lips only to gasp the second as it burnt her tounge.

"Careful, it’s still hot" he said, getting the cup away from her before she could accidently drop it. He reached for a tissue on the table and handed it to her to wipe . "You do look tired."

She stopped and get the tissue away from her face. How much she hated those words. All they could tell her nowadays that she looked tired. Yes. She actually was tired. She felt tired. She was aware of that. Not even worth mentioning it so much. "It’s okay" she mumbled. "It’s nothing I can’t take. When I’m home, I sleep a lot."

If only she could. Her thoughts about the man and his unspoken rejection were the loudest at night, when everything was silent. She did watch a lot of night shows instead. She is more familiar with them than she ever wanted to be, really. After a particularly annoying one she got so worked up that almost threw her TV set out of the window.

"Good" he nodded. "Don’t overwork yourself. But I must admit that you do a wonderful job."

She glanced at him with a surprised look on her face.

"I have a lot of time" he chuckled. "I watched your drama whenever it was on. It’s great."

"I thought you don’t like historycal dramas" she said with a grin.

"I still do not" he added. "But I watch it for you. I even watched Kwang Soo’s new drama, which is also just plain… I must admit, sorry, stupid, but the kid is working hard, right?"

She laughed at that. She also had the same thoughs about Kwang Soo’s drama. Not his best one, but his acting is getting better to say the least. Not that he was bad to begin with, but improvement is improvement.

"Well…" she started with a smile. "I’m glad you like it. But you shouldn’t uh… watch it much." Upon seeing his questioning gaze, she blushed. "I mean… there will be scenes soon that I would you rather not see."

"What?" The man laughed at that. "What kind of scenes?"

"Just… just…"

Just she kissing with her co-star and her on-screen love interest. She absentmindedly glanced at Jong Kook’s lips, then his throat for a brief moment, before returning her gaze to his deep eyes. Kissing she did while imagined Jong Kook in the other man’s place. While they ripped the traditional clothes off of each other, she thought about the muscular man and how would it felt if he did it. While her co-star murmured endearments she imagined what it would be like if the singer told her the same things.

Something he won’t do.

He doesn’t love you.

He never will.

"Nothing" she breathed out, the sound of the raindrops knocking against the window almost suppressing her voice. It looked like a smal drizzle started again. Great.

"You are too shy about it" he said smiling, but understanding. "Okay. I won’t watch it if you don’t want me to."

A shiver went through her body. Her wet clothes clinged to her skin and suddenly she felt self conscious about it.

"Are you cold?" Jong Kook asked noticing her behaviour and reached for the blanket thrown over the backrest of the couch, but Ji Hyo waved at him with her palms.

"No, it’s okay. I should go anyway."

"So soon? You didn’t even drink your tea yet."

The actress glanced at her cup and saw it, indeed, untouched. The hot liquid was still steaming delicously, something her sore throat and numb fingers desired so much. Standing in the rain for an hour wasn’t the greatest idea in human history.

"We are filming tomorrow early… I need my rest." She lowered her gaze, not meating his eyes.

"Is that so?" His voice sounded warm. She didn’t deserve his kindness. She really didn’t.

"I’m sorry, Oppa. I just wanted to drop by and make sure… that… that you are okay."

"Don’t be silly. I’m happy you came!" Ji Hyo glanced at him and saw a huge grin displayed on his face. "But before you go, just eat some of the fruits you brought and drink your tea. It’s cold outside. Also you really should tell me about your filming while you are at it. Where did you go exactly?"

The actress pondered for a while, then nodded showing a small smile.

"Okay…"

~*~

The soft rain knocked on her raincoat slowly, drop by drop. The weight of the world pressed down hard on her shoulders and the thoughts of her own mind clouded her head.

Why did it hurt so much? She’s supposed to be over him.

She felt sick to her stomach again.

Suddenly her phone started to buzz in her pocket scaring her to death. What if it’s Jong Kook? She just left his apartment, she is definitely not ready to hear his voice again.

What if it’s Jae Suk then? She pretty much avoided him by not picking up any of his calls which could’ve alert the man. The comedian tried to confront her about Jong Kook’s hospital comment during their last Running Man filming, but as the other members and VJs were near, they weren’t able to talk. Not that she wanted to. She didn’t have anything to say to the man. She just didn’t have anything to say in general. She was utterly speachless.

The phone kept buzzing in her pocket and she reached down, hand trembling. She grabbed it with numb, cold fingers and glanced at the name displayed on the screen. A huge sigh left her lips. Dong Wook…

…Dong Wook?

They were great friends and would talk often, but nowadays they both were so busy with schedules, they weren’t able to talk more than sharing a few KakaoTalk messages in the form of cheering for each other and thanking the thought in the reply. And now he was calling out of the blue. Odd.

Ji Hyo didn’t have any reason to avoid him as the man didn’t know about her situation at all or so she thought. After all Jae Suk found out on his own, Dong Wook may did too… No, it’s different. Jae Suk spends awfully lot of time with both of them, although the actor doesn’t, or mostly spends time with only her, without Jong Kook. He can’t know about her odd behaviour around him.

She quickly pressed on the green circle to answer the call.

"Hey, Song Ji Hyo!" Dong Wook greeted her, his tone sounding cheerful as always. In the background she could hear the sound of heavy traffic, cars passing by and people talking.

"Dong Wook-ah" she said a bit breathless, soft.

"Ji Hyo-yah, I’m just calling to ask if you are in Seoul right now? I know you are busy, but I’m downtown, just finished an interview. Thought we could meet if you are up to it?"

She honestly didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to meet up with anyone and her plans consisted of curling up in her blanket after a hot shower. But it wasn’t just anybody, it was Dong Wook. And they hadn’t see each other for an awfully long time. She missed him. She missed his company. Missed talking to him.

"Ji Hyo, are you there?" Dong Wook urged her as she didn’t answer for a long time.

"Yes… Yes, I’m here" she replied, a small, but honest smile creeping onto her lips. "I would like to meet."

"Okay then. Where are you? We can meet in the middle in a café or restaurant. I’m in Gangnam." She could hear him exhale slowly and evenly. He was smoking. She remembered the sole cigarette in her pocket.

"I’m…" The thoughts about her taxi ride towards Jong Kook’s place and the time she spend standing around his building rushed back to her mind. She was still not far from his place. "I’m in Anyang…"

"Anyang?" Dong Wook asked sounding surprised. "What are you doing there?"

Ji Hyo opened to answer, but no words left her lips. She couldn’t come up with any great excuse to tell, but then again, why would she need any? Visiting a friend is completely normal. Jong Kook was someone everyone knew she had a great relationship with. Yeah, it’s normal.

It’s normal. Yet why did it feel so weird about it, something she should hide?

As she wasn’t answering for a long time again, Dong Wook spoke up instead.

"Ji Hyo… are you okay?"

"I… yeah" She started, yet again no other words forming after that. Was she okay or not? She should be, but does she really feel that way? How is she feeling anyway? Her own thoughts felt hazy and heavy, numbing her brain. "Just… I had a bad day." She blurted out, not being able to give more specifics or showing bigger honesty than that. Raw explanation that matched how raw she felt.

"Then we should definitely meet" Dong Wook said, the strength and warmth of his voice calming her soul a little. "Let’s drink. What do you think?"

"I do crave soju" Ji Hyo said then chuckled a little, though, bitterly, the smile not entirely reaching her eyes. She is having a shooting the next day, but the desire to empty her mind was bigger than ever. She only trusted Dong Wook to take care of her.

Because for the first time in years, she felt the need to be taken care of.

So that’s it~~~

What do you think about angst? I like it honestly – I think you know that by now – and this story needs it as well (well of my, but it’s not the point), but I wanted to ask if you think it’s too much?

I’m not a person who can write fluff, won’t even try to (I don't even read much fluff tbh only if there is nothing else), but if you think the angst lvl is just too high and not always necessary, I will think try to re-think my wiriting process.