Dark Clouds- Needy Kiss

I stared at the file in front of me. I couldn't understand anything. I was getting better at being a nurse so this was really frustrating. I would have to ask Beak Seung-Jo about it. I put it away in my bag to take home.

I pulled out the next file. I think I was having short-term memory loss or something. I couldn't seem to remember a thing. I was about to put this file away too, but turned to the girl next to me.

"Where should I file this?" I asked.

She barely glanced at it, but she confidently replied, "The cases of elliptical seizers."

Oh. I should have known that. I always feel that I won't be the perfect wife for Beak Seung Jo, and now I'm doing horrible as a nurse too. That's okay; I'll just have to study harder tonight.

"Mrs. Oh, can I have the most recent file for Kim Hyoong," a doctor said. I looked up and saw my husband. I shot right up in surprise, grinning happily. But he looked tired and had dark circles under his eyes.

"Yes, right away!" I scurried into the filling room and grabbed the latest file.

He glanced at it. "This is the wrong one."

"I'm sorry," eager to please him I reached for the correct file...I think.

"This kind of mistake is unacceptable. You could have killed someone by giving me the wrong file!" His voice was hard and cold and I flinched under his unwavering gaze. He turned to the nurse next to me and asked for the file again.

She, of course, got him the right file. She batted her lashes at him, but he walked away before she could even say anything.

I watched his white-robe clad form walk away. He seemed to have a dark cloud of gloom over him.

/_-_-_\

I came home and set the table. Today was a simple dish that even I had learned to make. It wasn't the best, but at least it was cooked and edible.

I held my hand out for Seung Jo's coat, but he brushed past me into the living room. He dropped his bag and fell onto the couch.

"I made egg noodles," I called to him tentatively. He ignored me. I tried again, but he still was staring into space.

Something was wrong. Usually he would tease me, or say mean things, but he almost never ignored me. I sat down next to him, but he didn't turn to acknowledge me. Not even to say a snide remark. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look me in the eye, a haunted look in his eyes.

"Let's eat dinner." He frowned at me, and I touched his hand worriedly.

I followed him into the kitchen, where he listlessly ate the salty soup I had made.

"What did you do today?" I chatted in order to make him feel more comfortable. "I got some files that I need help with. Can you help me?" I stopped to shovel soup in my mouth, and then spoke again. "I gave someone a shot today, without freaking out. Aren't you proud?"

He slammed the spoon down. "Don't you ever shut up?" My eyes widened in shock and hurt. He dumped the soup down the sink and walked upstairs. I stared after him.

"I'll clean up! Don't worry," I yelled after him. Somehow, I doubted that was even on his mind at all.

/_-_-_\

I grabbed his bag and coat and walked upstairs after washing all the dishes and putting them away. I needed to study the new textbook that I had gotten. After all, the medical field was an ever changing one.

I opened the door to our room, and saw Beak Seung Jo sitting on the bed staring at the wall. I dropped the stuff and rushed to him.

"Are you all right?" I screamed. "I can't live without you, you idiot!" I shook him and he turned to stare at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?"

"What are you doing?" he asked again more forcefully. "Leave me alone."

I took a step back and looked at him. "What happened at the hospital?" I asked, coming to a scary realization. He turned away.

Did I always have to chase after him? Would he always make me pry and wiggle my way in? When would he freely tell me things? Was I that unworthy of him?

I reached forward and hugged him fiercely, this time having a faint idea of what happened. I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot. I could tell what my hubby is thinking… I just needed to think about it for a bit.

Suddenly Seung-Jo tiled my head up and kissed me desperately. He hugged me to him so tight that without even taking off our clothes, we were like one. He had never kissed me like this, with such need.

I broke away from him with a gasp, trying to speak, but he just pushed me back against the bed and crawled on top of me.

"Seung Jo. Wait."

"I can't," he whispered.

"What exactly happened?"

He tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling and then back at me. He rolled off me, but I snuggled up close to him. This was one of the rare times where the genius Beak Seung Jo was weak.

"I wasn't smart enough to save someone." I stared blankly at him. Beak Seung Jo wasn't smart enough? Not. Smart. Enough. How?

"You can't save everyone. They all have their time to go."

"How would you know?" he snapped.

I pulled away slightly from him, almost unconsciously, as if to shield myself from further attacks. He looked at me, regret in his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

"What I'm trying to say… it's not the same." I still looked blankly at him. How tactless that he couldn't even apologize. He's never said I'm sorry before.

"I'm sorry."

Okay, I take that back. I shouldn't make too many assumptions.

I turned to kiss him on the cheek. "You are the smartest person, ever. Okay. You knew… we knew what we were doing getting into this field. You can't feel guilty forever."

He pulled me to him once more. I snuggled up close to him. "How did you get so smart?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and pointedly ignored that comment. Maybe distracting him would be good.

"Do you like being a doctor?" I asked. He wasn't an intern anymore; he was working a full time job. It must be so tiring.

"Yes. You? Do you like being a nurse?"

I thought about it. If I removed Seung Jo from the picture, I would have never gotten into the field, but in general, yes. I truly did like caring for people. It made me feel useful.

"Yes. I like being a nurse."

"Good."

"Seung-Jo."

"Hm?"

"I…" I trailed off, wondering if it was appropriate to say at this time.

He raised his eyebrows waiting for me to continue. I didn't. He smirked and said, "I love you too."

I burst into a happy grin. I squealed into my pillow right in front of him. I could feel the bed shaking with his laughter.

I was glad to have taken his mind off things. He really needed to relax once in a while.