Joonmyeon opens his eyes to a blurry view but he still can make up the doctor and nurses' silhouette that are surrounding his bed. They are talking and all he can hear is a buzzing sound but this has happened quite frequently lately and he knows he is having one of his attacks again and these nice and kind people are just trying to make it stop.

They are great at what they do but he doesn't think it will work this time. His lips can feel the oxygen coming from his mask but not his inside. He can feel his hospital pajama being ripped open and sticky, round things being placed all over his upper body and he isn't sure the electricity his body is receiving right now is from those things but he can feel it.

His eyes flutter weakly and he can make out his doctor's face. A pair of beautiful eyes, high nose, such pretty lips and a chin that he always dream to have. Doctor Sehun is a catcher and looks like he has his hair down today, a bit tousled. Probably from covering for someone again since he told him two days ago that he doesn't have night shift this week. The doctor is all about his image and although the owner himself doesn't like it, he really thinks the doctor look the most handsome with his hair parted in the middle like that.

You should stop. It doesn't work anymore.

But apparently those words are just in his head because the doctor is pumping on his chest now and how he wants to tell him it is hurt, why don't you try it but his earlier words didn't even left his mouth so he doubts this one is any different.

He moves his gaze from the handsome Doctor Sehun that is much younger than him (I know already, stop rub it in) and it stops at the door of his hospital room that is between the annoying doctor and one of the nurses and he catches the sight of someone peeking through from the long, vertical window on the door. Someone he met at the hospital and the only person he wishes would never see him like this.

No. You can't see me like this.

"Why not?"

Joonmyeon closes his eyes at the familiar voice and lets it linger in his ears. He knows his mind is playing trick on him - it does that when he is having his attacks (sometimes it was the good doctor's voice) - and he usually doesn't like it but not this time. Because hearing his voice always soothes him and that longing feeling he didn't understand but would get with every words being uttered always calms him.

"Hey."

He peels his eyes open and Doctor Sehun is no longer next to him, so does the nurses, and the oxygen mask he was wearing. All of them are gone, along with the rest of his room and the entire hospital, leaving him with the bed he is laying on in a white world.

Ah. His heart has stopped completely, huh?

"No, not yet."

He turns to his most favorite voice in the world and the most beautiful smile greets him. "Yifan."

"Do you want to take our usual walk?"

He stares at the strong hand being offered to him before looking back at the taller, nodding with a smile on his face as he accepted the warm hand that easily engulf his tiny one. He lets him help him climb off the bed, welcoming the warmth from the other hand on his waist as his feet touch the white ground.

Can he take this warmth with him?

"If you want to."

He pouts as he looks up at the taller. "Stop reading my mind."

The taller gives him a slight headshake. "It was your heart that told me."

The taller's hands are far from his face but Joonmyeon can feel the same warmth spreading across his face and he is pretty sure he can see his red face but he is going to keep his cool and act like nothing happen because he really needs this moment.

"Shall we?"

He stares at the taller's face before looking down and notices he is wearing the hospital pajama too, just like him. He starts walking, letting him lead him around the vast of white emptiness and his mind wander back to the day he met him.

"Are you thinking of the day we met?"

He glances with a pout at the taller and protest words are on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them back, giving a soft squeeze at the big hand that is holding his. "I am."

He was climbing down the stairs when his attack hit him and he was bracing himself for the cold floor that his back was going to meet but it never came and instead being replaced with the warmest warmth he ever felt in his life. And he accepted his offer of walking him back to his room but hesitated a little at the invite of walking at the hospital park the next day before he declined it. Which a decision he regretted the next day when he never felt so bored in his entire stay at the hospital, and it was only the second day he being admitted.

Then one night, a few days after their first encounter, he visited him at his room and they talked all night and it felt like the time had stopped because no matter how many time he glanced outside, the full moon that shine brightly that night seemed never moved from it spot way up in the sky. And he didn't know how he had fell asleep, his new friend was nowhere to be found but he had found himself wandering around the stairs he was almost fall off from the next morning, sitting at the top of it the whole morning before a familiar face appeared below it.

"Yifan."

"Yes?"

"What are you doing here?" He turns to taller, looking up at the handsome face (yes, Doctor Sehun, do you have a problem with that?) and sees a small smile adorn that pink lips.

"I'm here because you missed our usual walk."

He chuckles because he did missed their usual walk. He was busy having an attack. "I'm sorry. But we are having one now, right?" He sees a nod and focuses back to his front, which doesn't have any difference than his sides or his back, since they are walking in a world of nothingness, with white all over the place. The quietness is a little deafening but it is much more better than the buzzing sound ringing in his ears during his attacks. And he is with him. So he really has nothing to complain about.

"Yifan."

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me again about that beautiful beach from your hometown?" He looks up at him when the taller didn't give any response and suddenly his bare feet are stepping on something grainy before his eyes catch the colors that being painting on the white emptiness before the single color completely gone and being replaced with a beautiful view of mountains and houses and a castle that is standing tall in a distance. Soft winds wrap itself around his frame and the sound of the waves make him turned and a vast ocean is splayed before him. He looks down at his feet and he can see his toes buried under the gold sand. "Yifan..."

"Why tell you when I can show you." 

The taller smiles at him and Joonmyeon really thinks he should stop doing that because it will make him wish for something he knows he couldn't have.

"What do you mean?"

He smiles because he just read his mind - his heart - again and he shakes his head. "It is nothing. Just a silly thought."

He turns and faces the ocean, his hand is still inside his and remembers all those stories the taller has told him. About his hometown that is just a small village but the people are living to their fullest. About the mountains that have lush forest and how the trees would changed their leaves and the mountains would turned into a masterpeice. About the beautiful beach he is standing on that never fail to deliver mesmerizing sceneries of the sunrise and the sunset. And about the majestic castle where the ruler of the kingdom lives.

He shifts his gaze from the sea to the castle that is standing tall and it red bricks and towers sending a familiar feeling - longing feeling - as if he has been here before and he is back after being gone for a long time. He turns to him. "It is not possible, is it?"

"What is?"

He chuckles in amusement because he thought he fully understood how this mind reading works but apparently he is not. He stares back at the sea and somehow he is reminded that this isn't real. He isn't actually at the beach because the real him is battling with Doctor Sehun, who just want to save his life and make him live a little bit longer ("I will find what is wrong with you!"). And he really appreciate that but since the first day he being admitted until yesterday, there were no progress of him being better, instead it had gotten worse.

He doesn't know what he has, and when the good ("And handsome!") doctor told him that he has to stay so they can perform a few tests on him, he had to admit he saw it coming. He was having short-breath and sometimes it burn just to breathe. This has never happened before until a few days after his birthday when he collapsed on the sidewalk after chasing a pickpocket. And he was exploring the hospital to waste his time when that happened led him to meet him.

And maybe because he was sick and bored and stuck in the hospital that made him has those feeling towards his new friend. He was kind and loving (and of course, handsome) and he had told himself a million times that he shouldn't be having that feeling because you are dying, do you need another reason but he couldn't help it. That warm feeling every time that beautiful smile being flashed brightly at him. That deep voice that has become his favorite sound in the entire universe.

And that gentle kiss on his forehead after he ran into a wall because he was lost in that voice and that smile again made even the inner him agreed with the outside him.

That they are in love with him.

Joonmyeon looks up and stares deeply into those big eyes. He knows what he is about to say doesn't really going to change anything but he just want to say it. It is the first time he ever feel like this and he wants him to know that he is so lucky to have met him. "Yifan."

"Hm?"

"I like you." Joonmyeon bites his lower lip because it's 'love', you big idiot! We talked about this like, five second ago! and shakes his head because he will cry if he said that word. He will never see him again after this so he really doesn't want the taller to remember him with his ugly crying face.

"You have to say it."

He stares at him, blinking repeatedly as he realizes that he can - no - his own heart has been telling him everything. He sighs in defeat at the small smile on the handsome face and takes a deep breath before looking back up, meeting with those beautiful, round orbs.

He is really has to say it, huh?

"I love you."

A slight nod and he is watching the hospital pajama the taller is wearing slowly changing into something else. He takes a step back when the plain hospital pajama is completely gone and a familiar feeling is tugging at his heart at the sight of his handsome friend in a red military uniform. He examines him from head to toe and the taller looks so handsome it reminds him of someone.

"A king." 

"Your king, my love."

And at those words, Joonmyeon being reminded of everything.

That long ago, there was a sick boy sneaking out in the middle of the night despite his father's warning and went to the lake in the woods. There, the boy met with another boy that was sneaking out from his house just like him. They talked all night long and went back to their houses just before the sun rose.

It was supposed just for that night but the sick boy still ignored his father's words and went to the lake the next night, hoping his new friend would come too and the other boy did came. He was so happy having made a new friend and they talked again, telling each other about everything and then left when the sun starting to rise.

And this went for days before one night, the boy couldn't sneak out even though he wanted to see his new friend so much because his sickness was getting worse. And he tried the next night, but the boy's sickness prevented him from going out and that also went for days, making him felt apologetic to his new friend that didn't know the reason why he couldn't come.

Until one day, while the sick boy was looking out the window still thinking about his new friend, that his father told him that someone came to see him. And he went outside, only to meet with his new friend and he was so happy that he didn't noticed the beautiful, red clothes his new friend was wearing and he hugged him in his ragged ones.

And the sick boy listened, a small smile on his lips, as his new friend told him about who he was and the reason why he came to his humble home. And he stared at his new friend, who was the only prince of the kingdom, with heart swelled with happiness from the confession made by the young prince. It was all he ever wanted, it was all he ever dreamt of, being together with the one he loved.

The sick boy smiled, watching the young prince's face lit up and he shook his head. Because no matter how much he wanted and dreamt about being with the young prince whom he loved with all his heart, it shouldn't happen. He was sick, with no cure. That was why his father won't let him go out. Because his father knew something like this would happened, and it would end up him being hurt even more.

And he told the young prince all of these, he had predicted it when the young prince rose from his seat with a solemn face and he turned to retreat to his room but a warm hand got hold of his fingers and he was looking down at the young prince that was kneeling before him, the most beautiful smile on his lips as he shook his head, telling him his feeling all over again.

Joonmyeon breathes out, smiling at his King. "You know it was all your fault."

The young king smiles as he pulls him closer. "I know."

"I could have laid alone in my bed at my house but you just had to be there, by my side, sitting there by my bed in the castle, flashing that blinding smile of yours, telling me that you love me over and over again."

The young king chuckles, nodding in agreement. "I'm sorry."

Joonmyeon basks in the warmth that is slowly enveloped him as a pair of strong arms settled on his back, with his head on the sturdy chest, listening to the calm heartbeats. "You broke my heart with that small smile you had on every time you came back from the healer even though I told you it was useless."

"I just want to be with you a little longer."

"I could have died in misery for leaving you alone in the world but you just had to ask the seer so that we can meet in another lifetimes and making me all happy about it."

"But not without conditions."

"Ones that you still agreed to it." Joonmyeon pulls just a breath away to look up at his King and brings his hands up, caressing the face he never knew he had missed so much. It has been so long since they are together like this but they have to part ways again. Because this man before, the warmth that he is feeling, they are all not real.

"It was me that making you sick."

He frowns. "My king, what do you mean?" He stares, waiting for an answer and then he remembers how it all started. Not being able to breathe. He smiles. "Just like before..."

You always take my breath away.

"So, are you here to take the last of my remaining breath away?" He earns a nod and something tingling running through his upper body. He looks down and sees he is still in his hospital pajama.

Ah. Doctor Sehun.

It has been fun being the good (and handsome) doctor's patient and he can't be grateful enough for all that the younger had done to him. Always bringing snacks whenever he's going to tell him about those tests he had taken, trying to cheer him up because the results were never could. But now he has to go. "Yifan." He stares into those gentle eyes and he sees a nod and he finds himself back at the hospital.

Instead back in his body, he is hovering above his own self that is still laying on the bed, wearing an oxygen mask with Doctor Sehun looming over him, his voice loud as he tells the nurses this and that. He flies down and stops beside the younger, placing his transparent hand on the good doctor's and smiles when the other stops what he was doing, as if he can feel his touch.

It's fine now. I want to go. Thank you.

He kisses him on the cheek and it makes the doctor turn to his direction, his head shaking at him. He knows the younger can't see him and is staring at the wall but he too knows Doctor Sehun felt his presence and he nods, sending the younger his goodbye. He flies back up to where the taller is waiting and watches as Doctor Sehun and the nurses just stare at his lifeless body before facing him. "Yifan.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Yifan smiles and Joonmyeon lets him catch his lips, smiling as his breath is taken away for the last time.