I slumped on the couch after a long day in school. Not to mention the part time job that nearly killed my thighs. It was wrong of me to think to work at a gas station was a piece of cake; maybe karma decided to strike me back for thinking working at a petrol station was an ease. I flung my bag beside me as I lay dead on the couch. I didn’t even bother moving an inch. It would just make my muscle ache even more. Why bother?

But after minutes of laying dead, wishing the torture would end, I decided to wash up and prepare some ramen to fill this grouching empty stomach. I wouldn’t want to hear my mum nagging on the phone for being irresponsible. She worried a lot ever since I left Ilsan for Seoul to attend Seoul National University here. Being here alone; well I came with Namjoon. Speaking of Namjoon, I really wish he would get out of this little head of mine. I rather fill this brain of mind with important information for my thesis or those keywords that would help me ace my examinations but here I am stuck with his image on my brain. I bet memories of him has already been embedded in my brain ever since I realised I was helplessly in love with him.

We were friends due to the odds of my parents being neighbours with his parents. Ilsan was a big area but somehow, as if fate was out to get me, I ended up befriending him when we were 10. He has been a huge part of my life since we were inseparable. Everywhere we went, he tagged along. Which explains how he’s here with me in Seoul, attending Seoul National University with me. Soon, I realised I became dependent on him; of his presence. Everything went well but it went too well; I knew the disaster has yet to come. And as if it was haunting me, it soon began.

Like a bad omen in books, Naeun managed to enter our lives. When Namjoon broke it down to me that he was dating that vicious girl, I cried for days. But I dealt with it well, trying to act all mighty. I had to act as if it was alright as if the news didn’t affect me at all. And like I’ve expected it, we became distant. Everyone in our faculty knew she was a clingy, attention-seeking girlfriend. It’s just Namjoon who seemed to be blinded by love. More of being blinded by her. As days passed by, it became months. Months of not being in contact with Namjoon. My friends kept on rubbing salt to the wound asking questions; How could he go for a girl he met 3 years ago over you whom he met 12 years ago? How could he so dumb to go out with a girl like that when he could have gone out with a girl who has been waiting for him for years?

I know those were supposed to cheer me up and increase my self-esteem level but it doesn’t. I wore my large hoodie and sweatpants, blowing on the cup ramen I prepared for myself. Great, nothing on air that’s interesting enough to kill the boredom while eating but I decided to settle on watching some British movie airing.

Before I could clear the table after finishing up, the doorbell started to ring out of the blue. I rolled my eyes in response. Must be the tenant again. Didn’t I pay the rent this month? And it’s midnight. Couldn’t she wait till tomorrow? I sighed. Since when did they say life is easy. Life has always been hard. Like my dad said before I left home; you are responsible for your own actions so bare the consequences. I chose to move out and pay for my university fees. I chose to love Namjoon despite kno