OST: 4 벽

Kyungsoo remembers the first time he had Byun Baekhyun in his arms.

He remembers the feels of spring and summer seasons combined when he first laid his eyes on him.

He still remembers the foreign taste of Baekhyun's lips on him, he still remembers how sometimes Baekhyun's ears would turn red when Kyungsoo teased too much, or when Baekhyun turns his head around when Kyungsoo stares a little too long at him. He still remembers the way Baekhyun smile that drives Kyungsoo to the edge, utterly breathtaking. He still remembers the stolen glances and kisses between the two of them, just two fools in love.

He still remembers how does it feels to fall in love with Baekhyun.

---

Falling in love with Baekhyun is, celestial.

The kind of love that flies you the seventh floor of sky. The kind of love that reminds you of home. The kind of love that burns your chest with burning incense of love. The kind of love that feels like the first you've ever had. The kind of love that leave you breathless, asking for more each time.

That kind of love that Kyungsoo falls in love with.

Baekhyun was nothing but gentle and loving, the ideal type of a boyfriend, the type that ahjummas like because he's the living idea of a perfect son and sometimes a little bit overprotective over Kyungsoo.

Now, everything seems to be changing.

He notices how Baekhyun sometimes would be too busy to come home with the 'I have too many works' kind of excuses he would throw, he notices how Baekhyun flinches everytime Kyungsoo touches him, and he notices how Baekhyun seems so far.

But, Kyungsoo is the one to forgive.

Of how Kyungsoo shrugs it off everytime Baekhyun plants a kiss on his forehead, of how he ignores every thoughts of negativity when Baekhyun's skin collides with his at nights, of how Baekhyun would slip into the right of the bed and hugs away his misery until Kyungsoo feels numb to the pain in his chest.

Kyungsoo is afraid.

Kyungsoo is scared at the thought of losing Baekhyun. He is scared of letting Baekhyun slipping away from his arms. Baekhyun is his home, his home sweet home. Losing Baekhyun is like losing himself to madness of the maze, it feels like your heart is being shredded to pieces a millionth time. A hole in Kyungsoo's heart is forming and Baekhyun, being indifferent, is oblivious at how Kyungsoo is losing himself.

Kyungsoo knows he had lose him, though.

The light kisses on Kyungsoo's body are lessening as days goes by, and the touches are barely there when all the look on Baekhyun's face to Kyungsoo are pure disgust and sadness, and Kyungsoo is aware of how Baekhyun's embraces aren't tighter as before or how the bed feels the coldest when he lays alone at night.

He also notices the reddish marks under Baekhyun's shirt everytime he lifts his arms high, or how the shirt hangs way too high and the sinful spots are visible in Baekhyun's inner thigh. Kyungsoo knows where he got them, when sometimes Kyungsoo waits until 4AM for Baekhyun to come home after his 'late night' works, he knows.

The world has turned its back on him, and all Kyungsoo feels now is, pain, that will forever leave a scar.

---

Chanyeol is tall, his body lean with built muscles planted under his skin and he seems the type that Baekhyun would chase after. Chanyeol's high cheek and how cutely his nose would scrunch when Baekhyun teases him about his yoda-like ears with his plump lips that Baekhyun seems to favor more nowadays instead of Kyungsoo's.

When Kyungsoo finds them on a Star Wars movie date together, he didn't miss how tight Baekhyun holds on Chanyeol's arms, he didn't miss how Chanyeol would steal some kisses from Baekhyun's lips that used to be Kyungsoo's favourite lips, and he didn't miss how Baekhyun would sometimes mouthed the "I love you" words into Chanyeol's ears. 

Everything has been taken away from Kyungsoo's grasp and there's nothing he could do to fix it.

Because Baekhyun's heart is not with him anymore.

But Kyungsoo doesn't mind now. 

He tells himself he's okay,

When he wakes up alone to the remains of Baekhyun's cologne on the bed,

When he cooks breakfast for two and the other plate remains untouched, cold,

When he now only sings alone to their favourite playlist of music,

When the house now only filled with Kyungsoo's heavy breathing and sniffles rather than Baekhyun's loudness,

When Kyungsoo now only cry to sleep while his hand not touching the right side of the bed but his little bump under his stomach.

But, Kyungsoo still forgives Baekhyun and he is still very much in love with Baekhyun.

---

Baekhyun is barely home now, and the house grows even quieter than ever before.

Baekhyun would leave the house at 6AM in the morning and only comes home at 2AM, the three-seaters sofa in the living room is now his bed, and how his clothes in the wardrobe are half gone.

It is all too obvious, too obvious to even all living humans that Baekhyun is not interested anymore to live in this house. Not interested to live under the same roof as Kyungsoo anymore. Not interested to live the same way as Kyungsoo anymore.

And he grown specially uninterested to love Kyungsoo anymore.

---

There's nothing left to do. There's nothing left to mend, to fix. There's nothing left to be changed. There's nothing left to be remembered. There's nothing left to fight for. There's nothing left to live for. There's nothing left for a broken soul. There's nothing left for Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

And there's nothing left to be loved in this relationship.

So, Kyungsoo left.

Without anything left to say.

---

Kyungsoo smiles to the four years old— his son has been acting up these days, always wanting something . Being an excited kid he is, he drags his daddy Kyungsoo away from the pathwalk to a café across the street. Kyungsoo laughs away along being dragged to the café counter and lifts up his little kiddo in his arms, a peck on his nose and asks, "What do you want, Do Ryung?"

Do Ryung giggles and his eyes glimmers on the question, wiggles around excitedly on his daddy's arms only to earn chuckles from Kyungsoo, "Daddy! I want.......uhm, banana split! Can I, can I?" Do Ryung points his finger towards a bucket of fake banana polystyrene behind the counter.

Kyungsoo laughs quietly and pinches gently on Do Ryung's cheeks, "Sure, love. Wait. Okay?"

Kyungsoo speaks his orders to the girl in front of him, pays for it and moves away to sit comfortably somewhere at the corner of the café. He turns around only to meet with a familiar pair of eyes, the eyes that he used to love so many years before.

"Kyungsoo?" 

Baekhyun is still like how Kyungsoo used to remember, but the only that change his appearance is his hair, now dyed in platinum blonde and he looks finer, built since the last time Kyungsoo sees him. The gaze Baekhyun gives him almost drive him to the brink, and Kyungsoo have been missing him so much. His voice is deeper, and it reminds Kyungsoo of everything.

"B–Baekhyun…"

---

Author's Note:

COULDN'T. STOP. WRITING!!! HELP. HELP. HELP. 

I meant to write more, but then I thought this has gone way too long for a drabble! I'm sorry! Do give me comments, and if this is received well, I might write an epilogue for the whole drama between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. But if not, then I'll just leave this here xoxo.

P/S: DO RYUNG - RYUNG meaning a realm of light.