Elowen

It was really hard to explain the slight transition my life was going through at that time. Time flew, and missing the holidays with my family had saddened me greatly, but it made oppurtunity for independence and many other things. Before I knew it, the slow approach of warmth in the March breeze lived in the air and I was discovering things about myself that I wish I had uncovered in high school. Elders really aren't kidding when they tell you that being young is a journey.

I was still in shock. I had always told myself that we were a "lost generation", and that unfortunately, I would never get to experience the bona fide elements within a real relationship with someone other than my blood due to things like technology and so on. I was so convinced I would never truly connect with another human being on this planet other than Becky, that the idea or realization, which ever it was at that time, was overwhelming. After watching people flip through boyfriend and girlfriends like an outfit, and talking to so much kids that carried themselves like they had no sense of intellect or connection with the universe whatsoever, I had been living just to live, and without any real purpose since I had always thought that I would carry this strange sense of lonliness beside me like a pet. 

But the more we hung out, the more I realized how much we connected. Not to the point where it was frightening, because we did have our differences, but just enough to the point where I could feel it in my gut and go home and think about it before I went to bed. 

I had gone to Korea to find my soul within Seoul, and escape the impurities of life, only resulting in finding something to live for. My once dry and sheepish life had been watered with the sweet sonorousness of his voice, and the warmth within his humble eyes. I felt like a once wiliting flower, beginning to bloom. And we connected, not as aggressive like two ends of a magnet, but like two colors that mixed well. We connected and I couldn't believe it.

My bias and I, connected. 

He snuck out a lot. I'm not sure how he did it, but he made it happen. Because he was still apart of a somewhat 'rookie' group, they were stationed in Korea for the most part, which made it easier to keep in contact with him. We spent nights out at parks or isolated beaches, talking about our flaws and our fears, our dreams and our desires. It was awkward often. I felt like a meeting couldn't go by without some type of awkwardness passing through the atmosphere. His English slowly began to improve, I assumed he had been studying. I, as always, tried my best with the Korean that I knew. 

One day, we had gone to this beach all the way in Incheon. We had left in the late afternoon and ended up there around the early evening. We played some clam game that he seemed to enjoy way too much. It was cute though. It was something he did with the boys often. We bought a small portable grill from a nearby department store, placed it on the sand on which we sat with blankets, and placed our clams that we had equipped from the shore right ontop of the burning grill. 

"C'mon! Go! Go! Go!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands excitedly like a seal being given a treat. 

"No!" I yelled with a huge smile at his clam, as if it could understand what I was saying. There we were, jumping in the sand around a grill with opening clams. Thank God the beach was as spacious as it was empty, or else someone might have called the police. 

"C'mon little one! You can do this! Open open open!" I got closer to my slightly opening clam, clapping with every syllable of my words. I took a glance at his clam to see that it was almost on the verge of snapping open. I frowned at the sizzle it made. They started to smell like French fries due to the sea salt cooking on them. Catching my expression, he erupted in laughter, holding his stomach, eyes tightly closed. I bit my lip to hide my growing smile, and took the opportunity to push him in his side, causing him to tumble into the sand. He laughed even harder at my jealousy. 

"Hey look! Mines about to- It's open!" He rose so quick off of the ground, and began jumping up and down frantically like a kid, pointing at his victorious clam. I dreadfully look to where he was pointing and face palmed myself so hard, my forehead had to be changing colors. 

"No no no! Don't make me go in there! Please!" I began to beg, placing my hands on his shoulders in plead. 

He shook his head, his calmed laughter was music to my ears. He moved my arms with his hands and placed his on my shoulder. 

"We made a bet little girl, and I won! Start taking those shoes off, you don't wanna get them wet!" He chortled in my face softly before turning from me, and picking up his phone off of the beach blanket. 

I looked at him in disbelief, mouth hung slightly open in incredulity. He seemed tickled by my whole reaction, in that moment his eyes were basically closed the whole time since he was too busy smiling like an idiot. I sighed in defeat, kicking my black converse off into the sand, a somewhat playful glower on my face as we began to walk side by side to the seashore. The sun set made the sky appear heavenly. All kinds of shades of oranges and pinks danced onto the clouds, giving them a warm and lively embrance. It granted one a humble evening. Physically, this evening of ours was no where near humble. But in it's interior, the connection we had, and our new budding relationship kicked off. 

"You know, it's only March. The water is still really cold," I tried to say compellingly, "what if I freeze to death?" We stopped at the shore, watching the waves wash upon the same wet sand over and over again. 
 

"Then I'll bring your body back to your dorm," he said flatly but with a smile as he his phone camera. "You wanna' hurry up and do this right? Get in there," he pointed to the water. I whined under my breath in dismay. Getting wet was the last thing I had wanted to do. The slight chill in the air happened to creep up behind me, giving me goosebumps, and reminded me that the water was going to be ice cold. 

"Hey soju girl, do I have to push you?" He suddenly placed his hands on my shoulders again, making me jump out of my thoughts. I blushed slightly, though I had a thick sweater on, his hands felt warm and secure. 

"Stop calling me that," I whined, a hint of a smile on my face as I began to walk forward. Memories played in my mind. He backed away, several feet away from the shore to get a better shot.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled, the sound of the waves with my eyes sealed was hypnotizing. With the sound of my exhale I heard the sound of his camera ding, and with that, I ran. Fast. 

I soon felt my skin drenched in coldness and could no longer feel my toes, causing me to yelp like an abused animal. 

"Woo! That a girl!" I heard him cheer on, his sudden English not even enough for me to turn around. Used to the coldness a bit more, I plunged my whole head in, holding my breath. 

"Elowen is the best! Elowen is cool! But Elowen will always be a fool!" He chanted as soon as he saw me plunge in. After some seconds began to pass, his smile gradually began to fade. "Okay! Come up! Come up now.." He squinted his eyes and looked out to the area where I had disappeared. After a minute had passed, a very long minute, a sharp pain hit his heart and he felt the need to run. He dropped his phone into the sand and sprinted toward the sea side, images of what I had said before began to torment him. 

"Elowen! Elowen!" He howled, running with all might. Just before his sneakers hit the water, I upthrusted out of the water unexpectedly, my gleeful laughter filling the air around us as soon as I caught a glimpse of his face. I hauled my legs through the water, getting closer to him. 

"Aish I thought you were dead! Don't ever do th-, woah woah, what are you doing," He asked suspiciously, backing away slowly from the shore with his hands up. I laughed, moving faster since I was in shallower water, causing him to make a run for it as soon as my feet hit the sand once again. 

"Hey, I'm not playing with you, don't touch me! This is a new sweater!" He yelled out to me, running but looking back at me. I ran faster, something inside suddenly made me become playful.

"Too late!" I tackled him, arms entangled around his torso, causing us both to fumble into the sand.

"COLD!" 

"Get m