When you come to love someone beyond understanding, the fear of the unknown can be overbearing.

The twenty eight year old Bang Yongguk understands that ‘Love’ is no ordinary word. He has been through the contemplation more than once, doubting himself, asking if this was love. He had never been too sure of it. He liked how it felt, holding hands, grinning like idiots, surprise kisses, – all of it in a nutshell weren’t things he tried to push away from his life. Quite the opposite.
He welcomed them too easy.

If he was certain about one thing; then it would only be of himself. He knew that he was an easy person. A couple of dinners and a bit of flirt was enough of a ticket to his pants and he knew that. He knew that he let himself sway and go with the flow and he knew that let himself be carried away in the moment. He had been in and out of relationships, had at least slept in the least with twenty strangers, if he counted – and just let himself be that, as long as he could remember. Perhaps for the past five years.

When someone asked him out, he committed himself, tried his best to keep it going, but until now, none of it has. It broke his heart despite which of them wanted out, but after a few days of emptiness, he accepts life as it is, and moves on. The quicker he reverts back to himself, the lesser he had liked the person – he had observed.

Even if that’s how it had been all this time, right now, was different. Because every other time his partner decided to move on, dump him, let him go, never had any of them kissed them as passionately as a human could have managed, cried silent tears and had stabbed his heart any deeper.

Kim Himchan was different like that.

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24th November, 2015
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When their relationship started to crumble, when their arguments and complaints and quirks were overtaking the kisses and hugs, he took Yongguk out for dinner. Yongguk had already been through this too many times to realize that this was their last supper.

Kim Himchan will break up with him and they will part their ways. Yongguk saw it all happening in his mind, that when he arrived at the place, and sat down opposite an unusually early Himchan, he told himself that he would be fine.
It’s only happening again, after all.

Himchan had dressed in a white collared shirt with long sleeves which was just his size. It lined his sharp shoulders and lean torso, and Yongguk found himself sighing. Himchan was a good looking one, with pitch black unruly hair, cut short to keep it neat. His nose was sharp, jawlines tight; but his soft bow lips added the charm to his edges.

His thin eyes were soft yet enduring, and tonight, they spoke a lot. His eyes were glossy and Yongguk felt sorry.
To be completely honest, Yongguk had come to like the talkative male a lot. He was nosy and snooped at everything but he never made rude comments and was excellent with his words, capable of handling any sticky situation by just talking his way out of it. Yongguk smiled. Himchan really did talk a lot.

Himchan was the one who confessed, and Himchan was the one who asked him out. Himchan was the one who set up their dates and Himchan was the one who took it upon himself to be their travel guide. He was a warm animated person and he brought light to Yongguks otherwise mundane life in his office. He said he liked how calm and reserved and accepting Yongguk is… and his deep voice. Himch