[White's Point Of View]

As I wait for the elevator after an unsatisfying breakfast ( Don't worry, the food was actually good. I was just not in the mood to eat.), my mind returns back to last night's incident. Soon enough, PTit joins my side as he returns from the bathroom and signals me to follow. Releasing a heavy sigh, I begin to drag my legs towards the bus that currently awaits for us to go to our next destinations.

As I walk after him in silence, yesterday's incident continues to play in my mind like a broken record, reminding me of what I have done. I have done it again. I have ed up. My actions and my words are contradicting each other and now my mind and my heart are filled with regrets and frustration. Why couldn't I just be honest with Captain? Why didn't I just tell him about how I really feel? The more I keep doing this, the more I am hurting him, I know. I might even lose him but for some reasons the words keep getting stuck in my mouth. I am contradicting myself. I do realize that I love him and yet, I can't bring myself to admit it. It's as if the words "I love you" felt foreign whenever I tried to speak them, as if they were forbidden when directed to him. Is it that I am afraid that if I spoke them they would become my reality and tie me to him forever? Am I afraid of being tied to him? I thought I was over that. Then why am I still holding back? The pressure and stress is consuming all of my energy and I'm worried I will soon explode. I know that this is not the right time nor place and that I should hold it no matter how hard it became. That's what was expected of me as a celebrity. 

"Hi, White! Why do you look so tired? Didn't get enough sleep last night? Too many activities, yeah?" As I approach the bus, I am met with Ngern's mischivious grin as he talks to some of our companions. Great. I don't need this so early in the morning but I can't say anything about it, at least not in front of these people. Smiling weakly, I respond, "Not really. I just feel a little homesick, that's all!"

Ngern's face changes as he looks at me. His smile vanishes and his eyebrows furrow in a concerned gesture. It seems he has noticed that I am not in my greatest moment. Giving his two companions a apologetic smile, he holds my shoulders and pushes me forward to a corner. "Hey, White, what happened?! You don't look very well." He asks in a low voice, deep concerned.  "No, no, it's nothing! Don't worry, I'm okay." I continue giving him a faint smile, hoping that he will get the hint that I don't want to talk about it. He looks at me doubtfully, but decides to not pressure me anymore. 

Giving me a synpathetic smile, he slowly taps my shoulder and guides me towards the bus. I haven't seen Captain since early morning. He took off right after changing so I think he is already inside the bus. I am still not sure of what I should say or do when I see him. I am afraid of how he might treat me when he sees me. By his behavior this morning, I can tell that he didn't want to face me. I can't even bring myself to blame him after yesterday's incident. I was an to him. Captain's expression, full of sadness and disappointment when I told him I was sorry, is still fresh in my mind. After doing that to him, after denying him like that, it wouldn't surprise me if he thought he was just a game to me. I am really the worst.

As I walk inside the bus behind Ngern, I realize that Captain is sitting alone in the far end corner. With his head resting against the window, he looks outside absent mindedly. I wonder what he is thinking about. Possibly about yesterday too. As I stand in the middle of the bus, I feel a hand on my shoulder and realize that Ngern was still in front of me. "Hey, you should probably seat beside him." Ngern whispers to my ear and signals me to Captain. "I-I rather not. I don't think he wants to see me." I whisper back, apprehension clear in my voice. Furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head slowly, he responds, "No. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but fix it! I don't want two sulky faces throughout the trip! I came to enjoy my time here and the two of you are ruining it!" 

I let out a sigh of resignal and Ngern gives me an encouraging smile as he whispers me luck before seating beside P'Tit, who is comfortably sleeping with his head against the cold window. Taking a big gulp of air, I walk and slowly sit on the seat beside Captain. I can feel Captain's body stiffen when our bodies accidentally touch due to the seat size being quite small. Cautiously I turn to glance at the guy who I have hurt. He is still looking outside the bus without any hint of turning to look at me soon. This is awkward and I need to say something to break the ice before others start to notice it.

I move closer to Captain and tap his shoulder, "Good morning, Captain. Did you have breakfast yet?" Food would normally lighten up the mood for Captain's case. I hoped that it helped. He slowly turns to look at me blinking his beautiful eyes. His lips seem to be moving but no words come out. The awkwardness between us increases and I am not sure what I should say next. Finally I can hear his whispering voice breaking the silence between us, "Not bad. How about you, P?"

Smiling I reply, "Me too! But I still prefer my 3 type of salads." Captain gives me a small chuckle before muttering under his breath, "You and your salad." After that we go into silence mode again and the awkward feeling returns. "Captain.." I call his name in a soft voice, hoping that he could sense how much he means to me. Captain turns to look at me again with questioning eyes but although he acts neutral, I can still feel the sadness that he is feeling as he looks at me.

Lowering my head, I continue to say, "I am really sorry.." I know that I have already said those words but right now, it's everything I can manage to say. I keep my eyes dropped, but I can feel that he is looking at me. I am afraid of the expression he might be wearing right now but I know that I have to face him. Slowly, I lift my face up and our eyes meet. I can see so much pain and sadness in them. Rejection and denial. Those are the things he might be feeling right now. But despite his emotions, he forces a smile and responds in a steady voice, "It's ok, P. I understand."

He drops his face for a moment and lets out a heavy sigh. I know that he is fighting his emotions and the scene is so heartbreaking that for a moment I want to tell him. But before I can speak, he looks at me with mischief and bumps my shoulder, "Why are you being so serious, anyway?! Let's forget about it and have some fun today, okay?."

I look at him reluctantly, not knowing what to say or do. I know that he is trying to look strong despite the pain, like always. I want to tell him that everything is gonna be okay, that he shouldn't pretent to be fine, that I understand, but before I can speak again, a voice interrupts me and we turn our heads in unison to look at the lady that's standing in front of the bus. With a microphone, she begins to explains our plans for today and with a last glance at Captain, I turn my attention to the petite woman. 

"So how is everyone doing so far? Great?!" She continues talking excitedly, and I can hear some of the other passengers replying with the same excitement. Everyone seems to be having a great time and I should be having fun just like them but my mind is still burdened by Captain. "How about we play some games?! Would that be fun?" I hear the woman ask while raising her hand up in the air as if asking permission. Everyone screams excitedly in agreement. "Okay! Are you ready?!" She asks. "We are ready!" Everyone else on the bus shouts while they continue smiling happily. I add myself to them, trying to get Captain out of my mind for a moment. I do hope that the games are not too embarrassing or else whoever gets to do it will get teased throughout the trip. I know that because I've been in that position. 

"Okay, okay, the first person to come up in front is... White!"

What?! Did I hear my name?! I look around me while Captain continues to push me to go front. "Go, P! They are calling you! You're the first one!" Captain continues pushing me. Wait a minute. This can't be happening to me. Why do I have to be the first one?! I hesitate for a while but then stand up slowly and proceed to move to the front of the bus. I can't think right now as everyone continues on clapping and cheering me on. I am praying that it won't be something embarrasing. I was just thinking about it and here I am being the first to be called. What a luck.

The lady shows me a box with papers in it and asks me to pick one out of the box. I follow the instructions with a little of hesitation. Come on, White. It can't be that bad, right? As I continue digging into the box, the woman starts explaining, "You just need to read what's on the paper as fast as you can." Tongue Twisters? Okay, that doesn't sound so bad. I tell myself while nodding to the woman and pulling out a piece of paper.

While trying to read the sentences the lady hands me the microphone and signals me to read out loud. Unfolding the paper, I can see that it is written in roman but unfortunately, I can't understand a word. "Okay, ready?" The woman asks me as she urges me to start reading. Now everyone in the bus is whistling and cheering for me. I look quickly through the crowd, curious if that certain someone is also cheering. After a little trouble, I manage to find him at the back. Although he isn't cheering, his face is smiling as he tries to look through the crowd at me. "You don't have to make sense out of it." Said the lady as she smiled encouragingly, "You just need to read the words as fast as you can." 

Taking a deep breath, I proceed to read what I can see from the paper. I am trying my best to read what's on the paper without any glitches but tongue twisters are so hard and I stumble on my words a couple of times. After completing the whole sentence, I can hear everyone laughing. I can't blame them, I also can't stop myself from giggling. "Okay, Lets give White a round of applause! He did good!" Said the lady while showing me back to my seat. Without looking at the other passengers, I reach to my seat and sit down. "You did great, P, even though I couldn't understand a word you said. It is too high level for me." Captain continues to tease me, making me feel at ease. Even though there's no progress, at least we can still be back to where we were. "It was hard. I didnt understand it myself!" I look at him and we both laugh in unison. 

"And now the next to come in front would be.... Captain!" I watch as Captain's face changes when he hears his name being called. His eyes widen and his mouth falls to the floor. Ha ha. Revenge is sweet. I can't contain my laughter as I look at Captain's expression. "Oh god. I don't want to go." Captain says through clenched teeth and I whisper an encouragement as I push him forward.  Reluctantly Captain goes infront. I can see how nervous he is. The lady signals Captain to pick a piece of paper from the box given to me earlier. While trying to grab one piece out, Captain turns to look at me. His hand still inside the box but his eyes lock towards me as if trying to get some support and strength from me.

Smiling I look at him and raise a thumb up to him. He returns my smile and pulls one paper out. The lady passes the microphone to him and says something to him. I guess she is telling Captain the same things she said to me earlier. Captain nods and holds the microphone and looks down to read the paper out loud. His eyes widen and I burst in laughter. Turning to look at the audience, Captain tries his best to read whats on the paper. Everyone keeps on laughing as Captain continues to read. I don’t think anyone understands what he is saying and I am sure Captain doesn't either. Completing the task, Captain immediately returns the microphone and the paper to the lady and stumble his feet to return to his seat

. Captain didn’t say anything when he return back to his seat but I know he is really embarrassed. Captain covers his face with both of his hands. His ears are red. He is really embarrassed. How cute! The games continue as the lady calls some of the unfamiliar names. Ngern is lucky as his name never gets called. Just you wait Ngern, your time will come too. I said to myself as Ngern keeps teasing me and Captain. The journey continues as everyone continues to have fun and teasing each other. I know I will make everything better for Captain today. Even though I can still sense his uneasiness but I need to make sure he is not angry at me. The awkward feeling still lingers between us but we are making the effort to not affecting us that much. At least that is how I felt. I will continue to ask for his forgiveness until I get him to forgive me.

[Authors Point Of View]

OH  MY GOD. That took me so long to update. I am so sorry. I hope you enjoy. I will go and work on next chapter now. I AM SO SORRY, CHRISTINAAAAAAA