[Captain's Point Of View]

Today, I will be spending it with him again.

It will only be the two of us, as Phun and Noh, one more time.

Since we are the most anticipated performance of the concert, the director wanted to make sure that we had memorized our dance steps and lines to perfection. Even if some of the lines are from the original script, we still have to learn the choreographies and tune everything to fit a concert. Therefore, the director has called us here to focus on our performance and how we can improve it. Since the songs and my lines are from the series, I know them by heart by now and so it isn't as complicated. The real problem here is White, who suffers of a bad memory. I chuckle as I think about White. He has been working very hard in trying to learn his parts so he can sucessfully complete the tasks given to him. I wonder if he has memorized his parts yet or if he is still having trouble.

As I make my way inside the building, my mind suddenly remembers the conversations I've been having with Fame. He still insists that White reciprocates my feelings, making me feel more confused every time. If he were to have the same feelings I have, then why did he reject me in the first place? Why wait until this moment to tell me? I am barely moving on from him, why is he suddenly trying to destroy all of my progress? Honestly, I don't even know if I want to know what he feels or not. All I want is to have peace and to be able to breathe properly and I don't know if I'll have that if he were to confess to me at this moment.

As I continue to walk along the corridor, I keep thinking that Fame might be right. Why else would White follow us that night? If he actually wanted to join us for dinner like a friend, he wouldn't have rejected Fame when he invited him, right? Why did he reject Fame's invitation and followed us secretly instead? What was he trying to prove and why was he doing that? Was he trying to look after me? Was he being a good friend or a good brother? But he knows that Fame is a good person. There was no reason for White to distrust him. Or was he doing it because he was jealous of Fame? Can I think to that extreme even though White has already made it clear that he doesn't have feelings towards me? Or does he? Argh! Why is he mixing me up like this now?! I have so many questions in my head and I need a proper answer to them. I want to hear what White has to say about it.

As I enter the room we will be using as our practice area, my eyes begin searching for that particular person. I have so many questions and I need answers. Not just simple answers, but answers that can make all of my uncertainties disappear. Although I want to believe what Fame is telling me, I want to confirm it first. And in order to do that, I need to be brave and face White. I want to know the truth, no matter how painful this one might be. I want to get rid of all of this hope before it grows bigger and consumes me.

My eyes finally stop at a corner of the room, where I can see White talking to one of the staff members. When he turns around and realizes my presence, he whispers something to the staff member and proceeds to walk towards me. My heart feels like it will jump out of my chest as he continues walking in my direction, his gaze fixed onto mine. As he grows closer, his lips form a smile. This smile is different from the ones he usually shows me. This one has a hint of hurt, as if he was trying to hide the pain behind a smile. I can't help but to wonder if he is still feeling hurt because of me. Perhaps I should apologize for what happened.. No! I have to ask him first. Apologies will come later. Pulling myself together, I try to gather strenght to ask him. I'm here for answers and I won't leave before I get them.

[White's Point Of View]

After that night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Captain. Day and night are filled with his memories. I've even found myself searching the internet for clips when we were together. That includes the series, the interviews, not to mention, all the pictures where we are together. The fear of losing him has been tormenting me after the day I followed him to the restaurant. I can't remember how many times I've reached for my phone with the purpose of calling him, to demand for answers. What is your relationship with Fame? Are you really over me? Don't you love me anymore? I want to ask him all of these questions, but cowardice beats me and I end up with empty hands.  Time is running and I fear that later it might not be able to hold him anymore. That is why I have been really looking forward to today. Today, I will be able to see him again and claim him as "mine", even if it's just as illusion. I will be able to hear him sing. To hear his obnoxious laugther. And most importantly, to hold him in my arms. I'm so excited for him to arrive but at the same time, I'm scared that none of that will be enough at the end of the day.

As one of the staff members informs me today's plan, I hear the door of the room swing open and turn around to find a familiar figure standing by the entrance. By his heavy breathing and raced chest, I can tell that he is nervous about something as he looks around the room. When he finally spots me, his heavy breathing slows down as he looks at me with a troubled expression. For some reason, I feel that whatever he has to say has to do with me. What if he wants to tell me that he is in a relationship with Fame? What if he wants to rub it in my face? Gulping down the fear that is currently building, I excuse myself and start to walk towards him.

As I walk towards Captain, I can see the features of his face clearer. As I look at his face, I notice that Captain is really anxious right now. I am not sure about why, but his nervousness is making me nervous. I don't want to make things hard and awkward, so I throw Captain the best smile that I can form in an attempt to ease the tension. As I approach him and make a stop in front of him, I decide to greet him casually to hide the awkwardness I feel inside, "Hello!"

"Do you have a minute? There's something I want to ask you.", Captain asks me in a shaking voice, taking me aback by his fowardness.

"I-is there anything wrong?", I stutter without realizing it, giving away how nervous I am feeling right now.

"No. Nothing is wrong. I just want to clear up something with you. I hope you don't mind if we go outside, where we can talk privately?", He tells me as he signals me to the door, making my heart race even more. If he wanted some privacy, it meant that it was something serious. Nodding my head slowly, I begin to follow his track.

Once we have reached an empty corridor, I force the words to come through my mouth, "So? What's up? What did you wanted to talk about?" Although I'm trying to sound casual and nonchalant, I can hear the concern in my own voice. I know that he can hear it as well, as he is looking at me with an apologetic expression. 

"Well, hmm. I saw you outside my house the other night.. after I came back from eating with Fame.. And I was wondering, were you perhaps, I don't know, following me..?", He finishes after what felt like an eternity, and my heart stops in my chest. I couldn't believe it! I had been caught! He knew that I had been following him! What could I say now?! 

Feeling the blood in my veins run faster, I said defensively, "Following you?! What makes you think that?!" 

"Well, I don't know.. The fact that I saw you outside my house?", He told me, as if stating the obvious. 

"You must have mistaken me with someone else. I was busy with my work and I don't have the time to follow you around.", I said roughly, making the person in front of me flinch. He looked at me with hurt before his expression turned of that of annoyance, "No! I'm sure it was you! I saw you come out of your car from my window. You were wearing the same clothes you wore to rehearsal. It's as if you followed me straight from there. You kept pacing from a side to the other, looking troubled."

"I don't know what you're talking about.", I continued denying it uselessly, trying to save myself from the shame. I didn't even know why I kept on trying. It's not like there was a way out. All the proofs were out already. The only thing I was achieving was making Captain mad. 

"You don't have to deny it, White. It's not that I'm mad or anything. You can tell me if there's something, I'll understand.", He assured me, as he placed a rigid hand in my shoulder, in an attempt to reassure me. But the more he talked, the more threatened I felt. 

"No, I have nothing to tell you. I wasn't following you. I was just on my way to my next schedule, but coincidentally it was the same way to your house.", I continued lying, hoping for him to stop interrogating me. I knew that he knew that I was lying, but I was hoping he wouldn't press on it anymore. 

"Why are you denying it? It makes you look as if you were hiding something.", His hand left my shoulder and came to his chest, where he had crossed his arms. 

"I am not hiding anything.. I already told you. I wasn't following you.", I ruffled my hair in exasperation. 

"Are you sure?! You are sounding very defensive. It only makes me grow more suspicious.", He said in disbelief, quirking an eyebrow. 

"No, I am not being defensive. You keep pressuring me, that's why!", My voice came out louder and harsher than I intended it, making him frown in anger.

"I'm pressuring you because I don't like being lied to!", He screamed back at me, his eyes glittering in anger by now.

"I am not-", Before I can lie again, I'm interrupted by his voice. "I've always been honest with you so I expected you to be the same way! But you aren't! You keep on lying to me even though there's proof of what I'm saying! Why are you being such a coward?!", He kept on screaming at me, making me fall silent. He was right. I was being a coward.

"Captain.. I was just.. I am not ready.. Can we drop the subject please..?", I tell him in a pleading whisper, almost begging for his acceptance. 

Letting out a exhausted sigh, Captain looks at me bitterly, before talking in a cold ice voice, "Fine! If you don't want to tell me, then I understand. I was just.. hoping you would trust me more. I guess it won't happen.."

"Captain please..", I try to make him understand, but he turns around. 

"Let's just.. just stop..", He said wryly as he began to walk away.

"Captain, I am sorry but I really don't know what to say..", I follow after him, trying to get him to look at me.

"You don't have to say anything. Everything is clear."

"Please, Captain. Listen to me. I don't want you to misunderstand me. Please, can you please look at me?"

"Misunderstand what?! I said I completely understood. Just leave it.", He was trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew that he was angry.

"Captain..", I tried once again, but my voice was hushed by a louder voice. 

"Shut up! I said I understood. We. Are. Done.", He said with a sense of finality, making me freeze in track at the harshness in his voice. Wait. He said that we are done. We are done with what? Done as in done with talking? Or done as in done with us? Is there even an us anymore? Oh my god. I just ed up tremendously. He is angry at me, what do I do?

As I make my way towards the practice room where I know he awaits, I feel more and more helpess. Why does it have to end this way? Why do we need to fight? This is all my fault, isn't it? Captain is right. I am a coward and I am not being honest to him and to myself. Now he is angry with me and I am here, not knowing what to do. My heart aches when I see him sitting at a corner of the room. Although he is looking at his phone screen, I know that he isn't really paying attention to it. There's this air around him that tells me that he is really hurt. And it's because of me that he is hurt. I really regret it so much. But what can I do? What should I say? Captain, please don't be angry with me.. I keep saying silently as if it was the most important prayer I've made. What am I going to do? I need to make him happy again. Yes, I need to do that. I don't care how but I just need to see him smile again. 

Moving slowly towards him, I keep on thinking about what should I do or say in order to make up with him. Captain won't look at me but I will make every effort to change that. "White? Captain? Finally you are here! We have been waiting for you two so we can start the rehearsal!", Suddenly my steps stop as I hear P'Tit call for us. Argh. Damn it. I guess I will have to tell him during the rehearsal. Yes.. Yes.. I will use that time to make sure that Captain is back to himself again.

[Captain's Point Of View]

If I could scream right now, I would want to scream to release all the tension that has built inside of me. I just don't understand why White refuses to tell me the truth. What is the matter with him? What is he hiding? All of this is making me feel angry but I'm not sure who I feel angry towards, towards him or towards myself. Am I angry because I expected something more from him? Was I really hoping for our relationship to make an unexpected turn? I promised myself to never expect anything from us. Then why am I stumbling over the same stone? Argh! It's all of his fault! He is the one making it difficult!

The rehearsal continues as I make every effort to make sure our connection is solely based on the script but White is proposed on making it difficult. Each time we touch, he will make sure to linger a little longer. He would apply more pressure when he touches me, he would hug me a little tighter. I have to push him whenever we make pause to hear the instructions because I am no longer comfortable inside his embrace. Each time I do so, I can see the hurt in his eyes. But I don't want to give in, not until he is true to himself and tells me the truth. I want him to explain what is going on. I know he is trying to protect me from the truth, but I don't need to be protected. I have already gotten my hopes crushed, I can take it if it were to happen again. This uncertainty is killing me and I need answers.

As we take a break, White is still trying to look after me. He won't let me out of his sight, even as he makes his way towards the cooler. After he returns, he slumps next to me and passes me a water bottle. "Here. You might be thirsty.", He tells me with a faint smile, his eyes scanning my face to see if I am okay or not. I never thought I would say this, but he is making me feel suffocated. I decline the water bottle by shaking my head and focus on my phone instead, trying to give him the hint that I don't want to talk to him right now.

"Oi. Are you okay? You haven't been talking to me. If there's something you want to say, just say it.", He said in a soft voice, bumping my shoulder in a friendly manner. White. I am still feeling stressed by everything that happened, why are you making it more difficult? Why are you trying to ignore it and make it seem like nothing happened? But he continues talking, making me grow more annoyed, "Come on, Captain. Don't be like this. You're over exaggerating."

That's it. I've had enough.

"White, can you please leave me alone? I want to be alone for a while.", I ordered him, making him shudder beside me.

"What? What do you mean? I just want to make sure you are okay..", He stutters in his words, giving in that he is nervous.

"Okay?! Does it look like I am okay?!", I screamed at him, getting the other people in the room to look at us with questioning eyes.

Letting out a sigh to calm the anger that was rising, I tried to lower my voice and speak clearly, "Look. I just need some time to breathe, okay? Please leave." 

"Fine! I admit it! I followed you when you went out with Fame after the rehearsal! Are you happy?", I heard him say in resignation, making my anger subside slowly. But besides the resignation, i could also hear a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

"Hmm. Why did you follow me?", I brought myself to ask him, searching his eyes for an answer.

"I.. I can't tell you that. I am sorry.", He said with a blank expression.

As I look at the person in front of me, I am trying to read what is in his mind. Why can't he just let me know what is happening without hiding anything? Why is he making everything so complicated? The anger that had been keeping me company is now coming back to consume me. I need to move away from him. I need to breathe alone. As I look at his blank expression, I roll my eyes and stand up, proceeding to walking away.

Suddenly, I can feel a hand grabbing me and turning me around. Before I can process what is happening, I am inside of his embrace. Wait?! What is this?! My mind is suddenly blank with his unexpected movement. Why is he doing this now? I want to push him but this person tightens his hold on me as if I am the most precious thing to him. I am still trying to balance myself from the sudden movement when I hear him whisper into my ear, "Please.. Wait a little longer.. You will know eventually, I promise.. But not yet.. I'm not ready yet.."

I freeze in his embrace and I can feel the other person trembling as he holds me closely. Wait,what?! What is happening? What is he trying to tell me?! Am I hearing things or did he just told me to wait for him?! Slowly, White releases me and  holds me by the shoulders to look at me. I can see the same hurt in his eyes, but now that pain is deepening. At this unexpected request, I can't utter any words at all. All I can do is look at him, feeling more confused than before. Before I can bring myself to mouth my questions, White turns around and immediately walks away to a corner of the room. Why did White say that? What is he trying to do here? I am really confused with everything. I look acorss the room at his direction trying to search for an answer but the more I look at him the more confused I become. Has White's feelings for me change? No.. That could not be happening, right? He has Tina and he already made it clear that he didn't feel the same way before? 

In the middle of the silence, I hear an awkward cough coming from the director and I'm reminded that we weren't alone. "I'm sorry to inform you, guys but.. the break is over.. Let's get back to work.", The director orders us and I watch as White stands up from the floor and approaches me. Shaking my head to get rid of all the questions, I decide to concentrate on my work for the remaining time. Looking at him one more time, I smile faintly trying to reassure him that I'm okay now. This seems to ease him and his tense shoulders relax. 

If he is asking me to wait for him, I will wait for him no matter how long that wait might take.

[Author's Point Of View]

Hello, dear subscribers! This is Aleyda again. So since I've been busy in the past weeks doing school work, I haven't been able to update my other fanfics. Thankfully, there's only three exams left to take then I'll be done with this year! So yeah that might be in a week or two, so please keep waiting patiently. Anyways, I hope you keep enjoying the reality meanwhile.. And let's thank our lovely christina for her hard work. She's been the one to write the whole chapter, I would just edit it. THANK YOU, DEAR! 

On another note, is pretty cool to see that people from other countries are reading. Today, I read a portuguese comment and it made my day. I don't really speak portuguese but I can understand some of it? It's pretty similar so spanish so yeahh.. It's pretty coool and made me wonder where are all of you from!

PS: Im updating on friday because I was able to edit this one on tuesday, but I dont know if next week Ill be able to update on friday or on sunday