Junmyeon is in the middle of wrapping numerous gifts when a long-drawn whine cuts through the apartment, soon followed by two hectic voices, one higher and one lower. Abandoning the pile for a moment, Junmyeon closes the bedroom door behind her firmly and makes her way over to the bathroom to check on what drama occurred between her three children this time.

True to prediction she finds Eunbyul with a tears streamed face on her stool in front of the sink and her toothbrush in her left hand while Tao and Sehun stand on each side and stare at her panicked, hasty words trying to soothe the crying five year-old to no avail.

“What happened here?” Junmyeon interrogates and shoots her two sons a look that says they better tell the truth from the start. Sehun looks to the floor and his ears are ringing red from embarrassment, identifying himself as the culprit right away.
“I was reaching for the toothpaste and knocked Eunbyul’s hourglass down.” He admits quietly, the hushed tone making his voice even deeper.
“He broke it!” Eunbyul wails accusingly and wipes her face with her left arm, accidentally brushing toothpaste into her hair in process.

Junmyeon takes the toothbrush from Eunbyul’s hands and places it aside before peering into the sink. Pieces of broken glass lie between pink glitter sand and Junmyeon would admire the artistic value of it if not for Eunbyul still making shrill noises at the height of her hips.
“It was an accident.” Sehun defends himself with an expression that is a mix of guilt and upsetness. Of course Junmyeon knows he did not mean for the hourglass to fall, but she also knows that for Eunbyul her world shattered along with the glass.

“But I got it from Yubi!” Eunbyul sobs and shrugs Sehun’s hand on her shoulder off. The frown in his features deepens and he reaches for his own hourglass, holding it out to Eunbyul in offer.
“I am really really sorry for breaking it, Eunbyullie. You can have mine, okay?”
“I don’t want your stupid hourglass, I want mine!” Eunbyul cries “You’re not my favorite brother anymore.”

Sehun flinches away as if he had been hit. The hand holding the hourglass curls around the object as he struggles to keep his feelings under control, but they are boiling to surface anyway and his expression contorts in pain, eyes starting to water.
“Well, then don’t, you brat.” He yells back at her and storms out of the bathroom before anyone can stop him. Junmyeon sighs as fresh tears spring to Eunbyul’s eyes.

“Taozi, can you make it whole again?” Eunbyul pleads her oldest brother and Tao mirrors Junmyeon’s sigh.
“I wish I could, Byul. But I can’t. You know, sometimes things break and we cannot repair them anymore no matter how hard we try.” Tao struggles to explain and shoots his mother a pleading look.
“But you haven’t even tried.” Eunbyul hiccups, causing Tao to frown.

Tao does what he always does best when he is out of ideas how to reason with their stubborn youngest. He hoists her down from the stool and grins.

“What do you say, should Ge watch a Barbie movie with you?”
“Yes! The Swan Lake one!” Eunbyul immediately exclaims, drama around the hourglass momentarily forgotten. Junmyeon smiles equally relieved and grateful at Tao as Eunbyul turns to her with a pleading smile.
“Can we, Mommy?”
“Alright, but after that you will brush your teeth with me and go to bed without protest, are we clear?”
“Crystal clear!” Eunbyul cheers and hops out of the bathroom. Tao follows her with a “don’t worry, I’ll make her sleepy” and leaves Junmyeon to clean out the sink.

She manages to recover most of the sand, gathering it in a small glass, but the hourglass itself has shattered in many tiny pieces. Ten minutes and a pinzette later she collected most parts, but Junmyeon wonders if anything can be saved at all. There seems next to no way to reconstruct the hourglass.

Her cellphone sings Sistar’s latest hit, a signal that Yifan is calling her from the office in China.
“Are you calling to tell me that you’ll have to stay in Beijing another day?” Junmyeon asks as she picks up the call.
“No?” Yifan replies after a short pause, clearly confused. “Actually Sehun just called me to ask if there is a super glue for porcelain or glass, but he didn’t want to tell me what happened. Did something break?”

Warmth spreads from Junmyeon’s heart at the words and she peeks into the hallway, staring at Sehun’s closed door. As the good parent that Yifan is he is always easily concerned about what he missed out on.

“Big drama.” Junmyeon begins to explain “Sehun accidentally knocked Eunbyul’s hourglass into the sink, you know, the one Yubi brought her from Beijing and they fought and now everyone is upset in one way or another. You call me in the middle of trying to rescue what is left.”
“Oh, I can imagine.” Yifan groans over the line and Junmyeon sympathizes with the heavy sigh he lets. “Now Sehun’s call makes a lot more sense. How big is the damage exactly?”
“If you ask me it is too big to fix. There are so many tiny splinters, I doubt we can glue them all back into place.”

“How fortunate it is that I happen to be in Beijing right now.” Yifan slowly starts and Junmyeon cannot help agreeing that there finally is an upside to Yifan being needed in their subsidiary more frequently for the past half year.
“Do you think you can try finding another one?”
“I can’t promise, but you know I will try to move worlds for our little star. I’ll give Yeeun a call and ask where they bought it from. Let’s hope she remembers.”
“Thank you. I love you.” Junmyeon says fondly and stares at his toothbrush in their shared toothbrush tumbler.

Although it has only been four days since Yifan last was at home, Junmyeon still cannot get used to him spending weekdays and sometimes weekends out of the country. Waking up alone is no longer something she is used to and she misses having Yifan pressed to her back and being engulfed by his scent and body warmth. She misses his shelter, his security and his helping hand in the household, just as it is hard that she cannot withdraw sometimes for a few minutes by herself, because there is always something happening. The hourglass incident is a prime example of that.

This is something she has to endure, however, because Yifan’s promotion means a higher income and considering that they feed three children with irregular growing spurts, of which two are at the wake of puberty, they can use all the extra money. As Eunbyul’s godmother Baekhyun is a blessing during these times, sometimes staying over to lend help and at work she fills Yifan’s old position extremely well. The separation from Taeyeon had been challenging, although amicable and at least pushed her forward in her career. There is someone she is texting a lot lately, but Junmyeon resists prodding her about it. Come time she will be the first to know.

“I miss you, Junmyeon.”

Perhaps Junmyeon is just projecting, but Yifan sounds melancholic and lonely to her. The family is his greatest joy and the separation is hard on all of them. Junmyeon has had her share of discussions with Eunbyul about not being able to “bring Daddy home now!” and it is a sign that she barely gets Yifan for herself during the weekend, because three children are clinging to him like dear life. Tao and Sehun confide in him with issues they do not like to share with Junmyeon for obvious reasons. Tao specifically struggles with his mutation and the embarrassment over his cracking voice. Sehun mostly keeps to himself with his thoughts unless he cannot figure them out himself, but he looks for Yifan’s physical assurance when his stepfather is at home.

“You’ll be here soon and then it is not until the end of February that the project is through and you’ll be back in Seoul more often. They are currently setting up our new rooms and luckily Baekhyun’s motion to have you right next to us has been accepted.”
“She could have that room for herself, after all she’s the new director.” Yifan says thoughtfully over the line.
“She could, but then again this is Byun Baekhyun who gains the most energy from being with people instead of secluded from them. And she is technically family, you know she wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“True. I just hope we can really wrap this up in time. All the flying is exhausting on the long run and the longer I stay here the more I am at risk to gain too much weight.”

“Mama Wu is feeding you well, huh?” Junmyeon laughs amused. Her future mother-in-law uses the opportunity of her son staying with her to spoil him. Junmyeon sympathizes, aware that she is of the same brand when it comes to her own children.
“Don’t worry, I’ll still love you when you have more meat on you.”
“I know, but I won’t be satisfied with myself if I can’t fit into my suit pants anymore.”
“Hear, hear. Tell me, is it that Taozi’s fashion obsession rubs off on you or is it the other way round with your slight vanity.”
“Look at you pretending that you aren’t attracted to the positive aspects of that flaw.” Yifan teases back with a flirtatious tone that Junmyeon immediately adapts.
“Well, it has been far too long that I got to peel you out of a suit, you know?”

Yifan promises her a chance to for his return in the upcoming week when Sehun’s door opens and his head peeks out. Junmyeon ends the call with a kiss and the promise to give each child a goodnight kiss from Yifan, staring back at Sehun who still hides behind his bedroom door.

“Can I have some pocket money, Mom?”
“What for?” Junmyeon inquires, because she cannot help herself. Sighing Sehun steps out of his room, shuffles over to her and hugs her waist.
“I want to buy Eunbyul a really cool, new hourglass.” Sehun mumbles and Junmyeon hugs him back.

Although clumsy due to his lankiness and height, Sehun is a forgiving and kind person and Junmyeon had taught Tao and him to make amends where they could. Among her three Sehun is the one holding grudges for the shortest time and naturally it is hard for him to stay mad at Eunbyul. For all that the three siblings get into conflicts and fights with one another, their bound is stronger than a few hurtful words.

“Sure. Do you want me to come with you?” Junmyeon offers. Baekhyun will hopefully allow her to take some hours off. Sehun shakes his head however.
“I want to choose one myself.”
“Alright.” Junmyeon says and gets her wallet.
“Do you promise me to be more careful next time?”
“Of course.” Sehun huffs offended and Junmyeon lets him go.

.

.

Later that night Junmyeon finally has all gifts wrapped up. Every year the pile grows along with her children’s wishes and she never forgets to have something for Yubi and Kangjun, Tao’s and Sehun’s other step-siblings. For Yifan she decided on a gift that fits into a small envelope but is much bigger than a piece of paper can measure.

“You won’t have to worry about birthday and Christmas gifts ever again.” Yifan had told her five years and a month ago, tears clinging to his eyelashes and sweat running from his forehead “Because you just gave me the greatest gift I could ever have asked for.”
That had been after six stressful hours of waiting for Eunbyul to finally turn, their daughter’s determination to come out with her tiny first already foreshadowing how strong-willed she would be.

Water had broken during dinner as Junmyeon was laughing a little too hard about an animated story Tao was telling them and she calmly called Wei Zhe to have him pick the boys up while a panicked Yifan drove her to hospital. Shortly after Midnight Eunbyul had decided she kept them on their toes for long enough, turned and in the blink of an eye she made her entrance into her parents’ world. Junmyeon was sure she almost broke Yifan’s hand and they were both exhausted, tired and sweaty, but nothing was as rewarding as the surge of love flushing hot through her body when they laid the small, wet, breathing product of her happiness onto her chest.

Her happiness had grown beyond everything she knew up to that point and all remaining doubts and fears about having Eunbyul had vanished, had never occurred again. Yifan had been in awe with his daughter right away, proud father through and through and Tao and Sehun had immediately picked up fighting over their little sister, a habit present with Yubi as well so Junmyeon had at least an idea how to handle it.

A soft knock and the door being slowly pushed open tears Junmyeon from her reveries. Eunbyul is in her favorite nightgown with Disney’s Mulan on the front and Junmyeon can tell from the cast down look that her youngest has realized she has not behaved innocently either in the previous conflict. Junmyeon opens her arms and lets Eunbyul sink into them, hugging her close to her chest and pressing a kiss to her temple when she hears slight sobs.

“Do you think Hunnie hates me now?” Eunbyul croaks into her shoulder.
“I don’t think he does.” Junmyeon assures her. “He probably is upset because he sincerely apologized to you and you said something mean, but he loves you very much. You’re his Byullie after all, right?”
“Right.” Eunbyul sniffles and Junmyeon wipes the salty droplets from her cheeks.

“Sehun offered you to use his hourglass because he is sorry. What do you think is the best thing to do now, hm? ” Junmyeon carefully prods.
“Ask if I can still use it?” Eunbyul asks and Junmyeon nods.
“And?”
“Say sorry too.”
“That’s correct. You go ask him and Mommy gets your toothbrush ready, okay?”
“Okay!” Eunbyul agrees and gets up with a determined look, without doubt heading right to Sehun’s room. Junmyeon’s eyes follow her fondly and she smiles content as she passes by her middle child’s room and hears Sehun soft, warm voice mixing with Eunbyul’s.

~

~

It is very well past Midnight that a creaking noise has Junmyeon jolt awake. Slightly disorientated she flips on the lamp on her nightstand and sits up, grabbing for her glasses. There are two dull sounds like something hitting the ground and dragging over wood that increases in volume before it stops right in front of her bedroom door. Junmyeon has no time to find an object for defense when the handle is pushed down and the door swings open silently.

“Did I wake you?”

With tired eyes and his luggage right behind him, Yifan stands in the door frame and smiles apologetic. But Junmyeon is not sorry, does not care that tomorrow is Tuesday and she should sleep, because it is her last working day for the year. Finally Yifan is home.

Instead of answering she opens her arms and Yifan immediately abandons his belongings in favor of climbing onto the bed and crawling right up into her arms. His hold is tight, his face buried into her neck. Junmyeon can tell by the cold drag of air across her skin that he is inhaling her scent.
“I didn’t expect you until tomorrow evening. The kids were begging me to pick you up together.”
“Couldn’t wait. Took the next flight right after the last meeting.” Yifan mumbles and then he pulls back and caresses her face, just staring at her.

Seven or six years ago Junmyeon would have squirmed uncomfortably under his intense gaze. It speaks of appreciation and adoration, strong and unwavering and so overwhelming that she used to feel insecure and that she was not measuring up to the pedestal Yifan placed her on. However, she knows by now that Yifan is aware of her shortcomings and instead of dimming his affections, the knowledge had amplified them. Her imperfections seem to give Yifan even more reason to love her. After she made the decision to have Eunbyul, Junmyeon finally accepted Yifan’s way of loving her without second-guessing him or herself, but it had been a long way until she finally found herself deserving of being loved so unconditionally.

“Gorgeous. So gorgeous.” Yifan repeats with a gentle smile and Junmyeon laughs slightly, because she forgot to shower, only removed her makeup with half a heart and she knows her hair is a mess.
“Have you seen my hair?”
“My gorgeous love with greasy hair, a washed out nightgown and remains of smudged eyeliner.” Yifan insists and wipes at the corner of her left eye. “Distance makes you see all the gorgeous things about a person that you have seen up close too often to properly appreciate them.”
“Are you having your 3am philosophical thoughts?” Junmyeon teases.
“It’s not even 1am.” Yifan points out and then he pulls away and gets up to put the luggage into a corner and close the bedroom door.

Junmyeon observes him as he slowly moves around while trying not to make enough noise to wake the rest of the flat. His urgency to come home is evident in his whole attire, suit pants now wrinkled but still molding nicely into his thighs and a simple wine red tie firmly in place. Yifan looks exactly how one should if they walked out of a conference room, hailed a cab and drove off to the airport, nothing on their mind but their family waiting at home.

At this time of the day and so shortly before Christmas Junmyeon allows relief to wash over her. Yifan belongs home with them and frankly if Junmyeon had a say he would not return to Beijing in the new year at all. But she cannot be so selfish. Yifan really loves the project and happily puts his energy into it. It will be all worth it in the end.

“Come to bed. You can still settle back in tomorrow.” Junmyeon begs as he opens his luggage.
“Today, technically.” Yifan tacks on sweetly and stands at his side of the bed.
“What stops you from flopping your tall self onto this mattress then?”
“I recall you telling me a few days back that you miss peeling me out of a suit.”
“It’s past Midnight, Yifan.”
“Is that a no?”
“Are you pouting?”
“Maybe.”

Junmyeon laughs and crawls over, grabbing his tie and pulling him down for a kiss.
“Alright, but quiet. If I have you for myself for a bit then I don’t want to be disturbed by our three devils.”

.

.

Eunbyul is not quiet at all on Christmas Eve - neither in the morning nor the evening. Yifan has locked himself in with Sehun for a few hours, acting very secretive and leaving Junmyeon alone to deal with two equally excited children. Baking proves to be the best solution to distract Tao and Eunbyul, the two producing an army of cookie stars, hearts and Christmas trees. Their joy is pure and unaltered, something Junmyeon hopes they will not lose later on in life.

Yeeun comes by with Wei Zhe and the kids around 3pm and heads off to Church with Yifan and the other three. Junmyeon stays behind as always, using the time to get last things perfected and starting to cook. A guest bed needs to be set up, presents be draped under the Christmas tree and her parents will drop by for a tea and to leave behind presents for their grandchildren and a big one for Yifan.

Chaos interrupts again when her family is back from Church. Sehun rambles excited about the nativity play and tells her that he prayed for Yifan to be home more in an earnest tone that warms Junmyeon’s heart. Tao seems mostly unfazed by the service, both Eunbyul and he rattling at the handle to the living room. It is locked. Her boyfriend meanwhile has other concerns.

“Why is there a trunk by our door?” Yifan interrogates while Junmyeon stirs a simple tomato soup.
“One of your Christmas presents.” Junmyeon replies distracted.
“Are you that upset about me being away so much that you got me another trunk?” Yifan asks softly with a hint of sadness in his voice. Junmyeon abandons stirring for a moment to plant a big kiss on his lips.
“Don’t be stupid. Here’s the key to the living room, why don’t you check with the kids if Santa has visited already?”
“Okay.” Yifan replies after a moment of hesitance and consideration and heads out.

Junmyeon stands and listens. Hears the lock click, the door open with a creaking noise and the children storming in.

Seconds of silence.

A gentle voice, Chinese words.
“Surprise.”

A unison shout of surprise and glee.
“Mama Wu!”

In the kitchen Junmyeon smiles to herself. Being a buddhist does not mean Junmyeon will not create the greatest Christmas possible for her family.

.

Tomorrow after a hearty brunch they will unpack their gifts. Eunbyul will be screeching in excitement over the Mulan hourglass Sehun bought her, only to go mute in wonder over her old, now repaired hourglass - a fragile construction and only with enough sand for a minute and ten seconds but functioning nonetheless as Yifan assures. They can just turn it another time, Sehun explains.

There will be new training clothes and a Wushu sword for Tao, among other things and the Swiss designer watch Mama Wu bought for a fair price through connections. Sehun will almost tear up over the expensive three-day training class by a star choreographer from the States which he did not dare asking for if he could attend it and squeal at his new mp3 player.

Yifan, unsuspecting and in the firm belief that his mother’s visit is his gift for the year, will crush Junmyeon in a terrible tight hug over the cards for the special Chicago Bulls vs. Ulsan Mobis Phoebus game in March. It will match nicely with his gift for her, an imitation of Obi Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber, both forever indulging the other in their shticks.

Junmyeon knows that at some point on Christmas Day she will find herself sitting and observing her beloved ones with what Tao dubbed her mother hen look. The children will busy themselves with unwrapping gifts and showing off to each other, Yifan and his mother attentively making noises of interest and wonder and Junmyeon?

Junmyeon will recall that she has all this happiness, warmth and mutual care, because at one point over seven years back she found herself in her supervisor’s car after a pleasant dinner with an attentive, honest and straight-forward man and decided to take a chance on love again.

She has no regrets.