M-A-R-K T-U-A-N

Call me crazy, because I cannot help myself for not squealing every time I heard someone mentioning his name.

G-O-T-7

Call me a hardcore fan of that group, since the visual of the new rising boy group successfully stole my heart ever since the day they made their debut one year ago.

Actually, this is my first time I was being like this. I am a normal girl who ever falling in love with someone special before. I experienced the bittersweet of love life before. And everybody knows that Jung Eunji is a social butterfly who could easily making friends with male and female idols. But, in this case, I can be a different person. I could become the shy girl whenever I see him in my sight.

Wanna know the reason why?

Simple. He has a sweetest gummy smile that I’ve ever seen. He has good shape nose that I adored. He has a pair of cute eyes that I always wanted to stare. He has a good skill in rapper. He could speak English and has an amazing martial art talent – I fell for everything he has.

I got so many chances to know him more. First of all, is during Apink’s comeback on December last year. We made a comeback at the same time. We were promoting for ‘LUV’ while his group make a new comeback with ‘Stop Stop It’. We’ve met a lot during the shows, but instead, I just could only smile awkwardly whenever he greets me and my member with his friends.

The second chance came, when JYP Entertainment decided to make a special performance for Music Bank’s Christmas Special last year and Got7 happened to sing ‘Ms. Chu’. We have a chance to know each other since their manager told us to give some dancing tips during their performance. But, once again, I ended up being a clumsy person though I really have a good chance to start some random conversations with him. And to my surprise, Bomi stole the chance. She and Jr admitted that they were officially dating after the show ends. What luck?!

Another chance came. This time, my group along with GOT7, EXO, Block B, Shinee and Sistar went to Vietnam for Music Bank concert. Our group stood next to each other, and I didn’t know why Mark stood near us. So, Chorong helped me and ask me to placing myself beside him. And I succeed. I used the chance to steal some glances to him and I didn’t care that many of fan cams would catch me. I just couldn’t take any longer for not staring at him in that close distance! But, like Jinyoung had said, Mark is indeed a cool guy. So, he didn’t even steal a glance to my direction though I stood next to him! I’ve tried to catch his attention by playing my hair since the wind was strongly blowing at that time. It slightly hit his face, but he kept standing still like there was nothing happen! *pffttt…*

And God must love me because He gave me another chance again to get close to him. We have a same trip to America to perform in Korean Times Music Festival and we share a same hotel building. And when I woke up late before the rehearsal, I accidentally met him at the elevator and he was asking me to go to the venue together. It was the first time for me to have a proper conversation with him though it was felt so awkward and I could not hide it! So, instead of having another friendly conversation with him, I ended up being a lively statue and I know it was so frustrating!

On the next day, I woke up with a great headache. The next thing that I remembered, Naeun run to my bed with worry over her face. She asked me about what happened last night, and I ended up shaking my head because all I remembered just I drank so many liquors with Bada and another sunbaes. Then, I found another Apink members came inside my room and they put a same expression like Naeun. I asked them what happened, and I got a yell from Chorong that made me feel surprised.

“You’ve been drunk and you kissed Mark Tuan!”

Ah yes, I remember it… But, wait. What? I kissed who?

“You kissed the visual of Got7. You kissed Mark Tuan right on his lips. Fortunately the other idols already left and only our group witnessing that shameful scene,” this time Bomi spoke out.

“Eonnie, I think you’re bad drinking habit was too dangerous sometimes,”

I moved my gaze to Hayoung who patting my left arm. And a second later, I jumped from my bed and rushed to the restroom. Ignoring the headache that already gone somewhere only they know.

***

And here I am, standing with mix feelings right in front of his hotel room. I knocked the door already a couple second ago, and look like the owner of the room is on his way to opening it soon.

‘Jung Eunji, you’re pabo! How could you end up kissing him while he never knows you more than just a sunbae?’

I keep hitting my own head repeatedly while cursing my stupidity. I know that it’s shameful to meet him in person, but I should talk to him about it and clear the misunderstanding or I will lost my face forever whenever I’ve meet him again.

“Eunji sunbae?”

‘Argh! He’s finally open the door!’ I yelled to myself when caught his eyes widened in shock as he found my presence in front of his room.

I really wanted to run away as fast I can, but I know that I can’t be a chicken. I should face this problem and clear all of the misunderstanding now or never.

“H-Hi,” dang! I failed to act cool instead I ended up stuttering though it was just a greeting. Jung Eunji is collecting her shame in front of her crush. *sigh*

“Oh, hi,” he greeted back but he said nothing after. He kept staring at me with an unreadable expression and it create another awkward moment between us.

“I… I…” I tried to find right words to explain to him about last night. He kept staring at me with the same expression, so I decide leer my eyes on the other side to refusing an eye contact. “… I wanted to say sorry about last night’s accident…”

Finally I can say it, and I dare myself to stealing glance at him. “Accident? What kind of accident?”

I gulped hard since this guy seriously making me confuse. His question and his stoic voice tone. He acted like he didn’t ing care about the embarrassing thing that happened to me. I sighed deeply while looking down on my feet before eventually said, “The kissing accident… You should be remembering that I accidentally kissed you when I was getting drunk last night."

I kept staring on my shoes while waiting for him to react. And I started to feel my heart was breaking when he just slipped a word “Oh,” from his mouth to answering me. I know that I cannot cry in front of him because I’ll look like a weak girl in front of him. So, I should stay strong and act like I’m still okay though he blatantly showing his un-interest to me.

“I’ve already said my apology to you. So, I think I should go back to my room now,” I immediately excuse myself because I’m afraid that I will end up sobbing like baby in front of this guy.

I ever asked Bomi’s help to ask Jinyoung about . But, Jinyoung said that I better work hard to get his attention. I didn’t even know the reason why. And I think I found the reason now.

As I wanted to turn my body around, I could feel someone had grabbed my wrist and made me stop. And a second later, I could clearly hear his husky nasal voice was calling my name formally.

“Eunji sunbae, wait…”

I turned around to face him again in hesitation. And it surprised me because I found that he somehow fidgeting. “Y-yes?”

“I-I…” he stuttered on his words as he rubbed the back of his neck and it made me confuse more.

What your true mission, Mark Tuan?

“Uh…” he suddenly let out a soft chuckle and I could bet that it sounds so awkward. So, I dare myself to staring at him and too my surprise, I found a pink flush on his white cheeks.

Kyak! I couldn’t help for not squealing secretly because I could see his gummy smile at this close! I know it shameful to be heard, but kissing his random photos on my cell phone was being my habit since I found that I got a crush on this guy. I don’t care if my members always tease me as a desperate fangirl of him – because that is true…

“About the kiss…” he suddenly talking about ‘it’ and it made my heart skip a beat. “I think it’s too rude to mention it as an accident because… I found it’s cute…”

‘Am I just mishearing? Did Mark Tuan just say to me that the kiss was cute? Does it mean that he likes it?’  Once again, I found my odd behavior – being totally mute in front of my crush, is back though I really wanted to throw those questions to him right now.

“I’m sorry, but you should know that I was a shy person. So, I always ended up being mute whenever I feel nervous—”

“Coffee,”

“Huh?”

“Let’s grab some coffees together when you’re free. What do you think, Mark?”

I don’t know where my awkwardness suddenly gone. But, from what I’ve clearly remember, this cute adorable visual of Got7 nodded his head before his gummy smile widened after.

***

“Jiyeon-ah, chukkae!” I said happily while hugging T-ara’s maknae. Today, I came to a private restaurant in Itaewon that had been booked by her. She held 1st year anniversary with Lee Donggun and she told me that she just invited her families and her close friends, including me.