It’s almost a year and finally I have a chance to visit my hometown. Yes, I’m in Los Angeles now since me and members attend one of the biggest K-Pop festivals in America. It’s an honor for us since we will share a stage with our seniors in K-Pop industry, and we had chosen to spread K-Pop wave to America.

But the most things that I’ve waited for so long besides visiting my lovely family are, I can meet her again. I know it was so hard for her to letting me go to Seoul when I decided to join JYP Entertainment and finally made a debut as a part of GOT7 couple years ago. I know how hurt for her to letting me achieving my dream and sacrificing the relationship that we’ve built. But I’m sure; she will always wait for me because my heart is always belonging to her. And I should make it sure right now.

“Hyung, shall we go now?”

I snapped out as I heard Jinyoung’s voice from the back of the hotel room’s door.  “Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll be ready in 5 minutes,” I said while got up from my bed.

“Okay. I’ll make a quick visit to the room next to us then,” he winked with a big grin on his face before his appearance suddenly disappears from my sight. I can’t help for not chuckling to see his happiness. For me, Jinyoung is the nicest friend among the other members. I don’t say that the others are not good, they are all funny and good friends but Jinyoung is the closest friend for me.

I walk closer to the mirror to checking my appearance as I fixing my hair. I let out a soft grumble since I thought it was late enough to stylize it. So I decide to take a cap to covering my messy hair, and I bring my hoodie too. I send a text message to Jaebum to tell him that I’ll be come home late – he and the other members were going to take some meals outside since it was the first time for them to visiting Los Angeles. As I walk outside the room, I could hear a faint giggle coming from outside. I peek outside and found that it was coming from Jinyoung and his girlfriend, Yoon Bomi. They are standing in front of the girl’s room and have a chit-chat together. I decide to clear my throat to make them realizing my presence, and I succeed. Both of them are turning their gaze toward me at the same time.

“Oh, Mark hyung is ready,” Jinyoung said.

“Hi, Mark-ssi,” Bomi suddenly greet and made me quickly bowed to her.

“Anyeonghaseyo, sunbaenim,”

“Noona, I should go now. Is it okay?” Jinyoung move his gaze to his girlfriend again, and he earned a nod from the girl.

“Of course, it’s okay. I have a plan to go outside with Eunji too,” Bomi said without loosening the smile on her face.

“I’m sorry because I cannot come along with you,” Jinyoung pouted.

“Eyy, be patience okay? Remember, we’re idols,” Bomi place her palm on Jinyoung’s right cheek before she caress it softly. They seems totally ignoring my presence though.

“Um, I’m sorry. But, Jinyoung-ah, should we go now?” I decide to break their lovey-dovey moment, and made Jinyoung bid his goodbye to his girlfriend.

“See you again, noona. Take care.”

***

Silence was created inside the car. It had been 30 minutes since my eyes locked on the road. And strangely, Jinyoung didn’t even bother with the silence. And being a talkative person he was, I believe that he could sense that I’m not in a good mood so he chose to stare at the window of my car.

“Should you call her first, hyung?” he finally spoke out as my car arrived in front of the house.

“No, she said that she already waiting for me at her living room,” I said while locking my car and signaling Jinyoung to following my steps.

She lives in the same neighborhood with my family, so no wonder that we have a close relationship since we were child. As I walk closer to the main door of her house, I can feel that my heart is beating rapidly. Truth to be told, I really don’t know the first words that I should choose to great her. Should I say hi? Or should I deliberately say that I miss her so much?

“Just press it already, hyung,” Jinyoung reminds me as he could see that I was fidgeting since we arrived right in front of the thick wooden door.

I nodded before press the bell hesitantly. ‘Yah, Mark Tuan. Didn’t you miss her? What took you so long for just pressing the bell?’ I really feel that I am the silliest person on Earth.

And no need to wait too long. The door opened and revealing her presence -- The girl that I really wanted to see during my busy schedules with my group -- The most beautiful girl that I’ve known – The one and only girl that I loved. I just made a plan some second ago that instead of greet her; I’ll just end up pull her into my embrace to express how much I miss her. But, when the chance is coming, I don’t know why I just ended up being like a statue in front of her.

She was there already, standing at the wide opened door with an expression that I can’t read. And being awkward yet confuse, I could feel Jinyoung poked my arm to signaling me at least to give a proper greeting.

Fortunately, I recovered fast, so I formed a smile on my face. “Hi, J. Long time no see,” damn, you Mark Tuan! She’s your childhood friend. She’s the closest person on your life beside your family. How could you act so weird?!

“Hi, Mark. Yeah, it’s been a long time, huh?” she suddenly releasing a chuckle from her lips. I cannot let my eyes for not staring at the most endearing thing on her face. It’s so perfectly curve upwards, and needs millions willpower for me for not pulling her closer to stole a kiss. “And oh, you must be Junior?”

I’m following her gaze as she pointing her finger to my friend that kept standing beside me since earlier. “Hi, Jessica. Nice to meet you,” being a humble person he was, Jinyoung his hand for handshake.

“Nice to meet you too. Mark should’ve told you that I’m a big fan of you,” her smile grew wider as her eyes locked on Jinyoung.

“Ahh yes, Mark hyung tell me a lot about you,” Jinyoung chuckle and she following it later.

“Come in. I shouldn’t let two handsome idols standing long outside my house,” her smile formed again, this time she glances at me.

She let me and Jinyoung sit inside her living room while she preparing some drinks for us. I used the chance to throwing my gaze around the house. I can’t help for not forming a thin smile on my face whenever our childhood memories lingered in my mind.

“Mark hyung,” once again, Jinyoung made me realizing his presence who sat next to me since earlier. I move my gaze at him before he spoke out. “Bominoona just call me, and tell Jessica that I’ll pick the phone outside.”

“Okay,” I nodded and soon after, Jinyoung left the room leaving me alone. I was probably too busy with my own thoughts after I was bit late to realizing that Jessica already came back from kitchen with some cola cans and snacks.

“Where’s Junior?” she asked while putting it on the table.

“Oh, he got a call from his girlfriend… so he went outside,” I replied.

“So he got a girlfriend already? Um, that’s too bad,” she fakes a frown before a light chuckle follow later.

“Um, Jess… actually, there’s something that I need to talk with you,”

And it was successfully inviting her attention. She looked at me and I dare myself to look at her. “Just tell me already.”

“I… wanted to know about… you and him—“

“We’re dating already,” before I could finish my words, she suddenly cut it and her straight forward answer seriously shocking me.

“Huh?”

I see her let out a sigh, a deep one before she spoke out. “I’ve told you clearly that we’re officially dating since a week ago. He’s a nice man and my family likes him. But the most things that distracted me are…” she holds her words to moving her gaze to me. “He’s always here whenever I need him.”

Froze. Maybe it was the right words that suit my condition. I really didn’t know what I should do or what should I say. Should I say congratulate her? Or should I tell her that my heart was shattered into million pieces?

“I’m so sorry for finally telling you this… But, I can’t wait for you any longer, Mark. I thought that I can survive being in a long distance relationship with you. But finally, I realized that I’m not that strong… I’m weak and I can’t bear with the loneliness,” she said while still staring at me. “I’m sorry…”

Instead of telling her how much the pain attacking my heart, I shook my head. “It’s okay… I understand.” My tongue is just betrayed me and stupidly I tell her lies.

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