B A C K
 

When Baekhyun was eight, there were times that he thought he was ‘broken’.

He had nothing much to say about love and family. He couldn’t share any stories because he only had an older brother and a mother. He was sure he had a father, he was taught in class that having been born meant that he had one, but it had always been just the three of them.

Sometimes, it was Baekbeom who fetched him from school. Sometimes, it was his mother, and she would hold his hand while they walked. Most of the time, he didn’t mind it. The rest of the times, however, he didn't like it. Whenever he observed his classmates, they always had two ‘someone’s to hold each of their hands while he only had just Baekbeom or mother to hold one of his own. It made him feel like there was something wrong with him. He wanted to hold two people’s hands on his way home, too. He thought, back then, maybe there was something wrong with him…?

But no, he wasn't broken. There wasn't anything wrong with him either. He was just envious of the other kids. Most of his classmates had both a mother and a father and a lunchbox filled with food… He was happy with his brother and mother, he liked mother’s ramyun, but he still wondered, how come he didn’t have what his classmates did? Was he not allowed…?

Baekhyun stopped asking about father when he turned ten.

He didn’t want to hear his mother cry at night anymore. It happened often. Sometimes, he cried too because there were days that he didn’t even see his mother at all. Those were the days he thought that, maybe, if he had a father then his mother would not have needed to work so hard every day. Maybe if he was a better boy, he would have a father to complain about, too. Watching his mother made him want to grow up faster so he could work and make money enough for the three of them. That way, his mother wouldn’t have to give them her share of food or quietly weep at night about not being able to give enough to them.

One day, a man came to their small house; a man who was as tall as he was handsome in his black suit. The stranger looked like he had stepped out of the movie poster one of Baekhyun's classmates showed him. The man looked just like what Baekhyun imagined his father would’ve been like; what he wanted his father to be like.

Every time, the man came to their house looking like that, and Baekhyun would peek at the stranger from his bedroom door. He stopped wondering whether the man was going to be his dad when he caught his mother crying, the night of the second visit. Maybe it was too late to wish for a father, after all…

After the third visit came around, he was told that he would be studying in a good school, a much better school; in an academy that was sure to get him into the country’s top universities after graduating. He had not asked how that could be even though he wondered how they could suddenly afford an academy because he had not seen his mother so happy before. That week, she cooked his and Baekbeom’s favorite dishes, stayed at home to help him with his homework during the day, and snuggled close to him at night. He thought she was happy, so he let himself be happy, too. They hadn’t been happy for a long time.

Baekhyun had only been twelve when he had been told that he was going to have everything he could ever want; everything his mother could ever wish for him… at the expense of leaving his family behind. All this he hadn’t known until the seventh and last visit came around, when the tall man had explained to him that he had been ‘chosen’ and, thus, was going to be under the care of the Parks from then on.

“Why can’t you come with me?” He remembered asking his mother with puffy eyes, all the while trying to wriggle out of the tall man’s grasp to go back to his mother’s arms. “Why is it just me?”

“I love you, Baekhyun. I want what’s best for you. I love you so much, I truly do. Please do not doubt that,” His mother had answered and cried the moment the tall man picked him up because he hadn’t wanted to go with him.

All little Baekhyun could feel at the time was the most devastating betrayal of his life. All he thought about was, if his mother truly loved him, then why was she letting the man in the black suit take him away? Didn’t she know he was going to be all alone? Wasn’t she going to miss him?

It didn’t make sense to him. If his mother loved him, as much as she said she did, then she would not have given him away to the man in black. She would not have packed his clothes beforehand. She would have asked him if he wanted to leave her and Baekbeom. She would have asked, and she would have known his answer would be ‘no’. It would've been ‘no’ every time she asked. She and Baekbeom were all that he had. He didn’t care about not having a father anymore.

Baekhyun remembers having cried; of having accused his mother of not loving him as much as she claimed to. He didn’t understand how love could ever be leaving someone’s life for the sake of their happiness. How could anyone hurt someone that much and call it ‘love’?

For years he drowned himself in books—in words, in thoughts—desperately trying to make sense of the pain left in his chest, because it truly hadn’t made sense to him. Or perhaps it had, for just a little, when he turned sixteen and met Master Park for the first time while the younger Park Chanyeol made his heart flutter for the hundredth time, four years after his mother told him goodbye. It definitely made sense when he vowed forever and everything he was to the man he knew he loved, despite knowing that his dream come true was nothing more than another business deal for the heir of Park Corporation. It made the most sense whenever he found himself crying on their bed, trying to convince himself that Chanyeol was just working overtime and not ing someone else because Baekhyun was far from the husband he deserved; because they were part of two different worlds and no lie, no promise, no bridge of any form could ever change the fact.

Only when he has filled his suitcase, almost ten years since the last time he has seen Chanyeol’s smile, did he truly understand what his mother had to do. Love is wanting happiness for the person you love. It’s wanting what’s best for them, even if ‘best’ means giving up your part in their life so there would be space in it for happiness.

Chanyeol had been in it for the money, but Baekhyun had been in it with his heart; all of his heart, no matter how many pieces there are of it now. And so, if he has to leave just so happiness can find his husband, the boy he grew up and fell in love with, then he is more than willing to disappear.

Baekhyun takes with him a suitcase of clothes, memories, and the remaining pieces of his broken dream before the door shuts close.

❀

“Baekhyun…?”

It shouldn’t come as a surprise for him when he opens the doors to their room and finds an empty bed. He already knows. There could’ve been no other reason for the hours he spent sitting at a table set for two and continued to wait until the restaurant had to close, long after the chauffeur returned to him with an empty limousine and an untouched white tailored suit.

“—hyun! Baekhyun!” Park Chanyeol shouts, voice reverberating like thunder through the golden halls as he paces from one floor to the next.

He knows how he has treated his husband for the last four years but it doesn’t stop him from rummaging through the rest of the mansion’s rooms with the aching hope that he would find his husband in one of them.

But Baekhyun isn’t. His husband isn’t home; nowhere to be found. There had been no ‘Welcome home!’ when he arrived. No ‘Have you eaten?’ when he enters the lavish kitchen. No ‘Let me draw you a bath’ when he recklessly throws his coat down on their bedroom’s floor.

Baekhyun can’t be gone. He can’t be, but no matter how hard Chanyeol tries to convince himself, he can’t deny the missing clothes or suitcase, and definitely not the ‘I love you’ that would have told him the long day has finally ended.

The day isn’t supposed to end like this. He doesn’t want the night to end like this.

Chanyeol had been told he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but that had been before Baekhyun. He hadn’t been in love until now. That’s why he made sure to have his secretary re-schedule all his appointments to next week. That’s why he booked Baekhyun’s favorite restaurant for an entire night.

Tonight, he isn’t just Park Chanyeol, he’s Baekhyun’s husband. Tonight, he's supposed to tell the man he married how much he loves him. Tonight, he's supposed to ask for Baekhyun’s ‘Yes’, not as the heir of one of the country’s biggest conglomerates, but as Chanyeol who has simply fallen in love with the best friend he had while he had been a spoiled boy. Tonight, their marriage was supposed to change for the better, because Chanyeol has finally decided to become a better husband.

But... the missing suitcase and the unopened box of white suit mean that Baekhyun has decided, too.

For the first time in five years, Chanyeol is the one that spends the night of their anniversary, crying over a husband who isn’t going to come home.

❀

It takes Baekhyun less than a day to settle in a cheap motel with all the intentions of milking what his little cash is worth until he finds a job. He refuses to use the card his husband gave him on their first anniversary. He threw his phone away and replaced it with a less impressive model for the same reason that he doesn’t want to have anything that Chanyeol can use to find him.

He cries after a week when the newspapers are still clean of the Park name and he’s convinced that, perhaps, Chanyeol hasn’t even realized he’s gone. It hurts him more than it relieves him to think that Chanyeol doesn’t love him enough to come looking for him, and he forces himself to swallow the painful lump in his throat whenever his mind would wander off to his husband. Chanyeol shouted at him once before, only once, and never raised a hand. He had been fortunate because, even though Chanyeol hadn’t loved him as much as their vows made them swear to, Chanyeol hadn’t been that cruel to him.

Baekhyun doesn’t regret leaving. Instead, he regrets having taken so long to stop being a nuisance to Chanyeol. He had known all along that Chanyeol didn’t see him as a husband. Maybe, sometime ago, he had been a dear friend; maybe he was just a break and a breath of fresh air gone stale. For some time, they shared kisses and his body only knew to be loved by Chanyeol’s. Those days certainly feel like a dream now. Just a little more and he would follow Chanyeol to forgetting all about them, too.

He’s pathetic, isn’t he…? Pathetic and all that he had been told he is by all those people who were also originally part of Park Chanyeol’s world. He has finally found the courage to run away, to escape that place that he hadn’t belonged to in the first place, yet his heart still beats faster when he hears the name Park. Here he is, thinking of wanting to be beside Chanyeol.

He shouldn't regret leaving, but he does.

He really, really does.

❀

“What do you mean you’re not in the mood?”

He’s scowling again. It’s all he ever seems to do lately.

Ever since his best friend got engaged to some Chinese business tycoon’s daughter, his party-going days have seemed to truly meet their end. It doesn’t help that all his other friends have been roped into matrimony even before that. He doesn’t have many friends to start with, not many that he actually minds being with without a drink in his hand, and the ones he can actually trust are either leaving for China next week or trying to make an arranged marriage work.

“It means what it means. I’m not in the mood,” Sehun mutters through the speakers.

He can just imagine his best friend scowling like he is. Probably smoking out on their balcony, even. Sehun has dropped the habit long ago, but with how fragile the state of their company is in right now, it wouldn’t surprise him if the Ohs’ only son slips back into it.

Unwilling to let it blow up into another pathetic argument—over the phone, no less—Kai bites back the urge to snap at his best friend and settles for a short sigh. He doesn’t mean to guilt-trip, but he can’t help but be upset. It definitely shows when he replies, “Yeah. Okay, I get it.”

It just makes him feel worse when Sehun’s voice cracks through the static again, genuinely apologetic this time, “Just… let me settle things with Luhan first, alright?”

“Yeah,” Kai crushes a stray cigarette under the heel of his shoe, wishing he can do the same to Senior Oh before nodding his head. “Of course. I understand.”

He does. Of course he understands the situation Sehun is in. Being wedded off to secure a business deal or conquer a market, it has happened to a handful of other people in his life. Different times, playing the same old song.

He had known it was going to happen to Kris. It even happened to Chanyeol, although the stupid guy has always been so willing to please his cold father anyway. But Sehun? Oh Sehun? Nouveau riche Ohs? Nothing but a mistake on his part, truly, because while they may have all been chaebols, the others aren’t illegitimate sons like he is. His own father would have laughed at the mere suggestion of using him, a bastard with no legal claim to the billions that his womanizing father’s group of companies make in a single year, the way Senior Oh has used his best friend.

“I expect you at my wedding,” Sehun voice cuts through his phone’s speaker again, sounding as serious as always and making Kai laugh.

They both know he can’t be there. Sehun’s parents have never been fond of him. Besides, his father would rather lock him up in a penthouse where he can’t run his mouth off than let him try to live a normal life. Really, why did his father even bother making a child like him if he would only spend his life making him live as if he didn’t exist?

Pretending to have not heard his excuses, his best friend simply repeats himself before hanging up.

“Freaking brat,” Kai half chuckles and sighs as he shoves the phone back into his pocket.

He tries not to think of how lonely his life is going to be from then on, now that Sehun is going to be occupied by his new princess. Not to mention, Sehun would be miles and miles away, and distance rarely ever made anything fun. Sneaking out and smuggling himself into China is too much of a hassle to even be an option. That leaves Chanyeol, whom he hasn’t seen since having told them he wants to be a better husband.

‘About damn time,’ Kai thinks as he returns to Xiumin’s bar through the back door. ‘Five years is too long to suffer a loveless marriage.’

He has never voiced out his worry over the spouse Chanyeol refused to even name. It wasn’t his place to intervene in any way because, although Chanyeol was short-tempered and had a sharp tongue, Chanyeol was never the kind of man to touch anyone else first. He didn’t have to worry about Chanyeol being violent, but he was certain that Chanyeol was negligent. Often, Chanyeol’s spouse had been the source of the man’s frustration and the occasional of their jokes.

Even without knowing a name, Kai could tell that, whoever the unfortunate spouse was, they really cared for Chanyeol. It made him envious. Oh, what he wouldn’t do to have someone who loved and was devoted to him that much. Sometimes, on his lonelier nights, he would even joke about making it his personal mission to snatch spouses like that from cold-hearted husbands like Park Chanyeol.

The only thing that overpowered the bitterness that Chanyeol’s ungratefulness left on his tongue, to be honest, had been the awful taste of alcohol. Drinking and were his best distractions. Perhaps, if he had never chosen to get himself stupidly drunk every time he had to see the scowl on Chanyeol’s face, they would have had their first fight a long, long time ago. Maybe the first of a hundred, because he is many things—a bastard, a flirt, a liar—but he isn’t a man who treats marriage as nothing more than a business deal. At least, not when he's sober. But when is he ever sober, really? Especially with friends like Oh Sehun and Park Chanyeol?

“It’s just you again tonight, huh?” Xiumin says as soon as Kai is back in his seat, past beyond the point of caring whether his acquaintance’s youngest brother comes into his bar through the front door like a normal person.

“Yeah. Probably going to be just me for a while.”

“Haven’t you thought of settling down, yourself?” the bar owner asks him. No malice, just genuine curiosity.

“Why? Are you getting sick of me, hyung?” Kai teases, lazily resting his chin on his palm.

“Can I say yes?” Xiumin teases back, distracting him with another drink.

“Getting me drunk isn't going to keep me away from your new employee for long,” He clarifies while he throws a glance at the direction of the staff room, where Baekhyun is busy washing glasses.

‘Baekhyunnie’ is attractive, he will admit to that. Cute face, cute smile. A bit too skittish when he—anyone—gets too close. It makes Baekhyun all the more fun to tease.

It doesn't go unnoticed by the bar owner, of course, who only shakes his head. Xiumin has never hired an extra hand before; has never found a need for one. For all the years he has known Xiumin, Kai has known him as a rather strict hyung who never settles for anything less than what he wants, both in his business or personal life. He's protective, too, very much so. Kai has witnessed the pros and cons of the man’s protection once or twice before, before Baekhyun arrived.

Xiumin looks out for the new puppy, and one has to wonder why that is. It doesn’t seem like Baekhyun can ever be Xiumin’s type. If Xiumin even has a type.

“It doesn't hurt to try to shut you out, does it?”

“True, but when has that ever worked out for you?” Kai chuckles before taking a sip of his scotch. The burn of alcohol as it makes its way down his throat is nice. It's much better than having to put up with the recurring feeling of being out of place, being left behind, and of having nowhere to really call home.

❀

Baekhyun has thought of going back.

Once. Twice. A hundred times. As many times as he has saved Chanyeol's number, only to delete it again.

The harder he tries to forget, the more he remembers. The more he remembers, the more reasons he finds to call himself stupid; for waiting this long; for still waiting for a man who probably sleeps soundly now that he's gone.

He has many good reasons for leaving. All of them falls short against one. Just one.

Baekhyun looks at the digits on his phone's screen. Keyed in but never saved. Never will be.

He wonders if Chanyeol is asleep now. He wonders if Chanyeol can call their house a home again now that he's not in it anymore. He wonders if his absence has even made a difference.

“Why don't you just do it?” He's startled when Xiumin is suddenly at his side, seemingly having been there for a while now. “Just call them?”

“Oh. No, i-it's late, they're probably asleep now.”

Xiumin glances at the clock before raising a brow. It reads 7pm. Baekhyun wants to slap himself for lying. He almost does. His boss lets the lie slide and merely pats him on the shoulder before welcoming the most recent patron that has passed through the door.

The boss' friend stays at the counter the entire night again. The man doesn't resemble Chanyeol in any way, except for the way he holds his glass and the same scotch Baekhyun knows his husband likes. The man looks like a trouble maker. He’s also handsome. Just like Chanyeol, he looks like someone Baekhyun shouldn’t reach for.

Working in a bar makes Baekhyun wonder about how many people have also looked at Chanyeol the way he's looking at this stranger. How many people have had the blessing of Chanyeol's presence? How many has Chanyeol also looked at? Did those looks turn into something more? And if so, how many times…?

Baekhyun wishes Chanyeol could have just said it; that he doesn't… that he never loved him. At least, that way, he would have known. Being told he was unwanted from the very beginning would have been better than knowing his husband preferred to get hung over than to come home to him. Anything else would have been better.

Baekhyun doesn't look at the stranger's way again until closing time. He doesn't want to think of how beautiful strangers could have easily come forward to his husband the way Xiumin's friend has made his interest in him known. He doesn't want to think of the perfume on Chanyeol's clothes. He refuses to be the cologne on someone else’s.

He loves Chanyeol. Truthfully, he still does. He even… hates himself for it. Chanyeol wasn't the best husband but Chanyeol is his husband, the only one. Chanyeol is the only person that he has wanted for so long.

Baekhyun has imagined how going back could be like.

Once. Twice. A hundred times. As many times as he has dialled Chanyeol's number, only to end the call before it can even ring.

He doesn't know that if he dials for the hundred and first time, Chanyeol would have picked up.

(But Chanyeol never picked up, because Baekhyun never dialed again.)

❀

Lady Luck is a fairly small bar, unknown to most people and hidden from plain sight. In this sense, the bar is quite exclusive. The only way to get there is to be brought there by a patron who already knows the way or to be incredibly lucky while being lost, just like what Xiumin said happened to Baekhyun.

Xiumin is a sensible man. Although he doesn't seem to be fond of nonsense, Kai is fairly convinced that Xiumin is a guy who can appreciate fun because the man is long-time friends with the older step-brother who still, somehow, manages to land himself into trouble. He likes Jongdae hyung better than he likes Junmyeon hyung for the sole reason that Jongdae actually bothers to check up on him every once in a while and never brings up their father's name.

His step-brother has probably asked Xiumin to look out for him. Maybe that's why Xiumin lets him treat the bar as his home, even setting up a small room at the back for when the penthouse gets too big and lonely. Or, maybe, it's just that Xiumin really has a soft spot for people who feel like they don't belong anywhere. After all, the brunet in Lady Luck's black bow tie makes for the second stray that the bar owner has picked up after him.

“I’m not going to lie, I think you’re cute,” Kai says, smiling with a tilt of his head when Baekhyun walks into his room after having seemingly been lost again.

Xiumin hadn't told him anything about Baekhyun. Well, aside from a name. Just a name. Xiumin didn't have to, though, because it only took a few hours for him to decide that he would rather hear the words from Baekhyun himself and has since gotten hooked. For anyone’s peace of mind, but mostly Baekhyun’s, he has toned down his advances since having recognized the discomfort they bring to the shorter man.

Kai will admit, there's an undeniable sweep of satisfaction about discovering new things about Baekhyun, such as the man's mellow singing voice or the way the small mouth makes a rectangle when Baekhyun laughs whole-heartedly. He wants to know this person with the beautiful kohl-lined eyes and precious smile. It's almost like an obsession, the way he keeps on wanting more and more and the way his day doesn't seem complete without trying to talk to Baekhyun.

But, just like any other day, “Thank you” is the only response that he gets before Baekhyun is sputtering apologies and skittering out, always in a hurry to not share the same space with him.

“Ugh, not again!” The young chaebol groans when he slumps back onto his bed.

Him and his stupid mouth. When will he ever say normal things? When will they ever be able to talk like normal people?

Maybe it's not an obsession because there's no compulsion that drives him to disregard the unspoken boundaries that Baekhyun wants to keep. It probably isn't a crush either. He knows what a crush is. He remembers it to be an overwhelming and an often fuzzy kind of feeling in the chest and a commonly uncomfortable yet also curiously pleasant kind of churning in his gut. Whatever it is, it definitely isn't either of those.

Maybe he genuinely just... likes Baekhyun? The fact that this even bothers him must mean he really does like Baekhyun, right? And if not, then he's pretty sure he's starting to. Otherwise, he wouldn't worry about saying the right thing or be sorely disappointed that he's being thrown off his game.

If nothing has changed, then he would have just continued to pretend that he has never noticed the ring wrapped around one of Baekhyun's pretty fingers.

The fact that Kai wants the ring gone must mean something.

Right?

❀

“The bar is closed on Mondays,” the man says, head tilting slightly to a side, reminiscent of all the previous times that this person has .

Baekhyun wouldn't exactly call the man a complete stranger because they've... talked, in the loosest sense of the word, a few times before. The man knows his name courtesy of Xiumin. He can’t return the favour and call this person an acquaintance when he doesn't really have a name to pin the face with. He has always just called this person 'Xiumin's friend', he didn't think he would need it if he was going to spend his time avoiding the man anyway.

“It's a holiday tomorrow, too. Didn't you know that?”

‘I know now,’ Baekhyun wants to say, but it probably isn't wise to answer back to his employer's friend that way.

The owner of Lady Luck has already been so kind to him by having hired him despite the lack of a proper resume, something that he couldn’t help but only see as proof that he’s been nothing but the Parks’ carefully groomed property all these years. True enough, just as Master Park had promised his mother, he accomplished his studies and graduated from a good university. He studied hard and worked even harder under Master Park himself, who eventually found the opportunity to use him ripe enough with a public announcement of his and Chanyeol’s engagement.

And, because he was only meant to boost his husband’s image, Baekhyun has nothing to his name. He has no assets, no shares—all of them are still truly Chanyeol’s—and there’s little else to be proud of that wouldn’t be attributed to the Parks in any way. He's badly in need of money right now, money he doesn't have to keep staying even in that pitiful motel. At this point, he's almost willing to do anything to not be homeless, including begging Xiumin to let him stay in the storage room even just for a while. Even a blanket and a roof over his head would be fine, really.

“You didn’t know, did you?” The man, whose deceivingly casual clothes and blond hair with pepper roots, never fails to appear intimidating to Baekhyun, especially when the former’s gaze makes a sweep. The stranger glosses over the red suitcase leaning against his side and then says, “You have nowhere to go.”

A factual statement. Not a question.

“No,” Baekhyun confirms with a shake of his head.

He would have very much preferred his boss to be the first person to see him today rather than this man who gives off the aura of trouble. He isn't in the mood to be pitied first thing in the morning. He doesn't need someone else to make him feel bad about his situation, and definitely not someone who can afford to drink the same liquor as his husband does.

Instead of grimacing and being repulsed by him for being poor, just like what Baekhyun expects and is used to, the man approaches him and takes a hold of his suitcase. He is quick to rise to his feet, of course, and he grasps the man's wrist to keep this stranger from walking away with what little he has left since having ran away from Chanyeol.

“Please don't do this,” he pleads. “I don't have money, but please—”

“I don't need money.”

“But—” cold anxiety washes over Baekhyun with those words, sending a shiver down his spine and turning his fingers into ice. What else does he have but his body? The runaway Park squirms underneath the hold and digs his feet where he stands. “I-I'm not that kind of person.”

“What are you talking about?” The stranger asks, letting Baekhyun retrieve the suitcase to clutch it close to his own body. “I'm not going to hurt you.”

“Then what are you talking about? Why are you trying to take my things?”

“I'm carrying it to the car. You're going to live with me.”

“I don't even know you.”

“I'm Kai,” ‘Kai’ retorts, clearly missing the point, before trying to grab the handle of the suitcase again.

“What makes you think I'd live with you?” Baekhyun asks.

His attempt to put distance between them ending in miserable failure. He still ends up having the suitcase taken away from him by Kai's stronger hand while the other wraps firmly around his own wrist.

“Because I'm not letting you stay here where men who can't take 'no' for an answer can just snatch you right off the streets,” Kai explains, careful not to make the mistake of holding onto Baekhyun too tightly and on the suitcase too loosely while he leads them to his car.

It's a white Porsche, a far cry from the sleek, black Maserati that Chanyeol owns, but it still screams rich to Baekhyun and makes him all the more nervous. “Isn't that what you're doing? Not taking no for an answer? Snatching me off the streets?”

“Look, I know I haven't made the best impression on you. I wasn't lying when I called you cute before because you are. God knows I'm not the only one who thinks that way,” the chaebol supplies, almost groaning because he’s unable to bear the devastated expression marring the other's face.

“I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving you out here alone, and especially not when I know now that you have nowhere else to go,” Kai continues. “We don't even have to see each other when we get back to my house. I'll make sure you'd be settled for the night. That's it. Or have a maid do it if I make you that uncomfortable. Rest assured you'll be taken care of. I'll even bring you back here in time for work, luggage and everything. If I try anything, or god forbids, I hurt you in any way, you can press charges. I'm not going to retaliate. I promise you.”

Once they're both settled inside his car, Kai grabs a paper from the dashboard. He flips it and begins to scribble down the words onto the empty side before he hands it to the man on his passenger seat.

“Here,” he says with a smile and lets the sheet be taken from him by slender fingers. “Just in case your spouse is a lawyer.”

Baekhyun simply purses his lips again when he discovers that a signature has already been affixed at the bottom, turning the piece of paper into a binding contract. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the other man smiling and turning away from him just as he’s about to speak. He opts to just close his mouth again. What’s there for him to say…?

Kai barely holds back a sigh when the silence comes back. He feels just a tad guilty about being grateful over Baekhyun not wanting to talk; whether it’s about the unnamed significant other, the circumstances that led to where they are now, or something else entirely that can pass as the most insignificant of small talks. He won't bring it up if the smaller man doesn't want to because he himself isn't ready to talk about Baekhyun's spouse.

Beside him, he notices that Baekhyun is biting down on his lip while staring at the sheet of paper in his smaller hands. The engine roars into life then, and it drowns out the tiniest sob that comes with eyes welling up with tears.

How filthy of him, Baekhyun thinks, that he feels relief over having a place to stay in now. For now. They were right, those people who told him he was undeserving of Chanyeol, they had all been right. Chanyeol doesn't need a husband who can't even support himself, much less one who would rather accept the hospitality of another man than come home.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun whispers—and he inhales sharply the moment his voice cracks.

Now, Kai is many things—a bastard, a flirt, a liar—but not an idiot, although he must be, because it takes an idiot to fall in love with a married man. It takes an even greater idiot to pull over and kiss the tears that are threatening to spill from that married man's eyes.

He is an idiot. He really must be.

Throughout the entire hour of the drive back to his house, it takes every bit of Kai to not let himself be a greater idiot.

❀

The motel is cheap.

Rugged.

Dirty, Chanyeol grunts.

The woman sitting in the lobby bats her lashes at him and leans forward, just a little. To him, she’s a cat that has found a mouse; purring, watching, observing. She must think he has come here looking for a good time, especially when his gaze remains fixed on the direction where a middle-aged salary man disappeared to with a much younger woman. He steels himself to stay impassive when he questions the receptionist some more, but the scowl on his face becomes more and more difficult to hide the longer he stays and the more disgusted he becomes with this woman's company and the underlying message of her practiced spiel.

“He should be this… tall,” he raises his hand up to his chin as an estimate for his missing husband’s height. He realizes how truly negligent he has been of Baekhyun when he continues making vague gestures reminiscent of his other half. He doesn’t even know how tall Baekhyun really is; he only remembers the forehead kisses. He used to give those often to Baekhyun when they had been much younger; more innocent.

Chanyeol growls a torturous minute later. With each passing moment, he only feels more and more frustrated. Each second he wastes here is a second he could be spending with Baekhyun; each second is a second that he isn’t spending beside Baekhyun.

Only after having wasted his time with her incessant rambling does the receptionist crack and tell him that the man he’s looking for already checked out.

“When?!”

She jumps when he slams a fist against the desk. “Y-Yesterday,” she answers warily.

Yesterday.

Only yesterday.

Chanyeol inhales with a curt nod and leaves without a word, letting his new secretary deal with the woman in his stead. He needs her silence.

He can't have his father knowing that he's been looking and he definitely can't have the news of his missing husband to leak to the media. Their corporation’s rivals can very well afford to fabricate a story and twist it even more… He's not going to give anyone a reason to use and hurt Baekhyun. He’ll deal with the politics, but he refuses to let anyone drag Baekhyun into it anymore.

It already makes him angry that Baekhyun would choose to sleep in a place like this. Why didn’t his husband just withdraw cash instead of not using the card he gave at all? Isn’t it difficult to live a life without sustenance? What was his husband thinking, settling for a neighbourhood like this?! If Baekhyun doesn’t want anything to do with him and refuses to take any of the amount he has given, then how has Baekhyun gotten by so far?

It makes him furious to even think of how many other pairs of eyes have tried undressed Baekhyun without him even knowing. Baekhyun wouldn’t resort to selling himself, would he? Baekhyun hasn’t gotten hurt while they’ve been apart, has he? Baekhyun—his Baekhyun—his Baekhyun is somewhere safe, right?

The moment Chanyeol drives back, he slams his back against the driver's seat and punches the stirring wheel in both helplessness and frustration. The horn of his car is the only thing that drowns out the strangled cry that escapes his throat. This, all of this, wouldn’t have ever happened if he hadn’t been such a fool.

Just when he thought he would finally see him again, he missed Baekhyun again. The first few times, he had been only a couple of hours behind but now it's a day? An entire day? Yesterday. Baekhyun checked out only yesterday.

The number you have dialled is—Chanyeol cuts the call and tries again. He tries again and again while staring at the name of his husband on his phone's screen, right until it cracks and shatters in his palm. How…? How?! Where is Baekhyun right now!?

He throws the broken phone to the empty passenger seat where he remembers having listened to Baekhyun sing for the first time.

He wants to hear Baekhyun's voice sing his favourite song. He wants to hear that melody again, the one that Baekhyun thinks he doesn't hear when they're both home at the same time and sharing the same space. Oh what he wouldn't give to have his husband here; to be back to four years ago just so he could hold onto Baekhyun's hand as if it were the first time instead of pulling away from it like the touch of another man could burn.

“Where are you, Baekhyun…? Where in the world are you?”

If Baekhyun isn't in the motel, then where is he? Baekhyun hasn't been in contact with his family for more than ten years now, no thanks to his own. Without money or credit, any other lodging available to his husband will be less than ideal than the rundown motel. Will Baekhyun really choose to live in the streets? To run to a place far, far away rather than come home to him?

He already knows the answer to that. He always thinks he knows the answer to everything. Lo and behold, he had been wrong when he said he wouldn't ever love his husband; when he called it ‘probably friendship’ whenever he sneaked his father’s treasured scholar out of the mansion; when he used to search for just one person in the parties he had to attend, thinking it was only natural for the sake of the deal their parents made. He had always been wrong when the questions involved Baekhyun.

Park Chanyeol married for money, money he has always had, but what use does he have for it now—for all the money in the world, if his husband won't ever come back?

❀

Baekhyun winces when the pan slips out of his grasp. It makes such a loud clanging noise, one that surely would have been heard in the entire floor. He quickly picks up the pan, which is as expensive as everything else in the penthouse, and immediately heads over to the sink to wash it again.

“Baekhyun? That you?” Kai's voice is groggy when the man wanders into the kitchen after having successfully navigated out of his bedroom with closed eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Breakfast,” the shorter man chirps, realizing he has nothing to really show, before he scratches the back of his head. “I... was going to make breakfast.”

He meant to make breakfast as a small token of gratitude for Kai, who has been true to his word since they set foot in here. Unfortunately, he woke up later than he intended to, and he was absolutely surprised to find an almost empty fridge and as an equally empty pantry. He couldn't very well cook vodka, not with... well, more vodka.

“Why?”

Baekhyun observes Kai while the latter stretches and rubs a sleepy eye. He can't believe this is the same man who has stepped in for him against rowdy bar patrons; this man whose eyes just blink when he sees the sad state his fridge is in.

“Oh,” Kai's lips curl into a shy smile, certainly embarrassed by the bottles of liquor instead of grocery inside the refrigerator, before walking over to the phone by the counter and asking, “I'll call downstairs for food. Do you want anything? Uhm, do you have any allergies?”

“Anything without cucumber is good,” Baekhyun replies.

He already feels guilty about continuing to take advantage of this man’s hospitality. He doesn't even realize that he has bowed his head again. He knew Kai was rich, he simply didn't expect Kai to be this rich. He appreciates Kai's kindness, he truly does, but he didn't run away from a chaebol only to seek comfort from yet another chaebol.

“I said I'll take care of you, remember? So let yourself depend on me, alright?” Kai says, reaching out a hand to ruffle Baekhyun's soft hair. He doesn't pull away, not until he remembers the ring on the latter's finger and he finds himself asking, “It's a wedding ring, isn't it? I've known for a while.”

He feels more stupid than brave for having asked. He spent the entirety of last night just tossing and turning in his bed. He kept thinking about the ring, he wanted it out of his head.

Kai hopes that getting it done, that asking about it, would finally put an end to this. He’s not used to this. Hell, he doesn’t know what this, this feeling in his chest, is. All this time, he thought that asking about the person wearing the other ring would kill the feelings growing inside him before they could take root.

But, Baekhyun nods and lifts his head to meet his eyes. “Yes,” the older man says, barely above a whisper.

Kai knows it's too late. His heart makes a small leap when, for the first time, Baekhyun doesn't skitter away from him. He’s already in too deep.

The ring means someone is waiting for Baekhyun in their own home; someone who has already promised to Baekhyun the things he's telling him now, all the things he's been thinking of and has been wanting to tell Baekhyun. The ring is there because there's someone whom Baekhyun loves and he hates it. He hates seeing the ring. He hates remembering it's there. He wants to ask about it, about the person who put it there, but at the same, he wants nothing more to yank it off of Baekhyun's hand and throw it very far away.

It doesn't make sense, does it? Being jealous of someone he has never met. He's here, though, wanting someone he has only known for a few months. He brought this person to his home, his cage, when he has never even thought of showing it to his friends. That makes even less sense, doesn't it? How can he be this enamoured by a man he only officially introduced himself to yesterday?

And oh, Kai feels so much worse when Baekhyun smiles. It's not the brightest smile he has seen in his life, but it's the brightest smile he has ever seen on Baekhyun. The reason for it must be none other than the ring… the spouse.

He still remembers seeing Baekhyun for the first time and thinking how pretty Baekhyun was. Honestly, Baekhyun isn’t really his type—he liked those individuals with big eyes that made for intense stares—but, he had watched Baekhyun comfort a sobbing woman, once, and his curiosity grew alongside the smile that formed on Baekhyun’s lips for the sake of drawing out a smile from her. Needless to say, Baekhyun ended up having caught his smile and attention, too, and without even knowing.

“I... I have been waiting for you to tell me off. To tell me to just stop because you're married,” Kai mutters, remembering all those times he had been gently when not politely brushed off. “Why haven't you?”

They were barely a little more than strangers in Xiumin's bar in the same space yesterday. No, they still are, even if Baekhyun is in his home like this and even if Baekhyun isn’t trying to escape him, they’re still strangers.

How… He is in love with Baekhyun. He is in love with Baekhyun, and so is someone else. That ‘someone else’ is someone whom Baekhyun has also chosen. The person he wants to be to Baekhyun, someone is already it.

Baekhyun isn't his to touch. Baekhyun isn't his. This isn't where Baekhyun belongs. The ring on Baekhyun's finger is a reminder he can't ignore. It’s a warning for when he does.

“It's just a ring now,” Baekhyun's voice is soft when the man answers, but the smile is still there. The memories must be that fond… it makes Kai more jealous. Almost. “I can't stay married by myself, can I?”

Baekhyun still wears the ring because it's the only thing that can prove that he has ever been Chanyeol's. He wants to keep believing in the Chanyeol who played with him when he first arrived in the Park manor; the Chanyeol who stuck to his side during formal gatherings with a tiny scowl whenever someone else talked to him; the Chanyeol he met officially when he had been sixteen and had told him that it had to be the two of them who would wait for each other at the end of that aisle. He wants to believe that Chanyeol loved him, somehow, even if only for once upon a time.

It hurts to admit it. It hurts to say out loud that the ring never meant more than an agreement. It hurts to say that Chanyeol has really forgotten about him or that, perhaps, Chanyeol never meant to remember his own words. Even just the thought of Chanyeol hurts.

Chanyeol used to smile. He smiled a lot. He laughed as often and laughed even louder at his own jokes. Chanyeol had been happiness, once upon a time, before he took over his father's company and before Master Park spun a tale that started with their names sewn together. They aren't going to have a happily ever after, after all, because Baekhyun never ceased to be more than the foolish pauper who has fallen in love with the prince.

Kai's expression is solemn when Baekhyun looks up at him, with brows knit together and the corners of his lips dipping.

‘Oh. How rude of me,’ Baekhyun thinks, to trouble someone else with his problems. He should've never said anything.

As if able to read his mind, the chaebol is quick to cut that line of thought.

“Don't apologize. Not for this. Never for this,” Kai says. “I... You don't know me that well, but if you want to talk about it, I'll listen. If you don't want to, then… we don't have to.”

He can't let someone who smiles so fondly at their wedding ring to say sorry. For having been in love. For having said yes to someone who also loved them. He doesn't want to hear it. People shouldn't have to be sorry for love.

“Don't think of your worries while you're here," Kai continues. "I don't look like it, but I'm pretty strong, you know? You don't have to worry about a crazy spouse. I'm worth five bouncers. I'm not kidding,” He laughs when he pulls at Baekhyun's cheeks to form a smile, purging the tension in the atmosphere with a smile of his own because he doesn't want their day to start like this. He definitely won't let the day end like this either. ”I want you to enjoy your stay, alright? Think of it as my way of making up for all the times I've creeped you out.”

Baekhyun considers this.

It would be rude of him if he pretends that nothing happened, wouldn't it? Especially when Kai even let him sleep in a real bedroom when he would've been satisfied with the floor and a few blankets. Or just a blanket. Kai doesn’t have to feed him and yet, Kai is ordering food for him and asking what he likes. After he has spent the night here, the younger man doesn't seem as intimidating as he had first seen him.

“You never creeped me out,” Baekhyun answers.

A half-lie.

“Says the guy who ran away every time I talked to him.”

A half-truth. He didn’t run away every time.

“You never said hello properly.”

“Huh… Okay, you have a point there.”

Baekhyun laughs. He can't remember the last time he has done so. He only remembers how he cooked Chanyeol's favourites for four years. He became friends with their house chef that way because Chanyeol was never home for their anniversary and a banquet was too big of a reminder for him who sat alone for four years.

“Let's start over,” Kai straightens his back, extending a hand out to him and a charming smile. “Hello, I'm Kai. It's very nice to meet you.”

Baekhyun chuckles and does the same. “Hi, I'm Baekhyun. Thank you for having me here.”

“Will you join this not-a-stranger for dinner later?”

Granted that they already tried having dinner last night. Served at the same time. While being in separate rooms. It made Kai nervous.

That’s another first time for him. Being nervous, that is. He has always liked the food from the hotel's kitchen, and he kept thinking about whether or not Baekhyun would like it, too. He wanted Baekhyun to enjoy his stay because maybe then, Baekhyun would find the food worth staying more than a couple of nights over.

Kai has never had anyone over before. No one stays for more than a few hours here, no one who isn't Jongdae anyway. Truth be told, it's the first time he himself has stepped in here in months because he likes his small room in Lady Luck much better for the people he can talk to, even if only about the most superficial things. A penthouse is too big of a house for him who's been lonely for years.

“Will you let me cook it? It's the least I can do for your help.”

Baekhyun's offer surprises Kai. For just a little bit. Or maybe a lot. He isn't used to having people ask to do things for him, and even less used to being asked how they could repay him for the things he willingly does for them. He’s not used to this and even less used to thoughts that are purely innocent in nature.

Dinner is awkward when it's had. Kai talks more than he chews, completely taken by the excitement of having someone sit across him. He doesn’t think he has talked this much to anyone about anything.

Baekhyun doesn't mind this unstoppable flow of thoughts and conversation. He’s used to listening to the elite and acquiescence, but this time, he really wants to listen because he’s enjoying himself. His silence is mistaken for boredom, but he clarifies it to be the good kind of speechless. He has never been told that the meal he cooked is good, and he has never thought the sight of an empty plate would move him so much that he tears up while washing the dishes by hand. His eyes have dried by the time Kai comes back with gelato.

Kai, too, feels as if he hasn't had as much fun before, even though all they do afterwards is eat and eat some more while watching the chick flicks Sehun replaced his Marvel movies with. The chick flicks are cheesy and unrealistic, they make for a couple rounds of laughter when they don’t make him cringe. Baekhyun seems to like them and, well, watching Baekhyun enjoy himself is worth a couple of hours of discomfort.

He remembers the ring on Baekhyun's finger halfway through the second movie. He can't imagine having a spouse who's too busy to even watch a movie with him. More than that, he can't imagine passing up the opportunity to have every night be like tonight. His friend Chanyeol is the big idiot that easily comes to mind, but Kai believes that Baekhyun's spouse is the biggest idiot there is.

If it were him, he would help his spouse cook just so they could be together in the kitchen. Every second counts when life is short, and life always is. If he were to marry, it would be to someone he would want to see every day and spend every minute of each day with. If that person were to choose him, as well, it would make him the happiest man. After all, that's the point of marriage, isn't it? To let the world know you've chosen to spend the rest of your days with this special person?

‘How sad it is,’ Kai thinks. ‘For people who have once been so in love that they promised each other a future together, to have to realize they can't keep being a part of each other's life anymore.’

It's strange how the ring on Baekhyun's finger never leaves his mind. It’s not his place. But is it? Is it strange? It would already make him happy if Baekhyun even looked at him as a man. It would make him so happy if Baekhyun even looked at him at all.

If Baekhyun's spouse is stupid enough to let Baekhyun go, is it still wrong for Kai to hope to have a part in Baekhyun's future?

❀

“I thought I've made myself clear, father.”

Chanyeol is seething when he reaches his father's office and shoves the old man's secretary aside when she insists on standing in his way. Inexcusable behaviour, yes, but rationality is weak in the face of blind emotions, especially when he discovers that she, as well, had been lying when she told him his father was currently in a meeting, only for him to find no one else there. How fitting it is of her to be a liar, just like his father when the old man had said he wouldn't touch his marriage and Chanyeol had found a business partner's daughter in his room.

“Yes, yes, your exceptional treatment of Nana made it crystal,” His father replies, calm and collected, as if his own son hadn't just barged into his office and rattled the rest of the floor's residents to get there. “I'd like you to meet Dara next Thursday. I've made preparations for—”

“No! I am not meeting anyone!” Chanyeol yells in response. He’s sick of his father’s meddling. He’s so sick and tired of this.

“Your civil status is a small detail, Chanyeol, and easily remedied.”

“I'm not letting you annul my marriage. I'm not going to be someone else's husband.”

His father sighs. It’s a long and dreadful sigh, exactly the same as he used to make while Chanyeol had been younger. A parent’s expression of disappointment is a strong weapon against a loving child. “A husband, you say? And where is this spouse you speak of right now? Baekhyun hasn't been home for three months. Three months is quite enough time for him to decide whether he wants to come back to you, don't you think?”

Chanyeol scowls. What are three months when pitted against Baekhyun's five years? What is his sleepless nights' worth compared to the nights he left his husband to sleep alone? To eat alone during anniversaries? To fend for himself when they had to put up a show during conferences, and gatherings, and dinners? He would have left much earlier, if he had been Baekhyun. If he were Baekhyun, he wouldn't have put up with him at all.

He had been so used to having Baekhyun there with him that he forgot that Baekhyun had choices. Every time he didn’t come home on time, each consecutive time since the first time he forgot to say ‘thank you’, and for every single time that he disregarded their vows because it was easier than thinking too much about how much of their relationship was due to love and was real—Baekhyun chose him, too. Baekhyun still chose to be with him.

Baekhyun hadn't taken his freedom away from him, it was he who had taken Baekhyun's instead, when he uttered his vow with only the thought of finally making his father proud.

“I choose Baekhyun,” Chanyeol replies, loud enough for the secretary by the doors to hear, loud enough to be heard from the floor's lobby. “Whether it's ten years ago or ten years after, whether he's here or not, I still choose Baekhyun.”

He had been so stupid, so utterly stupid for having let himself believe everyone else than the words of the boy who had already been special to him before they officially met at sixteen. He hurt Baekhyun by doubting him; by thinking and believing Baekhyun only wanted his money when Baekhyun laughed at his boring jokes before Baekhyun even knew of his last name. Worse, he let others hurt Baekhyun. He trapped Baekhyun in a mansion that could have housed all the friends the man could have had if only he hadn't let Baekhyun's life revolve around him.

There’s so much to make up for, but how? How can he possibly earn Baekhyun’s forgiveness? How will he when Baekhyun ran away from him and is nowhere to be found?

“You will change your mind eventually, Chanyeol,” His father retorts, unfazed when Chanyeol's fist meets his desk in a loud slam. “You are never going to find him.”

“Don't you touch him.”

“My dearest son, you forget that I gave him to you in the first place. ’Husband'?” The older Park scoffs. “An acceptable alternative for 'property'.”

Property.

Property.

Chanyeol would deny it; would say that Baekhyun hadn’t ever been that word to him, has always been so much more than that, but saying so would contradict how he had treated his husband.

He hadn't even thought to address Baekhyun as his 'husband' outside of work, not until he recognized the need to label the man who waited for him at home. 'Husband' had been for the blocked number on his now broken phone. 'Husband' had been for the person whose meals he never made time to eat. 'Husband' had been the reason he hadn't wanted to come home. He didn’t understand what that word meant.

Husband is what became of the teary-eyed boy in the stuffy suit that made him look like he was twelve. Husband is what Chanyeol said he would be to him because Chanyeol hadn't liked how the people in their fancy coats and dresses crooned at the boy who liked his ears. Husband is for the boy he worked hard to meet at the end of the aisle.

It had always, always been for Baekhyun. Just Baekhyun. But, because Chanyeol had been terribly selfish, he wrapped it in all that was wonderfully sweet and ruined the very word that he made Baekhyun fall in love with.

“It's unfortunate that he has resorted to this course of action, it truly is. The public must feel sympathetic once they learn that Baekhyun ran away from his loving Prince Charming,” there is amusement in the older Park's voice when he hooks a hand to a drawer and plucks out a brown envelope, but the small smile doesn't show itself until the envelope reaches the edge of the desk and the palms of Chanyeol's hands.

Inside the envelope are pictures of Baekhyun, ever since his husband left. He sees the red suitcase, the one they didn't know was from Baekhyun's mother until they found the letter inside a secret pocket. Chanyeol recognizes the places, some of them, especially those from the first pictures.

His hands slightly tremble with the urgent wish for the pictures to bring him to where Baekhyun is; to all those moments that he’s holding and live inside of them with Baekhyun. His husband appears even thinner; tired. It takes more will for him to keep his fingers uncurled while he’s holding the pictures as gently as he can manage because he couldn't do it for the real Baekhyun.

He could've stopped Baekhyun from leaving if he hadn't waited in the restaurant. He could've started asking for Baekhyun’s forgiveness instead. He could’ve sought atonement right then and there and Baekhyun wouldn't have ever had to stay in that horrid motel; wouldn't have had to worry about making ends meet every single day. He would have given Baekhyun everything, he would have sat with him for dinner and would have made time for him. No more excuses, no more missed calls.

The only picture where Baekhyun is close to smiling is the last, the one where his husband has the suitcase resting against his own thigh. It's the one that Chanyeol rips in half to separate the blurry image of his husband and another man. His father wants him to begin forgetting Baekhyun, It’s such an obvious bait, but it’s not going to happen. He’s not giving his father that kind of satisfaction.

“I will only believe Baekhyun.”

Because he’s done believing everyone else. He’s so done with playing along with them.

If only he had grown faster, had matured earlier, then Baekhyun wouldn't have needed to suffer a husband who didn't even know what he wanted to do. He wanted his father to stop sighing, to stop being disappointed in him; for his father to recognize him for him that he hadn't realized that he was taking everything and everyone else for granted. How many years has he wasted by having longed to hear his own father call him ‘son’ and mean it?

Chanyeol stands taller than his father now, no longer a boy wet behind the ears and eager for any crumb of acknowledgment. It has taken him so long to admit that the man in front of him will never be proud of him, that this weathered man only spared him a glance because of the name they happened to share. He’s just the means to an end; a way for a man’s legacy to live on when the man himself is no more.

Master Park has always, always been a business man. Never a father.

The sad thing isn't that Baekhyun ran away, but the fact that Baekhyun did because Chanyeol had been too busy wanting to be called a son to be the husband he promised to be.

“You need me for the company,” Chanyeol answers, voice having grown much deeper through the years. It might already be too late, but he would rather atone now than never at all. Even if Baekhyun isn’t here, he will change himself to be someone worthy of Baekhyun’s return. “If you insist on laying a hand on my marriage or ruining my husband, you best forget that you ever had a son.”

❀

[Beep.]

Ya! Kai! You rascal! What do you mean you 'took Baekhyun home', huh? Explain yourself to me quickly, you punk...! Argh, but that's not what I called for.

Don't come to the bar today, do you understand? Baekhyun, too. If he really is with you, then don’t bring him here. This is not a request. I can't believe I'm saying this... but it might be best that he stays with you for the time being. Don’t leave him alone. Wait, no, what I meant to say is that you leave him alone, just don’t let him out of your sight.

Geez, how do I even—? I'll just explain later. Call me as soon as you're awake.

[Beep.]

❀

Baekhyun has learned a lot about his host over the last two days.

Last night, he discovered that Kai absolutely loves dogs but is afraid to keep one because he's almost never home. They both agreed that the dog would only be lonely, they both also agreed that it’s too cruel to let any animal feel that kind of grief. If Kai ever changes his mind, Baekhyun would want to help take care of it.

He thinks that he and Kai could be good friends. Maybe, in another universe, they are and always have been. For some reason, it's just so easy to talk to Kai. He wouldn't mind listening to Kai’s stories for a few more days. Kai may be younger than he is, but Kai understands how lonely a beautiful house can be just the same.

Kai likes to part; likes being surrounded by people but is actually quite shy and doesn't want heaps of attention. Not all at once, at least. Baekhyun finds it a little difficult to believe because, to him, Kai is strong and charismatic. Kai, to him, is the type that seems to always be ready to take on the world. It takes someone brave (Kai believes 'stupid' is a better word, but keeps the thought to himself) to stand up for a stranger the way Kai did for him when he first started working at Lady Luck.

Kai's silver hair is actually for work and not (necessarily) because he's a troublemaker. Being a model suits him. Baekhyun thinks it's just right that that the world sees and admires this man.

Kai hadn't mentioned anything about his family. Maybe his isn't worth mentioning like Baekhyun's. Baekhyun wonders if they're anything like Chanyeol's; always in meetings or trips; always apart, even if they live in the same house. He wonders if it's common for chaebols' families to be lonely. Maybe Kai lives alone because it's the closest Kai gets to running away.

When he finds that Kai already awake, Baekhyun wonders if he’s not the only wishing they could spend more time together.

Truth be told, the last couple of nights make up one of the nicest experiences he has had in a while. He truly enjoyed just lazing around on a couch and watching improbable life situations on a big screen, so much that he couldn’t believe his own memories. He had spent many of his past nights trying to staying up all night while hoping that a phone will ring or staying inside the bathroom where no one can hear him cry. With Kai, it’s just… things are so different.

The thoughts end there. They have to, because when Wednesday morning comes, his wedding ring is still there and he's still just Byun Baekhyun, the boy who was whisked away to become a brick to build his husband's castle with. Wednesday should mean the end of the short dream.

Baekhyun easily understands all of this when Kai makes that turn for Lady Luck and heads for the same spot the man usually parked his car at. This is the end. He's supposed to let the memories in the penthouse become just that. Just memories.

“Thank you.”

“Don't run away from me anymore, understand?” Kai chuckles, just a little, before he turns the engine off. “I'll get your suitcase.”

Baekhyun immediately stops him and shakes his head. “No, let me do it,” he says. The younger man has already done so much for him. He can't let Kai do something so meager and, even if it weren't meager at all, he definitely can't let Kai do anything more for him. “I'm not that helpless.”

“What…? You’re not helpless. I don’t think of you like that at all.”

“Then let me do it, okay?”

“Okay, fine…” Kai relents, staring. After a short while, he speaks again. “By the way, I got a call this morning. From Xiumin. He said that you should take a leave from work.”

“Why is that? Am I fired?” Baekhyun asks immediately. He knew nothing about liquor or bars, but Xiumin still hired him because he had been very earnest.

“Ah—? No, no, nothing like that! Xiumin actually likes you a lot!”

Then why? Baekhyun doesn't understand. What use does he have if he doesn't work? How will he make money? He hasn't even found a place to stay in. He doesn't have enough money to rent an apartment. He doesn't want to become homeless.

“You just...can't go in Lady Luck for now,” Kai struggles to answer.

“Why? Did I do anything wrong? Did I break something?” Baekhyun presses, becoming slightly more desperate.

He can sell some of his belongings, perhaps, but he has taken little with him to begin with, just enough to fill the red suitcase. The suitcase is the only thing he received from his mother that reassured him she and Baekbeom were doing well on their own, somewhere. Selling it is as undesirable as pawning Chanyeol’s ring.

“Hear me out first, alright? I'm not really good at explaining things but... according to Umin-hyung, someone came looking for you,” Kai begins to explain, sighing while he runs a hand through his hair. “He said that whoever that person was, he has seen them around for a while now. Xiumin's gut feeling is always right, so if he's worried about you then I am, too. He doesn't want you in the bar as a precaution. He’s doing this for you. I don't want you going in there either but I thought—that—maybe two days might not be enough for you to trust me just yet.”

“I'm...I'm being stalked?”

“It's just a suspicion. We don't know for certain yet. Xiumin wants you to be safe. We want you to be safe.”

Baekhyun heaves. The sight of the dashboard seems to get farther and farther away.

Could it be the man in the black suit? Does Master Park know where he is? Does Chanyeol know where he is? Could it be Chanyeol looking for him?

“I said I wasn't going to ask and that we won't talk about it unless you want to, but Baekhyun, I really do care for you, and if your spouse is someone that can hurt you, if they have the power to—”

“No! No, he never hurt me. He never raised his hand," Baekhyun disagrees with utmost conviction. Chanyeol hasn’t looked for him, yes, but he doesn't believe Chanyeol would ever do that to him. Chanyeol wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. Chanyeol hasn't been the Happy Virus he once was, but surely— “He's not like that.”

“Are you sure? Has he ever scared you?” Kai asks, and he sighs for a second time when the only reply he gets is silence. “Has he, Baekhyun? Does he scare you?”

Rather than being scared of Chanyeol, Baekhyun is scared of being used against him. Even if Chanyeol hasn't been the best husband, Chanyeol is still his husband; the person he has chosen, the person he loves. He knows how much the company means to Chanyeol. Chanyeol’s reputation took years to carefully build. Baekhyun might never be enough to stand by Chanyeol’s side but, at the very least, he won't let himself become the reason that Chanyeol's name is tarnished.

How will he explain that to Kai? How? Where does he begin? Should he tell this person beside him about the person he calls his husband, knowing how powerful yet vulnerable Chanyeol’s position is?

“Baekhyun,” Kai’s struggle is apparent when the man speaks once more. “Tell me at least this, is your husband dangerous?”

“No, he wouldn't hurt anyone. Honestly, he never hurt me. He's... he was rarely even home,” Baekhyun mutters when he finally finds his voice. “I ran away because I couldn't make him happy. I believed that he couldn't be happy if I stayed.”

“Your husband...” Kai inhales, the sound is undeniable. He’s conflicted about how he's supposed to approach such a sensitive topic. He has avoided it for the last two days as courtesy to Baekhyun, but if there‘s any chance that the man in his passenger seat will get hurt right after he walks out of the car, then he’ll simply have to eat his own words. “I take it that your husband has money. If he has lots of it, then I also assume that he's also very important. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Baekhyun nods. The gesture really is nothing more than a very slight tip of the head. Anything he says from now on might be heard by Master Park or a rival company. If his silence is the only way he can help and protect Chanyeol, then he’ll continue to live this way. He shall live like this, mute and alone.

This is okay. Chanyeol hadn't wanted him anyway, and he didn't deserve Chanyeol to begin with. He ran away so Chanyeol could be free so he has no right to feel terrible; not about the great possibility of being replaced and definitely not about having left.

“Baekhyun... ah, seriously!” Kai hisses before he's revving up the car's engine again. Baekhyun looks at him in surprise, digging deeper into the seat when he reaches over and secures the seat belt back over the shorter man's chest.

“W-wait, what are you doing?”

“Xiumin said you're living with me, so we're going back to my place,” the chaebol explains. “I'm not going to wait until something happens to you before I—”

“And what about you? What if I really am being followed? What if they do more than just follow me around?” Baekhyun snaps, remembering how all this started with a man in a black suit coming into his childhood home. “What if you get hurt?”

Although his mother had given him away, it had been Master Park who made sure that he had nothing to look back to. She hadn't abandoned him, but he only realized this when Chanyeol received a package and found a letter addressed to him instead. Baekbeom wrote many more on behalf of their mother who didn't know how to write, yet it was the only letter he managed to get.

Baekhyun doesn't want any more of that. He doesn't want to think about the life he could've had. He doesn’t want to reach the point of hating what he has become, so he doesn't want Kai to fight for him. He doesn't want to think about Kai and his penthouse with a heavy heart when he has to leave.

“We’ll be alright, Baek—”

Two days with someone who is more than just a stranger is easier to let go than five years with someone who's been more than his first love. It's much easier to forget than the two decades he could've lived with his real family. If having a peaceful start is impossible, then he would rather voluntarily let go of it now than have someone forcefully take it from him again.

“No! You cannot expect me to be fine about risking you and Xiumin’s safety!”

“If we valued our safety over yours, we wouldn't be here right now.”

“Open the door,” Baekhyun tells the man in the driver's seat and, when Kai refuses, he unlocks it himself and hastens out of the Porsche.

Kai curses. He quickly turns the engine off again and jumps out of the car to chase after the smaller man.

He gave Baekhyun a choice; to leave with him or to move forward alone. He should do this. He should let Baekhyun decide because it's Baekhyun’s life. He had been nothing but a stranger two days ago, after all. But, if Baekhyun learned much about him over the last couple of days, then so has he.

“I don't care about money!” Kai shouts. “I don't care whether you want to keep the past to yourself or your husband is some big shot politician! Baekhyun—”

“You don't know what you're saying!”

There's a stinging in his eyes that Baekhyun tries to chase away. He wants to stay but he knows he can't. He can't possibly ask to stay, he can’t ask this from them. He can't possibly drag anyone else into his affairs, but what chance does he stand against a name he himself can't forget? If it truly is Master Park's doing, then how can he repay the kindness Xiumin and Kai have shown him with Master Park's cruelty?

“You don't even know me,” Baekhyun’s throat feels tight when he answers. He wants so much to surrender. He’s exhausted, but he must do this. He should leave. But, god, how much longer will he have to bear this…?

It’s Kai who responds with silence this time, and he hopes it's because the younger man is in thought. He hopes that Kai finally realizes how it makes so little sense to offer this much to someone he has known for only a few months. Baekhyun doesn't want things to make sense so neither of them gets too attached. That way, it would hurt less when he becomes nothing more than a footnote in Kai's past as well.

“You don't know me either, Baekhyun, yet you worry about me.”

“You're Kai,” Baekhyun mutters, wiping his watery eyes. “You told me twice.”

“My real name is Kim Jongin,” Kai finds himself saying; confessing. His birth name sounds so foreign to his own ears. He hasn't heard it for so long… he hasn't used it for far longer.

'Kai' is for people he doesn't intend to keep. It’s for people he sleeps with and forgets the following morning, like every night’s dream. It's the name he doesn't mind nameless faces to curse at. It's not the name he wants Baekhyun to remember him by because ‘Kai’ isn’t the person he has spent the previous nights with Baekhyun as.

“I'm the son of the man behind K&J Enterprises. I have more money than I know how to spend. Whether it's a place to live in or money to get away from your husband, I can help you,” for once in his life, Kai doesn’t feel ashamed of his real name. “Please, Baekhyun. Let me help you.”