Mingyu knew he wasn’t being fair. He knew it wasn’t fair to just get up and leave without an explanation but he did anyway. It was a decision he made weeks ago but he never gathered enough courage to actually walk away.

Walk away if you’re unhappy, they said. Walk away if you’re done, they said. Yeah, people talk about it like it’s the easiest thing to do and perhaps at some point, Mingyu let himself believe that it actually was that simple.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. They were supposed to be one of those teenagers deeply in love. They were supposed to be taking on the world together. They were supposed to be planning their future together. They were supposed to be having the time of their lives. They were supposed to live happily ever after but whatever they had has screeched to a halt. Everything they stood up for and everything they fought for had crashed down as if to crush them.

When the words left his mouth, Mingyu prepared himself for what was to come. A slap on the face, a cold hearted remark, a strong protest or having the door slammed in his face. He had expected everything and anything nasty but to his surprise, he doesn’t receive any of it. Instead, he was given a light nod and a barely audible, “okay.”

Mingyu didn’t want to leave. Honestly, he wanted nothing more than to stay but he knew, if he stayed longer, he’d end up destroying himself.

Wonwoo didn’t need to tell or assure him, as he wasn’t the type to speak his mind or talk about his problems, but Mingyu always knew where he stood in the elder’s life. Wonwoo may not be an affectionate person but he lets Mingyu cling onto him and initiate most of their physical contact. Wonwoo may be very cautious to his surroundings but he acts freely when Mingyu’s around. Wonwoo may be very careful with his words but he speaks openly to Mingyu. Wonwoo may not admit it but Mingyu knew he had an important place in Wonwoo’s life.

Maybe somewhere along the way, Wonwoo decided that Mingyu wasn’t good enough for him anymore. Maybe Wonwoo found someone better than him. Maybe Wonwoo wanted something Mingyu couldn’t offer. Or maybe Wonwoo simply wasn’t interested anymore.

Mingyu calls himself a fool for thinking they would be better if he gave Wonwoo more space, because after a few weeks and months, nothing changed. In fact, it got worse. But even so, Mingyu didn’t give up and continued to withstand until he couldn’t take it anymore.

During that period of time, dating Wonwoo was like dating a wall.

So when Wonwoo didn’t stop him from walking away, Mingyu accepted it as it is. He accepted the cold truth, the harsh reality, that his existence no longer meant anything to Jeon Wonwoo.

Mingyu knew it was selfish of him to feel this way, but he couldn’t help but expected Wonwoo to be more heartbroken. Maybe somewhere deep inside of him, he wanted Wonwoo to be more devastated in losing him.

But he didn’t seem to bother or care at all.

Even so, Mingyu doesn’t regret his choice nor does he feel sad about it. Why would he anyway? He did it for the better. Having to put in so much into a relationship but never receiving anything in return. Not that he actually expected anything, but being the only one putting in so much effort, it felt unfair. It was painful to keep hoping he’ll make a move. Too painful to hope for a better tomorrow because honestly, it’s the same thing every single day.

So rather than to keep hurting himself, rather than to keep hoping with false hopes, Mingyu decided its better to just let go. Someday he’ll find someone who’s willing to put in their part for him. Someday, he’ll find someone who appreciates his effort. But then finding someone new would mean starting all over again. Back to the basics, back from the beginning and that would also mean trying not to find Wonwoo or his habits in someone else.

But either way, Mingyu doesn’t stress about it too much because eventually he’ll get over them anyway.

Or so he hopes.