day - 3

shim changmin is going to the military in no time soon, and everyone in the company blabbers about the thing. really, i wish that i could shut every one who talks about it. i hate to hear it. that changmin sunbaenim is leaving, okay. but can people stop making that thing a fuss? he will come back in 2 years, duh. unless he will leave for real in the midst of that military service, that is.

oh, oops.

i'm not wishing that he will leave for real but... if someday he vanishes from my sight, then i will be so ing delighted. if you're wondering why, then the only reason is that i hate him. 

ok, another why, no?

heh, it's because the thing about him is; he is shim changmin, the worst thing that i've ever met in my precious life. i know that he's such a sweety in those tv screens but gah, i wish everyone knows how two faced can he be.

see, is he also a genie? every time i mention his name even in my mind, he always appears from nowhere. sigh. i can't wait for the day where i won't see him again.

"ssup, kitty, snack time." i glare at him while still laying on the waiting room's couch. he walks towards me with a heavy plastic bag hanging on his right hand. well, i have to admit he is a bit adorable at this kind of time.

getting up, i say lazily: "i'm not your cat."

"well, you are my kitty. where are the others?" he says, preparing the food on the table before then sitting beside me and lay his head on my shoulder.

"victoria is going nowhere, luna is meeting her boyfriend and amber is going around with her friends." i say as i frown feeling his heavy head.

"oh," he pauses and feed me a piece of rice cake. "you did great today."

i continue to munch on my food before responding him. "i know." a silence then happened for awhile as we continue eating our food that he brought.

"d – 3." changmin says suddenly, breaking the silence while he lays his head on the couch head.

"yes, i'm going to have a party." i say after i finish my food. i lay my head down on his arm and close my eyes, today is a bit tiring so i have no choice. i often do that anyways.

"ugh," changmin groans. even if i can't see his face, i know that he's rolling his eyes on my words. "you're so mean, you know that?"

i snap my eyes open and glare at him. "look at who's talking."

he looks at me with his not so innocent face, the face that i really want to punch the most. "what?"

"you're always acting like you never did anything wrong."

"true though."

"oh shut up," i scoff, this guy is trying to boil me with rage for real. "who the hell made me wait until midnight in a freaking coffee shop when that person didn't even come?"

changmin stays silent.

"then the next morning i saw that person with this girl which i don't really like, walking with his arm being threw freely onto this girl's shoulder. and yet this person still thinks that i know nothing and i'm fine with it. whoa." i flash a painful smile while moving a bit further from changmin.

this is why i hate him. he lies about all things yet he asks me to tell him about literally everything. he promises me things yet he breaks it. he is confusing. sometimes he's like this and sometimes he's like that. he makes me pity myself and i really hate it. he makes my hopes high when he knows that i'm trying to keep them small.

i hate shim changmin.

"i'm sorry."

i hate that sorry too. that word has been spoken to me for like many times already but he doesn't even change, he's still the same.

i hate him.

can he make my heart feels at ease for at least one time?

"i didn't tell you because i was scared that you'll be hurt." he grabs my shoulder and looks at me in the eyes.

"i am hurting. you didn't tell me and i still feel hurt." i—hopefully—slap him with those true words and looks at him with my shaking eyes.

"i'm sorry... i didn't mean to. i didn't come because i—i—" he looks down and lets out a heavy sigh.

my eyes start to well up with tears as he can't continue his words. i wipe my eyes slightly and stand up, deciding to stay at anywhere but here with him. "forget it." i say, walking out from the room; leaving him behind.

/

a/n: an idea just came up. sorry cynosure readers, my mind is still blank now. but don't worry! won't keep you wait that long. ; ;