a/n: baekchen, au (high school), drama and fluff (i guess), ~9000 words. this fic has been resting in the notes on my phone for several months, and since i haven't uploaded anything in a long time i might as well post it (in the midst of the cbx debut and all!!)
anyway, enjoy!

image credit: krisinsanity

 

It is too absurd.

Byun Baekhyun is stuck in a tiny closet. It is pitch dark. He is not alone, either, he’s in the company of his childhood best friend. Whom he also happens to have severe romantic feelings for. Because of the closet space (or, lack thereof), said best friend is standing awfully, almost inappropriately close to Baekhyun. It’s absolutely horrifying yet amazing at the same time. And it is quite hot in there, too, or maybe it’s just because Baekhyun is practically sweating rivers at this moment.

To top it all off, they are supposed to kiss. That’s right, pushing their lips together in a rather romantic fashion. Maybe even exchange some saliva (that is a pretty gross way of putting it, but Baekhyun doesn’t mind). There is just one problem. His best friend doesn’t even know it’s him.

Baekhyun attempts to wipe some sweat off of his palms onto his trousers. How the hell did he even end up in this situation?

Let’s go back in time. Rewind. This is what has happened:

 

“I’m planning to have a party this Saturday, wanna come?” was the first thing Chanyeol said to Baekhyun when they met at school that Monday morning. He was flashing Baekhyun one of those huge, expectant smiles he does far too often, and well, Baekhyun hadn’t planned anything in particular for the next weekend anyway.

“Yeah, sure. Who else’ll come?”

“I was thinking of inviting most of our classmates, you know, the usual crew. My parents are away this weekend and my sister promised to sleep over at a friend’s on Saturday night, so we’ll have my entire place for ourselves. You think 10 would be a good time to start?”

“I guess”, Baekhyun said, and because he’s a good friend he added, “Do you need help with any preparations?”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’m just gonna buy some snacks and stuff during the day. My sister said she could get us something to drink if we promise not to get too drunk.”

“Really? Your sister is too good for this world.”

Chanyeol smiled.

“She really is. Anyway, I suppose I should talk to the others… oh!” he interrupted himself, looking like he had an idea. This could be a worry because Chanyeol’s ideas were usually more or less terrible.

“You should invite Jongdae, too”, Chanyeol then suggested with a greasy smile and a fricking wink. Baekhyun felt his face heat up in embarrassment. This could have been a highly ordinary suggestion if it wasn’t for the questionable face Chanyeol was making.

“S'pose I could, but what are you really trying to say?” Baekhyun therefore asked, still a little flustered.

“Nothing?” Chanyeol replied with the sweetest smile he could manage, faking innocence.

“What’s with the winking, then? Do you have any ulterior motives?”

“No, not at all! I just think Jongdae is a nice guy and want to invite him to the party, am I not allowed to do that?” Chanyeol continued with that smile still on his lips, before releasing a small chuckle. “Or maybe you want him all for yourself?”

“Oh, shut up”, was Baekhyun’s lame excuse for a comeback. Chanyeol giggled a little but finally removed himself from the desk next to Baekhyun, probably leaving to tell the others about his party. Baekhyun stayed where he was, wondering if Chanyeol did have any ulterior motives about inviting Jongdae, or if the winking was just him being greasy about mentioning the name of Baekhyun’s crush to him.

 

The thing is, the horribly embarrassing thing is, that Baekhyun has for some reason fallen in love with a friend of his: Kim Jongdae. Actually, he’s not just any friend. And Baekhyun did not just fall for him recently, either; this is something that has been going on for a while. He and Jongdae are as a matter of fact childhood friends, who used to be neighbours as toddlers, growing up in the company of each other. They went to both elementary and middle school together, too. It is just now, in high school, that they’re not classmates anymore. They are not even attending the same school.

Jongdae’s entire family is Christian and his parents put him in a Catholic school for his secondary education. But in spite of that, he and Baekhyun are still friends and hang out as much as they possibly can. It has been a little difficult lately, though, with school being more time-consuming than ever before. Baekhyun has also realised that sometimes he skips hanging out with Jongdae not because he doesn’t have any time for it, but by choice. When he started high school almost two years ago he made new friends, most prominent of all Chanyeol, who managed to become his best friend (at least amongst his schoolmates). However, the main reason is that lately Baekhyun feels like he can’t deal with himself when he is with Jongdae. It is like he can’t control his actions, his emotions, his ability to speak, everything. It’s easier chatting online or sending text messages than actually talking face to face with Jongdae. Whenever he does that, Baekhyun starts feeling immensely sweaty and can’t manage to look Jongdae in the eyes. He is almost shy, which is awfully strange, because Baekhyun has never in his life been shy. His behaviour around Jongdae has changed dramatically, and he does not want Jongdae to notice that.

At the same time, the time he spends with Jongdae is usually his absolute favourite. They have known each other for such a long time, and still have so much fun together. The feeling he gets whenever he manages to make Jongdae laugh is the best feeling ever, Baekhyun has decided. The way he smiles is incredibly beautiful, which is unfair because no man should be allowed to be that pretty, Baekhyun thinks. Said smile is in all honesty angelic, but with a small hint of mischief to it that can literally cause Baekhyun to feel weak in his knees. Not to mention how much he loves listening to Jongdae’s voice, it doesn’t matter if he is laughing, talking or (best of all) singing. The clever things he says, his somewhat awful but still ridiculously funny jokes, and the really sweet stuff he tells Baekhyun sometimes, it is all amazing.

Jongdae, of course, is unaware of Baekhyun’s feelings. And while he sometimes dreams of the two of them being in a romantic relationship rather than it being simply platonic, Baekhyun prefers it to stay that way. It sounds like a cliché, but Baekhyun is sure Jongdae would never like him in that way, and he doesn’t want to shatter their long-lasting friendship by confessing. Besides, he has absolutely no idea how Jongdae feels about same- relationships. Jongdae has always seemed like an openminded and accepting person, but Baekhyun doesn’t know what kind of stuff his parents have said to him, or what he’s being taught at that Catholic school of his. Jongdae isn’t fanatically Christian, but he is still loyal to his faith and Baekhyun wonders how much he believes in the whole stereotypical “homouality is sin” thing. He is far too nervous to ask him about it, though. Jongdae would definitely think something fishy’s going on.

Because of this, Baekhyun is at a standstill when it comes to his love life. In the ideal world, he and Jongdae would be a couple, but Baekhyun prefers to think realistically. Something like that wouldn’t ever happen, no matter how much he wants it to. Really.

However, for some inexplicable reason, Chanyeol has shown himself to be strangely supportive of Baekhyun’s feelings and has told him countless of times to confess to Jongdae. Baekhyun does not know why. It is somewhat absurd. What does Chanyeol gain from Baekhyun confessing to his childhood friend? Well, Baekhyun can admit he is a bit bitter sometimes because of his crush on Jongdae. It’s inevitable; having overwhelmingly romantic feelings for someone you can never end up with or even confess to is at times just awful. He supposes Chanyeol doesn’t want him to feel down, and that’s nice enough.

 

Baekhyun could clearly recall the moment Chanyeol found out about his feelings. It was when they were still in their first year of high school, a little less than a year since Baekhyun had figured out said feelings by himself. At that time, he had somehow managed to have a girl asking him out. Baekhyun had been incredibly flattered (and pleasantly surprised; he was self-aware enough to know that he for some reason wasn’t considered one of the prettiest boys in his class), but ended up saying no, to Chanyeol’s great surprise.

“Why did you refuse? She was really cute and all!” was what he had to say about that.

“I know, it’s just… I don’t like her that way. I couldn’t go out with her just to be nice, without having feelings for her. It would just feel like a big lie. And there’s someone else that I like, anyway”, Baekhyun answered vaguely, not expecting Chanyeol to pick up on that very last thing he said.

“Who is that? Can’t you ask her out, then? You should really try going out with someone, you know.”

“Well… I know they don’t return my feelings, so… it would be pretty useless to do that”, Baekhyun said with a small (fake) laugh, trying to wave it off as nothing so that they could leave the subject. Chanyeol, however, was not done.

“Why are you referring to them with gender neutral pronouns? Is it a guy, or something?” he exclaimed and laughed loudly at his own joke. Baekhyun, however, remained silent. When Chanyeol noticed that Baekhyun wasn’t laughing, he eyed him suspiciously.

“Wait… don’t tell me… it is a guy?!”

Baekhyun, knowing he had no choice but to tell the truth, nodded.

“Oh… um, I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” Chanyeol actually managed to look rather ashamed of himself, tearing his gaze away from Baekhyun, his pointy ears turning red. “I had no idea you were, y'know… Um, anyway, who is it? Don’t… Don’t tell me it’s me!”

Chanyeol’s eyes were wide and panicky, and Baekhyun couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“It’s not you, you conceited ”, he said with a smile. “Not at all.”

“Then-”

“It’s Jongdae.”

“Your childhood friend? Well, considering how much you talk about him I’m actually not very surprised”, Chanyeol said. Back then, he hadn’t met Jongdae, only heard what Baekhyun had told him. But Baekhyun was happy Chanyeol wasn’t judging him for liking another boy, who also happened to have been his friend since they were kids.

Not too long after that Baekhyun arranged for them to meet, finally introducing them to each other. Fortunately, they both immediately hit it off, Baekhyun supposed they were a bit similar in their interests and a little in personality, too. Actually, when Jongdae was out of hearing distance Chanyeol had told him: “Y'know, I can understand why you like him. He is kinda cute. I mean, no homo, but you get me.”

Baekhyun had rolled his eyes, but was still thankful that Chanyeol wasn’t being too weird about this.

 

Because Chanyeol and Jongdae get along very well Baekhyun has been bringing Chanyeol with him when he’s hanging out with Jongdae lately. Neither of the two seem to object, and Baekhyun thinks it’s a bit relieving not to be on his own with Jongdae. Even though he can be a non-stop talking machine at times Chanyeol still hasn’t said a word to Jongdae about Baekhyun’s feelings, which Baekhyun greatly appreciates. And he hoped Chanyeol, after all this time, wasn’t planning to do something like that at the party. Baekhyun could not help but feel a little suspicious, after all.

 

Still, at a break later that afternoon he called Jongdae to inform him of Chanyeol’s invitation.

“Hello?”, Jongdae answered after nine and a half seconds, and Baekhyun’s whole body felt warmer just by hearing Jongdae’s somewhat distorted voice through the phone.

“Jongdae-yah it’s me”, he replied, “you also have your break now, right?”

“Yeah, you’re lucky I do! Teacher would’ve killed me if my phone rang during class.”

“You should turn it off, then”, Baekhyun suggested, trying not to sound like he was scolding his friend.

“But I don’t wanna miss any messages from you…” Jongdae whined in a manner he knew was cute and Baekhyun could picture the kind of face Jongdae was making. He was too weak.

“Kim Jongdae, you’re hopeless”, he sighed, attempting to hide the affection in his tone. Unfortunately, Jongdae seemed to have picked it up.

“You love me”, he therefore said teasingly, and he had no idea how right he was. Baekhyun resisted the urge to sigh again.

“Yeah…” he replied, not aware of what he was saying until it was too late.

“Eh?”

Baekhyun’s mouth went completely dry.

“I m-mean, of course I love you, you’re my best friend” he sputtered unconvincingly, “anyway, Chanyeol’s having a party this Saturday, wanna come?”

“I… I’m not sure, do I know anyone there?” Jongdae replied, the playful tone in his voice gone.

“You know me. And Chanyeol. It was his idea to invite you, he really wants you to come.”

“Huh… That’s nice of him. But I don’t know anyone else…” Jongdae still sounded doubtful.

“The others are cool too, you’re gonna like them. Besides, why would you even say no to a party?”

“You’re probably right. Even if I don’t get along with them, I’ll still have you. But could we maybe meet up before it starts? I don’t know where Chanyeol lives.”

“Yeah, sure. We’re gonna start around ten, so half past nine maybe?” Baekhyun suggested.

“Sounds good.”

“It’s gonna be great, don’t worry”, Baekhyun reassured the still a bit hesitant Jongdae.

“Hm, yeah. It’s just… can’t we hang out by ourselves sometime? I mean, I have nothing against Chanyeol, but it’s been such a long time since we were just the two of us…” Jongdae said and Baekhyun swore his heartbeat increased in frequency at those words. Of course Jongdae had noticed his pathetic attempts to avoid being on his own with him. Hopefully he didn’t suspect anything. It was just that if the two of them were alone, Jongdae would definitely start to suspect a thing or two. That’s how awkward Baekhyun was around him lately.

Trying to change subjects, Baekhyun briefly replied,

“Yes, sure. Party first though. Anyway, my next lesson starts soon, so… We’ll speak later?”

“Yeah! See you!”

“Bye!”

When he hung up, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel both nervous and excited about the upcoming Saturday.

 

The entire rest of the week felt like it was going by a whole lot slower than usual; perhaps Baekhyun was too impatient to wait for the Saturday evening to arrive. But it did eventually, and finally it was almost time for the party Baekhyun had looked forward to the whole week. He had showered, attempted to give himself a cool hairstyle with the aid of some hairspray just to give up and let his long, black bangs fall halfway over his eyes like they usually do. However, Baekhyun chose an outfit consisting of relatively fancy (though far from high-end) brand clothes that he bought for occasions like these, and used some of the liquid eyeliner he had purchased in secret to accentuate his eyes, making them stand out more where they were half-hidden behind his bangs. Looking in the mirror, Baekhyun was rather pleased with himself when he suddenly realised he was supposed to meet with Jongdae outside his house. Scrambling to pick up his jacket, phone, and shoes Baekhyun soon left his house, shouting a good-bye to his parents to declare his departure.

Jongdae was already standing outside, waiting with a smile on his pretty face.

“You’re two minutes late”, he said as a greeting, still flashing Baekhyun that dazzling smile.

“I’m so sorry”, Baekhyun replied in an unconvincing attempt to sound sarcastic. “Let’s just go.”

“Oh!” Jongdae exclaimed just as Baekhyun was about to start walking in the direction to Chanyeol’s neighbourhood, “wait a bit.”

Baekhyun did as he was told and stopped in his tracks, only to watch Jongdae take a few steps closer. Not being able to meet Jongdae’s curious eyes, Baekhyun looked down as the former raised a hand to swipe away Baekhyun’s fringe from his eyes. A touch as simple as that was already too shiver-inducing, no need to make it worse.

“You’re wearing eyeliner! You know I like when you do that. It looks so good on you”, Jongdae said with what was presumably a smile, Baekhyun could not tell as he wasn’t able to look at the other’s face at the moment.

“Thanks”, Baekhyun mumbled embarrassedly, cheeks feeling hotter than what was appropriate after receiving a simple compliment from a friend.

“Yah, you don’t believe me! I really mean it!” Jongdae insisted, clearly having misinterpreted Baekhyun’s silent grumbling as sarcasm.

“I know, I know. I look amazing. Not even you are able to resist me now”, Baekhyun therefore said, pathetically trying to lighten the mood. Jongdae snorted.

“Why can’t you take my compliments seriously? What to do with you…” he shook his head.

“Luckily, you have me all to yourself the entire way to Chanyeol’s house. Make sure to spend the time well”, Baekhyun continued, for some reason he started babbling nonsense when he was made too nervous. As was evident.

“I will!” replied Jongdae goodheartedly, and so they took off towards the neighbourhood where Chanyeol lived.

 

Chanyeol seemed happy about Baekhyun bringing Jongdae along with him, as he hugged the latter with an awkward pat on the back (to make sure it stayed in “just bros” territory - after all, hugs could be misinterpreted) upon their entry. They were two of the first ones to arrive, but soon enough Chanyeol’s family’s apartment filled up with more people, most of them a selection of his and Baekhyun’s classmates.

Like she had said she would, Chanyeol’s sister had actually provided them with beer. However, as she was a responsible older sibling, she had not bought enough for them to get drunk on. There were about eight cans waiting in one of the cupboards in the kitchen, which was far too little to be enough for all of them. Baekhyun was one of the few to take the news well, though, as he had planned not to get too drunk in case Chanyeol had some stupid idea in mind for the evening (it wouldn’t be the first time). The majority of the others who had looked forward to drinking were less thrilled, however. They still managed to share the booze between themselves, thankfully, with a few drinking a little more than the others.

Chanyeol, for example, must have done so, Baekhyun concluded after a bit of the evening had gone by. He was being a bit more obnoxious than usual and was constantly heard shouting over the music he was playing at a higher and higher volume.

Jongdae was also a bit more giggly than he normally was, which seemed to be to his advantage as it made him hit it off pretty well with Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s classmates. He had never been a particularly shy person, really, but having a little to drink might have calmed any eventual nerves. It was nice seeing Jongdae getting along with his classmates, Baekhyun thought, but at the same time he could not refrain from feeling a bit like… he wasn’t sure. It might have been jealousy. Like he would much rather have Jongdae for himself instead of letting the others take him away from him. Which they were not even doing. Baekhyun was being unnecessarily silly, and he hadn’t even drunk anything.

 

As the night went on, Chanyeol decided it was time to take advantage of his powers as a host and make everyone participate in activities together. When he exclaimed it was time for a good old game of Truth or Dare, they all happily joined in as if they were still in middle school. Baekhyun had to admit he rather liked the game, it was fun and sometimes even intriguing to watch his classmates make a confession or do something humiliating. Maybe he enjoyed the somewhat gossipy aspect of it all. Who liked whom, what people’s secrets were, which things they felt the most embarrassed about doing. Of course, there was also a thrill of participating; he, too, was at the risk of having to humiliate himself. He could not know what was going to happen in advance, after all.

It started out relatively tame, with people having to confess which embarrassing pop group they secretly liked, or being dared to smell someone else’s (Chanyeol’s) shoes. Baekhyun ended up getting dared to dance a popular y girl group choreography, which he didn’t know very well, resulting in lots of (far from) y improv. He was applauded at the end, which was enough for him to feel satisfied with his attempts.

Naturally, the game later took a romance-y kind of direction, as it usually tends to do after a while. That was when Jongdae first got asked the classic question.

“Um, Jongdae, truth or dare?” uttered one of the girls from Baekhyun’s class. Jongdae looked somewhat surprised but quickly collected himself and smiled sweetly at said classmate (Baekhyun was not jealous, he was really not).

“Hm, truth, maybe…?” he replied, in spite of Chanyeol having stated early on that those who chose truth were “boring prudes”.

“Okay… so… how many have you kissed?”

It was a pretty unoriginal question, really, which Chanyeol seemed to agree with.

“Aw, c'mon, who even keeps track of stuff like that??” he asked loudly from where he was sitting next to Baekhyun.

“Oh… um, well… I, I actually… I haven’t kissed anyone. Not like that, anyway”, Jongdae answered, looking a little embarrassed.

“What, really?!” one of Baekhyun’s classmates exclaimed, and Baekhyun had to admit he shared the same sentiments. Had Jongdae really… never…? When he thought about it, he could not recall Jongdae going out with someone or having kissed or anything. And Baekhyun knew he would be the first one to know about it, considering how close the two of them were. Jongdae would definitely tell him about something like that.

But how could he not have kissed anyone? Jongdae was not very shy and didn’t have problems talking to people, and he absolutely wasn’t ugly. Rather the opposite, really. So how could he not have…?

“It’s that school he goes to, y'know, it’s all religious and stuff. He probably can’t kiss anyone until after marriage”, Chanyeol joked, and Baekhyun elbowed him harshly. Jongdae, fortunately, did not seem too offended.

“Nah, it’s not like that… I just haven’t found someone I want to kiss, I suppose…?” he said with a small smile, shrugging. Baekhyun desperately tried to meet his gaze but Jongdae was avoiding him, or rather, looking everywhere; constantly switching the direction of his gaze. On the other hand, Baekhyun could spot Chanyeol looking at him from his side, for some reason. Baekhyun decided to ignore him.

As expected, the game then continued, but Baekhyun found it a bit harder to pay attention to the others playing it; what Jongdae had said was still in his thoughts, nagging at his brain. Was it really true? Or did Jongdae lie, for some inexplicable reason? Though, Baekhyun couldn’t come up with anything that might have made Jongdae want to lie, after all the confession of not having kissed anyone was a pretty embarrassing one to make.

It was rather cute, actually. That he hadn’t had his first real kiss yet. Not that it had to be meaningful or anything, Baekhyun had received his during a classmate’s birthday party in elementary school while playing around. And since then he had kissed a bunch of other people, too, but not a lot and he had never gone much further than that. Which he thought was considered embarrassing at his age, not having gone further than kissing, but clearly Jongdae was even more inexperienced.

When Baekhyun thought about it, if he actually got the chance to take his love life a step further there would only be one person he’d like to do so with. And that person had not had his first kiss. Seriously, what wouldn’t he do to be the first, exclusively lucky, person to kiss Kim Jongdae? Baekhyun almost sighed out loud, and was glad he didn’t when he spotted Chanyeol directing that glance at him again.

After one guy had been dared to sit through three rounds in only his underwear, another guy had confessed which third-year girl he would like to do the nasty with, and two girls were dared to make out, Chanyeol was asked the question which had given the game its name. He immediately chose dare, which wasn’t much of a surprise.

The entire room was giggling when Chanyeol was dared to open a window and shout as loud as he could what kind of underwear he was wearing. In reality, it was really childish, but when you’re at a party with some friends where most of said friends have had a little to drink, the sight of a 1,8 metres tall guy yelling “I’m wearing Spongebob boxers” with his awfully deep voice is pretty hilarious. Baekhyun was not the one laughing the least, so to say.

Finally, Chanyeol sat down amongst them again, cheeks somewhat red after having declared his choice of underwear to the entire neighbourhood; Baekhyun did not blame him for that. Instead he patted his friend on the back, directing a smile towards him. It was all in good fun. But when Chanyeol looked at him and suddenly smiled back with what looked more like a smirk, Baekhyun’s own smile faded a bit.

“Jongdae, truth or dare?” Chanyeol then almost immediately asked, quickly adding, “choose dare.”

“What the hell, aren’t you gonna let him choose whatever he wants?” Baekhyun exclaimed, still in a more goodhearted manner than anything, despite already feeling a bit suspicious over Chanyeol’s choice of victim participant.

“It’s alright”, Jongdae said diplomatically, “I chose truth last time, so I might as well choose dare.”

“Now, what are you gonna make me do?” he then asked, directing a smile towards Chanyeol.

“Well…” Chanyeol tried to play it cool, but Baekhyun could sense that he was actually almost bursting with enthusiasm.

“Since you haven’t had your first kiss yet, do you want the chance to, how should I say it, lose your kiss ity? Just to get it over with?”

Jongdae seemed a little taken aback, but he also had a curious look in his eyes. Some of the others actually seemed a bit interested as well.

“Well… I don’t know, what do you mean?”

Chanyeol could barely hide his excitement anymore, flashing a smile that displayed just about every single tooth in his mouth.

“I could send you into another room and turn the lights off, so it’s completely dark. Then I send in one of the girls here to kiss you, and you won’t know who it is. That way you’ll get it over with, and you don’t have to care about who your first kiss was with because you won’t even know!”

Chanyeol seemed rather pleased with himself, but Baekhyun’s whole body went cold. What kind of dare was that? Especially when Chanyeol was well aware of Baekhyun’s feelings towards Jongdae… Was this some kind of revenge for Baekhyun laughing at him before? That would be horrible. A terrible thing to do to someone who thought of him as a friend.

Biting his lip, Baekhyun tried to remain cool, at least on the outside. He really shouldn’t be so jealous. It’s not like first kisses matter more than any other kisses anyway yes they do. And as Chanyeol said, Jongdae won’t even know who he kissed. It was not that bad yes it was.

“Um… do I have a choice?” Jongdae looked less intimidated by the dare than Baekhyun expected, but he was still visibly nervous.

Chanyeol shook his head.

“Okay, whatever. Let’s get this over with, then”, Jongdae said with a small sigh and an even smaller, slightly nervous, smile.

“Great! I’ll take you to the closet in my parents’ room, then”, Chanyeol informed, putting a hand on Jongdae’s back and leading him around the corner to the next room. When the two were out of sight the others instantly started chatting amongst themselves; it was obvious that this was one of the most intriguing dares of the evening. Even the occasional giggle of excitement could be heard.

Baekhyun, however, was less amused. He found he couldn’t look anywhere, the sight of his classmates, especially the girls, made him acquire that awful, heavy feeling in his chest that just would not go away. One of them was about to do what Baekhyun had longed to do for years, and they had no idea how lucky they were; of course he was jealous. Not admitting it to himself at this point would just be dumb.

After enduring several seconds that felt more like minutes, or even hours, Baekhyun observed with both relief and dread Chanyeol entering the room again. He was met with expectant glances, most of them looking quite excited, except for one girl who (foolishly) asked if she could opt out of the selection. Chanyeol’s answer came as a surprise to all of them:

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t pick you. I already know the one.”

After that, things suddenly went quite fast. Chanyeol barely looked at Baekhyun before grabbing his arm and managing to make him stand up on his wobbly legs (Baekhyun was too taken by surprise to be able to do such an easy task by himself). Not yet understanding, Baekhyun threw Chanyeol a questioning look, though the rest of their classmates seemed even more puzzled than that. When he then realised what was about to happen, Baekhyun could barely manage to listen to the surprised exclamations of the others, and the only thing he heard from Chanyeol’s explanation was “- it will be an amazing prank, don’t you get it? Jongdae leans in for the kiss, Baekhyun turns on the lights and reveals himself!”

It was not until they had left the room that Baekhyun regained the ability to speak.

“Chanyeol, what the ?”

The mentioned stopped them in the middle of the hallway, looking at Baekhyun with excitement in his big eyes.

“What, this is your chance! You’ll get to kiss him, and he won’t know it’s you! I’m doing you a favour, y'know.”

“But, but-” Baekhyun didn’t even know where to begin. It felt wrong, dishonest, to trick Jongdae into doing something like that. And what if he, in spite of everything, found out it was Baekhyun? It was too risky. Yet, it was probably as Chanyeol said: his only chance... Besides, the thought of someone else kissing Jongdae was even more awful.

“It’s- how do you even think this’ll work out? Isn’t it kinda creepy? And what will you tell the others afterwards?”

“Oh. Yeah. We’ll come up with something, I’m sure. We can tell them he kissed your hand or something instead. Or, like, a doll. I don’t know. Don’t think about it too much, at least you’ll get to kiss him, yeah?”

Despite the obvious issues that Baekhyun had already brought to Chanyeol’s attention, the thought of actually kissing Jongdae was alluring enough for Baekhyun to recklessly throw his doubts and morals into an imaginary garbage bin. Since when had good old Chanyeol become such a pro at persuading people?

Baekhyun therefore found himself nodding before he could reach for whatever rationality he had left in some dark corner of his brain.

Chanyeol smiled widely at the gesture.

“Good! Don’t make things so difficult for yourself. I’m just trying to help you out”, he said and they then continued the short walk to the closet. Baekhyun felt almost dizzy when they reached it and Chanyeol knocked twice, announcing that “Jongdae, I’ve brought a girl! Turn around and don’t turn back until I say it’s okay.”

When Chanyeol slowly opened the closet door, Baekhyun was faced with the fact that the closet was small. Very small. And most of the space was occupied with different kinds of clothes on hangers. Of course, he had been to Chanyeol’s place many times before, but his parents’ closet was not the place they usually hung out in.

Chanyeol patted Baekhyun’s back and tried to almost shove him into the cramped space, where the sight of Jongdae’s back was awaiting him.

“Stay where you are, here she comes!” Chanyeol then told Jongdae, enthusiasm not very well hidden in his voice, and Baekhyun couldn’t keep himself from elbowing Chanyeol at the second time of referring to him with female pronouns. It felt rather unnecessary. Jongdae already knew, or rather, thought, that the person to kiss him would be a girl.

“Ow! Why’d you do that for?” Chanyeol exclaimed before pushing Baekhyun inside the closet a bit more harshly, then closing the door. After a couple of seconds, he shouted for Jongdae to turn back around.

“Wow”, Jongdae said, or more like breathed, a bit nervously. Baekhyun could actually feel Jongdae’s hot puff of air on his face; that was how close they were.

“So… I guess you wouldn’t like to talk, in case your voice gives you away, but… If you don’t want me touching you, you can try to find my face or something so we can get this over with”, he then suggested with a small laugh, and Baekhyun could imagine the exact face he was making, the slightly nervous smile on his kitten-like lips. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see it. It was pitch dark. No source of light at all. Chanyeol had even made sure that the narrow space between the door and the floor was covered, with the aid of a bunch of pillows leaning against the closed door.

It was really ridiculous, Baekhyun was hot, sweaty even, both from the intense nervousness he was feeling but also that he literally was able to feel the body heat radiating from Jongdae. They were really standing that close. Of course, Baekhyun couldn’t see him, but he knew. He felt it.

 

And this is where he is right now. A minute or two of reminiscing can’t help him in this situation, though. But Baekhyun supposes it is one of those things the brain automatically does in dire situations to try to remember useful information from previous experiences, like the clichéd “life flashing before one’s eyes” when in a near death scenario. This is not as bad as that, but almost. He can feel Jongdae’s eyes on him, even though he cannot see them (and he sure hopes Jongdae can’t see him either).

Once again, Baekhyun wipes off some of the sweat that has dared gathering on his palms, wishing he could do the same with the unfortunate amount of it that’s starting to make itself noticeable under his arms. No deodorant in the world can help him now, that is how it feels. He should get this done before he actually starts to smell and with that embarrass himself further.

Baekhyun slowly and carefully starts to move his fingers in front of him, trying to make sense of which part of Jongdae is where. His fingers reach something which is undoubtedly fabric, but still quite warm and solid, so he figures it must be one of said parts. He almost expects Jongdae to say something dumb like “That’s my shirt, y'know”, but the latter is still quiet. Perhaps he is too nervous, Baekhyun guesses.

Moving his fingers a bit up north, Baekhyun finally touches a bit of skin. It has to be Jongdae’s chin, and Baekhyun drags his fingers slowly across it at first, already lost in the thought of what a nice chin line his best friend has. Then he stops, and keeps his hand right under Jongdae’s chin, as it will be a guide to where Jongdae’s face is situated. Jongdae doesn’t lean into the touch, but he does draw in an audible breath of air when it happens. Of course, he has no idea who’s actually touching him, so it is not that weird. He is probably not entirely sure how to react in a strange situation like this. Baekhyun can understand him.

Though, they don’t have much time at their disposal (Baekhyun bets Chanyeol is very impatient at this moment), and Baekhyun does not want to waste any more of it. Therefore he leans closer, already feeling like his chest could burst in spite of not having done anything yet. As much as he’d want to, Baekhyun tries his hardest not to make any other body part than his hand and lips touch Jongdae, since simple things like outfit material or his flat chest could give him away. Besides, it would be embarrassing if Jongdae got to feel how fast Baekhyun’s heart is beating at the moment. It is like he’s just run a marathon or something. A rapidly beating heart and sweaty pits are not really the most appealing things in the world, but Baekhyun hopes Jongdae will be too focused on his lips to notice.

Right, lips… Baekhyun leans in further to actually let his touch Jongdae. Yep, that’s right. This could already count as a kiss if it wasn’t for the fact that Jongdae probably expected something more (not to mention what expectations Chanyeol had on him). It feels mostly awkward, because despite trying his best to guide his face towards Jongdae’s, Baekhyun completely misses the other’s lips and manages to land his own on a place near Jongdae’s nose instead. Whatever, it is still Jongdae. Lips or cheek or nose or anything, it is all him.

Except it’s severely awkward and Jongdae lets out a breath that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. Baekhyun feels his face burn; good thing Jongdae doesn’t know it’s him, because this is humiliating. He attempts to gather himself and moves his lips downwards, where he reaches something soft that is without a doubt another pair of lips. Jongdae’s lips. Jongdae can’t laugh now, can he?

Baekhyun tries to concentrate on the act of kissing only, not on his unstable heartbeat and definitely not the small sound that Jongdae makes when their lips interlock. Leaning his head a bit to the side, Baekhyun attempts moving his lips against the other pair. Jongdae barely responds at all, which is somewhat discouraging. But when Baekhyun separates their mouths for a second to wet his lips, Jongdae unexpectedly closes the distance again, seemingly more eager than Baekhyun initially thought. It is fine though, perfectly alright, really no problem at all. The only possible problem at this time would be that Baekhyun might overheat any moment, there’s an exhilarating feeling streaming though his entire body and the blood in his veins is hot, too hot. It’s just a simple kiss, he should not be reacting like this. If Jongdae only knew what he does to him, Baekhyun thinks, but then realises it’s probably for the best if Jongdae never gets to know.

Baekhyun can’t help but move the hand that he previously placed under Jongdae’s chin upwards, following his jawline up to his ear, and then even further away, to the back of his head. He carefully runs his fingers through the short, somewhat unruly hair, which Jongdae doesn’t seem to dislike judging by the sigh of satisfaction he releases through his nostrils. Baekhyun, quite unnecessarily, closes his eyes and then moves his lips again, positioning his lower lip between both of Jongdae’s. Jongdae moves with him, although somewhat clumsily, which makes sense if what he said about not having kissed before was true. To his credit though, he then tries to lightly on Baekhyun’s lower lip, and Baekhyun might as well be in a dream or something. The best of dreams. He can’t help but let out a heavy breath of air through his nose, this couldn’t possibly become better…

However, it is at that moment Jongdae seems to freeze. Not in a cold sense; he rather just stops. Thinking something might be wrong, Baekhyun removes his lips from Jongdae’s and the hand from his hair, and then waits for an explanation (if there is one). After a few seconds of a sudden feeling of anxiety replacing the excitement in Baekhyun’s body, Jongdae finally comments.

Or, it is more a question. A simple one.

“B… Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun suddenly wants nothing more than the ability to pulverise his entire self and cease to exist.

How… how does he know? How did he find out? Was it the sigh, or the hand in his hair, or something else? Could any of those small things really have given Baekhyun away?

The immense heat of the room feels almost oppressive now, instead of exhilarating like it had been seconds ago. Baekhyun wants to run away from there, but that would solve nothing. Jongdae already knows. All he can really do is try to explain this as well as he can. Preferably without making Jongdae angry/creeped out/disgusted by him.

Baekhyun wants to blame Chanyeol for the idea, but then again, he actually agreed to it himself. Though, then he didn’t know Jongdae would actually find him out. But it was still a dumb decision to make.

That rules both running away and blaming Chanyeol out of the picture, and since Baekhyun isn’t gonna go as far as faking a girly voice and pretend to be someone else, he only really has one choice. He needs to say something.

“Um, yes, ah, that’s…” he starts, then swallows down the rest of the unintelligible flow of words that was about to leave his mouth. One question is really all he needs at this point.

“How?”

It is quiet for a second or two and Baekhyun more or less wants to die.

“It’s… um, your scent. And your voice, kinda. The way it sounds when you breathe out. I mean, I’m so used to your scent and sounds and everything, I could probably recognise them anywhere…”

Those were things both he and Chanyeol should’ve thought of, really. Baekhyun and Jongdae know each other inside and out, so of course Jongdae would notice small things like that.

“So… did you know? Like, from the start?” Baekhyun then manages to ask, still feeling like he might be sick, an urge he tries to oppress. Throwing up on Jongdae is probably the only thing in the world that could make the situation even worse.

“Wh- no, no way. I only just realised.”

“.” Amazingly articulate.

“Yeah, man”, Jongdae agrees with Baekhyun’s sentiments, “indeed. I, I just…”

It is almost heartbreaking to hear Jongdae shakily struggling for the right words.

“Why? Why’d you do this?”

What is even more heartbreaking is how Jongdae’s voice breaks at the last word. Jongdae does not deserve this, he’s too good for having such a creepy friend, Baekhyun thinks. A creepy, ty, selfish “friend”.

“I, um, it wasn’t entirely, I mean, it was Chanyeol who- though, I agreed, it’s just as much my fault, really, I’m so sorry, I guess I didn’t want anyone else to kiss you, and I know that’s selfish but, I mean, when Chanyeol told me-” Baekhyun rambles, not making any sense at all. He is surprised Jongdae actually attempts to listen, giving him a chance to explain himself, instead of just slapping him (or punching him or kicking him or pinching him real hard or something equally awful that Baekhyun totally deserves) and leaving.

“Hey. You’re not making any sense”, Jongdae needlessly interrupts, on the other hand. Baekhyun stops speaking for a moment.

“You know, you really ed up. I don’t get why you would do this, or why you thought it’d be a good idea, but you ed up.”

Baekhyun knows Jongdae means business because he almost never swears. He tries to swallow down the big lump that’s forming in his throat.

“I’m sorry, I know I-” he starts, only for Jongdae to cut him off again.

“Wait, I wasn’t done. Um, you, you really shocked me. And I’m still confused. But, it’s okay. I mean, w-what I’m trying to say is, uh, I don’t mind. I didn’t mind. I don’t know why, but, er, it was nice.”

Jongdae clears his throat, and Baekhyun feels the lump in his own throat dissolve and slide down all the way to his stomach, leaving a hot trail. Did he really just hear what he thought he heard?

He desperately awaits for Jongdae to follow up his statement, but he doesn’t. Baekhyun knows it is his turn to say something, but he does not know what say either. There’s a new feeling of excitement waking up inside of him, starting off by fluttering slightly, as if asking him “hey, did you miss me?”.

“Can we turn on the light?” is what he finally says. It is quiet for a second or two before Jongdae verbalises “I mean, yes”, and Baekhyun suspects he might have nodded in reply at first before correcting himself.

With Jongdae’s approval Baekhyun feels with his hands along the wall to his left, the lamp switch should be there somewhere, right next to the door…

After Baekhyun has found the switch and clicked for turning the light on, they are met with the slight illumination of a tiny bulb hanging from a cord connected to the ceiling. It is not too bright, but it’ll do. Most people probably don’t even have an illumination system at all in their closets. Besides, having grown accustomed to the darkness, both Baekhyun and Jongdae blink a few times from the sudden source of light.

At first, Baekhyun regrets his suggestion to turn the light on. Letting Jongdae look at him in his current state just feels even more humiliating. However, a few seconds later Baekhyun directs his gaze towards Jongdae, and it seems like Jongdae shares these sentiments, which makes it feel less like a burden. Jongdae’s face is flushed and his lips are somewhat red as well, and his eyes seem to look everywhere except in Baekhyun’s direction.

“Jongdae”, Baekhyun finally utters, trying to catch the mentioned’s attention.

“Hmm?” Jongdae acknowledges, and Baekhyun continues.

“I… I know it’s maybe, um, a bit sudden, but there’s no use denying it at this point, and, eh… I like you. I’ve liked you for a really long time.”

Baekhyun’s legs are literally shaking as he awaits Jongdae’s reply.

“Yeah, well… I noticed”, Jongdae says with an attempt to laugh. “I mean, why else would you be kissing me?”

“Chanyeol made me”, Baekhyun explains, “he knows about my feelings and I guess he wanted to do something about them…”

“Okay.”

It is once again quiet for a few seconds, then Baekhyun and Jongdae break the silence at the same time.

“What about-”

“How long-”

They both cut themselves off, releasing a few awkward giggles.

“I-”

“Ehm, you can-”

“No, you go first”, Baekhyun says. Jongdae smiles slightly and looks down at the ground. Even in this humiliating situation he looks severely charming.

“Well, um, for how long have you liked me?”

Baekhyun is a bit surprised by the question, and he does not really know how to interpret Jongdae’s expression as he persistently keeps his gaze glued to the floor.

“Uh, I think… since our last year of middle school. Or, at least, that’s when I realised I had feelings for you”, Baekhyun admits a bit reluctantly.

“For so long?”

“Yeah”, Baekhyun replies and looks at Jongdae again, only to be met with the latter’s curious gaze. At that, Jongdae flushes a bright red and looks down at the floor again.

“That’s… that’s pretty remarkable. I had no idea until now”, he mumbles, “If I were you I would have slipped up a long time ago. I don’t think I would be able to keep my feelings locked up for so long.”

Baekhyun’s face feels even hotter than the temperature of the room, but he is also somewhat confused. He really has no idea what Jongdae’s intention with saying something like that is.

“Aren’t you… I mean, you’re okay with the fact that I, um, fancy other boys?” Baekhyun asks, articulate as ever; that was such an awkward way of framing it.

“Well, sure, of course. H-have you ever heard me speak badly of homouals before?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so, but I just wanted to know…”

“I’m okay with it. Just so you know.”

Jongdae looks bothered by the question and still refuses to look Baekhyun in the eyes. It is somewhat silly, and Baekhyun does not know why he does it. Though, it is relieving that Jongdae doesn’t seem to have anything against him for not being straight… but wait. What is really the reason for Jongdae’s apparent embarrassment?

Baekhyun surprises both Jongdae and himself by suddenly grabbing Jongdae’s left hand.

“What-”

“Hey. You, eh, said it was… nice, didn’t you?”

Jongdae is quiet for a second, and Baekhyun doesn’t bother clarifying his statement because he knows Jongdae understood what he was referring to.

“It… it was.”

“And?” Baekhyun presses on, staring at Jongdae while the other desperately directs his gaze away from him.

“I… I, I think, I don’t mind your, uh, feelings for me… I think I’m more than okay with them…” Jongdae looks up and into Baekhyun’s eyes for a second as he squeezes the latter’s hand, and that is all Baekhyun needs to understand. He feels a sudden sensation that can only be described as fireworks going off in his body, and he can’t keep himself from smiling at his friend.

“You… you think we could try?”

“Try what?” Jongdae answers, still looking as nervous as before.

“Something like a, um, relationship… maybe?” Baekhyun knows he is being severely awkward but it doesn’t matter anymore. He already feels like celebrating.

“Y- yes…” Jongdae says, and what really does it is the slight smile that makes itself noticeable on his catlike lips, and Baekhyun cannot hold himself back anymore. He leans forward to throw his arms around Jongdae in joy, which wasn’t much of a challenge since they were already standing so close, with the other almost jumping in surprise. However, Jongdae soon reaches with his arms around Baekhyun’s back as well and relaxes into the hug, but Baekhyun can still feel the quick beating of his heart from his chest. This is almost too good to be true.

“Baekhyun-ah?” Jongdae then mumbles softly, seemingly careful not to ruin the moment.

“Hm?”

“Can we, uh, try it again? I mean, kissing?”

Baekhyun feels like exploding any minute, that’s how euphoric his state of mind is at the moment. He lets go of Jongdae and spots the somewhat mischievous smile on the other’s lips, a rosy colour grazing his beautiful cheekbones; seriously, with how handsome Jongdae is looking right now, how could anyone ever say no?

Without waiting for Baekhyun to answer, Jongdae eagerly cups the former’s face in his hands and leans in. Almost too eagerly, Baekhyun has to take a step backwards because of the force Jongdae put into it. That is less important though, what really matters is that they are kissing again, lip to lip, interlocked. Baekhyun closes his eyes and is immediately lost in the sensation of Jongdae’s lips against his, still a bit clumsy as he tries to move smoothly but at the same time so perfect.

Jongdae then moves his hands from where they were previously cupping Baekhyun’s face back to the latter’s neck, digging his fingers through the roots of his hair. Taking it a step further, Baekhyun encircles Jongdae’s waist with his own arms, pulling him even closer, hip to hip. Jongdae lets out a small groan at that and it’s almost too much already, but instead of taking a step back again it makes Baekhyun want even more, or rather, need even more. He therefore opens his mouth slightly, and traps Jongdae’s upper lip between his, gathering courage to it once. The action makes Jongdae release a hot puff of breath against Baekhyun’s lower lip, which lets Baekhyun take advantage of the other’s now also open mouth and move carefully, resulting in his tongue meeting with Jongdae’s. For some reason (but Baekhyun doesn’t complain), Jongdae rocks his hips gently against Baekhyun’s, and it is not even much but Baekhyun almost feels his head dispose of anything that isn’t related to Jongdae in this exact moment; he really might go crazy any minute if he doesn’t control himself.

Before it turns interesting, though, they both hear a knock at the door, causing them to separate slightly. Apparently, Chanyeol is back. Baekhyun had totally forgotten about him.

“Hey, um, sorry it took such a long time, but we got distracted with other dares out here… Uh, anyway, Jongdae, you have thirty seconds to stop and turn around until I open the door and let your kissing buddy go”, he explains through the door and Baekhyun feels annoyed, he could have waited just a little bit more, his and Jongdae’s tongues barely touched after all.

“What do we do?” Jongdae whispers to him when Chanyeol is finished.

“Well… we could just get out of the closet”, Baekhyun says before he can stop himself and Jongdae smiles exasperatedly at his bad joke.

“Appropriate”, he says, “but I guess? I don’t know if I’m comfortable with people getting to know yet, I mean… I’m still not sure myself…”

“Chanyeol mentioned something to the guys out there that this was gonna be some sort of prank”, Baekhyun remembers, “like, you think we’re gonna kiss but I reveal myself just before we do.”

Jongdae shrugs.

“That could work. I don’t know. But whatever we decide to do-”

“Hey, are you ready?!” Chanyeol shouts from the other side.

“Yeah, just two seconds!” Jongdae shouts back, then lowers his voice to a whisper, “I… I think you l-look beautiful. I mean, I still think you’re dumb, but, yeah... beautiful.”

Baekhyun takes in Jongdae’s flustered expression with a smile, reaching forward to take his hands in his own.

“Thanks… you… you too.”

In that moment, Chanyeol opens the door.

 

a/n: this fic was originally supposed to be the closet parts only, but then i realised i had to include a bit more background info and hence it became longer than i'd planned. a lot longer. hope you liked it nonetheless! ;;