Sam wonders,does she really need help?

I opened my eyes. Another new day  to begin with. 

“oh you’re awake? Go get a shower and we’ll eat together alright?”

The young lady in her 20’s smile.  This is not what I wake up for.

“what are you doing here?”

My temper grows impatient.  My forhead crease as I ask in an angry tone.  How does she get in? How dare she sets the table? How dare she welcome herself in?

“well… I’m sorry,you did not lock the door.”

“Yknow what? Get your out of my house”

“look Sam,for once I plead you ,let me enter your life and act as your sister. Let me take the respondsibility.  I wanna be responsible for the pain you had to go through.”

Anger builds up in my body. She’s talking bulls.

“W..what? you want to what? Tch take respondsibility? Do you even know what respondsibility is in the first place. ?”

“Sam. Please,”

“NO LISTEN,YKNOW WHAT ,WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I HAD TO WITNESS MY MUM’S BODY  BEING  CHOPPED?  OH GOD AS MUCH AS I DON’T WANNA MENTION THAT I JUST HAD TO.  YOU WERE NEVER THERE WHEN S HAPPENED. PERHAPS ONLY WHEN I NEED TO STICH MY PAIN.”

I guess she messed up wrong day. I can’t help but flared up. To think about  the past is hurt enough, bringing it up just to ing remind her creates more deep scars. She surrenders.  She sighed in defeat.

I close the door harshly .

I decide that perhaps,the best is to get some fresh air. It’s 6 in the morning.  I cover my my head with my black hood. Morning air is really fresh and gives you just enough chills. I just need to empty my brain. For a moment. I stop by a nearby park and sit on the swing, swinging on my own. I close my eyes to spend  a second in my own fantasy. To see how would it be if it’s my mum who swings this for me. Sure,it must’ve felt nice , but I have never feel how nice it actually  is. Nevertheless, this time, this moment, I ,myself are not sure if I am still in my own fantasy,because it feels just nice. Like a dream comes true. I want time to stand still.

It goes back and forth in a very , lovely way.  It ensures me that I’ll be save, even with my eyes closed,slowly, but surely I’ll get there. I pray to God to stay in my fantasy a little bit more longer.