Youngji

"FORMER ROOMMATE SEASON TWO MEMBERS JACKSON AND YOUNGJI TO PHOTOSHOOT FOR E'MARCY IN NEW YORK"

I looked at the headline much longer than necessary. After 3 years 'jackji' was making headlines again. We were currently ranked no.1 in search engines.

I put my phone down and let out a long sigh as I laid back on my bed and stared at the yellow ceiling of my room. It's really pretty , this shade of light yellow. It's almost the same shade as cheese and guess who loves cheese. Bravo brain, so much for not thinking about him.

Why had I agreed to do this photoshoot? Well the offer had come from a top fashion brand in America so refusing it wasn't really an option but I had to do it with Jackson. Why him of all the people ? The very thought of being together with him again set my heart in a frenzied mode and all along I'd thought I was over him.

Yes, I am still in love with that stupid , idiotic, childish, naive player. I am in love with Jackson.

It's been 3 years since roommate season 2 ended. I felt sad to let go of my newly found family but a tiny part of me was relieved , because I wanted to protect my heart , even though I failed to do so in the end.

It's not like we are strangers now. We still kept in touch. He called me once in a while , and by once in a while I mean how much our busy schedule allowed us to, which is like a single call once a month. 

Sighing, I stood up from my bed and headed towards the bathroom for a shower. I had a radio interview an hour later.

"Hello and welcome to 'Sunny's FM date', I am Sunny , your host and today we have a special guest. Here is our very own , cute maknae from Kara ,Heo Youngji."

Sunny unnie smiled warmly at me.It's been a while since we last met and we had promised to have dinner together after the show .

" Hello everyone. I am Heo Youngji from Kara."

The talk show continued in a smooth manner. We relieved some of our past memories too. I was also asked various questions regarding our comeback and my schedules. A lot of emails had been sent giving me warm and cheerful messages and some asking me various questions . A single message stood out from the rest.

"Youngji unnie . I am a die hard jackji shipper and I heard that you and Jackson oppa are going to be working together again. I waited 3 years for a moment like this. This is definitely fate. It is natural for me to feel this way because you guys are my otp but unnie tell me , are you guys honestly just friends?  Don't you like him like a man?" Sunny unnie chuckled lightly and sent me a wink after reading the message out loud while I sat there quite for a while. When I met her questioning and confused gaze I smiled and replied naturally like everytime .

"No, we are just friends."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I was at the VIP section of the waiting room at the airport. Hara unnie had come to drop me off. We were with our manager oppa and we were waiting for Jackson to arrive. When our manager oppa went for some coffee Hara unnie gave me a side hug and smiled at me ," Youngji -ya~~ I will miss you. If I wasn't doing that variety show right now then I would have gone to America as your manager."

"I will miss you too unnie." I smiled back at her.

"I know. I am such a lovable person after all." She said in a serious tone then smiled cheekily at me. But then the smile on her face vanished slowly and she whispered with saddened eyes ," I really want to be there for you. I don't know how this meeting with Jackson is going to turn out. What if he says something to hurt you? Having a crush is really difficult, right?" Her hands mused my hair as she said this and I replied with a smile plastered on my lips.

" Unnie , it's okay. It is going to be just like before. We are probably going to fight 24/7 and have fun ...just like before." In all honesty , nothing was going to be like before. My feelings for him wouldn't allow for this to be like before. He will be himself, but I , I will probably act different.

"Aigoo , my baby." She said holding me close again ," If anything bothers you call me right away okay. I will pick it up no matter what the time or situation is." Hara unnie was in so many ways like my own sister. She loved me genuinely and when I first joined Kara she was the one who supported me the most. Gyuri unnie and Sungyeon unnie were also with me at each step I took towards success but Hara unnie was my ideal idol, she'd always been. With her it felt safe and sound.

"Is Youngji alright?"

I froze. Literally. I couldn't move a single centimeter.

'Don't worry. I will move in place of all your other frozen parts,' my heart sing-sang and started beating at a furious pace.

It was that voice. It'd been more than a month since I last heard that voice but it still had the same effect. He was standing behind me and each and every cell in my body tingled , knowing that he was so close. Hara unnie noticed my stiffness and told Jackson off ," Don't disturb us . We are having a moment."

I knew him so well that I predicted the exact thing that he did next.

"Let me join in." He said loudly and hugged us both. To have him this close again was definitely a bad idea but it felt like being back . I discreetly breathed in his scent and felt his warm embrace tighten and right then and there I was home, but like always it felt like a rented one. Where I could stay for a while but would have to move out sooner or later.

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"You look like you've gained some weight. What if they kick you out of the photoshoot? "

We were travelling first class so Jackson and I had abit more security and privacy. The other travelers minded their own business so Jackson was getting bored and he was filling the silence with mindless chatter.

"If they kick me out , you can find some new girl on the spot for the photoshoot." I replied while reading the menu card in my hand.

"Yah, Heo Youngji !!" Trying hard to fight the blush that was threatening to cover my entire face , I looked at him. It is really silly how I react to the simple way he says my name. "Are you ignoring me? You haven't even spoken a single sentence properly. Is something wrong? Didn't you miss me? We finally get to meet like this after a long time and you act as if I am not even here?"

Yes, I am trying to ignore you but failing miserably at it.

My heart has stopped listening to me and apparently my brain has stopped working too. So yes , everything is wrong with me.

I missed you. A lot. Like really really lot and I am trying hard to remember how I used to be around you normally because I don't want to appear flustered or nervous because of you .

I answered his questions in my head but out loud replied simply as , " Nah , didn't think much about you. Who are you anyway?"

I had meant it as a light joke but he seemed somehow offended and replied grumpily ,"But I missed you."

My heart decided (on it's own might I add) to attempt flying. It kept on trying to break free and reach the clouds above. I bit my cheeks to not let the wide grin appear on my face . It didn't last long because a second later one of the air-hostess brought our drinks and he started flirting with her.

Gosh he was still the same. He went around flirting with all the girl he came in contact with. This was the main reason why I could never bring myself to confess my feelings for him. He seemed to care about me a lot but then he seemed to do so for every girl out there. Just look at him now, trying to look y with that stupid smile on his face. Oh and the air-hostess seemed to be blushing quite a lot too. Just great. When she left Jackson was smiling at himself and he turned to find me glaring at him.

"What?" He asked looking confused.

"You are still the same." I said trying to remove the bitter note from my voice.

"Of course. I can't change you know. " he replied. I just shook my head slightly and turned ahead after placing my headphones on my head.

" Wait. Do you mean I am still the same in a good way or a bad way? I think I have grown more handsome though."

I just sat there pretending to listen to some song and closed my eyes after faking a yawn. God! What was wrong with me? I couldn't even be myself in front of him anymore. I was too scared that my feelings for him would be too transparent if I let my guard down even a little. I heard his next words clearly and it did hurt but I just pretended to have drifted off to sleep.

"What happened to you Youngji?"

"Well you happened ,you phabo." I mumbled to myself.

(*Phabo=stupid*)

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I was running a comb through my wet hair when I heard a knock on my door. It was late and I was preparing for bed but thinking that it was manager oppa with tomorrow's schedule , I went to open the door but I found a frowning Jackson instead.

"What is it Jackson? It's really late and I need my beauty sleep."

"You are beautiful as it is. You don't need any extra sleep." Came his brilliant reply as he entered my room. If only I didn't know that he had used this line on plenty of other girls then I would have done a happy dance right then and there.

" What are you doing?" I whisper-shouted at him. "This will turn into a huge scandal if someone sees us."

" Relax." He said, plopping himself down on the white sofa," I just wanted to discuss about the theme for the photoshoot. You are informed about it right?"

"Yes" ,I replied checking the hallway for any paparazzi or fans, before closing the door.

"Why am I a mouse?" He asked incredulously ," What kind of sicko wants a handsome guy like me to take the role of a mouse? What kind of photoshoot has a mouse in it?"

I sat cross-legged across from him on the bed and asked," Didn't you know about the theme before agreeing to it?"

"Well I heard it revolved around fairy-tale so I thought that I would be prince charming but how did I end up being a mouse?"

I smiled at that , and by smile I mean my alligator laugh. He was still ranting but after he saw me smile he stopped and smiled back at me.

"You know something? I really missed that silent laugh of yours."

My silent laugh seemed to get stuck on my throat so I cleared it silently and like what he had said just now hadn't turned my heart into a gooey-mushy mess.

" You are a mouse because you like cheese. Anyway I really like this theme."

Well it was far better than him being a prince and me a princess. That would have been too difficult for me to handle.

"Sure you like it. You get to be a fairy godmother after all. I am the one who has to be a mouse." He grumbled.

Honestly speaking , I really liked this theme. It was really unique. It was derived from Cinderella but the characters in focus were the fairy godmother and the mouse that she changed into footman with her magic.

" You should dry your hair or you will catch a cold. " His words brought me out of my train of thoughts. It was little things like this that he said and did that made me fall for him in the first place. He cared a lot for people around him and I felt lucky to be one of those people but being in love with a person like him is a tedious thing . You can never know whether he is interested or just being the usual him.

"I will dry it once you leave." I informed him ,"If you are done then you should leave . I need some sleep too."

He stood up to leave when our phone buzzed at the same time.

" Do not leave your rooms at any cost. Some kamilias and igot7 have snuck in the hotel. Stay inside your rooms till we inform you that it's safe. Do not let anyone unidentified enter your room too."

It was a message sent by my manager oppa and apparently it was a group message. I looked at Jackson to find him staring at me with a dumbfounded expression. The next message followed soon after.

"Jackson where are you? Why is your room empty ? I knew this boy was gonna cause some trouble. Don't you ever learn. Youngji do you know where Jackson is?"

It was from Jackson's manager. I looked away from my screen to find Jackson typing furiously at his phone. My phone buzzed again .

" I am at Youngji's room. We were discussing about tomorrow's theme. We promise to stay quietly in here."

" This is all your fault ." I shouted at him.

"Shh . Keep it down , will you?" He said placing his index finger on his lips. I would have given him an angrier glare if I hadn't been distracted by the finger on his lips.

" You and I are gonna have a serious talk after this crisis is over. We can't head over to Youngji's room right now because we have a feeling that we are being followed. So for now please just don't cause anymore trouble." A message from Jackson 's manager arrived .

At that moment I knew I was in for some trouble. It was getting difficult for me to decide what was more dangerous, the fact that we might get caught by our fans/paparazzi or the fact that I was stuck in a room with Jackson.

We sat rooted in our positions for a while but then I moved towards the dressing table to dry my hair mumbling curse words at him.

"I can hear you." He exclaimed claiming the sofa again.

"Oh ! I had no idea about that." I replied in a sarcastic tone.

I looked at the mirror to find Jackson coming close towards me, his face laced with concern. Why was he doing this? He should stay away from me or I might end up doing something really stupid. Because I wanted to keep my pride safe I just shouted at him .

" This is your fault , you stupid idiot."

"Ok , I am sorry."

I turned my head so fast that the action should have broken my neck but rest assured I was fine , physically that is. It's not that he hasn't ever said sorry to me but he is the type of person to fight tooth and nail with me to prove himself right.

I turned my entire body to face him properly and pretended to scratch my ear, "Um.. could you repeat what you just said? I think there was something in my ear."

He rolled his eyes with a big sigh, but it wasn't in a sarcastic way .

It was worse.

It was as if he was tired of me. He knelt down in front of me, his face only a few inches apart. I entertained myself with the idea that he was about to kiss me but that was only a wishful hope. Because in no way in hell was he going to kiss me while looking at me like that , like I was a pitiful pet of some sort.

"Heo Youngji." I looked up to meet his eyes. I hadn't even noticed that I had been staring at his lips.

"Hmm." Was all that I could muster.

" Is something wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?" I opened my mouth to answer that everything was fine but he beat me and said, " Don't you dare say you are alright because I know you are troubled about something. Just tell me. Don't you trust me? Youngji , I know I am an immature brat but I do care about you. We have known each other for 4 years now. I think I deserve to know if something is wrong. Aren't we best friends? "

I might have kept my mouth shut and things could've stayed the way it was if he hadn't said that last line. 'Best friends ' ? I had started getting allergic to that word . I also blame the fact that his face was just 5 inches away from mine and that I could feel his breath fan my neck for my sudden outburst.

"No Jackson. Nothing is fine. I am a mess right now." I whispered , trying to hold back my tears. I had kept it in for too long. I was finally getting a closure and a part of me wished for that happily ever after but a bigger part of me knew that that was possible only in fairy-tales. And our story was no fairy-tale . I was never a princess and he was not the prince either and I really doubt the fairy godmother and the mouse ended up together.

His eyes that held me captive urged me to go on. I took a deep breath and finding all the courage in me , I looked him in the eyes and said.

"It's you. It's the 'bestfriend' tag that our relationship has. It's the fact that I like you so much to the point I think I am going mad. I want to stay as the friend you want but I keep on wanting for more. I..... I love you. Can't we be more then just friends? Hmm ?" 

His eyes widened in surprise. I hadn't noticed that my own eyes were welling up with tears until I heard the crack in my voice. I looked up at the ceiling trying to force the tears back feeling like my heart might burst at any moment now. I felt something else that I hadn't expected to feel though. I felt relieved. I was glad to finally get it off my chest.

His silence just confirmed the fact that he found this situation troublesome . I looked at him again to find that his face had turned into a frozen mask , the expression being unreadable. I wanted to go run and hide under the bed or the bathroom or, just anywhere. This was getting painful by the minute. He could just say that he wasn't interested in me and that he saw me as his best-friend and nothing more but no , he just stood up all of a sudden and said ," Let's talk tomorrow."

And then he left the room.

I tried really hard not to let the tears fall because I knew once they fell there would be no end to it. I had a photoshoot tomorrow and I shouldn't, in any condition let my personal life affect my professional one. It was just a heartbreak. I would get over it eventually.

No , scratch that. This was worse then a heartbreak. Not only was my heart broken but I had lost a friend too. A friend I cherished a lot. It was going to be hella awkward between us from now on. And the way I was feeling right now , I hardly think I would get over this.

Jackson was being cruel in his own way. If he liked me even a little bit then he wouldn't need an entire day to decide his answer, we had known each other for 4 years after all. It's not like he would suddenly start liking me just because I confessed. He should've just rejected me then and there. Leaving me hanging only to be crushed later was a cruel decision. Maybe he was trying to wait until the photoshoot was over . I had already ruined our friendship and I didn't want to ruin the photoshoot too. If I waited any longer I knew I would end up crying the entire night. So praying for the almighty time to pass faster , I popped in some sleeping tablets and went off to the loving arms of a dreamless, painfree sleep.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next morning I woke up determined to act normal till the photoshoot was over. I would not allow my tears to fall , no matter what. I was ready by the time my manager came to pick me up with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. I took it gladly because it helped calm my nerves.

" Hara called me earlier today and asked me to order this hot chocolate for you. It seems like your phone is switched off."

"Yes ,about that. I forgot to bring my charger with me so it is switched off." We were walking towards the lobby and I could hear some screaming. I looked outside, through the tall glass walls to see lots of people standing and screaming my name. They were being controlled by security . When they noticed me , the screaming got a lot louder.

"HEO YOUNGJI!"

"KARA HWAITING!"

"UNNIE HWAITING!!"

"SARANGEYO YOUNGJI!!!"

I smiled widely at them and waved at them. We didn't have enough time so I couldn't actually have any sort of conversation with any of them but it still felt great. My fans were like my personal energy drink and their support filled me with warmth. Considering the fact I was in a crappy situation right now, their love and support gave me the courage to face my fears. I was nothing without them and this photo-shoot was for them.

"I love you all" I shouted once before I was shoved inside a black car. The reaction from them was amazing. For now I am Heo Youngji from Kara. The Youngji who is desperately in love with Jackson has to step aside . We had plenty of time later for her problem.

"Where is Jackson? Weren't we supposed to head towards the studio together?" I asked my manager after we were seated comfortably, not that I wanted him around me right now.

"There was some problem with his clothes so he had to leave early. It's good you guys didn't get into any scandal." He said while browsing news on his tablet.

"Yeah." I replied nonchalantly.

As soon as we reached the studio I was rushed into the female's dressing room and various people started working on my makeup and hair. I was really pleased with the final look. My eyes were a pretty shade of grey that was darker towards the edges. My cheeks were painted coral pink and my lips a darker shade of pink. It was done in a way that it made me feel powerful . It was extravagant but in a beautiful way. My hair was permed to give a bushy kind of look. I think right now I was walking on a thin line between a fairy godmother and a witch.

The first dress I had to try on was a light purple t-shirt kind of dress with a flowy ballerina styled but layered skirt. I then had to put on black leather boots. Looking at my reflection I think I made a pretty bad- fairy godmother. Small white butterfly wings were attached on my back and I was handed over a wand with a star on it. A small tiara was fixed somewhere in the permed bush that was my hair.

As soon as I was ready I was ushered into a beautiful garden. This was going to be an outdoor shoot and the lilacs were blooming everywhere. Jackson was already here and he looked really cute in that funky animal play-suit. He was wearing fake teeth that were extremely long and by the look on his face he wasn't exactly pleased to be doing this. In any other time I would have laughed at him but I couldn't even bring a smile on my face right now.

Things are ofcourse easier said then done. It was one thing to say that I was going to hold back my tears and a completely different thing to actually do it. My throat felt tight , as if something was choking me. Did someone attach a metal anchor at my heart? Why was it so heavy?

He turned around and our gaze met and then he smiled in a polite way. I swiftly looked down at the ground and admired the green grass. I could feel him come closer towards me but then the cameraman shouted.

"Everybody , get ready . At your positions now!"

With my heart beating furiously, I set off to work.

T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T

"No ."

"Nononono"

"It's no good."

This cameraman was a really hard case. No matter what we did he always said that it wasn't good enough. We tried various poses but no , he just shouted NG at us again and again.

" Why are you guys so awkward. Are you guys meeting up for the first time? There isn't any sort of chemistry between you. You are supposed to be the fairy godmother , the powerful one. How come you can't even look him in the eyes...." He continued his lecture for 10 straight minutes before telling us to take a break and get our act together.

I went to a secluded part of the garden and sat down on a white bench. This was honestly my fault. Jackson was doing his best but I just couldn't. ...ugh I hated myself right now. What happened to all that pumped up talk I had with myself this morning? And I was reaching the breaking point soon. There were a few shots that we had to get really close to each other with and it had taken all of my willpower to not cry then and there. The more time passed , the harder this got.

"Here , take it." A cool canned juice was placed next to my ear and I didn't have to look up to know that it was him. He again knelt down in front of me and placed the juice on my hand , his hand lingering and not leaving mine.

A tear dropped, and another followed soon after and then the next.

"Why do you always have to do things like this? If you don't like me can't you just act like the bad guy and leave me?" I sobbed , "Why? Why do you affect me in such a way? Why did I have to like a person like you? Do you know how difficult it is to love you?"

"Is it really difficult?" He asked slightly tilting his head .

I nodded my head and continued, " You treat all girls like you are interested in them . Do you think it's easy to just sit back, cross my fingers and wish that the girls are nothing more than friends?" My voice was cracking ,my tears wouldn't stop and my heart kept on hurting.

He took the can juice from my hands and then placed it beside me. Then his warm hands replaced the coldness left by the juice. We were actually holding hands. Wait, how did this happen? Am I dreaming? How come my heart is beating this fast and I am still alive.

"Listen to me Heo Youngji. " He didn't need to emphasize that. The moment his hand held mine , he was the only one I saw and heard.

"I like you too. I really do." I am gonna admit the fact that I am a sadist because at that moment I was waiting for the 'but'.

"You didn't receive my message this morning did you?" He asked wiping my tears with his thumb. He then cupped my face and inched closer. My breath hitched and it took all of the sane part of me to shake my head and signal that I hadn't received his message.

" Heo Youngji. I like you. Will you please be my girlfriend?"

Was I still asleep? This was a dream right? Was I hallucinating? Was this the side effect of the sleeping pills? All these thoughts were forgotten once he inched his face even closer. We were only around 2 inches apart and my eyes involuntarily looked down to stare at his lips.

" Since you confessed your feelings yesterday I am going to consider your silence as a yes."

And then he kissed me. My eyes widened for a fraction of a second but then I closed them and kissed him back. He didn't rush it but the feelings of his lips on mine set fire to my entire body. At that moment nothing else mattered but the fact that his lips were gentle and made me feel wanted. After a few seconds he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on mine. His breaths came up short like mine and I was glad that I wasn't the only one who was affected by this. He then removed one of his hand from my face and then held my hand. He then placed it in his chest.

" I have wanted to kiss you for quite a long time now."

I believed this and neither did it feel like he was using one of his flirty lines because the erratic beating of his heart was proof enough.

He then planted another kiss on my forehead and I closed my eyes as a reflex action.

"Bravo.!!! Excellent.!!! Great shot!!!." The cameraman exclaimed from somewhere but I was too busy being happy to pay any attention to that. Jackson's grip on my hands tightened and I held them tightly in return.

I was at peace. I was happy. I was definitely home and this time I was going to have a permanent residence.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jackson

Youngji. What you did yesterday was a very dangerous move. How can you confess your feelings like that when we were in a closed room? Huh? Do you want to drive me crazy? What if I had attacked you or something? It's entirely your fault that I nearly had a heart attack. Soo....the contract that states that I can't date expires today , so I guess it's alright for me to tell you this now. I like you. I was surprised because I actually wanted to confess to you today as the contract ends but...well you confessed first. I was going to be a prince charming and you were going to be a princess and I was going to confess my feelings for you. But that stupid...whoever came up with this concept ruined it beforehand. Well even if I am a mouse you will still like me right? Apparently fairy godmother is the only one who can change this immature mouse into a normal  footman. So hey fairy godmother. Do you want to date me?

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A/n 

I am a jackji shipper and it literally broke my heart when roommate ended . We rare get any new jackji feeds nowadays but I believe and hope they will end up together someday. *sigh*#Fangirlproblems.

Hope you guys enjoyed it.