Chest tight, breathing shallow breaths and feeling a tingling sensation in my hands. Well, check check and check. Putting it down on a piece of paper really helps people? Why does reading these symptoms make me want start a panic attack?

Earn puts down the leaflet and sighs. His parents forced him to come and see a shrink, he was against it first but looking at himself in the mirror pushed him to actually come this time. He couldn't believe it was him, what replaced him was a skinny, timid and hollow version of Earn. He didn't realise it got this bad.

"Mr Earn?" the receptionist called behind her oversized desk. Earn looked up startled and made him way to the desk. "you can go in now, your therapist is ready for you". Earn nodded and silently made his way through the door.

A slim, tall and friendly guy greeted him in the room. He looked too young to be doing this job and this instantly makes Earn regret coming.

"Earn? Hi, my name is rick. Please, make yourself comfortable. Really? Rick? "so, thank you for coming down today, this is our first session and we will just talk about why you are here. So tell me abit about your current difficulties."

Earn's heart sank, he wants to bolt. He knew he would be talking about stuff but now, having to actually talk, is causing him to want to run. Silence falls upon both of them for a long time. Rick doesn't speak and just stares at Earn. Earn pointedly avoids eye contact but his mind goes blank. It takes all his brain power to stay siting. Oh s**t.

Earn sits silently in his bedroom, staring at the ceiling and wonders what happened today. Why does it feel like its been a decade since this morning? Why is all of this happening to him?

His phone lights up and Earn grabs it, its Noh "Hey, we're outside, I'm coming in ok?" Before Earn could reply, his door swung wide open.

"hey! You still in bed, get up!" Noh shouted.

"Noh..." Phun quietens Noh as he walks in behind him, holding his car keys. " hey Earn, how are you doing?"

Earn got up from his bed and smiled at Phun, "yeah I'm good thanks. How come you guys are here?"

"I heard you went to a psychologist, I wanted to see if your A*se is still all together, they can get rip you apart sometimes." Noh replied.

"oh right" Earn flushed with red and looked away from Noh and Phun, "yeah, i guess I couldn't hide it after all. " Earn pointed at himself. "I didn't realise its been so obvious till i looked in the mirror. You could have at least told me you knew."

"We didn't want to scare you. Anyway, did the therapist solve your problems?" Noh smirked. Noh seem to be able to stay serious and a punk at the same time. Things haven't changed much, Noh still makes Earn very comfortable and secure. Maybe this is why they have stayed friends for such a long time. Although Earn don't feel the same way about Noh any more, the things that attracted him to Noh in the first place are still there and appreciated. Earn has watched Noh and Phun's journey through the good and the bad. He's been there for Noh when he needed him and surprisingly, he's been there for Phun as well. He never thought the day would come when he would sympathise with Phun, but damn Noh's parents are ..... Well.

" No he didn't, but he said it was just our first session" Earn repeated what rick said to him. " I don't know, its just all so frustrating."

Noh stared at Earn " are you getting back those memories? Do you remember anything?"

"nope, nothing. I don't think i remember anything from 7 years ago. Its weird, i feel like something is missing" Earn replied whilst playing with his fingers. Trying anything to avoid looking at noh or Phun.

Noh turned to Phun, they exchanged a look of worry and noh turned back to Earn. He thought for a second and decided on something. " Pete is back from England".

Earn looked up and looked at noh, "really? Great, when is he back? How did you know?"

Noh analysed Earn's face and after a while decided he couldn't find what he was looking for. Why are you both looking at me like that? Did something happen to Pete?" earn wondered out loud.

"no, Pete is fine. He is back today i think. He told fee and fee told Phun basically. You should talk to Pete. You guys were really good friends when it all happened, maybe he can help you piece the puzzles together." Noh said nonchalantly, seemingly very neutral about what he suggested.

" yeah that's true, does he still have the same number? I'll text him now." Earn agreed, feeling at his most motivated for the whole month. He can still feel noh and Phun's eyes on him but he dismissed it as them worrying about him.

"Hey Pete, welcome back to earth! You free to catch up soon?" Earn texted. It seems like its been decades since he texted his best friend. Since Pete went to England, they hardly contacted each other. But this is when his memory becomes fuzzy, he remembers saying goodbye to Pete but he can't remember whether it was face to face or via the phone.

Earn puts his phone down and smiles at noh and Phun. " he'll prob reply soon. What are you guys doing tonight? Any plans?"

" yeah, we're going to pick out a photographer for the wedding." Noh nods to Phun.

"oh yeah, i forgot about that, I'm guessing all of Friday college will be there. Ha ha, this should be fun." Earn laughed.

"it shouldn't be too many people, you never know with weddings" Phun frowned as he stood up. "we better get going, see you soon earn, we'll see you next week yeah?"

Earn said good bye to both of them and waved them off as they drove away in their car. Once he was alone, all he could think of was Pete.