So tired…

Luhan is lying on his bed staring at the ceiling hoping that all the work piling up on his desk will be done by the time he gets up. But why should life go as he wishes? By the time he turns his head to look over at his desk the paper stacks are still on the table and the work is about as done as one hour before. And the hour before that… Well okay let’s face the fact, he hasn’t moved a finger the whole day and he was sure to get a scolding from his manager for not meeting the deadline.

But I have other things on my mind…

I don’t want to think about work! I want to think about…

Stop!

No!

Don’t!

Don’t think about him…

Or else…

 Luhan sniffles. Gradually the ceiling gets blurry.

See what you have done!

With a determined swipe he brushes his tears away.

I miss him. Well, sure, I miss all of them. After all they are all like brothers to me. But I miss him the most… His beautiful hair… His graceful movements when he dances… His voice… His small mouth which quite rarely turns into a smile but when he smiles it’s like… sunshine… yes… sunshine… and it’s sooo cute…

Luhan smiles at his thoughts. But then the feeling as if a hand is squeezing is heart is making him curl up on his bed. He whimpers.

I have to think of something else…

Work...

Yes, let’s do some work…

Reluctantly he gets up, shuffles over to his desk and plops on the chair turning around to look at the mess on the table. He has been coped up in his apartment for days already but there doesn’t seem to be an end to the requests that his manager sent over.

Too much work!

I’m going bonkers at this rate!

Yaaah! I’m talking to myself again! Stupid! Stupid!

Whining Luhan kicks the table leg and regrets it immediately. Clutching his foot he loudly lists of all cursing words he knows in as many languages as possible. Having a lot of friends all over the world the list turns out to be quite impressive. And the listing has the positive effect of postponing the work further. But after a while he runs out of words.

Well, another reason to curse…

Gosh, I’m so childish.

Embarrassed of himself he head-desks.

Groaning he sits up while rubbing his forehead. Wearily he stares at his table before he mechanically starts to look through the paper stacks and folders, finally bringing himself to work. After about an hour he stops realising that he doesn’t even remember what he has been reading and writing until now. His mind has been occupied by other things…

Giving up he clears a small space in the middle of the chaos and takes a white slightly crumpled paper and puts it right in front of him. While thinking he smooths out the sheet. There is a need in himself to pour all his thoughts on this sheet. No sooner has he put the pen on the paper the words seem to flow out of him forming a text. A song.

I write this for you.

For you only.

It has been a long time since he last had the opportunity to write a song. It has a liberating feeling to it. Slowly he frees himself of all the thoughts that have distracted him.

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Startled Luhan knocks a stack of paper on the floor. Reflexively his arms shoot out to catch the paper hurtling to the floor, sweeping half of the things on his desk off in the process. Cursing he jumps out of his chair as his legs are showered in white.

As he wants to kneel down to sort out his mess the visitor rings the bell again reminding Luhan that he was still there.

Really?!?

“Yaaah! I’m coming!” he shouts.