As we talked more Sungmin grew annoyed and quite, although it didn't seem to bother me much 

"Can we please talk about the insemination?" He finally asks with crossed arms 

"Yes of course, which one of you would like to be the donor?" She hands me my book back and I her poster 

"Can't we both be the donors?" He asks 

"I'm afraid not it would lead to some complications, so one of you will be donating." 

"I will do it." I vouch happily 

"I'm going to admit now that due to my fragile body insemination with the usual tools will cause me great pain, so gentle is the easiest way for me. I know it's hard to believe but it is the truth." She shyly explains with her head down 

"Oh, um well I'm not to sure how I feel about that.." Sungmin holds onto my arm 

"Well, I don't really see the issue with it, if we really want this child then I say we go for it. It's only one time." I protest instantly 

"Y-you'd really have with her?" His tone was hurt and confused 

"If you really want this, then I'd do it." 

"We have to go now, Miss Amaha. We will call you soon and let you know what we've decided." He says standing up and dragging me behind him forcefully 

"Farewell for now." Her head was still down when we left and I couldn't see her precious face anymore 

Once we were outside he let go of me 

"Sungmin, what the hell is wrong with you?" I ask angrily 

"You made me the third wheel in there, it's like you completely forgot about me. It's like I didn't exist anymore to you." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. I just adore her work and she is a huge inspiration to me I mean you know this. You've seen my collection of her works, and when I realized it was her I was happy and excited. I don't see what the big deal is with that." 

"It seemed like more that just fanboying, it seemed like you were forming a connection. She's a girl! And you're telling me in front of her that's you were willing to have with her. I'm your husband, you did to think about how that would make me feel?" He looks at me with teary eyes 

"If you want this child so badly then it's our only option." 

"You keep saying if I want this so badly! Why do you keep doing that? It's like you're not completely in this with me. Are you just humoring me?" 

"You really want the truth?" 

"You don't want this do you?" His voice went mellow 

"I'm sorry but....no I'm not ready for a baby right now. I'm just used to give you whatever you want and hate to say no, but this time I can't hide it. We are to young for this, being parents is something that should be happening way down the road." 

"I see.....can we go home please?" Is all he said before getting in the car 

He was completely silent the whole way home, and I wouldn't say anything to make him even angrier

"I'm going to bed, goodnight." He says walking upstairs to the guest bedroom, slamming the door behind him

He's acting like such a child, I hate it when he gets like this. It's really frustrating and irritating 

She's an idol of mine, we were having a great conversation about how much we inspire one another. I don't see why he is so upset about that. Besides, having is normal, I don't understand why that's an issue either. 

Maybe I just don't see things the way he does...then again we've never really been entirely on the same page. 

I hate being like this but I can't hide my feelings from myself, I wanted to tell him that this marriage was a mistake on my part 

I didn't get married because I was madly in love, I got married...because there didn't seem to be a reason not to because we had been together for so long 

He's crazy about me...but I don't think I'm as crazy about him as I thought I was...it's horrible I know 

I would understand if he hates me, but for the time being I think I will just stay where I am until I can find a way to tell him the truth and yet still the same time spare him from true heartbreak 

It's not like I wanted to run off with her, I just liked her and her kind nature. That's something I don't see very often in women these days 

Besides, she seemed very close with T.O.P, it's not like I would stand a chance anyway...right?