The pain grew from minute to minute. The tears stung in his eyes until they broke out and run freely over his tears. His heart was aching from unbearable pain, as if someone was smashing it against a wall and ripping it apart. Like someone was ripping his whole being apart, crushing his feelings and everything he is.

He pressed his and on his lips to muffle his sobbing, still a small whimpering sound escaped his lips. He closed his red glassy eyes and let the tears roll freely over his pale cheeks.

The pain was too much.

To bear it all alone. All those feelings, all the pressure to meet other’s expectations and knowing he would never be good enough. Never.

Please someone help me, he screamed in his mind and fell on his knees. Letting this heart shattering sounds of sorrow escape his lips. But no one was there to witness his pain and help him. He was all alone.

Since he left, he was all alone.

“Please come back”, he sobbed desperately.

The pain was too much for one human being, too much for him to go on. And in this lonely moment of desperation he came to a decision.

His breathing calmed down slightly and he stood up with weak shacking legs. He walked in the bathroom and filled the tube with cold water. He got in the tube and took a shacking breath.

“If you won’t come back, I’m coming to you.” He whispered with his soft, barely audible, broken voice and slowly he put his head under water and closed his eyes.

I’m coming home to you, Yifan, he thought and filled his lungs with the icy water.

The last thing he saw in his mind, was his beloved waiting for him with open arms and a beautiful smile gracing his lips.

He was home.