You can't be friends with someone you're in love with.

Hyukjae had to learn that the hard way.

He and Donghae started regularly calling each other every other week to catch up and talk about random things. He thought he could keep going and that he would be fine with just this, but when he heard the trill in Donghae's laughter, the sparkles in his eyes when they video chatted, the way he smiled at him, he knew that he desperately wanted and needed more.

Hyukjae was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with his friend. He couldn't help it. The fact that he was so far from the brunet didn't help, either. If anything, it just made him miss Donghae all the more.

So, he decided to be an idiot.

But, is he wrong for wanting something he can't have? Is he selfish for trying to hold onto something for the last few moments before it slips out of his grasp?

It was about 10:30 at night now, and Donghae was sure that Hyukjae would be free of all his activities. He thought the blond deserved it today, and so when he asked if Hyukjae was free, he video called him.

After ringing twice, Hyukjae picked up. He was lying on his stomach and the only part of his face Donghae could see was the bridge of his nose and his mono-lidded eyes. His hair was a mess and was sticking up in all directions, but he didn't seem to care.

It was kinda hot, actually.

Not that Donghae would ever admit that, but yeah. He thought it.

"Hey Hyuk!"

Donghae watched as Hyukjae's eyes closed and the muscles in his face moved upwards, the most Donghae was going to get as a smile. Hyukjae waved to him before letting his hand drop. He moved so that his face was propped up and he could actually speak.

"Hi Donghae. How've you been doing?"

Donghae shot off like a rocket. He told Hyukjae about everything, and I mean everything that happened at school down to the finest detail. He talked about how the crack in the wall in the science room was getting bigger, how the library almost burned down, all the new couples getting together (which Hyukjae didn't know if it was a hint or just Donghae being Donghae), and so much more. By the time Donghae was done talking, it was well past 11 and Hyukjae hadn't said another word yet.

"-and then Sungmin went up to Kyuhyun and just started making out with him in front of the gym teacher. You know how homophobic that guy is? Anyways, they were- oh, Hyuk, you haven't said a word... I guess I just kept rambling on, didn't I? Well, you can go now-"

"No it's fine, you can keep going."

Donghae looked at the time. It was 11:27 and he was pretty sure that Hyukjae should be going, but maybe the blond had a day off tomorrow or something?

"Are you sure you don't need to go? You do look awfully tired."

"Lee Donghae, are you insulting me? I am perfectly fine, thank you very much. Maybe my face just looks like this. ."

Donghae giggled a bit while he repositioned himself to see his screen better.

"Okay, well, back to the story then, the coach looked like he was about to rip Sungmin in half..."

Hyukjae watched Donghae talk. The way the boy moved was hypnotizing. His hands moved and glided through the air as though they were a part of it themselves, and the way his face lit up with so many different emotions was breathtaking, to say the least. His dark, almost black eyes shone brighter than any star Hyukjae had ever seen, and the way they changed into crescents when he smiled, Hyukjae just couldn't explain it. Donghae's beauty could not be described in words that would put him to justice. The pictures were nothing compared to the real thing.

Unconsciously, a smile grew an his face, and in a few moments, his gummy smile was out and shining.

Donghae quickly glanced towards the screen, and Hyukjae's smile took him by surprise. He stumbled over his words for a moment before he continued on with the story.

"Hey Hyuk, I know tomorrow's the weekend and all, but you should really get some sleep. It's already... 1:35. You've never stayed up this late with me before. We can always talk again next week, so sleep."

Hyukjae averted his eyes from the screen and bit his bottom lip. Donghae he looked like he was contemplating something important.

"About that... I can't call you next week. Or the week after that. For a month or two, actually. I have an important project of sorts coming up soon, so today will be the last time I talk to you for a while. Sorry for not telling you earlier. I guess I'll go now. It was nice talking to you, Donghae. I- no. Umm, have fun at school I guess. Bye."

The whole time, Hyukjae had been staring right above Donghae's head, and he could tell. Except for the last bit, Hyukjae wasn't looking him in the eye.

Before Hyukjae could reach towards his laptop to end the call, Donghae burst.

"Stop."

That made Hyukjae look up. He, very startled, stared into Donghae's eyes for an explanation, but the brunet wasn't about to give one. No, he wanted answers from Hyukjae.

"Why are you lying to me?"

Hyukjae's eyes widened as he leaned back into his sitting position. His eyes shifted back and forth before he leaned even further back to see if anyone was listening in on his conversation. He gave Donghae the 'wait a second' motion with his finger and Donghae watched as the blond got up and walked out of the shot. He heard an unintelligible yell and a quieter response before Hyukjae came back and sat in front of his laptop.

"Umm, what do you mean by lying-"

"Cut the bull. I know you're lying. You won't look me in the eye. What are you hiding from me? Why are you hiding anything from me?"

Hyukjae looked down. Donghae looked at him. Neither of them said anything.

"Okay, you know what? If you're gonna be like this, then I'm gonna hang up-"

"I still love you Donghae."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"Goddamnit! This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. God. Yes, I still love you, and it's getting really difficult for me to stay friends with you this way yadda yadda yadda can we talk about this another time? I really do not feel up for it right now. Good night, Donghae. I gotta go."

Hyukjae ended the call before Donghae could say anything.

Well, that just happened.

Hyukjae's phone started ringing. He picked it up and looked at who was calling.

Donghae.

Well, time for bed.

He ignored the call and slithered into the poor excuse he had for a bed, wishing away all of his problems.

Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

Hyukjae couldn't just ignore his phone anymore. He didn't know if it was just the brunet being stubborn, or the fact that he really had nothing better to do, but he had been calling him since 8 in the morning, and it was already 11. The blond had already put his phone on silent, and he had it on the small table beside his bed. He looked at it for a while, before his resolve gave in.

Hyukjae picked up the phone and stared at it. Sure enough, Donghae was calling.

So he picked up.

"...mother ing piece of won't take my goddamn calls...doesn't even want to hear what I have to say..."

"Maybe that mother ing piece of doesn't want to hear a bunch of reasons as to why he should get over you."

"..."

"Hello?"

"Hyukjae?"

"Were you trying to call somebody else for the last 3 hours?"

"... I suppose not."

"Well, are you gonna talk or not? 'Cause these calls are taking a toll on my beauty sleep. And my phone bill, actually, so get to it."

" you."

"Whoa, umm alright. That's not exactly what I thought you'd say-"

"Why do you always assume that I'm trying to tell you to get over me or something? News flash, I miss you too, Hyukjae. You're such a good friend-"

"That's the problem! I don't want to be your friend! I want to be someone more important to you! Why don't you understand?"

"I can't do that though-"

"I know. I know, Donghae, and that's why I need space. I can't keep this up and pretend that I'm not in love with you, because it's not doing anybody any good. So you might not hear from me for a while. Actually, it'd be best if you just forgot about me, okay? Goodbye, Donghae."

Hyukjae ended the call.

Donghae closed his eyes and willed the tears away.

They both lost a friend today.

a/n: #PrayForParis

#PrayForJapan

#PrayForMexico

#PrayForLebanon

#PrayForBaghdad

May all of you be safe tonight.