Falling.

Turn Back Time.

 

So I stood there, feeling like I was on top of the world.
And I closed my eyes before taking a step forward.
Not seeing is not hard. But feeling is.
But that's what I have been doing for the past ten years. It wasn't hard for me.
The feeling of falling wasn't there anymore. I felt like I was flying instead.
And when I reached the ground, my whole body ached.
But because every inch of me was in pain, I couldn't feel anymore. I felt numb.
And slowly, I drifted away.
 
---
"You ! Look what you have done to her! She's dead! She's dead! My sister is dead! And it's all your fault! You!"
"It had only been a year since she got her sight back, and now she's gone. I don't understand! Why is the world so unfair? She was a happy girl! She could have been so much more!"
"Did you really love her? How could you do this to her?"
 
Those were the words that kept repeating in his head. Her brother, her father, even his friend had againsthimHe admitted that it was his fault. He played and he had so much fun, but he lost. He had barely started playing but he already lost.
 
But what hurt him the most wasn't their words. True that their words made him guilty for taking things for granted, for taking her for granted. But what really hurt him the most was the fact that she was gone. He didn't want to believe it. She left.
 
He remembered the last words she said. He didn't have a chance to say anything because she just blurted out every feeling she had bottled up inside her.
 
"Why are you doing this to me? I gave you everything! But why? Why...? Did you have to do that? Did you have to do things behind my back? Why can't you just tell it straight to my face? Why do you have to lie? Why do you have to make up those excuses? The worst part isn't that... I believed you! Every single lie, I believed. That's the worst. Didyou ever think about me while you're with those people? Did you ever think about what I would feel? Did you ever love me?"
Then she broke down and he did nothing. He was disgusted with himself.
"I want to tell you so much more, but I can't. The more I look at you, the more disgusted I am with myself for still being in love with you despite what you did..."
Then she left. And that was the last time he saw her. Alive. 
 
"Hey," he heard his brother say.
It wasn't a nice kind of "hey". It was demanding. 
He felt a pain on the side of his body and he knew he was being kicked by his brother. His own brother that had also left his side.
"Hey, . Wake up."
Ouchhe thought.
He rubbed his eyes as he pulled himself up on a sitting position.
"Get dressed. At least decently. Even though you messed it up, her mom still adores you," his brother said.
And before he could even say more, his younger brother had left the room, slamming the door behind.
 
The first thing that greeted him when his family reached the burial site was a punch from her younger brother.
Her brother was seething.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
It took three people to hold him down.
Everyone who came to her funeral, everyone who loved her was there.
She would have been happyhe thought.
But everyone who loved her hated him. Except her mom. But he couldn't blame them.
She was one of a kind. 
More than a year ago, she was blind. They weren't even friends yet. But he saw her a couple of times before she was able to see. They were neighbors after all. Then when she got her eyesight back, she trasnferred to regular school. Tohis school.
She had no trouble catching up since she was very smart.
And not long later, they became a couple.
They clicked instantly. 
But the longer the relationship went on, the more of a jerk he became, the more he neglected her, the more he forgot she existed.
That was when she started to get tired. That was when she started to pry. That was when she found out. And that was why she jumped off the rooftop of the school building.
He never got to see her after the accident. Her body was too mangled, as what the people who found her described.
He wasn't able to stop the tears when they started to lower her casket.
It was all his fault.
 
They used to be good friends. Until he ed everything up.
They gave up just to make her happy. He was her happines. So they gave up.
They gave way for him. But in the end, it was never enough. If only they held on to her. If only they didn't stop fighting for her.
Her younger brother, well, step brother was in love with her. His bestfriend was in love with her. And even his brother was in love with her.
They all loved her, and still do, even before he met her.
 
How can I make things right? It's too selfish to ask for you to come back. All I ask is your forgiveness. And if you forgive me, I will ask for everyone's forgiveness. I will not stop until they forgive me, too. I'm sorry. I loved you. I still do. I'm stupid. I'm crazy. But I loved you. I love you.
 
He woke up feeling light. He remembered crying himself to sleep that night. But he felt so light. His head wasn't aching like it usually does the morning after he cried himself to sleep.
It felt different.
"YA--you're awake! It's a miracle!"
He turned his head to the doorway and found his brother doing a little dance of glee.
"Wha--you're talking to me now?" he said in disbelief.
His brother stopped dancing and looked at him weirdly.
"Are you...high or something? Oh, nevermind. Hurry up and get dressed! Time for school! And! Remember that girl I have a crush on down the street? Nevermind, you'll call her 'blind girl'. But yeah, her, she's going to school today since she can see. And I think she's in your class. AAAAH! You're going to be classmates with her! Make friends with her, alright? And then introduce us!"
He was confused. What was his brother talking about? Before he could even ask, his brother went skipping out of hisroom.
And school? He swore it was the weekend...
But nevertheless, he got ready. But he was still in a daze as thoughts after thoughts of her death replayed in his mind. Add to that the weird conversation he had with his brother.
Since when had they been talking again? Or since when did his brother start talking to him again?
 
He walked through the school halls, noting the busy atmosphere like it was a Monday. He looked at the bulletin board which proved him right. It was a Monday.
It made him wonder how the students could be so busy and jolly to see their friends again when a student just died by jumping off the rooftop of the particular building.
He slumped his way towards his classroom and sat at his usual place.
Not 30 seconds later, his bestfriend entered. He stiffened, but his bestfriend just smiled at him. As if they had never fought. As if they never had that argument.
"Hey, bro. You're early. That's new," his bestfriend teased.
"And..." he couldn't say anything. It was just how weird how his brother and his bestfriend started to talk to him again.
"We have a new classmate," his bestfriend said. "Heard she's pretty. Okay, you know what, I know she's pretty because she's--"
The bell rang cutting his bestfriend off.
His bestfriend wasn't even able to continue what he was supposed to say as the teacher entered the classroom, a cute girl behind her.
His eyes widened.
it couldn't be...
 
---
Sorry, had to stop there. I don't know how to go on. Huhu. It's unedited. So, sorry for the mistakes.
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Cherry_Drops
#1
Chapter 1: its strange reading a story with no specified characters but the anonymity behind it gives the overall story a nice touch...i dont know, i think its just that the feeling of thinking this could be anyone, makes you empathise with the emotions and feelings being expressed even more.
And I'd like to believe that its not a dream and that he was actually able to make things right this time round. Though i feel sorry for his brother and his best friend who also likes her.
I know you wrote this a long time ago now but im really happy i somehow managed to come across this haha
ohmychul
#2
It's really really good! :)
flabbycow #3
I love it. :)