Here is the very first review of the shop. I tried my best to be as fast and accurate as possible so here it is.

Phantasmagoria

by gaksitalGaksital

Language : 13/15.

The language you use is really good. I never saw one single grammar mistake even though I am far from being someone that is really picky towards that. What left me speechless , practically as soon as I read the first chapter was the level of vocabulary your used in this story. You words are well used and gave the story a total different meaning. On this level , I practically have nothing to say. You have the vocabulary of a really great author and I hardly recommend you to continue on this path. The only thing that bothered me , and believe me , it is far from being a real negative thing, is that it might be a little bit hard to understand for people that aren’t really fluent in English. That doesn’t mean that the whole vocabulary should be changed , only that maybe some words were a bit too complicated for some people. You must always keep in mind the public that you want to focus on. Maybe I am wrong when it comes to this and maybe you shouldn’t change that point if your goal isn’t this , but , correct me if I am wrong, most of people here are girls under the age of 17-18. Most of them , also , don’t live in a country where English is communally used and they know only the basics or a bit more. The words you used might be a little complicated for them to understand. I think I am far from being bad in English but , as it is not my first language either, I had to actually search for certain words in the dictionary. Overall , it is really great and so far I would only recommend to use a bit more of common synonyms whenever it is possible.

Plot : 17/20

Your plot was generally really good. I have to give you a special mention when it comes to the originality. I must say I never read anything like that before. The way you describe everything is really good also. I think the way you divided the whole story in many different ones was pretty interesting. Not only does it gave your story a nice and fresh turn and something that motives the reader to keep reading since we just want to keep reading to learn more about each one of them. I especially liked the way you tried to make each story linked to each other somehow. I was curious at first when I saw so many characters in your story because , let’s face it , usual ones only have the main two protagonists and the rest are only there to fill the plank spaces. In your story , though , each one of them had a really specific role and each of their stories were fun to read. On that , I must say , it’s well done.

I think you asked for a special review of your characters in your form? Am I right? I simply couldn’t not do it anyway so here it goes. The character I liked the most was clearly Suzy. She has that bit of innocent and we can’t help but feel sorry for all that happened to her in your story. Her character seem so full of charm that she hides for so many reasons. My second favorite one was Sehun. Even if we practically only had a little sneak peak of him , I like the way he was so charming with her. Another great thing is that , despite the fact that , in your story , Nana is a super star and , so , supposed to be out of “ our normal everyday world” she felt somehow reliable to me. She was way more down to earth than I expected her to be on the first glance.

Now let me explain why I didn’t gave you the perfect score in this section. I simply think you are close to have it but you are not quite there yet. I felt a bit odd while reading about Kris. Maybe you can give more details about him in the future chapters or something like that? It was well written and I understood with the way that you write that you seem to appreciate k