Posted: 12 May 2016, 00:00 EDT | Words: 4,772

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For hours Kai waited in Ji Won’s room, switching from her bed which no longer felt soft, to her dresser which made him stiff, to pacing back and forth across her wooden floors which made the time pass much more slowly. Several times he flashed himself to the front of the hospital he felt his master waiting in, staring up at the glass wall she sat behind. He’d thought about teleporting to her side without her knowing. All he had to do was slip in and keep his visibility off, simple enough.

You want to show me gratitude? Return me my privacy!

And each time it was these words that had him returning to Ji Won’s room. This was a time when she needed to be with her family, with people she trusted and who knew how to keep her calm. Though Kai was still learning to adapt to the role of friend, he did know that he couldn’t equal the comfort a family member.

“No, there’s nothing to get through,” Kai said aloud. “Ji Won said he was physically healthy. The severity of that fall was probably exaggerated because he’s an older man. He’ll be fine. He has to be.”

His gaze landed on the photo strip above Ji Won’s desk. His master’s face was extra bright and ecstatic with her arm locked around her grandfather’s neck like he was a school friend. They both held up peace signs, Ji Won’s natural and cute, her grandfather’s awkward and stiff. Kai imagined himself in the picture in the place of Mr. Kwon, Sr. Although in his head, he was the one locking his arm around Ji Won’s neck, looking cool and composed while Ji Won glared his way, the moment capturing the thoughts which would be going through her head – “get your arm off me before I make you take it off”.

Then all the pictures were changing. Kai had been inserted in most every frame, so many instances of Ji Won’s life which had always included him, her friend – no, her best friend. They’d pass their days in school, Ji Won dozing off in the middle of a lecture and him throwing an eraser her way to wake her up. Their evenings would be spent doing homework in her room. She’d be the distraction getting them off track, he’d be the pedant guiding them back, and her mother would periodically check on them with snacks. Their nights would transpire on the phone, Ji Won gossiping away about her latest boy band craze and he adding his sarcastic commentary about her misappropriated time and interest.

Kai blinked, clearing the filled whiteboard of his imagination. Or at least he’d thought it was all in his head. The fantasized photos had actually manifested themselves in real life. He lifted his hand and felt the residual warmth of magic in them. His heart pounded with fear. He’d never lost control like this before.

Freedom was getting to his head. All the things he expected to come were clouding his command of restraint. His harmless impulses were turning out to be more acute than he’d thought.

Kai took a deep breath and raked a hand through his hair. “I need to get out of this place.” He needed to escape to a place that didn’t have so much “Ji Won” surrounding him. With a quick swipe of his hand, he returned the photos to their original states and jumped a few time zones to the top of the South tower of the Golden Gate Bridge in California.

It was night here and the bridge was lit like a glowing lane of fire which cars entered and exited unharmed. Invisible, Kai was unfeeling. The wind was strong but it flowed right through the genie. He’d come here to get away from Ji Won, but she was what he focused on now. He had no idea of her grandfather’s condition, but he knew that every fiber of her being was wishing him to come out safe and healthy, which meant that Kai could do nothing with his magic.

Exhaling deeply, he tipped his head down and watched the blurs of cars pass beneath him. Thinking back on his human fantasy as Ji Won’s friend, he realized he’d probably be more help to her as a genie. If her grandfather’s case wasn’t too serious, it would be in his power to heal him once his master’s mind had been preoccupied. If he’d been human, what could he have done for Ji Won? Stand there helplessly while she broke out in tears imagining the worst case scenario in the waiting room? Seeing Ji Won upset made him uneasy, but tears had him jumping through hoops doing anything and everything to stop them.

“I thought friendship was easy. I’ve seen so many instances of what not to do, but not many of what I should do. If I were a human right now, I wouldn’t have magic. What would I do then?”

Kai stared at his fingers. What if, once he became the very thing he wanted, he realized he’d rather be a genie? Many times his masters had wished for something, thinking life would turn one way for them, but in actuality it had resulted in highly unanticipated and unwanted scenarios.

And it wasn’t like it was all bad being Ji Won’s genie. This way, he was guaranteed one friend. So long as Ji Won never made her last wish, life wouldn’t be so lonely and monotonous being attached to the girl for the rest of his life.

The rest of his life, no, that wasn’t right. He was immortal. Ji Won would leave this world in some decades and he’d be alone again. He’d eventually fall into the hands of another master, one he knew wouldn’t be as lenient and sociable as Ji Won had been.

And even before her life expired, Ji Won would age, marry, and start a family of her own. Something Kai had discovered through observing humans was that the beginnings of a family meant the endings of friendships. Once she had a husband and children, Ji Won wouldn’t need, no she wouldn’t want the company of a flippant genie. She’d make the wish that would break their link and forever make him invisible to her.

This was why he needed freedom. If there was going to be even an inkling of a chance to remain by Ji Won’s side, he needed to be released from the shackles of the talisman.

By now a few hours had passed and Kai wondered if his master had returned from the hospital. He decided to quickly pop into her room to check. To his pleasant surprise, Ji Won was at her desk. “You’re back,” he voiced with a little more enthusiasm than he’d intended. Believing her to be studying, the genie assumed her grandfather was okay, though he still asked, “How’s your grandfather?”

Ji Won didn’t reply. Only now did Kai realize her shoulders were hunched and her hands were not on her desk, but in her lap, holding something. He appeared behind her and turned her chair around to find that she was actually crying while staring at her phone. The background was set to a picture of her and her grandfather.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded. He knelt down and took her flush, wet face in his hands. “Ji Won, you’re hot. You need to calm down and stop crying.”

“I…” she whimpered through a pouring of tears, “I…I killed my grandfather.”

Kai turned rigid with shock. “What?”

No, she couldn’t have. There was no way the girl he’d seen laughing and chatting with her grandfather only yesterday could have killed the elderly man. She’d just used a wish to save him, so how could she ever think to harm him?

But more frightening than this was the reminder of his pivotal role in the death of Mirae Group’s Chairman. He’d been able to file it away in the back of his mind for the past couple of days because of Ji Won, but it was once again at the forefront – a painful thorn he would never be able to remove. I’m not the bad person. I’m just being used in a bad way, he had to remind himself.

“Because of me, my grandfather is going to die,” she blubbered.

Kai exhaled in a sigh of relief. He wasn’t actually dead. “Ji Won, I think you’re overreacting.” She was likely making a mountain out of a molehill. As if it were possible for the foolish, naïve girl before him to have the kind of hand in whatever condition her grandfather was currently in that he’d had in the passing of the Chairman.

Ji Won doggedly shook her head. “No, I’m not! He’s in the hospital and he’s dying and it’s all because I chose money over doing the right thing!”

Maybe his condition was more severe than he’d imagined, but even so Kai was absolutely baffled by the logic behind her blame. “What are you talking about?”

“Yesterday,” she sniveled, “we were walking and he faltered. I could see he was hurting, but he told me he was okay and I believed him because he gave me money. I killed my grandfather for a stupid $100!”

“That isn’t your fault,” he adamantly stated. “He told you he was fine, of course you’d believe him.”

If there was one thing Kai was certain of, it was that Ji Won loved her grandfather as much as the Chairman hated his son. If she’d truly thought he was suffering, not even money could tempt her to turn a blind eye to his pain. He must have had the acting chops that she clearly didn’t if he’d been able to fool her.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s dying!” she cried out in frustration. “He went out today because of me. Maybe if he’d stayed at home, he wouldn’t have strained himself and he’d still be okay.” Breathing uneven, she pressed circling motions into her temples with her fingers. She was in pain too and it had Kai in turmoil to see her this way.

“I think you should lie down,” he gently suggested. “You’re feverish and upset, you should get some rest.” At least in sleep she looked peaceful and would have some temporary reprieve from this ordeal which was ostensibly putting strain on her health.

“Rest,” Ji Won robotically repeated.

Her dull eyes lifelessly stared ahead at empty space, as if her body was physically here but her mind was thousands of miles away. Never had Kai wanted to see the blaze of amber fire in them like he did now. But he didn’t dare anger her for his sake. And to his great fortune, he didn’t have to say a word for a tiny spark to light up in them and pin him with desperation.

“You can save him,” she frantically stated. “If I go to sleep, I won’t be thinking about him and you can use your magic to cure him.”

How he wished he could ease her suffering in that way. But no, he had to regrettably answer, “I can’t.”

Immediately her beseeching gaze turned serious and confused. “Why not?”

“Something of that magnitude requires a lot of magic.”

Ji Won’s eyes dropped to her wrist where another spoke in her tattoo had returned since last she’d mentioned it. “So then we just wait till all your magic is restored and then you can do it, right? It’ll delay your freedom, but like you said earlier, what’s a few more days?”

He would have given her a few more years if he had to…if it were even possible. “Ji Won,” he said with a defeated shake of his head, “it would have to be wished.”

“I don’t understand, you healed my burn without me wishing so why can’t you fix my grandfather?!”

I wish it were that easy. I wish the magic within me was fully mine. I wish I could do this one thing for you after all you’ve promised to do for me. But what use was there telling Ji Won what he wished he could do? His wishes weren’t absolute like hers. It was useless to her to tell him about all the things he wanted to do for her but couldn’t. So he took her hands in his and attempted to gently explain, “Healing and saving someone from death are two very different things. There are limitations on the things I can do of my own accord.”

“Limitations,” Ji Won repeated in a whisper. The word sounded even more disparaging coming out of . She snatched her hands back and said with bitter force, “Right, all your stupid rules that conveniently come up to ruin every wish I try to make.”

“Ji Won…” Kai croaked. That she would ever imply he enjoyed the restrictions which prevented him from giving her what she wanted stupefied him. He knew he had a lot to learn about friendship, but had he been failing so miserably for the past couple of days that Ji Won would think he wouldn’t do anything within his means to help her?

“You knew I didn’t mean to make my first wish, yet you granted it anyway,” she sneered. “If you hadn’t, I’d still have two wishes left and I could use one of them on my grandfather now. And if that wasn’t enough, after I made my second wish, you didn’t even fix him.”

“I did what you asked,” Kai desperately countered. He’d done as much as his power would have permitted him, to fulfill his master’s wish as it was spoken. “I cured his dementia.”

“That’s all you did.” Ji Won stood and backed away from him like he was some disgusting rodent. “You should have made sure he was healthy. You should have made sure the rest of his body was okay!” she fiercely shouted.

There was a lump in Kai’s throat which he tried to swallow. It didn’t go down. He pushed off the ground and took a step towards Ji Won but she again retreated, keeping a disdainful glare on him. It made his heart ache in an unfamiliar sort of way. His one and only friend was upset with him and there was he could do to appease her the way she wanted.

Think Kai. What have you read about humans when they’re angry like this?

Ji Won’s chest heaved with ragged breathing, her pupils were dilated and her shoulders were hunched forward guardedly. These were the classic symptoms of the fight or flight mechanism which was triggered when a human or animal felt threatened and which propelled them to either fight or flee from harm. Ji Won had chosen to fight. If animals bared teeth, protracted claws, or made themselves look physically bigger as a first line of defense, humans attacked with hurtful words.

He had to calm Ji Won down or who knew what she’d do when her rational mind was clouded by her instinct for survival. In a gentle and soothing voice, he said, “I know you’re acting like this because you’re still in shock –”

But Kai was too late to diffuse the bomb. Ji Won reached for the talisman on her nightstand and in a quiet voice that sounded distant and unfeeling, said, “Shut. Up.”

Kai staggered with the direct order that cut him off mid-sentence. His hand shot to his heart where his mark pierced him like a sharp knife. He clenched his teeth to prevent a scream from escaping. He couldn’t speak without his magic mercilessly punishing him, but he had faith that Ji Won would release her hold on him without his asking. His eyes met hers and he saw in them regret.

It vanished a split-second later when the hand holding the talisman shook with her tight grip and her eyes glowed with a burning amber that was beyond any anger he’d ever instigated.

“These past few days, I’ve suffered so much mental and verbal abuse because of you,” she declared. “You invaded my privacy, unfairly judged me, ridiculed me every chance you got, even when I was already hurting so much. I never asked for a genie. I never wanted you! All you’ve done is make my life worse!”

Each of her words pricked Kai. He’d never known they could be so lethal outside of a wish or a direct order. He’d never known they could hold as much power over him as the talisman did when he tried to disobey.

But it wasn’t until Ji Won delivered her next line that Kai realized she was past simple survival and into a predatory need to kill. Eyes venomous like a snake’s just before they struck, she said, “You don’t deserve my last wish.”

The poison of her words rapidly spread through Kai’s veins, weakening him until he could no longer stay standing. He fell to his knees. His eyes stung and there was a line of liquid that threatened to fall below his lower lashes but he bit the tears back. He still believed Ji Won would stop, would forgive him, would keep her promise if he could just get past the wall she’d put around herself. “I’m sorry Ji Won.” Every word he spoke stung as much as hers had, but in a way he was familiar with. The talisman was castigating him for breaking his order of silence. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. Just please, think about what you’re doing.”

Her wall was fortified. She smirked down at him, a lion its lips at the mouse trapped between its paw. “Well look who’s on his knees and begging now.” Her smile transformed into a stoic line. “Too bad I’m not in a forgiving mood.” She leaned in closer and looked into his imploring eyes. There was no sign of the Ji Won who’d thanked him on her knees in them, no trace of the Ji Won who’d unhesitatingly given her last wish to him. There was only a cold hollowness in those amber eyes that Kai thought looked familiar, though he couldn’t place where. "It looks like you don't take well to things not going the way you want. But guess what? Life doesn't always go your way. I believe those were your exact words to me after granting my first wish.”

Kai could no longer hold the stinging tears back. He’d never cried in front of a master before and never for any reason other than the guilt of the heinous acts they’d made him fulfill. But Ji Won had shed so many tears around him, both for people who did and didn’t deserve them. And each time they had stirred pity within him. Maybe she would take pity on him now. That innocent, naïve Ji Won was still inside and would resurface before it was too late. If, no when, she did, he would forgive her. He wouldn’t hold this moment of inhumane domination over him against her. That was what friendship was about, right? Forgiving and forgetting.

So with one last plea because he believed in their friendship, Kai mustered up the scant energy within him and desperately sought Ji Won’s eyes. “Please,” he whimpered. The talisman did not take well to his defiance. His chest exploded with agonizing white pain that burned his will. “I’m begging you,” he gasped with his remaining breath. “Don’t do this.”

Ji Won will come through. I trust her. I believe in my friend.

Her hard amber eyes never wavered and it was now that Kai pieced together where he’d seen that cruel look before, in Park Jung Woo as he spoke the words that killed his father. He was the chairman on the receiving end of Jung Woo’s cruel wish. But Kai couldn’t die. No, instead, Ji Won attacked the single thing that had brought him happiness for the first time since waking up to the void of his life.  “I wish my grandfather was healthy again.”

Their bond of camaraderie shattered.

Numb and weak, Kai barely felt the singe of magic unable to leave his body. His arms fell limply to his side. His mind was a blank, all the hope and joy of the past couple days out of him.

Ji Won’s voice cut the chilling silence. “What’s wrong? Why isn’t it working?”

Kai no longer required the talisman’s whip of fire to follow orders. He’d given in, locked himself in a cell of solitude and submission as he listlessly answered without hesitation, “I don’t have enough magic yet.”

When Ji Won’s phone rang, he heard her side of the conversation from a distance, as if he were listening to her through water. “How is he?” a hopeful, worried voice asked the receiver. Where was this person when he needed her?

Kai didn’t hear how her grandfather was faring. He no longer had the energy or any semblance of interest in his master and her life.

“Yes!” an overeager Ji Won said into the phone. “I’ll take the next bus over.”

A shuffle of footsteps crossed Kai’s low line of vision. There was a tiny clinking of metal as the coil of the talisman’s chain rubbed against itself and then a small thud when it met the wood of Ji Won’s nightstand. Kai was released.

He waited for an apology, an explanation, anything. He wasn’t sure he could forgive her at this point, but she’d wronged him and she needed to show penance.

Ji Won remained silent as she made for the door, pushing Kai past his threshold of patience and consideration towards her. Finding his voice again, he said, “I was an idiot to think you’d keep your promise.” 

Ji Won whirled around just as he turned his head to her. Gone was her ruthlessness from minutes prior, replaced by the wide-eyed worry he’d desperately pleaded for. But it was too late.

“I was a bigger idiot to think we could be friends. You’re just as greedy and self-serving as every one of my previous masters. It looks like I was right about the kind of person I initially thought you were: heartless.”

She swallowed hard, and shakily retorted, “I’m sorry about the way I acted, but –”

“I don’t need your apologies!” Kai seethed through his teeth. They were meaningless when she’d proven how worthless the words that came from really were.

“My grandfather is dying,” Ji Won stressed. “You’re asking me to choose you over him.”

“And in what scenario would I ever be chosen over anyone else?!” he shot back lividly. “Your grandfather, he has you, your parents, but who do I have? No one! I don’t have the luxury of family or friends who would sacrifice anything to help me.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to do…” a weary Ji Won answered.

“I expect you to keep your promise,” Kai replied evenly.

She couldn’t even meet his eyes as her defeated voice replied, “I can’t.”

“Then you shouldn’t have made it in the first place. I asked you if you were sure about giving me your last wish. I gave you a chance to change your mind!”

“And at the time I didn’t think I would,” she defended as if that were a sound argument.

“A promise isn’t kept based on a whim. It’s a commitment, that no matter the circumstance you’ll uphold your word.” His voice was hard, but beneath it was the last grain of faith remaining for his master. Even now, he still wanted to believe that Ji Won would do the honorable thing.

“I’m sorry,” she sniveled with the oncoming of tears.

So she’d made her decision then. She wasn’t going to keep her word. Kai picked himself off the ground and stood tall. He hoped his next words crushed her as much as they’d quashed him. “It’s too bad I’m not in a forgiving mood.”

They seemed to. Ji Won’s lips parted and her moist, red eyes widened with a look of hurt. But why didn’t vengeance feel good? Park Jung Woo had smiled when he killed his father. Ji Won had smirked when she’d broken her promise. So why did he feel weak and defeated?

“You gave me hope,” he pitifully confessed. “You let me believe that you could give me a life beyond a servile genie.”

Ji Won couldn’t even bother him with a response. Her head hung low and she quietly stared at the ground. Maybe he’d shown vulnerability just now, but at least he wasn’t so much of a coward that he couldn’t look guilt in the eye. Worse, after a long minute she actually made to leave. Her hand had just touched the doorknob when, overridden with anger that she thought she could escape with impunity, he said with deluging scorn, “Please don’t call for me again until your final wish. I don’t want to see your face any more than I have to.”

Kai took her silent exit as compliance. He was now left alone in Ji Won’s room, surrounded by her scent, her possessions, her memories. It made him sick. The air felt stale and suffocating around him.

There was a black hole in his chest him in from the inside. The scenery changed and he was on top of the Northeast Asia Trade Tower. He stood mute on the hard concrete roof. The chilling wind raised goosebumps on his arms but there was a tropical storm within him.

By his side, fists shook with anger as the storm approached the borders of his sanity and painted the black of his unfeeling insides with shades of red. Hot, that was all he could feel now. What Ji Won had done to him, no other master had dared to do. They’d made him do unspeakable things for their own gains yes, but his mental and physical injuries had always been casualties of their greed. Ji Won had toyed with him for her own pleasure. She’d treated him like an animal, holding a stick with a carrot just in his reach only to snatch it away and reward him instead with a gutting blow. And he’d let her debase him. On his knees, he’d cried and begged. But Ji Won had been a cruel, heartless monster who knew no mercy. Park Jung Woo may have killed his father, but it was a vendetta he believed in and against someone who’d wronged him. He’d never wronged Ji Won to deserve her scorn and that made her even more detestable.

The storm had now invaded and its eye was stationed in his heart, drawing upon his magic. Flames through his veins. If this is what he got for believing in Ji Won, then he’d return it to her in like. He’d consume his magic. The wish she’d taken from him, he’d take it from her. What would she do when it was too late and her grandfather was gone? Not even magic could rewind death. Would she give him freedom then?

His fingers burned. He had no aim for the magic, only that it be spent. With a scream of rage, Kai willed the fire out into the sky. His cry strangled into a wail of pain. Searing him like a branding iron, the triangular mark on his chest reminded him that the magic emblazoned within him was not actually his.

He fell to his knees, once again in tears as he dug his nails into the heart of his shirt. What had he almost done? His anger had blinded him until he’d almost taken away Ji Won’s grandfather’s only lifeline. Kai’s morals had become so crippled that he’d attempted to take an innocent’s life. Not directly, but that was how it always was for him. He was the catalyst for every crime ever committed by his masters. Except this time, it wasn’t his masters compelling him into sin.

Kai had always known the difference between right and wrong. He’d always tried to use his magic for good. He’d always tried to fight against wishes for evil even when he’d known he would fail. And now, he’d lost sight of his integrity, he’d tried to use his magic for revenge, and if the limitations he so hated hadn’t been in place, he’d have instigated an evil that his mantras could never cure.

“What has she done to me,” he softly cried.

Ji Won had broken him in a way he never thought possible.

~//~

Author's Note