1

Bang Yongguk and Bang Yongnam were born on the same day in 1990, 31^st of March.

Their parents were elated to have them, two healthy infants with angelic features. They raised the twins with unconditional love and provided everything for them. Their father wanted them to be two grown, capable men in the future while their mother wished for them to build a long lasting family so that she could play with her grandchildren. Those were simple wishes from their parents. But the most important thing—as what their father told them one day—was for both of them to learn the beauty of life. It might sound simple but the twins knew that the words held a deeper meaning to it.

With their parents’ wishes being a constant reminder for them to turn themselves into decent persons, both of them grew older without problem as time passed by.

When they reached the age of ten, they moved out of their house in Ijak Island to live in Incheon, Seoul. It was because their father got promoted and his office was in Seoul so he had to bring his family there. Yongguk was a little bit sad for leaving the house since he loved staying there, playing with his neighbors whom he'd met since he was a toddler until the sun set but Yongnam on the other hand was excited to venture to new places and meet new people.

This was where they drew the line between them. Despite having the same appearance, the twins had different personalities and interests. Yongguk was an introvert and Yongnam was an extrovert. Yongguk loved drawing cartoons on blank papers in his room and his older brother by ten minutes was interested in making instruments out of kitchen utensils he stole from their mother’s kitchen to play with his friends. This didn’t mean they didn’t get along though. They were still best friends to each other. They always spent their time together, meeting new people together and doing everything in general together. It was just that Yongnam always did the talking while Yongguk stood by his side, smiling shyly at the new friends they met. Yongguk thought that he was meant to be his brother’s shadow. It wasn’t something to be upset about though. He liked having it that way because he simply loved watching and observing while his brother interacted with people around them.

They were like two puzzles that fit each other.

After two weeks of moving to Incheon, Yongguk met a boy with bunny teeth who was two centimeters shorter than him while he was outside drawing random patterns on the mud at the front yard of his house. Yongnam was hanging out with his new friends at their new secret hiding. He’d asked his little brother to join them but Yongguk wasn’t in the mood to travel that far so he ended up staying at home.

The boy who resembled a rabbit was the one who initiated the conversation—which was understandable since Yongguk wasn’t the kind of person to do such thing.

The boy greeted Yongguk with a wave of his hand, smiling cheerfully at him.

“Hey, I’m Himchan. What’s your name?”

Yongguk wasn’t particularly annoyed by the sight of teeth but somehow the person named Himchan who was now standing before him seemed to get on his nerves when he smiled at him. Those two front teeth that reminded Yongguk of his and Yongnam’s dead pet bunnies only managed to irritate Yongguk the longer he stared at it.

“I don’t wanna be your friend,” he’d muttered quietly, head hung low as he tried to focus on the patterns he’d drawn on the mud, anything to distract him from Himchan’s front teeth. Himchan didn’t seem fazed by his statement though because the boy went on with his introduction and told Yongguk about him living next door. He even said that they attended the same school but not in the same class. Himchan had seen him on his first day at school and wished to learn more about him. As the bunny teeth boy continued to babble about something Yongguk found no reason to listen to, Yongguk finally had enough. He lifted his head from where he was staring down at his artwork to meet Himchan’s twinkling eyes. “Stop talking to me. I hate looking at your front teeth. They’re ugly.”

The words turned Himchan speechless. His animated face slowly congealed and his curvy lips pulled down into a frown. The front teeth were no more to be seen when his lips closed over them. And then there were tears rolling down his cheeks and a few whimpers coming from his small, trembling body.

Yongguk made Himchan cry on their first meeting.

-

Yongnam was the one who brought Himchan back to their house the second time they met. Yongguk was sitting on the swing their father made for them by tying the rope on the thick tree branch in front of their house when he saw the bunny boy walking beside his twin brother, fiddling with his thumbs nervously as he made his way to Yongguk.

“Yongguk, this is Himchan. He told me that you guys have met before.” Yongnam smiled at Himchan and then looked at his scowling twin. “But then he told me that you don’t wanna be friends with him because he’s ugly. That’s so mean of you, Yongguk. You should apologize.”

Yongguk wanted to tell Yongnam that he didn’t think Himchan as someone ugly, just that he was annoyed by his front teeth, but he resorted to staying quiet because that was the kind of person he was, the one with limited words. And so he apologized to Himchan reluctantly, his eyes on the ground, staring at his feet that were wearing a pair of slippers that were much too big for him.

When he heard a chuckle coming from Himchan, he lifted his head to see the said boy beaming at him— once again those front teeth made their appearance and Yongguk cringed.

“I forgive you, Yongguk.” Himchan’s smile grew wider. Yongguk just couldn’t throw away the image of his dead pets but for Yongnam’s sake, he braved himself and faced Himchan as if he had nothing against him.

That fateful day, the three of them became friends.

-

Yongguk found that Himchan wasn’t that bad as a friend despite his annoying teeth. Himchan was generous. He liked taking care of his friends. At school, he would always bring the lunch box his mother had packed for him to share it with the twins. Yongguk was a big fan of chicken nuggets so when Himchan gave him three pieces out of ten, he deemed that Himchan was good enough to be his friend. He figured that he could tolerate with the boy’s front teeth if it meant that he could eat chicken nuggets during recess.

-

At the age of sixteen, the three of them entered high school. They managed to get into the same class and Himchan had been so excited that he made his mother cook as many chicken nuggets as she could for him to bring it to school. Yongguk was no longer in love with chicken nuggets, unfortunately. He’d moved on to instant noodles after reaching his teenage years.

“You don’t really have to force Aunt Kim to cook that much, Himchan.” Yongnam shook his head at the sight of three lunch boxes stacked upon the desk that was supposed to be Yongguk’s.

“This is the first time that we get to be in the same class. I don’t wanna miss celebrating this miracle!” Himchan threw his hands in the air.

Yongguk could only nod at the lively boy. His eyes weren’t on the lunch boxes. They were focused on Himchan’s face. He’d been staring at it since they came across each other at the front gate of the school. Before they started school, there was summer break and the Bang family had gone back to Ijak Island to live there the entire season. The twins hadn’t had the chance to contact Himchan that often. They only managed to send him two letters, telling him about the activities they did during the vacation and the part time jobs the twins did at a local shop near their old house. The letters were of course written by Yongnam. He was the one who suggested sending letters to Himchan anyway. Yongguk had agreed and let his brother write them. He only told Yongnam to say hi to Himchan. That was the only message he wanted Himchan to receive because he had no idea what to tell him. They’d become close since they were little but Yongguk still lacked in communicating. He knew Himchan wouldn’t mind not receiving anything from him though because the latter was used to Yongguk’s quiet personality. He understood Yongguk’s nature.

Teenagers can grow rapidly in a short time, Yongguk noted. When he and Yongnam returned to school that morning to once again meet Himchan after months of absence, he was surprised to see Himchan sporting a new look. He had become better-looking and he’d lost a lot of weight. He even grew to the same height as him and Yongnam. He was still wearing that same spectacle from middle school but it looked better now that his cheeks weren’t rounder than before. He looked smarter, handsome even.

Yongguk didn’t point them out to Himchan however. He merely stared at the boy as he chatted with his twin spiritedly, trying to catch up with each other. The only thing that didn’t change was Himchan’s personality, of course. He was still that cheerful boy who could talk non-stop. When Himchan laughed, Yongguk caught the sight of his front teeth. He waited for the same annoyance to hit him but it never did. He simply lost the feeling of being irritated by Himchan’s front teeth. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to thank Himchan’s change of appearance or not for letting him forget about hating the boy’s bunny teeth.

-

It was a windy day at the beach.

The three friends had decided to go there on a Sunday morning to play in the sands and ocean, seeking for tranquillity after struggling with homework back home. As always, Himchan was the most excited one to go on the trip. He’d brought food and everything they needed for the trip. Yongguk and Yongnam only showed up with their swimming trunks in their backpacks that morning.

They took the bus and headed straight to the beach. There were quite a number of visitors there—families and couples. They found a spot for the three of them near the big rocks that was located at the end of the beach. Himchan spread the cloth on the sand and sat down on it, beckoning Yongguk to join him.

“Aren’t you glad we made the decision to go here?” Himchan had his eyes on two kids building a sandcastle, arms wrapped around his knees.

“Yeah,” Yongguk nodded as he sat down next to his friend.

Yongnam had gone to the changing room earlier. He wanted to rent a surfboard so he could play with the waves but since the weather was terribly windy, the person in charge of the rental had apologized and told them that surfing wouldn’t be safe for today. The red flag was even raised a few meters away in the ocean. People were only allowed to swim nearby.     

“Are you gonna swim today?”  Himchan asked.

“I’m not sure whether it’s safe to swim out there.” Yongguk squinted his eyes at the horizon, spotting a blue boat from afar.

“It’s not like there’re sharks in the water.” Himchan chuckled and shook his head.

A minute later Yongnam appeared in his swimming trunks. He had a wide smile on his face, excited to dive into the water and just release the stress from school.

“What are you guys waiting for? Let’s go!” he waved his hands in the air.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna join us?” a hand was placed on Yongguk’s thigh. He tore his gaze from the blue boat to see Himchan staring at him expectantly, face somewhat closer than ever from his. He stiffened when Himchan gave him a soft squeeze on his knee, urging him to answer his question.

“N-no.” Yongguk stared down at the sand and cleared his throat.

Himchan hummed and murmured something about Yongguk being a boring person, standing up and ing his shirt. Yongguk couldn’t help but to steal a glance at his friend. Himchan had removed his shirt, exposing his pale skin to the sun.

Yongguk swallowed at his saliva unconsciously when he raked his eyes down his friend’s body. His skin was so white that it made him look like a ghost. He remembered Himchan always complaining about his pale complexion. He’d told the twins about getting himself tanned before. To be honest Yongguk preferred him the way he was. He looked better with pale skin.

The splashing of water jolted Yongguk out of his thoughts. He blinked and craned his neck to look at Yongnam who was already waist deep in the water, calling out to them. Yongguk shook his head as a sign that he wouldn’t join them. Himchan on the other hand started running towards the sea and made his way to where Yongnam was standing, tackling him down swiftly. Both of them disappeared into the water. Yongguk stood up and strained his eyes to focus on the spot where his friends were a moment ago.

Himchan emerged from the water seconds later, hands flailing about and laughing out loud at something. He then slipped back into the water and this time Yongnam made his appearance. Turned out he’d pulled at Himchan’s leg and kept him underwater. Both of them wrestled for another minute, laughing without a care that they were being too loud. Yongguk sighed and sat down again, monitoring his friends silently.

Yongguk still had his eyes on Himchan. He could clearly see the beads of water rolling down his arms, glinting under the sun. The wind blew and it caressed at Himchan’s hair gently. The way Himchan closed his eyes peacefully as the waves hit him reminded Yongguk of the days he spent his time reading books in his room, obscured from the outside world. It was mesmerizing.  

Another laugh came from Himchan.

Yongnam was spinning him around in the water, arms around his waist.

Yongguk caught himself gulping at the sight. As he had his eyes glued to his friend's body this whole time, he didn’t realize that Himchan was staring back at him. When their eyes met Yongguk’s breath hitched. He felt warm all of the sudden and soon enough it turned uncomfortable. He didn’t dare to look down between his legs. He quickly got to his feet and turned away from Himchan, running towards the nearest toilet.

He remembered Himchan’s puzzled face when he saw him running away.  

-

Realizing that Himchan had grown attractive through the years, Yongguk started distancing himself away from his friend, trying not to spend too much time with him. He didn’t know why he couldn’t take his eyes off the boy. When they played soccer, he would catch himself watching Himchan balancing the ball with his feet in a graceful manner. The day they went to the arcade to shoot down zombies, he would find himself standing close to Himchan, always covering for him and saving him from the zombies when the latter’s character lagged behind. When they spent their days lazing around at the twins’ house, he would always lie down beside Himchan so he could secretly stare at him closing his eyes, bow shaped lips curling into a smile when the wind hit the wind chime, causing it to ring.

Yongguk was scared of what Himchan was doing to him. He turned nervous when the boy simply smiled at him and when he touched Yongguk, it would feel like his skin was burning. He felt like hiding every time Himchan called out for him. It seemed like Himchan knew that he was avoiding him so the boy gave up trying to get close to him. Yongguk could clearly see that Himchan was hurt by his behaviour but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize. It was complicated. He had no idea what was happening to him.

On the other hand, Yongnam didn’t seem to have any problem with Himchan. They got along really well. They even shared the same interest in music. Yongnam had joined the school band, taking the guitarist position while Himchan as the keyboardist. They synced perfectly when they performed. Yongguk felt bad that he couldn’t experience the same thing since he wasn’t that into music but he figured that being the audience was good enough. He liked watching after all.

He could see that Yongnam and Himchan enjoyed being in the band. The wide smiles and the laughter they shared with each other was enough to prove to Yongguk that they were happy.

-

The band won first place on a local competition held by the school.

The three of them decided to celebrate their win at a ramen shop near their house. The owner of the shop was someone who was close to the twins’ father so they ended up receiving free meals in honor of their first win.

“Guess what,” Himchan leaned close to the twins, grinning mischievously as he dug his hands into the big black bag that he used to keep his instrument. “I got us something worthy to celebrate our win!” he then produced a bottle of fancy looking wine, waving it about like a drunken man although he hadn’t had a sip of it yet.

“Oh, . Where did you get that, Himchan?” Yongnam hit Himchan on the shoulder, clearly amused by his friend’s secret stash.

“You guys know how crazy my mom is about wine. She has like this entire collection of wine in the basement. I don’t know whether this is good though. I only stole the one that was similar to the few others so she wouldn’t notice.”

“You’re out of your mind, Himchan.” Yongguk shook his head with disbelief.

“Yeah,” Yongnam nodded. “Do you even know how to drink that ?”

“Oh it’s not that hard, really,” Himchan waved a hand dismissively. “We can stop when we start to feel woozy.”

Yongguk had a hunch that the night wasn’t going to pass by smoothly but he went along with it anyway because Yongnam was excited to taste the wine and Himchan had already unscrewed the cork off the bottle, his lips curled up in anticipation. He then poured the wine into three small tea glasses which he’d grabbed from behind the counter.

“Give me a toast, boys.” Himchan held up his glass, looking at his two friends with a raised brow.

The three of them joined their glasses with a soft clank and they downed the wine in one shot. Yongguk almost spluttered the wine out his mouth, coughing profusely at the foreign taste. Yongnam only scrunched up his face in distaste while Himchan was drinking it like a pro.

“This tastes so good.” Himchan commented, at his bottom lip. Yongguk did the same thing when he saw Himchan doing it. “You guys want another sip?”

“Sure,” Yongnam held out his glasses to Himchan. Yongguk shook his head, trying to coax his twin brother out of this before he could get himself drunk. He couldn’t imagine how their parents would react to them if they were to be found out drinking some expensive and getting themselves drunk. He didn’t want to be grounded.

“Yongnam, slow down.” Yongguk held onto his sleeve when his older brother drank the wine in one shot once again. “Oh god, you’re so in trouble if mom finds out about this.”

“Relax, Yongguk.” A hand on his shoulder startled Yongguk. He turned to see Himchan looking at him through his thick lashes, cheeks stained red. He was drunk, obviously. Yongguk didn’t know that he could get drunk that easily. “Take another sip, come on.”

“Himchan, you gotta stop drinking or you’re gonna throw up.” Yongguk steadied the boy when he almost stumbled down the stool he was sitting on. He then looked behind him to find Yongnam already passed out, his head resting on the counter. He let out a groan and cursed at himself for not stopping his friends from their drinking spree. Slinging his arm around Yongnam’s waist, Yongguk got him to stand up and reached out his free hand for Himchan to take. “You guys owe me ten bowls of ramen for this.” He heaved out a sigh.

After making sure that Yongnam wouldn’t fall off his back, Yongguk proceeded to pulling at Himchan’s hand and led him towards their house. First he had to get Yongnam into bed and then he needed to send Himchan home. That was the plan. It sounded simple but Yongguk spent almost an hour trudging up the stairs with Yongnam hanging on his back, choking his little brother when Yongguk ascended the steps. It was fortunate that their parents weren’t home. Apparently they’d gone to visit their relatives and wouldn’t be home until midnight.

Yongguk had left Himchan sitting on couch, the boy murmuring nonsense and laughing at invisible things.

When he’d tucked Yongnam in bed and turned off the light, he quickly made his way downstairs to find Himchan lying on the floor with his face down.

“For heaven’s sake, Himchan. I’m blaming you for bringing that wine.” He helped Himchan up and opened the front door.

Himchan merely responded to him. The drunk boy only waved a hand at nothing, swaying unsteadily. Yongguk had to keep a tight hold on him so that he wouldn’t fall down to the ground and break his pretty face—Yongguk swore he hadn’t thought about Himchan being beautiful.

Himchan’s house was only next to theirs but Yongguk didn’t trust his friend to walk there by himself in a drunken state. He might fall down into the gutter or walk past his own house and end up reaching the Pacific Ocean. Yongguk wouldn’t take that risk.

Himchan kept on trailing off when Yongguk accidentally let go of him. He would stumble to the ground and turn in circles, confused of the direction he was taking. It was almost laugh worthy but with Yongguk worrying about Yongnam throwing up in their room he couldn’t really lose himself at the sight of Himchan trying to reach for the moon, jumping up and down like a child as he sang the alphabetical song in slurred pronunciation. 

“Himchan, your house is this way.” Yongguk pointed at the road that led to the boy’s house.

“Oh come on, Yongguk. Sing with me.” Himchan faltered in his steps but he managed to compose himself at the last minute, grabbing onto the electric pole. When he realized that Yongguk wasn’t singing along, he pouted and advanced towards his friend with furrowed brows. “Why aren’t you singing? Sing!”

“You’re seriously drunk.” Yongguk shook his head. Himchan attempted to hit Yongguk on the shoulder but since the day Yongguk found out that he was scared of him, he automatically evaded his fist, stepping aside in time but only to cause Himchan to stumble to the ground. “, I’m so sorry.”

Yongguk bent down and yanked Himchan up, sweeping his fringe away to see the drunk boy staring at him with bleary eyes.

“You always do that.” Himchan murmured. Yongguk almost missed the words. “You always avoid me, Yongguk. Don’t you like me?”

Yongguk blinked, froze in his position.

“Do I annoy you? Do you think I’m ugly?”

Drunk Himchan wasn’t playing around. Apparently he’d been pondering over those matters since they met each other. He hadn’t forgotten about Yongguk’s harsh comments about his look. This was certainly a nightmare. Yongguk had not expected for Himchan to blurt those words out in front of him like that.

“No, I don’t hate you, Himchan.” Yongguk tried standing up but Himchan was pulling at his sleeve, forcing him to face him.

He leaned closer to Yongguk, his breath hitting the latter’s lips. Yongguk shuddered at the contact. He couldn’t take his eyes off Himchan though. The boy looked really beautiful under the street light. It was like he was glowing, like he was an angel or some sort.

“Stop avoiding me, Yongguk. It hurts.” Himchan said before he slumped into Yongguk’s arms. This time he passed out for real. Yongguk even shook him to make sure that he wasn’t faking it.

After a moment of trance, Yongguk exhaled in relief and sent Himchan home safely.

That night he had a hard time falling asleep.

Himchan’s words haunted him endlessly.

-

At the age of eighteen, Yongguk and Yongnam became more serious in their studies. It was their last year in high school. Both of them wanted to excel the entrance exam. They spent their time studying at the library with Himchan. The three of them were diligent in studying but their attention span wasn’t that good (excluding Yongguk). It didn’t last long, unfortunately. They could only look down at their notes for an hour before they gave up and started throwing paper planes into each other’s faces.

Yongguk still remembered Himchan’s words two years ago. After the drunken incident, none of them brought it up. Well, Yongguk certainly didn’t want to think of it. Himchan though, he seemed to not remember what happened that night. He acted normally around Yongguk the next day. It was as if nothing happened between them.

It was a relief that Yongguk didn’t have to explain himself to Himchan but he was a bit disappointed that Himchan could forget about it just like that. He couldn’t lie anymore to himself. He admitted that he maybe liked his friend as more than just a friend. It took him a long time to find out that he had a crush on Himchan. It surprised him that he was interested in boys. It wasn’t an easy thing to admit to himself that he was gay. He didn’t even tell Yongnam about it. He figured that it was something he should keep to himself.

Plus, he had a crush on Himchan. He wouldn’t want things to turn awkward when he told Yongnam about it. The three of them had been friends for a long time—childhood friends. His twin would certainly be baffled about it. He might even freak out. Yongguk didn’t even want to imagine how his brother would react to this matter.

But it had been two years now.

He’d managed to keep his feelings to himself this whole time without anyone finding out. Himchan had become more and more attractive that it hurt him to look at the boy. He contemplated on confessing to his friend several times—during the international band competition, while celebrating Himchan’s 17^th birthday and on Christmas day—but he would find himself backing away the last minute.

He couldn’t bring himself to do it because he didn’t know how Himchan felt about him.

What if the boy wasn’t interested in him? He might only like Yongguk as a friend, nothing more than that.

But then Yongguk was thrown back to the moments when he found Himchan acting weird around him. The boy had often times touched him rather fondly when they were alone. He would talk to him with a soft voice and he would smile at Yongguk as if he was the only person who could ever make him happy. Despite Yongguk treating him coldly at certain times, Himchan would always find ways to lift his mood up. He knew how Yongguk was, he knew him like the back of his hand—always.

“Hey, wanna go to the lake?” Yongnam raised a brow at him.

Yongguk blinked out from his thought and looked at his twin. They were outside the school compound, walking their way back home. Himchan had stayed back to tutor a friend for physics.

“Skipping stones?”

When Yongnam nodded, Yongguk grinned at him. Both of them took the narrow road that led them to a lake behind the school. The place was what Yongguk could say where he and Yongnam would spend their leisure time alone, just the two of them, skipping stones and talking about anything in general. They never told Himchan about the place. Yongnam wanted it to be the place where only the two of them could share. Yongguk liked the idea of having a secret place with his twin so he kept mum.

“I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to pass the exam,” Yongnam confessed.

Yongguk bent down and grabbed a flat stone that was hidden among the tall grass. He then stood at the edge of the lake and threw the stone towards the lake. It skipped for two times before it sank down to the bottom of the lake.

“You’re gonna be fine. You just have to struggle a bit with biology though.” Yongguk assured him.

Yongnam let out a frustrated groan at the mention of his least favourite subject.

“You’re good at studying, Yongguk. Share me some of your secrets.”

Yongguk narrowed his eyes at his twin brother and shook his head.

“Nothing, really. Just read the textbook. That’s all.”

Yongnam let out a scoff and shoved at Yongguk before he threw the stone he found under his feet. It only skipped once. It was Yongguk’s turn now. He fiddled with his stone and trained his eyes at the center of the lake. With a flick of his wrist, the stone went further across the water. It skipped for three times. Yongguk celebrated his victory with a fist pump.

“You have to stop devoting too much of your time to your band.” Yongguk finally said.

Yongnam furrowed his eyebrows. He then shifted on his feet and crossed his arms, lips pressed together in deep thought.

“Well that’s quite hard. I love my band. Himchan loves it too.”

Yongguk had no idea why Yongnam would bring up Himchan’s name. It only reminded him of his feelings towards the boy. Yongguk shook his head slightly, willing the thought of Himchan to go away but indeed he failed to do so. He wanted to blame Yongnam for saying his name.

“Speaking of the band, we’re going to perform at this brand new café.” Yongnam said with a wide smile on his lips. “Cool huh?”

Yongguk nodded as he picked up the flattest stone he could find. He made his way around the lake until he was facing Yongnam from across the water.

Himchan’s face still hadn’t left his mind.

He figured that this was a sign. He should confess to his friend before exam start just so he could get it over with. He didn’t want to stress over two things at a time. He raised his hand that was holding the stone and moved his legs further apart from each other, ready to throw it onto the surface of the water.

If he managed to make the stone skip for five times, he would confess to Himchan.

He’d made his decision. No backing away like a coward anymore.

“I have something to tell you.” Yongnam started.

Yongguk squinted at the lake, biting on his lower lip as he centered his focus on the stone between his fingers. He then threw it with a précised flick of his wrist. It hit the surface of the water and started skipping.

One, two, three, four…five!

“I think I like Himchan.”

The stone plopped down into the water. Yongguk didn’t celebrate. He merely stood there with his lips parted at the realization that his brother had confessed about having feelings for their best friend, his crush, Kim Himchan.

“Don’t give me that look, Yongguk.” Yongnam smiled sheepishly, scratching at his head. “I know I should’ve told you a long time ago but I was hesitant, okay? I’m not sure about my feelings.”

Yongguk stared at his twin who was standing before him across the lake. He only stared. He didn’t know what to say. This was unexpected. Really, he did not see this coming. He couldn’t decide whether he should feel hurt or angry.

Yongnam liked Himchan?

Where did that come from? Since when? How? Why?

The questions buzzed into his head like a swarm of bees.

“H-how?” Yongguk shook his head and rephrased his question. He kept on stammering. “W-when did this happen—I mean, how—you—Himchan—what?”

Yongnam chuckled in response, amused of his twin’s reaction but Yongguk felt like punching the smile off his face.

He wasn’t supposed to be in love with Himchan.

“You know we always stay back to practice right?” Yongnam shrugged, sitting down on the grass, not caring that he was going to get dirt on his trousers. Yongguk stayed where he was, refusing to join his brother. “I had a lot of moments with Himchan. We both love music and we harmonize with each other.”

Yongguk wanted to throw up. It was unbelievable. Yongnam never told him that he was interested in boys. No, he didn’t. He wasn’t supposed to like Himchan. Yongguk was the one for Himchan.

“One day we both decided to practice on our guitar and keyboard and then the school out— you know Himchan hated the dark right? Well he kinda threw himself at me and I held him in my arms. I could feel him trembling and at that moment I have this sudden clarity where I just wanna keep him in my embrace. I feel like I should protect him from the dark.” Yongnam chuckled once again. It irked Yongguk. His eyes twitched at the sight of his brother smiling at the memory. “We stayed like that for the longest time I could remember. He even fell asleep. Yeah…so that’s how I know that I, well, like Himchan.”

Yongnam looked up at Yongguk when the latter walked up to him, eyeing him mutely. He raised his brows at him, oblivious to the chaotic turmoil his little brother was going through in his head.

“So? Do you mind giving me a boost, Yongguk? I feel like I should confess to him before the entrance exam.”

Yongguk couldn’t bring himself to be angry at his twin brother.

The anger dissipated just like that. He found himself forcing a smile at Yongnam instead. He even nodded in reply.

“Sure, what are brothers for?”

Yongguk would always be his brother’s shadow. He had always been the sidekick. His brother was the real deal. Yongnam was the Batman and Yongguk was the Robin. Yongnam was Holmes and Yongguk was Watson. Yongnam was the main character and Yongguk, the side character. 

A shadow.

He was merely a shadow.

-

Himchan’s eyes widened at the confession he received from Yongnam.

He dropped everything he was carrying in his hands, the textbooks hitting the floor with a loud thud and his pens and pencils rolling under the desks.

Yongguk stood at the doorway of their classroom, hands in the pockets of his trousers as he watched Yongnam blush at the confession he made. Himchan was gawking at his twin, his cheeks turning red. It was funny how none of them could seem to speak. Yongguk cluck his tongue in disapproval, earning Yongnam’s attention. His brother furrowed his eyebrows in worry, pleading for Yongguk to do something, anything that could get rid of this awkward situation.

“You heard him,” Yongguk cleared his throat and glanced at Himchan. He couldn’t look at him for too long. It hurt. It pained him to see Himchan blushing, flustering, and turning speechless for someone else. “Yongnam likes you, Himchan.”

Himchan stared at Yongguk. His sharp eyes were carrying something in them but Yongguk couldn’t see clearly behind those spectacles. Himchan took it off immediately, as if he’d read Yongguk’s mind but he didn’t face Yongguk this time. Instead he turned to Yongnam and approached him shyly.

“You, um, like me?”

“Yeah,” Yongnam nodded right away. He then face palmed himself and groaned, embarrassed at himself. “God, I don’t know how to do this.” He composed himself and shook his head, muttering something under his breath before he stared right into Himchan’s eyes. “Himchan, would you go out with me?”

Himchan smiled at Yongnam and Yongguk’s heart broke into pieces.

Those bunny teeth appeared when Himchan laughed.

Yongguk hated it. He hated that Himchan looked beautiful smiling with his front teeth showing.

AN:

I told you guys before that it was supposed to be a oneshot and I am really tempted to end it here but then it would lack closure. There will be more chapters coming so do anticipate. 

This is like the longest chapter I've ever written in my life. Omg. I hope you enjoyed reading them instead of dreading over the spamming of words. I tried dividing the story according to the phase of their lives so this long chapter happened in return. OTZ