Dear Uri saranghaneun eomma,

Eomma, Next time, don’t push me any harder, okay? Stop saying I can do this, because I can’t. I really can’t. It’s not that I don’t like your way of showing attention to me, but I just need to rest. For a bit. Just… for a bit, okay? I love every single thing you’ve ever give to me. I don’t know what will you do if you know about my decision. But don’t worry, I will just… gone, not forever, Just a bit. I promise you, It will be just like closing your eyes, feeling the wind pass your side, and when you open your eyes… I will be right by your side.

Dear Appa,

Appa. I won’t hold it in anymore this time. I’m sorry for this, but I can’t wait any longer. Appa, I feel… very lonely. Can you please just this time. Promise me. Don’t hold me back. I’m so sorry for breaking our promise but please, just let me stay right where I belong to. I’m not telling this to them, I promise. They will not know a single thing about this. Appa, I’m sorry… But I don’t think I will be right by your side.

Dear, The one and only Soo jung,

Chingu! How’s your day? It must be very tiring… Hymne my dear friend! Because now, one of your job had finally over. You don’t have to fight for me anymore. All the things they said are true anyway. Now… I will not disturb you anymore. I will not make bruises on your face. I will not make you got scolded by the entertainment. I will… Try to go. Thank you so much for this makeover you’ve given to me. But I don’t think I can follow you anymore. I’m sorry. From this moment, you might can’t see me anymore. But it’s okay. I’m ok soojungah. I’m not feeling scared, I’m not even trembling. Because I know, you will be right by my side.

Dear, You.

I don’t know what should I call you. Friend? But we’re not friends. Enemy? You’re not my enemy. Stranger? Hmm… but we’ve known each other… Well I will just call you, you. You must know where I am right now. I don’t have a single doubt about that. But anyway, I will leave this to you. This letter I’m writing, with tears in my eyes, with trembling hands, with bleeding lips, and messy hair. This letter is yours now. Dear you, don’t be mad at me for trying to erase you. But I can’t hold it anymore. At least not this time. I can’t promise you that I will be right by your side. Because I know that you can’t promise me you’ll be right by my side. I guess this is the end… I will leave my fate in your hands. If I really. No. If you really are staying with me. I won’t see them. If you don’t stay with me. I won’t see you. Goodbye. You, who I cannot reach.

She sobbed hard on her knees. Looking around that dark building. Searching for what she thought… was him. She doesn’t care anymore even if all her hopes are broken. Because she know, she won’t ever reach any of it. Her sobs got louder as she reach the highest part of it. The moonlight shone brightly, too bright that it hides the stars. But she kept on running. Not knowing the end of this. Her sobs turned into scream of agony, as she felt shivers all over her body. She closed her eyes as she felt herself getting nearer to the end. Her hands reached her ears, trying to mute everything around her.

“STOP IT! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. Falling on her knees, as the snow covered her legs. “I’M NOT BUYING HIM! I’M NOT MUTE! YOU ALL JUST DEAF!” She screamed. She doesn’t care anymore if she’ll die in here. She’s dying anyway. “YOU DON’T KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT ME! STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU KNOW! YOU ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND!” She cried out. So hard that she was now lying on the cold cement. “At least, she know about me. At least he know about me. I know about him! But you don’t” She closed her eyes. Feeling winter all over the place. Coldness of white. How she missed the warmness of Brown. She came to the point where all she can see is him. She laughed sarcastically. “Dear you, if you’re really here. Take this, It will kill you. But it will save me. I’m sorry for this but… Happily ever after is not on my story.” She closed her eyes. Whishing that would be the last time she spoke. Hoping that would be the last chapter of her life.