march xx
heartbreak diarysehun's pov :)
february xiv / 8:46am
Today was Valentine's Day. I went to Seoul to see my boyfriend. It's been almost a year since he moved to the city for his job. I should have minded but I didn't, basically because Seoul is just an hour drive away from our hometown. No big deal. Though I'm not gonna lie, our time together significantly lessened. But that's fine because we still talk through the phone and send each other text messages. You know, the usual stuff. Also, our Saturdays are for each other. It's either I go to Seoul or he drives to Incheon just so we could spend time together. A hassle, some may think, but it's not as bad as it seems once you get the hang of it.
He took me to a fancy Italian restaurant. Blegh. I told him not to but the man was too pushy. Said it was a special day so I let him be. I didn't want to ruin our day. We talked about work, how his boss gave him a reasonable deadline for his articles and how I've been getting more and more students for my dance classes. Students which he accused of having a crush on me. I hit him on the arm because hello those are ten year olds!
I briefly mentioned Minseok, my best friend who's been cooping up inside his house. He rarely goes out and I couldn't quite figure out why. He wouldn't tell me either. Luhan said I should just let him be. He'll come out of his shell in his own free will.
I spent the night at his rented apartment. It wasn't anything huge, but it was cozy and it fit us both. It's probably the occasion but we were both a little more passionate in lovemaking than the usual. Heh. I think I tired him out because it's almost nine in the morning and he's still snoring his off. Speaking of asses, I gotta move mine out of the bed and make us breakfast before he wakes up. And before he sees my journal. I swear he's going to laugh at me fo a good month for owning a diary and then read all my entries. He can be a douche at times, you know. But I love that douche.
february xxi / 2:15am
It was Luhan's turn to visit. He came over last night and we ate out then drank some beer. He wasn't in his best condition as he was stressed out from work. I felt bad. Even if I wanted to, I knew I wouldn't be able to help. Well, I'd be here for moral support but as if that would lessen his stress. Sometimes, life is just too sad.
On a slightly brighter note, his colleague, a guy named Jongdae, has been looking for his soulmate. I didn't know why but I immediately thought of Minseok. Maybe they'd get along well. And who knows, they might be each other's soulmates. Before I got so deep into my plan, I did ask Luhan if his colleague is on the same side of the court as us. I only got a shrug in response. Ugh. I suppose silence means yes?
march vi / 7:08pm
I got a call from the boyfriend saying Minseok has safely arrived to Seoul. I was supposed to accompany him but it's a Friday and I had work. Luhan's company building had a problem with the plumbing so everyone had to take a day off so they could fix t. He said he would call again after he drops my friend off to his and Jongdae's meeting place. Before we hung up, he told me he loved me and I said it back. I really love him.
march x / 9:26pm
Minseok is a little strange? I mean, he's always been strange but now he's been even more strange? When I asked him about his date with Jongdae he only said that it didn't happen because the guy is straight. And he kept quiet after that. I didn't pry further. Although there are many questions in my head, I let him have his peace because he just got ditched. I tried calling Luhan that night like the usual but he didn't pick up. Several calls later, there was still no luck.
I wonder if he's doing fine.
march xiv / 10:01pm
Despite being busy for my students' upcoming recital, I still managed to find time for our Saturdate. I shouldn't have bothered though, because Luhan wasn't able to make it. It's fine. I understand. He has a deadline to beat and a boss to please.
But frankly, it was a bummer. I went to the dance studio instead and helped the students rehearse. Oh, I saw Minseok on my way home. He was in a coffee shop. He was smiling, happily conversing with the man he was with. I couldn't see his face though cos his back was facing the window. I don't know who the man is but one thing's for sure, he has a boyfriend and he didn't even tell me about it. To think we are best friends. How depressing. But hey, at least he's happy, right?
march xviiii / 11:33pm
I received a letter from Luhan.
(sehunah, you're probably weirded out right now. this is, what, the third time i've written you a letter? it's not going to be long, i promise. you see, i haven't been exactly honest to you. i tried to tell you so many times but i always find myself chickening out. but then again, sending you this letter makes me even more of a coward because i can't even do it personally. okay, i'll cut to the chase. remember when minseok came to seoul? jongdae ditched him because it was only that day when he said that he doesn't swing that way. all this time he thought minseok was a girl. i felt so horrible for minseok so i took the liberty to show him around the city. we went places. it was fun. that time with him, i forgot that i have a boyfriend. we met a couple more times after that.
sehun, you are so so wonderful, but so is minseok. he is so fragile and closed off to the world that there is this urge to protect him and make him see the beauty of the world. in the years we've been dating, i know you can take care of yourself well. minseok cannot. and i want to be the one to take care of him. to make him smile, to make him happy. that day when i told you i had a deadline, i was out with minseok. i'm sorry, sehunah. i'm so sory i'm an . i'm sorry i'm not brave enough. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry i found someone else. i loved you, i really did. but i do know that minseok needs me more than you do. you are strong. i cannot stress enough how sorry i am, but i really am. please be happy. and the next time you see me on the streets, feel free to throw a punch or two to my face. or a lot.
thank you.
love,
luhan)
march xx / 7:01am
He left me.
Today was Valentine's Day. I went to Seoul to see my boyfriend. It's been almost a year since he moved to the city for his job. I should have minded but I didn't, basically because Seoul is just an hour drive away from our hometown. No big deal. Though I'm not gonna lie, our time together significantly lessened. But that's fine because we still talk through the phone and send each other text messages. You know, the usual stuff. Also, our Saturdays are for each other. It's either I go to Seoul or he drives to Incheon just so we could spend time together. A hassle, some may think, but it's not as bad as it seems once you get the hang of it.
He took me to a fancy Italian restaurant. Blegh. I told him not to but the man was too pushy. Said it was a special day so I let him be. I didn't want to ruin our day. We talked about work, how his boss gave him a reasonable deadline for his articles and how I've been getting more and more students for my dance classes. Students which he accused of having a crush on me. I hit him on the arm because hello those are ten year olds!
I briefly mentioned Minseok, my best friend who's been cooping up inside his house. He rarely goes out and I couldn't quite figure out why. He wouldn't tell me either. Luhan said I should just let him be. He'll come out of his shell in his own free will.
I spent the night at his rented apartment. It wasn't anything huge, but it was cozy and it fit us both. It's probably the occasion but we were both a little more passionate in lovemaking than the usual. Heh. I think I tired him out because it's almost nine in the morning and he's still snoring his off. Speaking of asses, I gotta move mine out of the bed and make us breakfast before he wakes up. And before he sees my journal. I swear he's going to laugh at me fo a good month for owning a diary and then read all my entries. He can be a douche at times, you know. But I love that douche.
february xxi / 2:15am
It was Luhan's turn to visit. He came over last night and we ate out then drank some beer. He wasn't in his best condition as he was stressed out from work. I felt bad. Even if I wanted to, I knew I wouldn't be able to help. Well, I'd be here for moral support but as if that would lessen his stress. Sometimes, life is just too sad.
On a slightly brighter note, his colleague, a guy named Jongdae, has been looking for his soulmate. I didn't know why but I immediately thought of Minseok. Maybe they'd get along well. And who knows, they might be each other's soulmates. Before I got so deep into my plan, I did ask Luhan if his colleague is on the same side of the court as us. I only got a shrug in response. Ugh. I suppose silence means yes?
march vi / 7:08pm
I got a call from the boyfriend saying Minseok has safely arrived to Seoul. I was supposed to accompany him but it's a Friday and I had work. Luhan's company building had a problem with the plumbing so everyone had to take a day off so they could fix t. He said he would call again after he drops my friend off to his and Jongdae's meeting place. Before we hung up, he told me he loved me and I said it back. I really love him.
march x / 9:26pm
Minseok is a little strange? I mean, he's always been strange but now he's been even more strange? When I asked him about his date with Jongdae he only said that it didn't happen because the guy is straight. And he kept quiet after that. I didn't pry further. Although there are many questions in my head, I let him have his peace because he just got ditched. I tried calling Luhan that night like the usual but he didn't pick up. Several calls later, there was still no luck.
I wonder if he's doing fine.
march xiv / 10:01pm
Despite being busy for my students' upcoming recital, I still managed to find time for our Saturdate. I shouldn't have bothered though, because Luhan wasn't able to make it. It's fine. I understand. He has a deadline to beat and a boss to please.
But frankly, it was a bummer. I went to the dance studio instead and helped the students rehearse. Oh, I saw Minseok on my way home. He was in a coffee shop. He was smiling, happily conversing with the man he was with. I couldn't see his face though cos his back was facing the window. I don't know who the man is but one thing's for sure, he has a boyfriend and he didn't even tell me about it. To think we are best friends. How depressing. But hey, at least he's happy, right?
march xviiii / 11:33pm
I received a letter from Luhan.
(sehunah, you're probably weirded out right now. this is, what, the third time i've written you a letter? it's not going to be long, i promise. you see, i haven't been exactly honest to you. i tried to tell you so many times but i always find myself chickening out. but then again, sending you this letter makes me even more of a coward because i can't even do it personally. okay, i'll cut to the chase. remember when minseok came to seoul? jongdae ditched him because it was only that day when he said that he doesn't swing that way. all this time he thought minseok was a girl. i felt so horrible for minseok so i took the liberty to show him around the city. we went places. it was fun. that time with him, i forgot that i have a boyfriend. we met a couple more times after that.
sehun, you are so so wonderful, but so is minseok. he is so fragile and closed off to the world that there is this urge to protect him and make him see the beauty of the world. in the years we've been dating, i know you can take care of yourself well. minseok cannot. and i want to be the one to take care of him. to make him smile, to make him happy. that day when i told you i had a deadline, i was out with minseok. i'm sorry, sehunah. i'm so sory i'm an . i'm sorry i'm not brave enough. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry i found someone else. i loved you, i really did. but i do know that minseok needs me more than you do. you are strong. i cannot stress enough how sorry i am, but i really am. please be happy. and the next time you see me on the streets, feel free to throw a punch or two to my face. or a lot.
thank you.
love,
luhan)
march xx / 7:01am
He left me.
x
inspired by a few things. i hope it was fine. originally a xiuhan but come on im deprived as it is. i dont want to break them up here as well. i legit didnt know who else to partner up with luhan so i went for the canon. thoughts? :)
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