Yixing’s just finished filming for “Go Fighting”, and it’s strange but somewhat comforting. He doesn’t have to remember the formalities of Korean, or try to get rid of his Chinese accent. It’s nice, speaking with Hong Lei senior and Huang Bo senior; they’re both funny and welcoming, taking him under their wings because he’s the youngest. The first episode is set to air in a couple weeks, and they’ve just finished filming the second one.

But something is bothering him.

He should be happy. He has an esteemed position in a great Chinese variety show, he’s in one of the top boy bands in Korea (although Yixing will never admit that out loud), he has fans and he leaves good impressions. And yet this little feeling, this little string tugging at his hand is pulling him away, and it’s driving him crazy.

Yixing likes trust. He believes that trust is the key. As long as people one another and believe in one another and know that they won’t leave, the world is a good place.

He teamed up with Hong Lei Ge because he didn’t get to find a key, and the two of them drove in a nice car all the way to the center of the city to complete the next mission, stopping at a KFC. Money came from street-going fans in disguise, they bought food and Yixing went to the bathroom.

He trusted him. Hong Lei ge left.

And he was betrayed.

And then the happy-go-lucky mask he had always worn slipped off, his real emotions came through, and he ing cried. On camera. And he doesn’t even know what he was thinking. He cried on a subway car and tried to pull sympathy from all of the old ladies and he just couldn’t get ahold of himself because he trusted and he was betrayed, just like that.

Yixing knows he shouldn’t have cried. It wasn’t a big deal. Losing his “gold” bars was okay. He was okay, he was fine, he didn’t need to cry and he didn’t need to spill how he felt, he didn’t need to voice out his thoughts. But he did.

Because why? Why was it such a big deal to him?

He knows the answer.

And now he justs want to cry again.

Why does he have to reassure everyone he won’t leave?

Why does he have to reassure everyone that he’s loyal?

Why does everyone have to be reassured?

Why does he have to reassure himself?

And why did they reassure him when they knew?

He trusted them. And they betrayed him.

There’s a tear rolling down his cheek. It falls onto the bed. He’s just angry. Kris didn’t betray him. Luhan didn’t. Tao didn’t.

Yixing just trusts too much.

He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and falls onto the mattress. The blanket is tucked tightly underneath him, and he awkwardly lifts it up. Yixing shimmies out of his pants and tugs the fabric against his chest.

When he looks up he notices that the ceiling is an awful shade of yellow, it’s sickening and bright, like that little doll Sehun loves so much. He turns away and looks at the nightstand instead.

His phone rings. Once. Twice. Three times.

He groans and reaches his hand over, and lifts his phone up as the screen flashes. It’s Luhan. He presses the green button without a second thought.

“Hey.”

Yixing clears his throat, afraid of it sounding scratchy and unsure. He needs to sound casual.

“Hey, Luhan ge. What’s up?”

“I heard you were in China for some filming. Do you wanna meet up?”

“Sure. There’s a good restaurant down the block. We can eat there.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you in half an hour.”

The line goes dead, and Yixing scrambles to get dressed. He tells his manager and in twenty minutes, he’s already at the place, wearing a snapback and sunglasses, the classic idol disguise. Luhan arrives five minutes later. His hair is black now, and Yixing likes it a lot better than the blonde.

They order a lot of food for two people. A giant bowl of traditional Beijing style black bean noodle, mapo tofu, fried nian gao, sliced pork and some other little things.

“So,” Luhan says, mouth full of rice and vegetables, “how’s life been?”

“Tiring. We’re gearing up for the comeback with the repackage song, so it’s really hectic.”

“Oh, I heard about the new song! It was in the news.” Luhan’s mouth is still full of rice.

“Yeah. What about you?”

Luhan’s eyes light up. “Well, I’m filming with Yangmi jie jie for the movie. And I learned how to rollerskate? Honestly, it was such an embarrassing experience. I kept falling.”

Yixing laughs, and the dimples at the corner of his mouth show up. “I can imagine that. Luhan, the prince of China, falling on his royal .”

Luhan is not amused. “You try rollerskating. I bet you’d fall on your so many times. And I would be there right next to you, recording the entire thing.”

“Yeah, right. Maybe I will go rollerskating one day. If there’s time.”

“I’ll go with you. So I can help you out. And record you like I said.”

The little desserts come eventually after much playful banter. They play games for different pieces, and it feels like Luhan and him are not idols; they’re just two young guys trying to make life fun.

And maybe that’s what they need. Just some time to become normal, to lift burden off their shoulders. Yixing knows that Luhan didn’t mean to leave him, that he didn’t intend to bring their friendship up only for it to be broken off. The two of them are reconnecting their bridges, reconstructing how they think and feel one another.

It’s enough for him.

Soon it’s too late to be out, so their managers usher them out the door.

“Yixing!” Luhan yells as opens the door, “Next time when you’re in China, call me! I don’t want to hear about it from the television!”

He smiles and adds a little smiley face emoji next to Luhan’s name in his contact list.

It’s the start for a better beginning.

A/N: I may add more to this, but for now it ends here. Thanks for reading!

Ying~