fourty

Bittersweet nightmares

 

 

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, Jungkook pressing his nails into his palms as hard as he could, hiding his hands under the table. His father was the first to speak, and he - in his usual fashion - went straight for the jugular. “Jinho said you refused to come home.” he said, giving him a look that was part worry and part disapproval. Jungkook doubted there was anything remotely sincere about it. Actually, he would go as far as to say that most emotion showing on the King’s face during this conversation would be fake, nothing but a helpful tool designed to manipulate Jungkook. “You know you would be safer at the Palace.” His father was now speaking to him in the same way one spoke to a frightened animal, trying to calm it down, and Jungkook didn’t appreciate the implication that he was being unreasonable. 

He knew he would be safer at the Palace (from Kangmin at least, his father was an entirely different story). There was no denying it, especially not after Violet, but admitting it aloud would be the same as agreeing to come home. “The palace is most likely filled with Kangmin’s spies.” he said, keeping his voice as calm as he could. At times like this he truly wished he possessed Yoongi’s gift for hiding his emotions - it would have come in handy when dealing with the King, that was for sure. 

His father let out a soft sigh. “I can’t say that it isn’t.” he allowed. It was something they were both well aware of, seeing as Kangmin couldn’t have managed to escape his jail if he hadn’t had contacts at the Palace, some of which were likely close to the King. It would still be harder to get to Jungkook there than at the academy though; the security at court was better, especially in and around the royals’ living quarters, and he would be spending a lot of time around Jimin and his father who were surrounded by higher demons at all times. If someone was still stupid enough to try hurting him, it would be easier to figure out who they were. Which he assumed was his father’s real motivation for forcing him to come home; nothing beat a nice old fashioned bait when it came to eliminating traitors. “But it’s still safer than the academy. If nothing else; Jihno and I are there.” 

“Sure.” muttered Jungkook. “But that doesn’t mean the academy is unsafe.” It was the only thing he could think of to say, and based on his past experience, also a total lie. He had no choice but to say it anyway though. His father was aware he was smart enough to know that the Palace was safer for him (even if he didn't admit it aloud), which meant claiming anything else was a bad idea. 

Jungkook had to balance between appearing smart but not too smart when dealing with the King, and it required constant effort. He didn’t know if it was actually working - the king might have already seen right through him and figured out how well aware Jungkook was of what a manipulative bastard the King was. He hoped not though, because that would mean he would lose the only weapon he had against his father. 

The King wanted to be seen as a good father. 

Jungkook wasn’t sure why, though he had a few guesses (how accurate, he didn’t know). He suspected part of it was to keep a good reputation in the eyes of the citizens and part of it due to Jimin, because if the King was actually capable of caring about any of his children, that was who he cared about. He’d actually loved Jimin's mother, while the marriage between him and Jungkook’s, Iseol’s and Kangmin’s mother was nothing more than a political arrangement, and they had - according to just about everyone, really - hated each other’s guts. Besides, Jimin was illegitimate, which essentially meant there had been no pressure for him to perform well and his failure hadn’t reflected negatively on the King. It wasn’t the case anymore  of course, but it had been for most of Jimin’s life.

No matter what the reason was though, there was no doubt that the King wanted to be seen as a good father, and that was Jungkook’s one and only defense against him. He could sway his father by questioning his parenting abilities, but it was much easier to do it when the King didn’t know Jungkook was trying to manipulate him as well. As long as he wasn’t aware of it, the King would try to convince Jungkook that what he was doing was for his own good. If he realized what Jungkook was doing, then that part would no longer interest him and he’d be more focused on making sure other people (mainly Jimin) saw his actions as good. It would make Jungkook’s job more difficult, and it was already difficult enough so he really didn’t want that. 

His father sighed. “Look,” he said. His voice was soft and patient, and that by itself was enough for Jungkook to know that he wasn’t going to like what he had to say. Then again, did he ever like anything the King had to say anyway? “If you don’t come home out of your own volition, I’ll have to stop paying your tuition. I’d rather have you alive and angry at me than dead.” 

Which yeah, that was the most obvious move in the book. Jungkook was more than aware his father would try to pull it at some point, and he couldn’t deny it was part of the reason Jungkook tried so hard to get good grades. It meant he could counter his father’s threat with; “Then I’ll apply for a scholarship.” Yes, there would be a lot of paperwork and he’d probably have to prove there was a change in his financial status, but it could be done. Jimin would most likely help him with it if he asked nicely, and he was quite sure the administration would overlook some things to keep him. It was unpleasant, but he wasn’t too worried about it. He knew that the King wasn’t going to involve himself in the process. Even if he didn’t give a direct order to the administration, any requests from the government would be seen as suspicious, and you could say a lot about his father, but he wouldn’t purposely endanger him like that (mostly so he could continue his pretense at being a loving father, but those were unimportant details). 

The King blinked. He got his facial expression under control almost immediately, but it was still clear he didn’t expect this. Or at least he pretended not to. “And you’ll get it?” he wondered. 

“Yes.”

A beat of silence, and then; “I see.”

Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back while slightly narrowing his eyes at him. He couldn’t decide if he bought his suprise or not, and he needed to know badly enough to risk digging a bit deeper. It was a matter of how close of an eye the King kept on him, after all. “I don’t know why you’re surprised. Weren’t you spying on me?” he asked, keeping his voice disinterested. 

His father let out a tired sigh. “No.” he said. “You told me to mind my own business. I respected your wishes.”

“Right.” Yeah, he still wasn’t 100% sure, but he believed that the King not spying on him was at least a possibility now. Getting caught in a lie wouldn’t be ideal for him, and Jungkook didn’t think he cared about his grades and other academic achievements and non-achievements enough to risk it. 

His father leaned back on his chair, his hands still clasped in front of him. “Looks like my only choice to get you home is to literally abduct you.” he said, a small, barely noticeable smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jungkook tried his absolute best to not appear relieved at his words. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t go that far. Thank god the King didn’t know about Violet. If he did, Jungkook would truly be beyond saving. 

“I won’t go that far unless your life is directly endangered.” decided the King after a beat of silence. “I’ll strengthen the academy’s security, and you have to promise me you won’t leave the premises.” He raised his eyebrows at him, and Jungkook immediately nodded. It wasn’t like the demons would let him go out anyway. “But if there’s as much as an inkling that Kangmin or any of his people managed to put a single foot on campus, you’re coming home.”

Jungkook didn’t want to agree to that, but he didn’t exactly have a choice. “Okay.” he muttered. The King nodded, and for a second or two, they stared at each other in silence. Jungkook won this one, but he wasn’t naive enough to think it was over - his father looked like he had more to discuss. 

“I think we should change your guard.” the King said, his eyes traveling over to Yoongi, who didn’t react in any way, looking at the wall with a perfectly expressionless face. Jungkook barely managed to hold back a wince, and he found that making sure his muscles stayed relaxed was even harder. His heartbeat sped up and his breath caught in his throat, panic washing over him. He pushed his hands in his pockets and dug his nails into the skin on his palms, the pain helping to ground him. The butterfly’s wings brushed against his fingers, and he wasn’t sure why, but it helped as well. He took a deep breath and reminded himself how imperative it was that he stayed calm.

If his father managed to get his way and replace Yoongi with someone else, Jungkook was screwed. There was no other way to say it. The only reason the King would do it in the first place was to spy on him. Yoongi was under his Orders as well, yes, but Jungkook had been there when they had been given, so he knew what was and what was not included in them. It had taken effort on both his and Jimin’s part to ensure he had been allowed to be there at all, and that wasn’t going to happen the second time. Actually, he was quite sure the new demon had already received his Orders and the King would claim there was no need to repeat the process, possibly even giving him a written (and all around inaccurate) version of the Orders to appease him. So yes, if he let it happen, Jungkook was screwed. He had one more higher demon than he should have with him, and there was another one trapped in a jar. There was no way to explain that without outing himself as a criminal and admitting Kangmin had already managed to get inside the academy in the same breath. None. 

“Why?” he asked, doing his best to keep his voice calm and nonchalant. 

“I’m not sure this one is doing his job.” said the King. 

Jungkook raised his eyebrows. “He protected me from the Kangmin’s demon. He’s doing his job.” he said firmly. “That isn’t the real reason, isn’t it?”

The King slightly tilted his head. “And what do you think the real reason is?” he asked carefully. 

“I think you want to include ‘close monitoring and reporting back’ in the Orders.”  

The King’s eyebrows lifted, and he sighed, his eyes somewhat softening. “Eunjae, I have no intentions to spy on you.” he said. “I’m just worried. Kangmin already attacked you once, and we both know he’s unlikely to stop until he gets what he wants.” 

“And we both know what that is.” said Jungkook. He still had no idea what Kangmin wanted with him, no, but his end goal had been pretty obvious from the very beginning - he wanted to be a king so badly he’d killed his own sister for it. “I’m probably just a decoy.” he added with more conviction than he actually felt. That could be true, but there were other - worse - options as well, and he couldn’t be sure with the meager information he had.  

“Fair enough.” agreed the King after a beat of silence. “But even if you’re right, you’re not in any less danger.” 

Jungkook leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. That was something he couldn’t deny, unfortunately. “Sure.” he agreed. “But I don’t see how changing my guard is going to help with that. At least we know this one can protect me.”

The King didn’t react at first, staring at him in silence. Jungkook could practically see the wheels in his head turning, and the more time passed, the more sure he was his father wasn’t going to argue further. There was no feasible reason to replace Yoongi, and Jungkook had let him know that doing it without one would seem like an attempt to spy on him pretty clearly. After what was probably at least a minute, the king sighed in defeat, leaning back on his chair. “Alright.” he said. “You have a point. No changing the guard.” 

Jungkook did his best to force back a sigh of relief. All of this was not good for his heart, but they should be done now. Hopefully. Right?

“I heard you wanted access to the Magicians’ registry?” asked the King after a moment, giving him a somewhat curious look. Or not. “Why?”

Yeah, Jungkook had no answers for him. None. He hadn’t expected to be asked that - although in hindsight he probably should have - so he hadn’t prepared an excuse, and he couldn’t think of a reasonable explanation on the spot. After what was probably at least half an hour of his father attempting to talk him into a corner, his concentration was more or less gone. He probably wasn’t going to get the access now, and while he was disappointed, he couldn’t find it in himself to be too bothered by it. Not when his father had a) almost forced him to come home, and then b) almost replaced Yoongi with another demon - really, as long as he didn’t try to do any of those things again, Jungkook was good. 

To his surprise, the King responded to his prolonged silence by producing an USB key out of his pocket, leaning over the table to offer it to him. “Here.” he said.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment before he reached for it, giving it a suspicious look. “Really?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at his father.  

“Our investigation hit a dead end. You might as well help if you have an idea how.” explained the King, calmly meeting Jungkook’s gaze.  

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed further. His father didn’t do things out of the goodness of his heart. He was going to demand something in exchange, although he probably wasn’t going to do it now. No, it would be just like him to do it after Jungkook got what he needed from the registry, and could therefore no longer get out of it by refusing to take the USB key. There was no way Jungkook was going to let that happen. “For what price?” he asked dryly.

The King raised his eyebrows. “Why do you think I have one?” he wondered. Jungkook gave him what he hoped was an unimpressed look, and for a moment or two, they stared at each other in silence. Then his father sighed. “You’re coming home for the summer vacations.” he said, his voice not allowing any protest. 

Jungkook gritted his teeth, looking down at the USB key and trying to decide if it was worth it. On one hand, the Magician’s registry would be a great help at finding the people who worked for Kangmin - it was a comprehensive list of magicians, and it included the information on their past and families. On the other hand, living at the Palace for two months would be absolute and utter hell. He could make it a little less of a hell if he managed to get his ‘lower and medium demons make me sick’ problem out of the way by then, yes, but it would still be awful - just less so. He would have to deal with his father on the daily. It was just two month though…  Still a high price to pay for the access to the registry, but he supposed he could do it. He took a deep breath. “Fine.” he  muttered.  

“And we’re going to have an actual conversation about…” continued his father. 

Jungkook immediately cut him off. “There’s nothing to talk about.” Even though he tried to keep calm, his voice broke in the middle. Great. There was no doubt in his mind that his father’s words were a code for; ‘We’re going to have a long and painful conversation about everything that Kangmin had done to you and about me accusing you of Iseol’s death. Then I’m going to say your issues are so severe that you need a therapist. I’m choosing which one you’re going to see of course, and it’s going to be one who will have no problems breaking doctor patient confidentiality. It’s going to be a great help at finding a way to control you.’ 

“Eunjae…” the King sighed. “I’m trying.”

“You can stop. The only thing I want from you is to leave me alone.” snapped Jungkook. He had to do his evaluation of whether the access to the registry was worth it again, and he ended up coming to the same conclusion. The price was insanely high, but... Kangmin was a bigger problem for him right now than the King, and he’d have half a year to prepare himself for the mental torture his father was undoubtedly planning to put him through. He could do it. Probably. “Fine.” he said. “I’ll come to the palace.” 

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ArmySlays
#1
Darknessandfire I hope you're doing well. This story is one of my favorites and I always come back to it. I've reread it at least five times by now and I love discovering little things that I missed in chapters the first time. The plot, characters and their interactions are on point. I'm wondering if this story is maybe discontinued or you're taking hiatus? Nevertheless thank you for writing this amazing story and I wish you all the best. 💜
ArmyCaratExoL
#2
Chapter 48: a date in a panic room, how lovely^^ all these Kims being implicated with the ... I do hope Seokjin isn´t :(
Obama27 #3
Chapter 46: Oooooohh, things are spicing up a bit over here, both with taekook and the search. The plot keeps thickening but for the better. There's so many pleasant twists and turns in the story which keep me at the edge of my seat as I keep reading. Trust me, I never get tired of this mastapiece and only log on this site to exclusively read this.

I read five of the recent chapters all in one go cuz I was saving it like that last piece of chocolate you save for that perfect day. I am shooketh at the progress of taekook, like yes finally, it took Kookie some time but he finally figured it all out, albeit with a nudge from Yoongi, but he gots it nonetheless. I love their dynamic and the way V always tries to lowkey comfort and take care of Kookie. I ship it and I love it. I hope to read a lot of their dynamic in the future chapters and I can't wait for your next update!

Thank you author-nim!!! ^3^ <3
ArmySlays
#4
Chapter 46: I'm so glad they are moving forward with their investigation. I hope they catch that red head soon. And I love taekook interactions, it's so cute. Tae's initiating a lot of skinship lately and Jungkook's reactions are the best. He's slowly getting used to their relationship. Thank you so much for updating, I really love this story.💜
celestemoon #5
Chapter 45: I love this story so much!!!
ArmyCaratExoL
#6
Chapter 44: Ooooh, when Tae gets his hands on Kangmin things are not going to be pretty
ArmyCaratExoL
#7
Chapter 43: I´m a little confused - has Namjoon still not entirely realised who Kookie is?
They kissed! yay :) I´m sure Kookie will eventually find a way to turn things around and leave Tae as the flustered one but they´re cute regardless of who flusters who^^
Sungmena
#8
Chapter 43: Yes. This is exactly what I needed lol. Thank you!!!
ArmySlays
#9
Chapter 43: Omg they finally kissed and I died. Blushing Kookie and teasing Tae are the best. I'm so glad their relationship is going in a good direction on their own pace. I'm just sad that Jungkook has doubts that he's like Kamin and their father. After all that he's been through he came out nice and is a really good person. Thank you so much for updating💜
ArmyCaratExoL
#10
Chapter 42: Awww poor Kookie! you´re not like those horrible people