eighteen

Bittersweet nightmares

Jungkook woke with a gasp, struggling to get enough air into his lungs, only half aware of his rapidly beating heart. It seemed to take minutes for his thoughts to clear, although it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. After his mind successfully wrapped around the fact that he was safe in bed, he pressed his hands flat against his chest and tried to focus on steadying his breathing. It was just a nightmare. There was nothing to worry about.

He closed his eyes and slowly inhaled, fighting through the pain and tightness in his chest. For some reason, this nightmare had affected him more than the previous ones, even though they were all virtually the same. He didn't need to do any mental acrobatics to figure out why; it was a side effect of the pentagram Yoongi had found in the attic. It felt like it was haunting him - even the pentagram in the nightmare had morphed into exact copy of the one in the attic. Jungkook could still see it's carefully drawn lines when he closed his eyes.

“So…” started the demon conversationally, startling him. He had been so focused on the nightmare and its side effects that he somehow forgot the demon was right there and most likely awake, given all the noise Jungkook had been making. “I have a proposition.”

Jungkook closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. His heart was still beating way too rapidly, and, now that the worst was over, he realized he was trembling. If he wanted to get any more sleep, he needed to calm down. He definitely didn't need the demon to make the situation worse.

He didn't give any indication he heard what the demon had said, but he didn't have to. The demon knew when he was being ignored on purpose, and proceeded to elaborate anyway; “Tell me what you were dreaming about and I'll answer one question about demonology.”

That was somehow not what Jungkook had expected, although it wasn't all that surprising once he thought about it.; the demon knew how to sniff out people's weaknesses and use them to his advantage. Jungkook was sure his curiosity about demons was obvious, even though he’d only ever asked the basics he needed to know to successfully coexist with the demon, and never attempted to ask serious demonology questions, assuming that the demon would outright refuse to answer them. Now that he gave it some thought, however, he was no longer so sure. Unfortunately, it was too late; if he refused the demon's preposition, the demon would likely refuse to answer any questions about demons in the future just to spite him.

“Who says I have any questions?” asked Jungkook, purely to buy himself a few more seconds to think. Or to be more exact; buy himself a few more seconds to calm down enough to be able to think.

“Oh, I don't know,” replied the demon, amusement clear in his voice “everything about you?” Jungkook couldn't see his face in the darkness, but was nevertheless quite sure he was smirking.

He let out a small sigh. “What guarantee do I have that you'll actually keep your end of the deal?” he asked.

“Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but this seems like a great way to get information. Why would I blow it on the first try?” was the demon's immediate response. It was more or less what Jungkook had expected and certainly believable since the demon didn't seem to be in the habit of making illogical decisions.

The only question now was whether it was worth it. The answer would have been an absolute yes if he could have asked why he was able to tell lower and medium demons apart from humans - unfortunately, Jungkook had a strong feeling that would never work out in his favor. The most likely turn of events was the demon sensing how desperately he wanted to know and refusing to answer, which was something Jungkook truly couldn't afford. If he planned to ask anything, he needed to find something he was curious about but not overly invested in.

He bit his lip, barely realizing he was doing it. He knew telling the demon about his nightmare was not a good idea, especially given its potential to bring attention to some aspects of Jungkook’s life he really didn't want to share. Then again, it probably wouldn't uncover anything the demon hadn't guessed already, not to mention Jungkook had full control over how much information he actually revealed. After a torturous minute of pondering, he concluded it should be fine as long as he was careful with his words and made sure he didn't include too many details. Probably.

He let out a sigh. “Okay.” he said slowly, hating how unsure he sounded. He never knew whether he was making a good decision or the worst possible mistake when he was dealing with the demon, and the feeling was horrifying. 

Slowly turning his head towards the ceiling, he took a deep breath as he tried to decide how to start. Even this relatively easy task seemed a whole lot more complicated than it should have been. “I dreamt I was summoning a demon.” he said finally, after almost a minute of silence. “And, uh… ” He had to pause to gather his thoughts. Talking about it was a lot harder than he had imagined it would be (which was an achievement on its own, because he had known it was going to be hard), and he couldn't help but think that this was a mistake. The first time he had summoned a demon was one of the worst moments of his life, and even now, years later, a wave of anxiety washed over him every time he was reminded of it. Not even Jimin knew just how many scars the event left him with, and now he was supposed to tell the demon about it?

He took a deep breath. He truly couldn’t afford to let his anxiety control him - it was absolutely necessary to figure out the right amount of details to share, and he had to stay focused for that. Too much information could be dangerous, and too little could make the demon think he was hiding something. If he was going to do this, he had to stay calm.

The demon probably sensed he was on the verge of changing his mind, because he hadn't let him think for more than a minute. “I think I’m going to need some details.” he said, his voice, as usual, filled with amusement.

“I just…” Jungkook paused, still not entirely sure how to begin. “I out?” He didn't mean to make it sound like a question, but that was how it came out. He wanted to kick himself for the show of weakness.

What followed next was silence. Jungkook felt mildly nauseous as he tried to figure out how to finish the conversation without either sharing too many details or suffering from a panic attack due relieving one of the worst events in his life directly under the demon’s watchful eyes. Needles to say, he wasn’t very successful, and the silence dragged on until it became uncomfortable.

He heard the demon let out a soft and possibly slightly exasperated sigh, which was soon followed by a question; “Which part makes it a nightmare?” Jungkook could only see the demon’s outline, but it was enough to notice he was leaning slightly forward, and he had to suppress the urge to move as far away as possible.

Even though the answer probably couldn’t be more obvious, Jungkook still had to think about it for a few seconds. It was hard to focus when he was giving everything he had to keep from being into an unpleasant memory. His efforts felt a lot like standing at the edge of an enormous cliff, waiting for a gust of wind to push him over. “The moment right before I out.” he said eventually, wishing he could leave it at that and forget about the whole thing. He knew the demon was going to ask for more details though, which was why he only paused for a few seconds to gather his thoughts, before continuing; “I realized I wouldn't be able to stay conscious and that the pentagram was too small to land safely inside its lines.” He swallowed. “So… I thought I was going to die.”

“Then how are you still alive?” asked the demon, confusing Jungkook for only a fraction of a second needed to realize that the demon, with his excellent ability to read him just as easily as an open book, had figured out that Jungkook’s nightmares were a response to a real event. There was no way he could have hidden that from him, especially considering how he struggled to keep the panic at bay every time he was reminded of what had happened the first time he had summoned a demon.

He blamed his fragile emotional state for the words that came out of his mouth next. “My father…” he started and then stopped. He definitely didn't want to talk about his father, least of all with the demon. To be completely honest, he didn't want to even think about him. Swallowing, he tried to ignore the sudden weight in the pit of his stomach.

“You're nobility, aren't you?” asked the demon after a few seconds of tense silence. His voice was, as usually, filled with amusement. He didn't seem even a little bit surprised, confirming Jungkook’s suspicion that this was something he had already guessed.

It wasn't a hard thing to guess. There were only two ways one could learn summoning; either from parents who had to have been nobility because only nobles were allowed to teach summoning to their children, or through a job. Jungkook was clearly too young for the latter, so it was obvious which of the two options was the correct one.

Jungkook pressed his lips together and looked away from the demon, not entirely sure what to say. Luckily, he didn't really have to say anything - the demon's quiet chuckle let him know that his silence was taken as a confirmation.

“Well then.” said the demon a few seconds later, his voice (as usually) filled with amusement. Jungkook noticed, with a corner of his eye, that he accompanied his words by a nonchalant wave of his hand. “Your turn.”

Now Jungkook did look at him, although the movement of his eyes was completely automatic. A small part of his mind probably expected it would be easier to decipher the demon's words if he saw his expression. Needles to say, that particular part of his mind wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed; the room was too dark to see anything but vague dark shapes, and it would be easier to have a conversation with a wall than to guess what the demon was thinking based on his facial expressions.

The demon, as usual, somehow managed to figure out Jungkook was confused. He let out an exaggerated sigh that was clearly meant to convey his exasperation, before he finally clarified; “Ask your question.”

Jungkook took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. Now that the conversation about the nightmare was over, he began to relax. The anxiety was slowly being replaced by exhaustion and he was finding it harder and harder to focus. He was sure there were many demonology questions he could ask, but he couldn't think of a single interesting one.

In the end he went with; “How did you murder your previous masters?” It wasn't really a demonology question, which meant he wasn't guaranteed an answer, but he decided to try his luck. Knowing the way the demon had screwed over the people before him was way more relevant to his current situation than any demonology question he could actually ask.

The demon responded by letting out an amused chuckle. “Not a demonology question.” he pointed out in a voice that implied he found the question entertaining.

“It’s a question about you. You are a demon.” Jungkook pointed out, despite not having much confidence his words would accomplish anything. There was always a possibility his assessment was wrong though; the demon was incredibly unpredictable, not to mention telling Jungkook the gory details of how he murdered his previous masters would probably amuse him to no end.

The demon let out another chuckle. “Fair enough.” he said to Jungkook’s surprise, before adding light-heartedly; “As long as you're absolutely certain you want to traumatize yourself.” The amusement in his voice, together with the fact Jungkook was unpleasantly well acquainted with the demon's personality, let him know this was more of a promise than a genuine warning.

“I'm not that easy to traumatize.” he said, although he had to admit he wasn’t entirely sure that was the truth. He certainly hoped it was. His general knowledge about demons and everything the demon had put him through so far, told him he was ready to hear whatever the demon would throw at him, while the demon's unpredictability and clear joy at making him suffer screamed at him to brace himself.

“Mhm.” was the demon's only response, the mocking tone of his voice betraying that he was even less convinced in the truthfulness of Jungkook's statement than Jungkook.

“I was summoned by a commoner once before you.” he said after a few seconds of silence, making sure the word ‘commoner’ sounded extra mocking.

“She was a servant and her order was to kill the queen. I’m sure you can imagine what a tough task that was considering monarchs tend to be surrounded by higher demons. However, my dear mistress…” The mocking disdain in his voice at the words ‘dear mistress’ told Jungkook everything he had to know about the demon’s opinion of the servant. His unwilling response was a flinch, not because of what had been said, but because of the sudden and unwelcome thought; he would be bothered if the demon talked about him in the same way he talked about his previous mistress.

“…had a surprisingly decent plan.” continued the demon, seemingly unaware of Jungkook’s inner turmoil. Jungkook messaged his temples while doing his best to forget about the thought and instead focus on the demon’s words. He needed to hear this, and there was plenty of time to figure out why he suddenly seemed to care what the demon thought about him later. It was probably just a byproduct of exhaustion and anxiety anyway.

“The queen had a bit of an alcohol problem, so the servant decided to poison her wine. She ordered me to sneak into a wine cellar and replace half of the contents of at least five bottles with poison made of deadly nightshade. She specifically emphasized to choose the bottles at the back of the cellar, because it would take longer to get to them so the traces of magic needed to reseal the bottles and make them look untouched would fade.” continued the demon. His voice was completely nonchalant, which somehow made Jungkook even more uneasy than the demon’s trademark amusement.

“Honestly, it wasn't such a bad plan considering the lax security of that place.” said the demon, waving his hand through the air. “It would have probably worked – if the servant didn't forget to order me not to warn the queen. But she did, so I happily wrote down all the details of my summoning and my mistress’ plan on a piece of paper and wrapped it around one of the bottles.” The room was still much too dark for Jungkook to see the demon's face, but there was no doubt in his mind that he was smirking. It seemed that this was one of the demon's favorite memories, and Jungkook tried not to be creeped out by it.

“I'm not entirely sure what happened since I was dismissed right after, but one of my acquaintances, who had been working for the queen at the time, told me the servant was hung.” continued the demon, his voice somehow even more cheerful than a minute before.

“Besides her, I either directly or indirectly killed six more masters.” he said. Jungkook expected him to continue right away, but he didn’t. Once he was quiet for more than half a minute, Jungkook couldn't help glancing in his direction. Immediately, he wished he didn't – the demon had used the silence to close the distance between them and was now so close that a single careless movement would be enough for their fingers to touch. To avoid that, Jungkook tucked both of his hands under his head.

“Now, I'm going to tell you how I murdered them, but not how I got around their Orders…” said the demon after almost three minutes of silence, his voice betraying both amusement and enjoyment. “…since that wasn't really your question and I'd hate to give you any unfortunate ideas.”

Jungkook responded with a glare. He was sure the demon could see him and that the reaction would amuse him, but for once didn't really care. It wasn’t like he could actually hide his emotions from the demon, so he might as well embrace them.

Clearly, the demon was incredibly good at interpreting Jungkook’s words in a way that allowed him to give an answer, but not the one Jungkook actually wanted. He had asked him a more generalized question because he was interested in both how the masters died and how the demon got around their Orders. The possibility of the demon dissecting the question and answering only a portion of it, didn't even cross his mind. Needles to say, it really should have. The fact that he was capable of making such a huge mistake freaked him out a lot more than everything the demon had just told him.

“One I drowned, one I got assassinated, one was killed in a coup I staged, two burned to death in a fire and one was trampled by a horse.” said the demon in a voice that was much more suited for talking about the weather than counting the ways he had murdered his masters. It was that nonchalance that sent shivers down Jungkook's spine and made him automatically press his back further into the wall and curl his limbs closer to his body.

“You won't give me any details?” he wondered, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“I answered your question, didn't I?” said the demon, his voice colored with a tinge of amusement. Jungkook didn't need to see his face to know he was smirking.

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ArmySlays
#1
Darknessandfire I hope you're doing well. This story is one of my favorites and I always come back to it. I've reread it at least five times by now and I love discovering little things that I missed in chapters the first time. The plot, characters and their interactions are on point. I'm wondering if this story is maybe discontinued or you're taking hiatus? Nevertheless thank you for writing this amazing story and I wish you all the best. 💜
ArmyCaratExoL
#2
Chapter 48: a date in a panic room, how lovely^^ all these Kims being implicated with the ... I do hope Seokjin isn´t :(
Obama27 #3
Chapter 46: Oooooohh, things are spicing up a bit over here, both with taekook and the search. The plot keeps thickening but for the better. There's so many pleasant twists and turns in the story which keep me at the edge of my seat as I keep reading. Trust me, I never get tired of this mastapiece and only log on this site to exclusively read this.

I read five of the recent chapters all in one go cuz I was saving it like that last piece of chocolate you save for that perfect day. I am shooketh at the progress of taekook, like yes finally, it took Kookie some time but he finally figured it all out, albeit with a nudge from Yoongi, but he gots it nonetheless. I love their dynamic and the way V always tries to lowkey comfort and take care of Kookie. I ship it and I love it. I hope to read a lot of their dynamic in the future chapters and I can't wait for your next update!

Thank you author-nim!!! ^3^ <3
ArmySlays
#4
Chapter 46: I'm so glad they are moving forward with their investigation. I hope they catch that red head soon. And I love taekook interactions, it's so cute. Tae's initiating a lot of skinship lately and Jungkook's reactions are the best. He's slowly getting used to their relationship. Thank you so much for updating, I really love this story.💜
celestemoon #5
Chapter 45: I love this story so much!!!
ArmyCaratExoL
#6
Chapter 44: Ooooh, when Tae gets his hands on Kangmin things are not going to be pretty
ArmyCaratExoL
#7
Chapter 43: I´m a little confused - has Namjoon still not entirely realised who Kookie is?
They kissed! yay :) I´m sure Kookie will eventually find a way to turn things around and leave Tae as the flustered one but they´re cute regardless of who flusters who^^
Sungmena
#8
Chapter 43: Yes. This is exactly what I needed lol. Thank you!!!
ArmySlays
#9
Chapter 43: Omg they finally kissed and I died. Blushing Kookie and teasing Tae are the best. I'm so glad their relationship is going in a good direction on their own pace. I'm just sad that Jungkook has doubts that he's like Kamin and their father. After all that he's been through he came out nice and is a really good person. Thank you so much for updating💜
ArmyCaratExoL
#10
Chapter 42: Awww poor Kookie! you´re not like those horrible people