Music: SHINee Onew and Jonghyun - Please Don't Go

Onew just looked at Jonghyun for awhile  but then turned away. Seconds went by in silence until Onew opened his mouth: 'No. I'm just thinking about...everything.' That got Jonghyun worried; he knew when Onew thought about "everything", it usually meant he was blaiming himself for something. 'Care to tell me what is this everything?', Jonghyun carefully asked his hyung. Again Onew didn't say anything. "Did he get mad at me?" Jonghyun thought; was he too pushy? But Onew broke his thoughts: 'I just hate this situation where we are in. I can't do anything and you guys are left to do everything while I lay in bed.' Jonghyun smirked: he was right that Onew was blaiming himself, although there wasn't anything to blame. They knew their leader had to rest to recover from the surgery and the resting helped his voice to come back sooner but they didn't blame Onew for this; they knew that their hyung would recover and come back as an idol.

'You know hyung that we aren't angry with you', Jonghyun said. 'We know that you will have to rest a lot to bring your voice back and we aren't troubled to work more; we have gotten used to it.' They have been already 6 years in the business so the work load was nothing to them. Still, Onew wasn't convinced. 'I'm sorry Jonghyun-ah.' he said, voice breaking in the end. Jonghyun sighed: he didn't understand why Onew punished himself over nothing. They supported him and encouraged him to go to the vocal lessons, and tried to be cheerful for his sake. They also did things together to keep Onew motivated: Key went with him to a spa and got a massage for both of them, Minho watched TV with him or played video games with him and Taemin talked about everything with him. Onew was grateful for s but he still wasn't happy about his situation.

Jonghyun decided to move away from the door closer to bed. He sat behind Onew and turned to see him. Because he had been so busy with his radio, Jonghyun hadn't got the time to look closer to his leader. Now he could see the stress and uneasiness in Onew's face: his eyes were tired, face unhealthy white and hair in a mess. He always wore a T-shirt and trousers: he didn't have any schedule so he didn't have to dress up properly. Still, Onew looked like a big mess. With these thoughts, Jonghyun made up his mind. Slowly putting his legs on the bed, he lied down, got closer to Onew's back and wrapped his arms around him. Onew startled and turned to Jonghyun: 'What are you doing?'. Jonghyun smirked: 'I'm hugging you. Isn't it obvious?'. Onew laughed little: 'You're weird.' 'So are you hyung', Jonghyun said seriously.

Onew's eyes got bigger: why did Jonghyun sound so serious? While Onew was oggling him, Jonghyun turned his gaze towards the door: 'Jinki.' Now Onew was getting frigtened: Jonghyun used his real name when he was scolding him or wanting to have a serious talk. He hoped it was the later one. Jonghyun continued while ignoring Onew. 'Jinki hyung, I really want to ask you: do you think that we are mad at you?'. Onew jumped a little: well that was straight but Jonghyun has been always little blunt. Not trusting his voice, Onew nodded. Jonghyun chuckled: 'I knew you would answer like that. Let me make this straight to you: we aren't mad at you. We are just very worried about you.' Worried? Why would they be worried, Onew thought. 'We are worried because you don't smile at us with your whole heart', Jonghyun answered to Onew's unspoken question. 'Your smile seems hollow and you seem to be in a different world while you're with us. I understand that you have a lot on your mind but I...we would appreciate that you share those feelings with us. Aren't we a family?'. Onew gasped: he said those exact words when Jonghyun was dating Sekyung and was very worried about the fans' reactions to it. Onew said that he could always share his feelings with because they were a family.

'You have always had a problem to share things with us because you think that you can't burden us with more', Jonghyun broke his thoughts. 'There you are wrong: we want to share your troubles and listen to you. We aren't a team without you Jinki.' Onew's lower lip trembled; he knew he was going to cry. He tried to bat his tears away but it didn't work: they came down like a waterfall. Onew started to sob; Jonghyun holding him close to his chest. 'I didn't want you to feel like that but this is my own fault that I had to go to surgery and make things for you guys. I have failed as a leader and as a hyung', Onew said while crying his little poor heart out. 'I should make things easier for you but I always do something stupid and ruin it all'. Although Onew couldn't see it, he felt Jonghyun shook his head as a 'no': 'Hyung, didn't you listen to me at all? None, I repeat, none of this is your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself. We couldn't have a better leader than you.' Onew just "hmph"ed: 'Yeah right. You know yourself that is one big lie.' Jonghyun got angry about this. 'Dammit hyung, can't you see? Key nags more nowadays, Minho has been more silent and Taemin...Taemin is so worried about you that he usually cries himself to sleep. Trust me, those noises aren't fake. All this is happening because we don't have our leader with us!'.

Onew's widened: he didn't know any of this. s have been so cheerful around him so he thought they were more positive about his recovery than himself. But now he could think about one thing: why didn't they come to him? Jonghyun must be a mind reader or something, but he answered his question: 'The reason why they didn't come to you to talk about their feelings is because they don't want to trouble you and stress you too much. They have been coming to me because I'm the second eldest after you.' 'What about you?'. That question startled Jonghyun. 'How are you feeling?' Onew asked while turning around and looking into Jonghyun's eyes. Jonghyun stayed silent before answering: 'I hate to see you suffer while knowing I can't do anything to make you feel better. I hate to see us all suffer but your suffering breaks my heart even more. You have always appeared so strong but now when I see you crying...I feel like I have failed you as a second hyung to the others.' Jonghyun closed his eyes after this: he couldn't look into his hyung's eyes and see the disappointment in them. He had promised to be a good hyung and sub-leader while Onew was away but now he felt so angry about himself; he couldn't fullfil his promise and felt deep hatred towards himself.

But what happened next startled him: he felt Onew's lips on his eyelids. He opened his eyes to see smiling Onew, eyes full of love and gratefulness. They looked each other before Onew opened his mouth: 'Jonghyun ah, I have said this many times and I say it again: I couldn't have wished a better second hyung than you to Kibummie, Minho ah and Taeminnie. You have shown them such a great love that I wish sometimes you were my hyung. But, unfortunately, you aren't.' Jonghyun smiled little bit; at least Onew got his humour back. 'Yeah, too bad... I would have bossed you so much around', Jonghyun smirked to which Onew laughed.  They laughed little while; after that they looked into each others' eyes. Jonghyun got closer to his hyung and hugged him: 'Saranghae hyung.' 'Saranghae Jonghyun ah', Onew replied. 

While hugging each other, they both fell asleep.

Well there you have it folks. I apologize for not updating this sooner: been so busy with school and had tough time with my friends. But everything is fine now :-)) This has been my first fanfic so go easy on me ;) hope you liked it. See you in next fanfic!