Music: EXO - Call me baby

Jinki laid on his bed, deep in thought. He had just came back from his voice practice and was tired. He understood if he wanted his voice back properly, he had to go through these lessons. But sometimes he just wanted to give up and say that he didn't want to continue anymore: he was just so tired of trying and yet again failing in some points. Okay, his voice wasn't bad but it wasn't also good: it broke on some notes and words and sounded awfully unfamiliar to his own ears. He was just frustrated that he couldn't use his voice and talk to the other members. He sometimes wondered why his dongsaengs kept on giving hope to him and encouraging him to continue his lessons. They must have felt pressured over the fact their leader might not get his voice back on time.

Jinki threw his pillow over his head to the wall and watched how it slumped to the floor and laid there unmoving. He sighed and went back laying on the bed. This was kind of usual routine in his life nowadays: go to his vocal lessons, come back home, lock inside his room and laid in his bed rest of the day. He just hadn't enough energy to talk to s about his problems and also didn't want them to worry about him. Minho was busy enough with his housting in Music Core, Key with his musicals, Taemis with his solo debut and Jonghyun with his Blue Night radio show. They had enough stress and Jinki didn't want them to stress more about his condition.

Jinki rolled over to his back and stared at the ceiling. He had counted how many spots there was in the ceiling. 101 spots. He had been so bored one time that he counted them and got 101. He had this habit to count things when he was bored or not speaking, like in concerts. He liked to count how many fans had come to see them and listen to their songs. Fans... SHINee World. He missed his fans very much, their screams when they came on the stage and the fan chants during songs. He had read comments on the net about them missing him, his voice and his smile. They were also worried for his health and left messages filled witk encouraging words. But among the good comments were also bad. They usually said it was good time for the other SHINee members to have spotlight and have their voices out in the songs. Of course s and the other fans said not to care about these comments but it was easier said than to be done. He himself knew that reading those coments wasn't a good idea but he still read them anyway. And he also agreed on some notes, like the ones saying s finally had the chance to shine more. Many people said this was good time to let the other members do what they wanted. Being the humble person he was, Jinki said nothing about being lonely in th dorms and let the others do what they wanted. He just wanted them to be happy and enjoy their life in cost of his own happiness. They deserved to shine more than him who couldn't even speak one single word.

While muling over his own thoughts, Jinki hadn't heard the front door opening and closing. He also didn't hear the foot steps leading to his room and stopping right behind his door. He didn't hear the knock which followed after the steps and was oblivious someone stepping inside his room. He jumped a little when he heard someone calling his name. He turned his to the side and saw Jonghyun there, hands behind his back. He was smiling little and, after staring each other sometime, said,

'Hey Jinki-hyung. Staring at the ceiling again?'