Mingyu stood in the middle of Hansol and Minghao’s living room, just staring at Wonwoo’s closed bedroom door. He’d been standing there for ten minutes, completely still.

Hansol and Minghao had both been on the couch, waiting for him to make a move before they left. No one said anything to make sure that Wonwoo wouldn’t hear them. They all knew that what Mingyu was there for needed to be done in private. Seeing that his friend wasn’t moving any time soon, Minghao sighed and stood up. Hansol followed. They both looked at each other and knew that they should go.

As they walked by him, Minghao gripped Mingyu’s shoulder and quietly whispered into his ear, “Just go in when you’re ready.”

“I’m never gonna be ready,” Mingyu whispered back.

And he was right. Nothing Mingyu did or said or thought could ever prepare him for seeing Wonwoo again, but ever since Jihoon and Seungcheol made up a few days ago, it’s all he could think about. Ever since he moved to the city, Mingyu played with the idea of looking for Wonwoo, but never truly felt like it. After all, he felt nothing for the boy, and for years he thought that was true. Until that one day Soonyoung and Jihoon mentioned that Wonwoo lived upstairs.

Right upstairs.

Since then, Mingyu couldn’t stop thinking about him. And the more he thought, the more he felt. For weeks, Mingyu just thought of Wonwoo. While his best friend’s love story was going on, all Mingyu could do was think about the one he let go, and he started to regret everything.

It hit him so hard and all at once that he nearly exploded. His feelings for Wonwoo just erupted in his head and heart, almost destroying him. Then he told Jihoon. Then the others all heard. Then Jihoon’s story was fixed. Leaving Mingyu broken and alone.

And now he was just a few feet away from the boy he still loved. He was going to talk to the boy he crushed and never spoke with again. He was going to see the boy he left and never looked for. How was he supposed to be ready for that?

Minghao nodded and pat his friend on the back. Without another word, Minghao and Hansol silently slipped out of the apartment, leaving Mingyu with himself.

Hearing the door lock behind him, Mingyu closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He couldn’t think anymore. He had done too much of that in the last few weeks. He would never be ready, but he needed to do this. No more thoughts entered his mind.

Shaking in his pants and without any further hesitation, Mingyu walked up to Wonwoo’s door and knocked.

“Yeah?”

He froze. Just hearing that voice made his heart sink. He would know that voice anywhere. For a moment, he just stood there clutching the doorknob. No thoughts came. He slowly opened the door. “Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo sat up in his bed. He was studying for an exam he had in a few days, but all of a sudden forgot everything he was doing. He froze. His eyes locked onto the bedroom door as it slowly creaked open. Wonwoo’s heart started beating insanely fast. Too many thoughts were racing through his head as the knocker came into view. His eyes grew wide and he just stared at him. “Mingyu.”

Mingyu was staring at the ground. He couldn’t look up just yet. Slipping into the room, he gently shut the door against his back. “Hi.”

Wonwoo had no idea what to think, but his body was doing it for him. He quickly shut his textbook and moved it to the side as he inched over to sit on the edge of his bed. The whole time he was adjusting, his mouth hung open as he continued to stare at Mingyu. “Mingyu,” he said again.

Mingyu finally flicked his eyes up and met Wonwoo’s gaze. He couldn’t help but smile as his body ached. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Wonwoo said back, unable to think of anything else.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. They both just looked into each other’s eyes from across the small room.

“I’m...I’m sorry...to just drop in like this,” Mingyu managed to say in a shaky voice.

Wonwoo automatically replied with what he would’ve said to anybody else. “Oh, no, it’s fine.” But it most definitely was not fine. Even though Mingyu smiled, Wonwoo didn’t.

Mingyu nervously nodded. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been...good,” Wonwoo answered. “Yeah, I’d say it’s been pretty good. How about you?”

“Alright, I guess.”

Wonwoo nervously nodded. It wasn’t until now did he realize how many questions he had for this boy, but he knew better than to bring them all up at once. “I heard from my roommates that you moved out here to Seoul.”

Mingyu swallowed hard. “Yeah. I got into this art school.”

“When?”

Mingyu could hear the hurt behind the question. “Um, about two years ago.”

Wonwoo’s chest started to pound harder. “Wow. That’s great!” he said as politely as he could, even though he was dying inside. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I...had changed my number, ya know,” he struggled to explain. “I lost pretty much everything.”

“Right.”

There was an uncomfortable silence before Wonwoo sighed and asked, “So are you still painting?”

Mingyu weakly grinned. “Yeah. Not as much as I’d like though.”

“How about clay? You still working with that?” Wonwoo asked.

Mingyu frowned and looked down. “No. Not anymore. I was having a hard time…” He paused and looked back into Wonwoo’s eyes. “...feeling anything.”

Wonwoo felt like he was being punched in the gut. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

Another punch. “Still.”

Again, they were both silent. No one knew what to say next. Then Wonwoo stood up. “Well,” he said as he brushed off his jeans. “It was nice seeing you, Mingyu.”

With that, Mingyu was reminded of everything he knew about his former best friend and former boyfriend, Jeon Wonwoo. That defensive tone he was using. That passive aggressive statement. That look in his eyes. Mingyu knew he was upset. More importantly, he knew he was hurt. “Wonwoo-ah…”

“Seriously, Mingyu,” he kept going. “Thanks for stopping by. Now that I know you live right downstairs, we can say hi like this whenever.”

Mingyu had seen Wonwoo like this before, but it was never Mingyu who put him in this state. He couldn’t leave him like this. “Wonwoo, I didn’t come just to say—”

“No,” Wonwoo sharply interrupted. He stopped for a second to just stare at Mingyu, the boy who left him two years ago. The boy who said he felt nothing for him. The boy who was hiding out in Seoul and didn’t decide to show up until now. He was smart enough to know why Mingyu was here. “No. I don’t want to hear it.”

If this was anyone else, Mingyu would be surprised. But this was Wonwoo. He knew him way too well. He knew this was how he would react. Even if his words were harsh, seeing the same Wonwoo let Mingyu know that not too much had changed. “Wonwoo...I—”

Annoyed, Wonwoo interrupted again. “I told you, I don’t—”

But Mingyu had to say it. “I was wrong.”

Wonwoo paused to stare at the same-old Mingyu. “Don’t give me that crap.”

“Wonwoo, I was completely—”

“You’re really stupid!” Wonwoo yelled, finally showing his true anger. “You are really stupid.”

Mingyu watched Wonwoo’s face heat up and his ears get red. “Please—”

But Wonwoo wasn’t having it. He stormed over to Mingyu and stopped right in front of him, glaring up at his face. “You’re an idiot! Do you know that?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes, completely frustrated with the ridiculous kid who was once again in front of him. “Somethings never change, do they?!”

Mingyu couldn’t stand being this close to Wonwoo without being allowed to hold him, but he had to resist. “Wonwoo, I know you’re upset—”

“YOU BETTER KNOW I’M UPSET!” Wonwoo screamed. Suddenly, Wonwoo was horribly reminded of all of his feelings the last time he saw Mingyu, the last time he was screaming at him like this. He could hardly handle it. Wonwoo pulled back the hair on his forehead and turned around, pacing away from his ex. “I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!”

“Wonwoo—”

“YOU THREW ME ASIDE LIKE I WAS NOTHING! YOU SAID YOU FELT NOTHING FOR ME!”

“I was wrong.”

Wonwoo spun around and yelled, “TO HELL YOU WERE WRONG!” There were no tears coming down his face. This was pure anger and frustration.

And Mingyu could understand, so he let him go on yelling. “YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME ON THE ING TRAIN STATION FLOOR! YOU ABANDONED ME AS I WAS GOING TO PURSUE MY DREAM OUT HERE! I LOVED YOU AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T ANYMORE! YOU BROKE ME!” Wonwoo had to stop to catch his breath before he continued. “DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH BACK THEN? I FELT SO ALONE BECAUSE OF YOU! I COULDN’T TRUST ANYONE TO TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED WITH US! I SPENT EVERY PART OF ME TRYING TO FORGET YOU AND MOVE ON FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS!” Unable to handle his emotions, Wonwoo tried to compose himself and his rage. He glared into Mingyu’s puppy eyes as he exclaimed, “AND NOW YOU’RE HERE! I DON’T CARE WHY THE YOU’RE HERE, BUT YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE! THIS IS MY CITY! SEOUL IS THE HOME THAT TRIED TO PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AFTER YOU TORE ME APART! YOU ALREADY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO MOVE OUT HERE WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME AND THEN JUST SHOWING UP?!” Panting aggressively, Wonwoo wanted nothing more than to punch Mingyu. Make him feel what he was feeling. Instead, he just repeated himself. “What gives you the right?”

As Mingyu listened, he felt his heart break all over again. He’d been thinking about all of the pain that Wonwoo must’ve went through after that day two years ago, but hearing him say it was just so much worse. But Mingyu wasn’t going down without a fight. “I’m really stupid,” he said with a sigh.

Wonwoo was furious, but he was oddly glad to hear that. “I KNOW THAT!”

“I...am an idiot.”

“I ING KNOW THAT!”

Mingyu swallowed.  “I was wrong.”

This time, Wonwoo didn’t fire back as quickly. Hearing Mingyu say that again made him stop. He sighed and looked away. “I know that, too.”

Seeing Wonwoo calm down, Mingyu knew this was his window in. “I was wrong, Wonwoo.” He waited to see if the boy would interrupt. He didn’t. Wonwoo just stared at the wall, ready to listen. “Please, Wonwoo, I hardly know where to start with all of this but...I’m so sorry! I’m...I’m so sorry! I want to just tell you a million times how sorry I am but I know it’ll never be enough.” He sighed and looked away as well. “It’ll never be enough. What I did to you...was the dumbest thing ever. EVER. I...ed up so hard.” Mingyu chuckled at how awful this was. “I...was so wrong. I never should’ve said or done...any of those things. Ever. Never. I was just...stupid.” Mingyu was having trouble putting his words together. Being in front of Wonwoo was making him lose all sense. His tongue was feeling dry and his energy was already drained, but he knew that he needed to keep going. This was way too important. “Wonwoo, I’m so sorry for everything I did to you. For all the crap I put you through after that. For not telling you I was here. For...being wrong.” He turned back to Wonwoo, who was now looking at him. Trying his best not to choke on his words, Mingyu said, “But I’m here...to ask for you back.”

Wonwoo’s heart stopped. He knew he was angry, but all of a sudden he felt paralyzed. He felt the blood running through his veins, as if that was the only thing keeping him alive. “ you.”

“Wonwoo—”

“No, screw you, Mingyu!” Wonwoo yelled. “What the hell makes you think I would EVER want you back?!”

Mingyu stopped. He stared deep into Wonwoo’s eyes, searching for that spark that was there even when his wasn’t. Calmly, he asked, “Don’t you?”

Wonwoo didn’t answer. He’d been thinking about that ever since they broke up. For the first few months, Wonwoo dreamed about Mingyu coming back to him just like this. For a while, he wanted nothing more than just to be with Mingyu again, just to have the love of his life return to him. But after that initial phase, Wonwoo knew that he needed to forget Mingyu. He knew the only healthy thing to do was move on and try to meet other people. But that never truly happened.

As much as he hated himself for it, there was always a part of Wonwoo that wanted Mingyu back. He said he would move on, but every time Wonwoo tried going out again, it ended after the first date. Nothing sparked anything like what he had with Mingyu. There was always a part of Wonwoo that refused to let go of his first love. He told Seungcheol all about it the other day, and by now all of his friends knew it. Wonwoo did want Mingyu back. But there was no way in hell he was letting Mingyu know that.

“Even if I do,” Wonwoo spat, “why would I give you the chance to hurt me again?”

That answer was enough for Mingyu to know what Wonwoo was thinking. Mingyu stepped closer to Wonwoo. “I won’t hurt you again.”

Wonwoo hesitated. “Do you think I’m so weak that I’d go back to you after all of your ? Do you really think I haven’t changed since we were together?”

“You have changed, just not too much,” Mingyu gently said.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “What the hell makes you believe that I want to be with you again?”

Mingyu took another step closer. “Because you still have that painting, don’t you?”

Wonwoo was ready to move back, but he didn’t. He felt his chest loosen as he sighed. “Mingyu…”

“You still have it.”

Wonwoo shook his head and stepped away. Without looking at Mingyu, he went to his closet and opened the door. Hastily pushing some boxes aside, Wonwoo grabbed what was behind it. It wasn’t even well hidden.  “There.”

In his hand, Wonwoo clutched a painting of a single, purple door along a yellow wall with a welcome mat in the front and the number 71 painted in silver in the center. “So what?”

Mingyu’s hands were tingling. Everything about Wonwoo and this painting was hitting him all over his body. “Wonwoo…”

Wonwoo sighed and didn’t let him go on. As he was seeing that painting for himself again, Wonwoo’s initial anger started to fade. He hated himself for it, but his true feelings for Mingyu were coming back. “I still have your stupid painting. I just…” he looked up at Mingyu, who was clearly relieved to see the painting was still around. That weirdly made Wonwoo feel warm. “...couldn’t throw it out.”

Mingyu stepped forward and looked at his own artwork. Flashbacks of even before he and Wonwoo were together came to him. Still unable to comprehend all of his emotions, Mingyu suddenly blurted out, “I still love you.”

Wonwoo knew that was coming. Moving the painting out of sight, Wonwoo walked away. He placed it upside down against the wall. “You’re an idiot,” he muttered.

Mingyu couldn’t control himself. “And you still love me, too.”

“You’re an IDIOT.”

Wonwoo had his back turned to him. His heart going off like crazy, Mingyu stood behind Wonwoo and closed his eyes. “But...you still love me.”

“You’re—!”

“Wonwoo, please!” Mingyu interrupted, raising his voice for the first time. Wonwoo stayed perfectly still as Mingyu’s hands came up and clutched his shoulders. That touch was enough to make Wonwoo fall to his knees, but he stood his ground. Wonwoo wasn’t pulling away, so Mingyu knew it was alright for him to be that close. He leaned into Wonwoo’s ear, like he had done so many times when they were together, and said, in a quivering voice, “Please, Wonwoo. I still love you. Your idiot still loves you. I was so wrong because I love you more than you could ever imagine. I didn’t know it was still there. I ing thought it was gone, but I was wrong. Wonwoo...I love you just as much as I did before, if not more. I love you. Please, please, I know you’re mad, but just...just think about the possibility...of you still loving me.”

Wonwoo listened as Mingyu’s breath repeatedly brushed the back of his ear and down his neck. Thank god Mingyu couldn’t see his face because Wonwoo was losing it. His senses were being flooded with Mingyu. His body shook because of Mingyu. His mind was actually thinking about what he just said. Wonwoo sighed and dropped his shoulders. “Of course...I’ve thought about it.”

Mingyu squeezed a little harder as he waited. “I’ve thought about it...a lot.” He sighed again. “Maybe I still love you.”

Mingyu dropped his hands. He didn’t know how to handle hearing what he’d wanted to hear for a while now. Wonwoo finally turned around to face him. “And maybe...I blame myself for what happened between us.”

Now that caught Mingyu off guard. “Wonwoo, none of that—”

“Maybe I blame myself for not fighting harder for us. You were going through a lot and I...was oblivious to everything. I thought we were fine. I thought me moving wasn’t gonna be a big deal.”

“Wonwoo, I never blamed you for—”

“But I do. Part of this is my fault. Maybe,” he sighed. But he then furrowed his eyebrows at Mingyu. “But how can you be so selfish and only think about your happiness after what you did to me?”

Mingyu’s chest ached. “I’m here—”

“You’re here to try and win me back,” Wonwoo fired. “You’re here to get back together. Well, you’ve been here for two years and NOW is when you want that to happen? You’ve had all this time to try and make up with me, let us maybe be just friends again and you didn’t do that. Instead, you’re here, on your own time, when you want to, to try and get me back? Mingyu, how can you be so selfish?”

Mingyu paused as Wonwoo stared into his eyes. He could now see the slight glaze over them. Both of them were getting teary. Mingyu opened his mouth and tried to word exactly what he was feeling. “I know this is selfish,” he admitted as he brushed past Wonwoo to sit on the edge of the bed. He covered his face and groaned in his hands. “I know...you should never take me back. Any sane person should’ve kicked me out right when I started talking.” He looked up again. “But Wonwoo, I was wrong...and I know I can make it up to you.”

Wonwoo crossed his arms and glanced down at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I ed up real bad. And the person that got hurt the most out of it was you, because I was being dumb and feeling nothing. I had no consequences, until a few weeks ago when I was just hit with...everything.” He sighed and watched Wonwoo slowly come to sit next to him. “But I know that I love you too much to not even try to get you back.”

Wonwoo listened. “I cheated you out of two years of this relationship, Wonwoo. I took that away from you. In total, I took away four years of us being happy together because I know you couldn’t even think about how great we used to be after I left. I was an idiot and I ruined everything.” Seeing Wonwoo’s face, Mingyu knew he wouldn’t pull away, so he slowly placed his hand on top of Wonwoo’s knee, leaning in closer to the boy, trying to look into his eyes.

It took everything Wonwoo had not to run away, but there was that small part of him that loved Mingyu’s touch. “I love you, Wonwoo,” Mingyu said softly. “And I want you back...to give you everything I took away. I don’t want to just be friends again after knowing what it’s like to be with you. I want you to be happy again. I want you to be able to look back on what we used to be and be happy about that. I want to give you everything you deserve. And I would never be here asking for you if I knew that you didn’t want that.”

Wonwoo stared into Mingyu’s eyes. They were so close. Mingyu was so close. Wonwoo’s gaze fell down to the boy’s lips. He trembled, his words ringing in his ears. It hurt how nice it was to hear those things. Then, in a moment of weakness, Wonwoo’s hands shot up, grabbed Mingyu’s face, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Mingyu’s entire body felt like it was on fire. The second their lips met, he lost all control. Instinctively, his hands came to Wonwoo’s waist and he kissed him right back. It had been two years since his body felt this kind of intensity. He still loved this boy way too much.

For Wonwoo, it was even worse. Mingyu was right. He still loved him. So all of that love was just bursting out of him in that kiss. He needed that kiss to...Actually, he didn’t know why he needed that kiss. Just having Mingyu so close was too much without closing the gap.

Before Wonwoo knew it, Mingyu had crawled on top of him and they were both laying flat on his bed. They kissed and held each other like nothing had ever happened to change their love. Until Wonwoo remembered that something had. All of a sudden, Wonwoo released and pushed Mingyu’s chest up. “Stop!”

Immediately, Mingyu got up. They were both breathing heavily. Mingyu was standing on the side of the bed, his knees shaking. He had always hated the moment right after a kiss. Right now it was even worse. “I’m sorry!” he sputtered.

“No!” Wonwoo exclaimed, sitting up and pulling his hair out of his face. “No, that—that was all on me.”

Mingyu rapidly nodded, trying to catch his breath. “Right.”

For a moment, Wonwoo just sat on his bed, waiting for his head to get on straight. He couldn’t think properly having inhaled that much Mingyu. He was lightheaded, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “You didn’t look for me.”

Mingyu turned to look at Wonwoo. He smiled. “But I found you.”

Wonwoo hesitated, so Mingyu went on. “I never looked for you...but somehow here we are. Somehow, you live right above me, in apartment 1017B.” Mingyu took a second to walk over to where Wonwoo left the painting. He picked it up and flipped it around. “I’m right downstairs in 917B. Somehow, something put us together and you moved in here with my best friends. Maybe I’m wrong to say I found you.” Mingyu smiled and put the painting down again. “Because you found me.”

Wonwoo’s thoughts were finally starting to clear as Mingyu walked over to him again. “You have no idea how hard it was to find an apartment with those numbers.”

Mingyu chuckled as he sat on the bed. “I could imagine.”

Wonwoo couldn’t help but smile, even as he thought of everything awful that had happened. “You took everything from me.”

Mingyu scooched closer. “I’m so sorry,” he said, knowing nothing else was needed.

Wonwoo stared at Mingyu, letting his final feelings come to him. Mingyu was right. He still loved him. He hated himself for how much he loved him. He knew he knew better. “I know better than to go back to you.”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu said, taking his hands. “I want to be with you...to make you happy again. You coming back to me has nothing to do with you being weak.”

Mingyu knew exactly what Wonwoo was thinking. “I’ve missed you.”

The first few tears were rolling down his cheeks. Mingyu smiled. “Me too.”

Now it was Wonwoo who moved closer. “You hurt me.”

“I’ll never, EVER do that again!” Mingyu exclaimed.

Hearing this idiot sound so genuine made Wonwoo chuckle. “You better not.”

Wonwoo’s laugh was always the sweetest thing Mingyu had ever heard. It was even more beautiful now. “Never.”

The two of them were once again right in front of each other, their noses just about to touch.

Wonwoo gave one last sigh as he stared into Mingyu’s love-infested eyes. “I hate you.”

And Mingyu broke out into the biggest smile possible. “I love you too much to believe you.”

With that, Wonwoo smiled too. Relief flooded over him and he quickly closed the gap between him and the boy he loved. If it was possible, this kiss was even more electrifying than the first. Wonwoo pulled Mingyu in close and kissed him with everything he had.

And Mingyu did the same. They fell back into Wonwoo’s bed and kissed like they hadn’t seen each other in years.

But before anything, Wonwoo smiled and unlocked from Mingyu. Staring up at the boy laying right on top of him, he said, “You’re an idiot!”

Mingyu grinned and pressed their lips together again. “I love you, too.”