two

2008 - twenty-two 

can’t wait to come home

* * * * *

The next few years were a blur of best-selling albums in Korea and Japan, sold-out concerts throughout Asia, and millions of newly-gained fans worldwide. And Boa reveled in all of the glory and success. But for some reason, she still felt kind of empty inside. Maybe because she’d already conquered all there was. 

But maybe she spoke too soon. Just a few months before her twenty-second birthday, SM Entertainment decided that she was going to be the next Korean artist to debut in America. 

And even though it was like a dream come true (this was the next step to further solidify her place as Queen), she knew that the risks weren’t small (there were so many others who’ve tried before her, and not one of them had succeeded).  

But then again, she was BoA, and they didn’t call her the Queen for being weak, afraid. 

But it was also because she was BoA – smart, calculative, careful – that she knew the consequences were grave because if she were to fail (which was highly likely considering all of the talented individuals who went before her), the time she’d spend overseas would surely have a negative impact on her fanbase back home. 

She was already going to be twenty-two. And it didn’t help that for the past few years of her career, SM Entertainment already had her focusing mainly in Japan. Sometimes, she wondered if her Korean fans still even remembered her. Especially since so many other girl groups debuted in the span of these few short years. 

So even though she was brave and daring, a natural-born risk taker, she knew that even she was bound by some of the world’s orders, that even she had to live by some guidelines, that even she couldn’t defy all rules. She couldn’t always be Queen. 

Her concerns, though, didn’t really seem to affect management’s decision one bit. 

A few months after they told her the news, almost all remnants of her life at home were packed up and shipped to Los Angeles (not that she had much to begin with anyways since she was always traveling back and forth between Korea and Japan, and for most of the last few years, she’d basically been living from a suitcase). She followed shortly after that. 

And she was fine for the first two months. It was just training (even though it was endless and harder than ever before because she had to be fluent in English in a few short weeks since nothing was impossible to SM idols, right?). Aside from the language barriers, she was doing quite well (all of the staff and dancers from the American team that she was assigned to praised her professionalism). So even though she was lonely and scared and confused, she was always busy, and that kept her from thinking too much (from missing everyone too much). 

It was a late October evening when she was lying down, wide-awake in her bed in the one-bedroom studio that SM had rented for her in the heart of Downtown Los Angeles. She should’ve been asleep already since it was already almost midnight, and she still had practice tomorrow. It was just hard to fall asleep when she was always on edge, nervous and anxious and scared about her American debut, her worries taking over her mind when she wasn’t training or practicing (and besides, the never ending hustle and bustle of the LA streets weren’t helping). 

She turned around in bed for the umpteenth time that night, having given up on counting sheep once she’d reached two-hundred-thirty-seven earlier, when her flashing phone caught her attention. She reached over and flipped the screen open, seeing a message from Jaejoong. 

A smile involuntarily made its way to her tired face. Even though they tried their best to keep in touch, it was hard, especially when they were always in different parts of the world at the same time. 

Sure, he’d sent her a few encouraging messages just a few weeks ago when she first left Korea (because he was in Japan, so he couldn’t see her off, but Boa knew Jaejoong, Yunho, and the rest of the DBSK boys would’ve never let her leave on her own if they were home when she left the country). But it seemed like it’d been forever since she’d actually talked to any of them, since she’d actually talked to Jaejoong. And she missed him. Of everyone that she missed, she missed him, her best friend, the most. 

She opened the message and laughed a little at the line of emojis (thirty exactly – she counted) that preceded the actual text. That’s so Jaejoong. 

What do I mean to you? 

- JJ

She read it once, then twice, not sure if she was seeing it right. Smiling a little in confusion, she rested her hands on the keys, trying to think of what to say. Chuckling to herself when his second message came, she shook her head lightly (because it’s not like she’s really disappointed – well, only kind of) as her manicured fingers (which were chipping, something she’ll have to take care of tomorrow because image was everything, at least that’s what SM taught her) hurriedly typed in a reply. 

It’s for Come to Play >_< 

Kekeke :D But I do want to hear an honest response! 

- JJ 

It’s hard to say in words. 

You mean a lot to me ^_^ 

- B 

She yawned softly, suddenly feeling really tired. Closing her phone, she set it beside her pillow and pulled the covers up. She turned her head up a little, her eyes catching the dreamcatcher that was hanging over her bed (the one that Jaejoong got her for her sevente